The Secret Lives of Housewives (26 page)

The medic arranged the back of the stretcher so she could sit up. “Ma'am, I think the cops are pretty much done with this for now, but someone will follow the ambulance. We really need to get you to the hospital. One of your friends can ride along, the others can follow by car.”

“I'll go,” Angie said, “then Monica can drive me back later.” She told Cait that Monica had picked Eve and her up so they had only one car.

In the back of the ambulance, the paramedic started an IV, “Just in case,” he told her, and she told Angie the details of what had happened. “You're amazing,” Angie said. “You had the presence of mind to call Logan.”

“I just did what I had to. How did you find out I was in trouble?”

“Logan called me, frantic, after he'd called the police and I called Monica and Eve. Logan's in the city, and he said it would be at least an hour before he could get here.”

Logan. Before Hotguy had showed up she was ready to end her marriage. Now she wasn't so sure. She felt needy and small, and wanted Logan beside her. “God, I was such an idiot. I didn't pay serious attention to any of the warning bells in my head. I should have made sure Brett—no, Nick—didn't know things about me. I should have been sure to set the alarm system when I got home. I should have…”

“Stop right now,” Angie said, sternly. “You could have and should have but what happened, happened, and that's that. Move on.”

“That's very good advice,” the medic said.

As she was wheeled into the emergency department, still holding Angie's hand, she saw the other two women giving her the thumbs up sign. It was okay. She didn't think she was seriously hurt and Nick would be put away. But what could they charge him with? Could he convince the judge that she had invited him? What if he wasn't sent to jail and came after her again?

In the trauma bay, a doctor poked and prodded, then X-rayed and scanned with their CAT scan machine. An hour later she was bandaged and the ER doctor told her that they wanted to keep her overnight for observation. “There's a hairline fracture of the right orbit and your jaw is badly bruised. It should all heal without treatment, but you'll also need to see your dentist to be sure the teeth he loosened will stay put. I'll give you a prescription for some pain medication.” He patted her arm. “You're pretty lucky. The police will want your statement but they've already linked this guy to another assault in Ossining.”

“Another assault?” She might have guessed. “I want to go home,” she said. “Is there any real reason you want to keep me here?”

“You shouldn't be alone, and sleeping more than a few hours at a time isn't a good idea for tonight. You need to be awakened periodically to be sure there's no serious concussion.”

“I won't be alone. I'll have my husband and/or one of my friends stay with me. Can't they do whatever needs to be done?”

He let out a long breath. “I can't keep you here against your will, of course, and I won't insist if you're sure someone will stay with you. You might be better off not going back to your house until you're feeling a little stronger. It might not feel too comfortable yet and the cops are probably still there, making a mess.”

She smiled weakly. “You're right about the house and I'm sure I can find somewhere else to stay. I really am okay and I want to get out of here.” Eventually he agreed and gave her some written instructions and information about crisis centers if she needed counseling. Then he wrote out a prescription to take to a pharmacy, and told her she could leave when she was ready.

She told yet another police officer everything she could remember, including her meetings with Hotguy344. He assured her that Nick Montrose, which was his real name, wouldn't be bothering her again. He'd been linked by his fingerprints, not only with the assault in Ossining, but at least one more down county. “We're still gathering evidence and we'll be taking his DNA. It's Sunday night, but we've already got calls to two other jurisdictions on two other Internet-related assaults. We'll want to talk to you again but it can wait until you're feeling better. You were a lucky woman, with great instincts. That cell phone trick was a wonderful idea.”

His praise was warming. “Thanks, officer. I'm grateful.”

“Be grateful to your husband. He's the one who called us, very confused but very worried. He's outside, by the way, when you feel up to seeing him.”

“He's here?”

“It's been more than two hours. He's in the reception area with your three friends. Shall I let him come in?”

“Of course. And tell my friends I'll be out in a few minutes.”

While she waited for Logan, Cait changed back into the clothing she'd been wearing when Hotguy attacked her. As she slipped her jacket on and felt the phone in her pocket, she smiled. The officer was right, even if she did say so herself. She'd had the presence of mind to call Logan. As she pushed her feet into her shoes she saw the curtains around her cubicle part and Logan entered. He quickly enveloped her in a huge bear hug. “Oh God, Cait, I was so terrified. I'm so glad you're okay.” He stroked her cheek, now turning a deep shade of purple. “Your poor face.”

Cait returned the hug. “Thanks for understanding what I wanted.”

“I heard you say that someone was in your room and then you said call the cops, so I did. God, don't ever scare me like that again.”

Cait wanted to clear the air about a lot of things, but this wasn't the moment. “Let's get out of here. I want to see my friends before we go, then we can stop at the drugstore and pick up a few things. I don't want to go home tonight.”

“Of course. We'll go to the East Hudson Inn for the moment and go back home only when you're ready.” The East Hudson Inn was the nicest hotel in the area. Many of Logan's out-of-town clients stayed there and they'd had dinner in their fine restaurant many times. This would be the first time they'd ever stayed there. Or had Logan taken a room there with his mistress?

Eve, Monica, and Angie had waited patiently in the outer reception room and all but mobbed her when she walked out of the treatment area. “We've spent too much time in emergency rooms in the past month,” Monica said, almost in tears. “No more.”

Cait's eyes filled. Her friends. Her best, best friends. She'd often made fun of the “group hugs” she sometimes saw in chick flicks, but without reservation she joined the other three as they all hugged and blubbered. As she thought back on the past few hours Cait laughed inwardly with the joy of having not only survived but gotten the best of a total bastard.

Angie had obviously filled them in on the details of what had happened, so after each of the three stepped back to look her over carefully, satisfying themselves she was indeed all right, they all left. Logan escorted Cait to his little car and together got her prescription filled at an all-night CVS, then drove to the inn.

It was more than three hours after her encounter with Hotguy that they were finally settled in a luxurious hotel room. She sank onto the king-sized bed, spread some salve on her face, then slowly told Logan all about her adventures on the 'Net, about Hotguy, and then about the evening. “That's about it. I know it was about the dumbest thing I've ever done, but I was so lonely.” She paused, then said, “Logan, tell me about her.”

“Her?”

“There must be another woman and I think I'm ready to hear everything.”

Logan unfolded himself from the small side chair he had been sitting on and opened the small minibar. At her request, he handed her a bottle of water then took out a bottle of scotch for himself. “I don't know where to begin. Or better still, when.”

He poured the contents of the tiny bottle into a glass. “Back when we were trying to have a baby I slowly became aware that I didn't want to have sex with you.”

To have something to do with her hands, Cait twisted the cap off the water bottle and poured a little into a glass. She tightened her stomach muscles, girding herself for whatever he was going to say.

“I figured it was just some midlife thing so I started going to bars after work, trying to find someone who turned me on, but there was no one. I saw lovely, willing women but no one did a thing for me. That's when I began to suspect. No, that's a lie. I think I've suspected for a long time but I didn't want to admit anything to myself.”

Suddenly Cait knew what was coming but she let Logan spell it out. “I met a guy through work. He was looking at some property in Mamaroneck and well, one thing led to another and you can guess the rest. It was the best sex I'd had in a very long time. We haven't seen each other since but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided I was sick, some kind of a pervert. I agonized. I began hanging out in gay bars, just to prove to myself that it wasn't true, but it was.”

Cait slowly let out a long breath, then clasped her hands in front of her. She should have been shocked, sickened, but she found she wasn't. All she felt was a deep sadness. “Have you found someone in particular?”

“I've spent about a dozen evenings with a marvelous man named Gary. He's my age and almost as confused as I am. We talk and seem to understand each other. And we have sex. Cait, it's such a betrayal. I don't know what to say.”

“Could you give it up and come back to me?” Somehow Cait hoped he'd say no, and he did.

“I don't think so. I don't know whether Gary's someone for the long term but I know I can't go back to the way things were here. I have to admit to you, and to myself, that I'm gay, and I probably have been for a long time.”

Cait stood, crossed the room, and nudged Logan to his feet. Then she put her arms around him and just held him. “It must have been terrible for you. I'm so sorry.”

“What are you sorry about? I'm the one who's been cheating on you.”

They'd both been cheating, trying to find something to hold on to as their marriage fell apart. “Somehow it feels different than if it had been a woman.” It wasn't what she'd feared, another woman, a rival. He wasn't interested in women, any women. That wasn't her fault. It still hurt, of course, but in a different way. “What I'm sorry about is that you couldn't talk to me about it. I love you. As a friend, if that's the way it has to be. I care that you're so unhappy.”
Funny
, she thought,
I think I've always liked him better as a friend or a brother. Perhaps I've known about him for longer than he has.

Logan began to cry and Cait joined him, wincing from the pain in her face. “I never imagined you'd take it this way. I played the ‘Logan tells Cait' scene over and over and in every scenario you cry and yell. I hurt you.”

Cait held on, in pain from so many sources. “Yes, you did. Very much, but I did some bad stuff, too. Let's just decide it's a wash and try to figure out how to move forward, together or separately.”

I
t was after three
A
.
M
. when Monica arrived home to find Dan waiting up for her. She'd phoned him from the hospital and told him about Cait's assault and he'd offered to pick her up. She'd declined since she'd brought her car and had to drive Angie and Eve home. “How's Cait?” Dan said, holding her in his arms as she shook. Now that the adrenalin was wearing off, she was a wreck.

When she could function again, she answered, “She's doing a lot better than I would be under those circumstances.”

“I don't believe that. You're a lot stronger than you think you are.” Eventually, after lots of talk and two glasses of brandy, they climbed into bed, still wrapped tightly together, and he didn't let her go until he fell asleep.

The following morning she sat at her desk in her office, still wondering what she was going to do about Mr. Conroy. She loved Dan. That was the basis of all her decisions. The tiny voice that frequently whispered in her ear was still murmuring, more softly now, but still audible.
Men can't be trusted. Power is everything. Take the partnership any way you can get it.

When the phone rang she answered.

“Hi, sis, it's Bonnie. I saw what happened last evening on Channel 12 and I recognized Cait's name. I just wanted to make sure everything was all right with you and with her.”

“She's doing surprisingly well and I'm pretty good, too. Luckily it wasn't nearly as bad as it might have been, thanks to Cait's quick thinking and yoga-trained foot.”

Bonnie's chuckle echoed through the phone line. “That's so wonderful. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That probably goes for all four of you.” There was a pause, then Bonnie continued, “And me, too. Monica, I have a bit of news of my own and I wanted you to hear it directly from me.” She could hear her sister draw in a long breath. “Jake's moving back home.”

Monica was speechless. She wanted to rail about his faithlessness, his corruption of their wedding vows, but she quickly stopped herself. This was Bonnie's decision and Bonnie's life. “Tell me about it.”

“He came over last evening and we talked for a long time. Monica, I love him. With all his faults, he's the only man I've ever loved and I want him back.”

Resigned, Monica said, “I guess I can understand that.” Could she understand love so powerful that her sister would risk everything?

“He swears to me that this was the only time he ever strayed and I believe him, or at least I want to. Trust will take a bit longer but I want to try. We made an agreement. He'll be home on time and spend lots of time with me and the kids. If there's ever a hint of any more nonsense he's out of here for good. No arguments, no nothing. I think he's really ashamed of what he did.”

Monica swiveled her chair, leaned back, and stared out her wide office windows. This certainly had been quite a couple of weeks. “If that's what you want, then you should go for it.” As she said the words, she thought about Dan. Maybe that was her answer. She had to go for him, too, whatever the risk.

“He'll be sleeping in the guest room for a while, until I'm willing to have him in my bed again, but we both want to make this work.”

“What about the kids?”

“They're delighted, of course, but a bit leery, as I am. I'm not sure they'll ever completely trust our relationship again, and so be it. We'll all have some adjusting to do. Sis, will you and Dan come over this Sunday and be family with us? Please? Janet and Walt and the kids are coming, too.”

You and Dan
. It sounded so natural, so good. It would be difficult for her to forgive Jake for all the pain he'd caused her sister, but this was Bonnie's life and she had a right to live it whatever way she wanted. Monica would be there in case things went bad again but she'd say a prayer every night that everything go smoothly from here on out. “Sure. We'll be there. About three?”

“Sounds great.” She could hear the relief in her sister's voice. She'd probably been expecting a lecture from her “don't trust men” sister.
Never tell people things they already know,
Monica thought. Maybe it wasn't altogether true, either. Maybe you could really trust some men. “Bring pie, and maybe ice cream from that great place of yours?”

“Will do.” She replaced the phone in the cradle and leaned back, watching tugboats and barges make their way up and down a white-capped Hudson River. For better or worse, Bonnie was taking Jake back. He might be a louse who had treated her really badly, but she wanted him, and she was willing to take the risk that it might go wrong again. Eve was attempting to reunite with her daughter, for better or worse. Logan and Cait? Who knew whether they could work things out, but they'd find something. Angie had said that she would support Tony's decision if he wanted to go back to teach in the South Bronx. Monica wanted Dan and she'd risk the pain of his leaving to take what she could from the present. She turned back to her desk and picked up the phone, only to remember that Dan would be in a meeting all morning.

As she replaced the phone in its cradle, her door opened and Harrison Conroy walked in. “Good morning, Monica. Ready for a brand-new week?”

“Yes, sir.” She was ready to take on the world, for better or worse.

“The partnership meeting is this Friday. Have you thought over what we discussed last week?”

The moment of decision. But it wasn't. She'd made the decision the previous evening and again a few minutes ago. The partnership wasn't that important. “I'm sorry, Mr. Conroy, but I'm afraid I'm busy this week. I'm going to take a friend to the doctor tomorrow so I won't be in the office at all, and then I'm going to take another day to be with my fiancé.” Fiancé. She almost grinned at the sound of that wonderful word. Granted, it was an overstatement. They hadn't discussed marriage yet, but she knew Dan felt as strongly as she did. He'd be in town all week, and she hoped he could take a day off to play, and talk about their future. They needed it. And she needed to tell him everything.

Obviously disappointed, Mr. Conroy said, “Taking time off might not be the best impression to make on the other partners. They like to think you'll give your all for Conroy & Bates. I thought that, too.”

“I will give you the best job I can do within limits, and if that doesn't make me partnership material then that's that. My dearest friends and family come first.” She felt a weight lifting from her shoulders. These people at C & B weren't family like Dan, or Bonnie and Janet, or her three best friends. It was just a job.

“Women always think about their love life first. Typical.” He looked totally disgusted with her.

“And you, Mr. Conroy, were thinking with your…” She didn't finish but as she stared at his crotch, her meaning was perfectly clear. “Thank you for the lovely offer, but no thanks.”

In a huff, Mr. Conroy silently turned on his heel and left. Monica giggled and swung her chair around three times, her arms in the air. Life was wonderful. But she still had things to settle with Dan.

That evening, she sat with him in her living room and told him everything: from the way she solicited clients to Mr. Conroy's proposition. She'd even called herself a whore.

While she talked, Dan had sat quietly beside her, listening. She watched his face and his body language to try to judge how he was taking everything she said, but he didn't move. “I know there are lots of people who think that I shouldn't tell you all this since it has no real bearing on our future, but I couldn't move on until you knew.” She deflated like a balloon. Telling him had seemed important earlier but what if he decided he couldn't deal with what she'd been?

“I knew that yours was a cutthroat business but I never thought it was that competitive.” His tone was matter-of-fact so she still couldn't gauge his mood. “That's quite a story. Have you done any ‘entertaining' recently?” His voice steady, he made quoting marks in the air around the word.

“Not since that day at the zoo, actually.”

“Why not?”

“It didn't seem right. I felt something, a kind of connection, after that day, and I didn't want to confuse everything in my mind.”

His sudden smile warmed her. “I'm glad. I guess that says that you felt what I felt from the start.”

Her grin was rueful as she said softly, “I guess so. You're not too jealous or angry with me for what I've been?”

“Neither of us came into this relationship without a past,” he said, his eyes locking with hers. “I've had several intense relationships and I've done things I'm not totally proud of, as well. That's over now. It's just you and me in this relationship. No past, no lies, nothing but lots of love.”

Everything she felt whirled inside of her, blending into swirls of guilt and love. She could trust him.

“You told your Mr. Conroy no?”

“This morning, and he got the message loud and clear.”

“Will that mean the end of the partnership?”

“He says he controls the other partners, so I guess so.”

“Are you very disappointed?”

“Strangely enough, no. I feel a lot lighter.”

Their embrace was long and passionate. When they parted, Dan asked, “How's your business been? Since you stopped putting out, I mean.”

“Putting out? That's a very nice way of putting it.” She thought about it. “Actually I've been doing great. I landed a big new account just last week. Amid all the turmoil, the proposal I put together worked.”

“Without any beds in sight?”

She hadn't focused on it until that moment and he was right. “None. Maybe I am pretty good at my job after all.”

“The partnership would have meant lots of extra hours. I'm sort of glad it won't happen.”

“I'm a bit disappointed, but for the most part I find I don't care anymore.” She paused. “Much.” She planted a quick kiss on his lips. “From now on I'll put in maximum hours during the weeks you're out of town, but for the rest, I come first. We come first.”

“I love you, you know.”

Monica felt herself blossom. “I know.”

 

After everything that had happened in the past few weeks, Eve knew that she had to confront her daughter. Life was too short, for her and for everyone else. She hoped her cancer scare would turn out to be just that when she had the tests, but she knew she needed to see Brittany. She called the Liggetts from work the morning following Cait's attack, and she explained what she wanted and asked whether she could talk to their daughter. Not her daughter, but theirs.

“Of course you can, Eve. I've been hoping for a long time that you'd call. Two of Brittany's friends' parents are divorcing and she's been asking questions about us and about you. We've told her just what you wanted us to, that we didn't know anything about you but we know that you loved her. Your past is the only thing we've ever lied to her about.”

“What's she like?” Eve asked in almost a whisper.

“You'll see for yourself, but in general she's a good kid. Oh, she's a little rebellious like all teenagers, she dyed her hair ink-black and had her ears pierced four times, but all in all, she's everything any of us could have wanted. When would you like to come over?”

Oh, God, face to face? Could she carry this off? Suddenly terrified, Eve said, “I don't know whether I could face her. Would you tell her about me? I'd like her to know why I gave her up.”

“I don't think it's my place. It's your story and it's for you to do,” Michelle Liggett said. “I'll just tell her that you're a relative and want to see her. You can decide how much you want to say when you see her.”

She wanted to do this, but it frightened her more than she had imagined. They agreed that Eve would come over the following evening. Eve wanted to see her daughter before her tests.

She left work early and drove from the train station to the Liggetts' neighborhood, arriving half an hour before the meeting. Nice, neat house, she thought, with rose bushes across the back of the driveway and evergreens along the property line. There was a Toyota in front of the garage and she could hear a dog barking next door. She sat in her car in front of the house debating. Was she being selfish? What was best for her now sixteen-year-old daughter? She had no idea but this seemed right.

Finally, at the appointed time, she walked up the well-maintained front walk, hugging her coat around her, and rang the bell. Someone called, “It's open,” and she walked in.

She recognized Brittany from the pictures she'd seen of her. She sat in the neat little living room, and after a quick look, she snapped her head around so she was turned away from the door. She was a slender girl with long blue-black hair the color of coal and chandelier earrings that sparkled between the strands as she turned quickly away. Eve had rehearsed her speech several times in her mind but now that she was here, she found herself tongue-tied. She looked around the comfortable living room. Pictures covered part of one wall, photos of a small girl as she grew toward womanhood—posed school photos, ones she had copies of, and casual ones with her parents and a large shaggy German shepherd. There were trophies on the mantel, and she walked over slowly and saw that they were for baton twirling.