The Seven Steps to Closure (36 page)

Much to my delight, my toilet roll announcement broke up the embrace.

‘What a good idea,’ said Gloria, while Dinah sniggered. ‘Maybe we should do that.’

‘Every year Tara plans to make her own bon bons. What happened this year?’ she asked me.

‘The empty toilet rolls were taking up too much space in my bathroom cupboard. I meant to collect them again at the end of the year, and then with the wedding of the year, trying to achieve closure and travelling around India with someone whom will remain nameless tonight, I totally forgot.’

‘What were you going to put in them?’ asked Gloria.

‘Lollies,’ I said.

‘What else?’

‘Hmmm, maybe some chocolate.’

‘And?’

‘Well I must admit I’ve never thought this deeply about it.’

Dinah started to laugh.

‘Hum, maybe a balloon,’ I said.

‘That’s a good idea. You don’t normally get balloons in bon bons.’

‘Yeh,’ I was warming to my bon bons plan, ‘and maybe a card.’

‘What sort of card?’ asked Gloria.

‘From a deck of cards.’

‘What would you do with that?’ said Dinah.

‘Well, whoever gets the highest card gets to boss round the people under them for the day, and so on down the cards.’

‘Brilliant,’ enthused Gloria, ‘and you have to keep your card on you at all times or you have to skol a drink.’

‘Yeah. But you can force other people to swap cards with you, so that the person down the pecking order can make their way to the top.’

‘How?’ said Gloria.

‘I don’t know,’ I admitted.

The three of us silently contemplated my dilemma.

‘Maybe you could challenge someone to see their card and if they don’t have it they have to swap with you?’ suggested Gloria.

‘Yeah that’s it. Or you could steal it; either way, they have to skol their drink and then you get to boss them around all day.’

‘What else will be in the bon bons?’ asked Gloria.

‘Oh I know,’ I shrieked, ‘fake tattoos.’

‘Wow, I bet there have never been fake tattoos in bon bons before. So what else?’

‘Ummmmmm. Well a hat of course. But not those stupid paper ones. No, I’ll put real caps in mine.’

‘Tara,’ said Dinah.

‘Yeeesss.’

‘Exactly how big are these bon bons going to be?’

‘Big. I’m going to cut the toilet rolls up and use them to make bigger ones.’

‘Why don’t you just buy a roll of cardboard to make them?’ she asked.

‘Wow. I’ve never thought of that.’

‘And what are you going to put in them for the cracker part?’ Dinah continued.

‘Well… I just thought you could say BANG, when you pull them.’

‘So how do you know who won?’

‘The person with the biggest half,’ I said seriously.

‘You mean the biggest piece. Cause a half can’t be bigger than the other half, otherwise it’s not a half,’ slurred Gloria before putting her head on the table.

‘You’ve bon bonned her out,’ said Dinah in amusement.

‘That’s the first time I’ve ever bon bonned someone. Do you think bon bonning someone could be listed as a talent?’

‘What, like if you went in a Miss Universe competition?’

‘Yeah,’ I said, and then continued in a deep voice, ‘please welcome to the stage Miss Tara Babcock, her talent is bon bonning innocent victims.’

‘Would you have to bon bon someone during the competition?’

‘Yes. I may need to borrow Gloria.’

Just then, the others returned from the dance floor.

‘What happened to Gloria?’ asked Elaine.

‘Tara bon bonned her.’

‘She appears to be dribbling on the table,’ observed Alistair.

‘I’m all right,’ Gloria shrieked, sitting up so quickly that I fell off my stool in fright. Just then the music got boppier and Gloria raced to the dance floor screeching, ‘I love this song – come on.’

We all followed her and engaged in wild crazy dancing. I jumped around and around with my arms stretched in the air and the music pumping through my body, feeling so lucky to have such wonderful friends.

All of a sudden, the D.J. was counting in the New Year and all my friends paired off staring into each other’s eyes, getting ready for the New Year’s snogging session. I found myself wondering if Nat would lend me Ricardo for a quick kiss so I wouldn’t feel totally left out, but decided not to press the friendship that far. Feeling a tap on my shoulder I turned to see the bouncer standing behind me. Oh great. He was going to turf me out now? It’s not like I was behaving anymore badly than anyone else in the bar.

‘Eight,’ said the D.J.

‘You’re not going to,’

‘Seven.’

‘Kick me out now,’

‘Six.’

‘Are you?’ Maybe Bar Blue didn’t want to ruin its reputation as the hippest bar in town by allowing a single person to be seen on the floor at the countdown to the New Year.

‘Five.’

‘No,’ he said in a broad, pommy accent.

‘Four.’

‘Well, what’s up?’

‘Three.’

‘Just thought,’

‘Two.’

‘You might like,’

‘One,’

‘A bit of this.’

‘Happy New Year.’

And then he kissed me. It wasn’t a wonderful romantic kiss, or a wildly passionate one. But it also wasn’t sloppy and didn’t involve too much tongue. And while I would have preferred that it were Matt kissing me, I have to admit this was the perfect kiss to have when you’re not having a kiss.

‘Thanks,’ I said, smiling at him as we broke apart.

‘No problem, all part of the service.’ He gave me a cheeky little salute and sauntered back to his post on the front door.

‘What was that?’ Elaine asked me, laughing.

‘Oh, that,’ I said nonchalantly, ‘I pre-ordered a New Year’s snog. He was just delivering it.’

‘That’s why they won the Best Bar,’ Elaine informed me quite seriously. ‘They have wonderful service.’

The evening went on for a couple more hours during which more champagne was consumed and more dancing followed. It was the wee hours of the morning when I finally stumbled in my front door. The red light on my answering machine was blinking and I hit it as I carefully navigated my way to the bathroom. As I picked up my toothbrush I realised I could hear Matt’s voice. Staggering, I raced back to the machine managing to connect with most of the furniture in the room. I yelped as I stubbed my toe on the couch and then banged my thigh on the table.

‘Shit, shit, shit, shit,’ I said as I hopped to the machine to replay the message. In my hurry I missed the replay button and hit the erase one.

‘Noooooo,’ I shrieked as I saw the light stop flashing. ‘No, no, no, no,’ I cried as I stabbed rapidly at the buttons on the machine, trying desperately to get the message to replay.

After about five minutes, I had to admit defeat. I had erased the message. All I had heard was him wishing me a happy new year. Had he said he missed me? Had he said he wished he could be with me? I couldn’t be sure. Bad Bunny in tow, I dragged myself off to bed and promised myself I would ring him in the morning.

* * *

It was the morning I had been dreading. I sat with some toast and a cup of coffee, and tried to ignore the thought going round and round in my head. Today was the day Matt was getting married.

I’d tried to ring him a few times on New Year’s Day, and each time gotten the currently unavailable message. After that, I had given it all up and decided that this year was the year I got over Matt. I secretly feared that my life had gotten off course and I would spend the rest of it getting over the guy who had helped me get over the guy before him. I shuddered at the thought.

I was onto my second coffee when I heard the banging on my front door.

‘Seriously,’ I said to Bad Bunny, who was lying in a patch of sun on the carpet, ‘Why can’t people just knock? Why do they always have to bang?’

I opened the door to find Elaine, slightly stooped over and puffing.

‘You ran up my stairs?’

‘Worse,’ she said as she passed me heading for the kitchen. She helped herself to a glass of water. ‘I couldn’t get a park so I ran all the way down the street and then up your stairs.’

‘You missed me. That’s really sweet.’

‘Actually I thought you might be interested in reading this.’

She pulled Benny out of her handbag and then a magazine, which she flicked onto the table. Benny ran over to sniff Bad Bunny, who opened one eye and then perceiving no threat closed it and went back to sleep. Benny flopped down next to him in the sun.

‘He’s tired,’ Elaine observed of Bad Bunny.

‘He spent all night shagging his teddy bear.’

‘I’m surprised Benny’s gone anywhere near him after what happened last time.’

‘It couldn’t have been nice being humped in the head like that,’ I agreed.

‘Does he shag his bear back to front?’

‘Back to front, on the side, upside down, he is quite partial to a sixty-niner though.’ I gestured at the magazine. ‘Not another closure article?’

‘Not even close, go on read it.’

I picked up the magazine and joined her on the couch.

‘
Travel Abroad
?’ I asked her. ‘You want me to go overseas again?’

‘I think you’ll find it interesting reading.’

The cover of the magazine had a beautiful photo of a location that I recognised immediately.

‘That’s the lily pool at the Floating Palace in Udaipur,’ I said. I looked a little closer and let out a gasp. ‘Oh my God, that’s me.’ I knelt beside the pool wrapped in a sarong, running my fingertips through the water.

‘I thought it was. I couldn’t be sure because it’s taken from such a distance.’

I read the front cover searching for something about the photo. ‘Romantic Rajasthan.’ I stopped and looked at Elaine thoughtfully. ‘It’s Matt’s article?’ I asked her.

‘You’re not very smart this early in the morning, are you?’

‘I didn’t get much sleep last night. BB got up quite a rhythm and one of teddy’s eyes was banging on the floor.’

‘Why didn’t you stop him?’

‘Didn’t have the heart – at least one of us was getting some.’

‘If you don’t read this damn article you definitely won’t be getting any.’

I flicked to page 21 and began to read.

‘India – a country of contradictions. After five years in India I thought I’d seen it all. I’ve seen riches right next to poverty, gluttony next to starvation and watched new life emerge amongst a field of death. But never before, had I watched it unfold through another’s eyes. Never before had I touched India, tasted India or felt India the way I did recently. Sharing India with someone special amplified my reactions to it. This new India was about quiet companionship amongst a fairy garden land. It was strolling hand in hand through abandoned forts and rambling streets. It was watching sunsets over lakes. This India was made of magic, woven about me by a web of romance.
‘

The article went on for a few pages talking about our travels through Rajasthan. It never referred to me by name, instead mentioning me in an ambiguous way. I was the ghost that walked with him through his journey. Most of the spectacular photos featured me in some way, but in none of them could you have pointed at it and said, ‘Hey isn’t that Tara Babcock?’ I was a silhouette, or slightly unfocused against a spectacular backdrop, or just so far away that I was unidentifiable.

He had written an article called Romantic Rajasthan, and when he talked about someone special adding a magical ingredient to a previously well-known dish, he was referring to me. He was getting married in, I checked my watch, forty minutes, and I was sitting on my lounge, with crumbs on my pyjamas and a full on bed head.

‘Shit.’ I jumped up and started running around my apartment.

‘Tara. What are you doing?’

‘Getting ready,’ I said as I ran into the bathroom, and then back out as I forgot what I had gone in there for. I entered the kitchen and then ran back into the lounge.

‘Tara. Stop.’

I froze looking at Elaine.

‘What…. Are…. You…. Doing?’

‘I have to go.’

‘Go where?’

‘I’m not sure. I have to stop the wedding.’

‘Thank God. That’s the first sane thing you’ve said all morning. Right – into the shower.’

I nodded stupidly and ran for the shower.

‘Make it quick,’ she yelled after me.

‘What are you doing?’ I called back.

‘Getting out your clothes.’

Elaine had me out the door in less than 10 minutes. We sprinted up the road to her car and I jumped into the passenger seat as she roared away from the kerb.

‘We’ve got twenty-five minutes,’ she said.

‘Where are we going?’ I asked, suddenly aware that I wasn’t sure where the wedding was. I know they must have mentioned it on the radio but I seemed to have blocked it totally out of my mind.

‘Coogee Golf Course.’ Elaine dodged around another car, narrowly missing a parked one. ‘Damn Sunday drivers,’ she grunted.

I checked my seatbelt was done up securely. ‘It’s Saturday,’ I said.

‘Don’t get all pedantic on me.’ She pulled up next to another car at the lights and revved the engine as if she was in a drag race. When the light turned green, she floored the accelerator and shot past the other car, before merging in front of it. ‘Pussy,’ she chuckled.

‘What part of the golf course?

‘Fifth hole at the stack.’ She pulled on the hand break as she skidded around a corner.

‘Jesus Elaine, did you just do a hand break turn?’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Where the hell did you learn to do that?’

‘When I was in high school I lost my virginity to a racing car driver. He taught me a couple of interesting things.’

‘About driving?’

‘That – and he taught me how to handle a gear stick properly.’

She shot me a grin, and then put her foot to the floor as the light ahead of us turned yellow. We sailed through it just before it blinked to red. After a few minutes, I realised even with Elaine’s amazing driving skills we were taking far too long to get to Coogee. The traffic was horrific and more often than not, we were stationary or crawling at a snail’s pace.

I groaned, the suspense starting to get to me. Elaine checked her watch – swore – and then navigated her car up onto the curb.