The Sex Education of M.E. (6 page)

My dress rose, slowly dragging up my thighs as delicious distraction and dangerous diversion. My hands instantly came to his wrists and froze the motion.

“I…”

He pulled back from the make-out session with my neck and stared at me. His dark eyes were almost black with desire; his lips were slick and puffy from his attention to my skin.

“You want me to stop?” He wasn’t angry. He was curious.

“I just…I might not be like what you’re used to.” My eyes lowered, avoiding his penetrating gaze and feeling the potential prickle of tears. Tears would be a deal breaker and I couldn’t afford this deal to not go down. But I had to warn him. I wasn’t a slim twenty-year-old with flat abs and a tight ass. I was a woman who’d birthed children which widened my hips, massacred my stomach and sagged my behind. Not to mention, the weight of my breasts made them more
National Geographic
than national treasure when un-holstered from a bra.

“Emme,” he smiled slowly, “if I heard you correctly, you said you wanted sex.”

“Well, yes…but…” I stammered.

“And you asked how hard could it be?” His tone teased.

“Yes, but…”

He tugged my hand forward to cover the bulge at his zipper.

“Is that hard enough for you, darlin’?”

The only motion I could make was a nod. He held my hand over him and I risked a squeeze. His reassuring moan encouraged me to explore the shaft straining against his shorts. The thickness of his extensive length sent my body into overdrive with desire. My dress continued upward until a smooth hand caressed the outside of my thigh, up to my hip. I tried to suck my stomach in, but my concentration faltered.

“Just breathe,” he whispered into my neck, as he inhaled against me. “Mmmm…you smell like sunshine.”

I exhaled and his fingers skittered over the damp cotton between my legs. I moaned. No, groaned. I might have even grunted. Whatever the sound was, it was hard to imagine it came from inside me, but other things were happening inside me that outweighed any noise. The flutter was indescribable; a million tiny leaves rustling in a breeze. My toes curled. My core pulsed. My lower abdomen flittered. Then he touched me full on, fingers brushing over me, and my knees crippled. Without the wall for support, I was going down.

Thick fingers pushed aside my underwear and curled through wet folds. Since embarrassment was my theme, it was almost shameful how damp I was. His sounds of approval and the resounding moan against my neck increased the building pleasure.

The sensation of his groans tingled over my skin, and a choked giggle stalled any thought. The idea of sex on the first night seemed a little overboard. As much as I wanted this, I wasn’t convinced I could follow through with it. His nose tickled me.

“What’s so funny?” His mouth curled into a smile while he trailed over my collarbone. Before I could answer, I was sweetly impaled with a finger and my hands wrapped around his biceps.

“Is my proposal funny?” he teased. The breathy
no
I released encouraged a second finger to enter me, and I was lost. Working in and out of me, his thumb joined the party and circled that sensitive nub, triggering the fluttering flits to full flight. My knees locked and my hips bucked forward. In my head, I made promises to God and any other deity that wanted to listen, to give me the release I craved. My body teetered precariously on edge, tensing, bucking, clenching, responding. Finally, the flutters detonated, and a sound I didn’t recognize escaped me as I slid down the wall. Merek caught me, still cupping my core, forcing me to remain upright as his fingers continued their attention until I felt myself drifting down from a high taller than the Willis Tower itself.

“Oh my God,” I muttered, my eyes closing, as my head fell back against the wall. Merek’s mouth paid a final kiss to my neck before his fingers released me. My dress slipped down to my knees and my eyes slowly opened to see his mouth twitch upward. Breathing heavily, I stared at him. His expression was hard to read. While I felt satiated and replete, his face looked…confused.

“I think this just sealed our contract,” he said as he stepped back. “Just give me a minute.”

Here’s the thing: she was unlike any other woman. How did I know that in less than an hour? Because I’d been with many. Enough women to drown out the past and escape the present. Young, supple, experienced, innocent, all shapes, sizes, color. Women were my addiction, in some ways. More like a drug to numb the pain of things I didn’t want to admit to myself.

When Emme went for the pictures on the shelf, I didn’t want her to focus on people that didn’t matter. Well, they mattered, but not in the moment. I didn’t want her to think about anyone but us. Not that we were an
us
, but I wanted her to be in the here-and-now, which her body proved, she certainly was. Wet didn’t describe her. She was drenched, and it was heavenly. Her reaction to me was distinct. She wasn’t exaggerating the experience. She wasn’t overacting. She was savoring it, memorizing it. She was lost in my touch.

From her innocent comments, which rather forcefully fell from her mouth, she admitted she hadn’t been with someone in a long time. Maybe too long, if the tears in her eyes, while we sat on the patio at the bar, were a testament. She wanted sex, but she wasn’t willing to throw herself at me. In fact, she seemed a little awkward about the whole seduction thing. She wanted it, but she didn’t know how to ask for it. And honestly, I found it refreshing. Some women were so demanding; others I had to command. Emme let me take control, but she was all in.

My dick was so hard, I felt a loss of circulation, and I just needed a second to calm down before I went in for round two. I didn’t want to lose it too early. It sucked getting older. I couldn’t recover as fast as I used to, and Emme was someone I wanted to repeat.

Her body was shapely but that didn’t matter to me. I actually liked it that she wasn’t stick thin or so athletic I feared she could kick my ass. She’d ignored my comment about children. Her omission was admission that she had them. Her eyes were expressive. They widened when she got excited, as she had with her list of hard limits. They narrowed when she was annoyed, as she had when I called her
dear
. But I couldn’t read her thoughts. While some women told a story through their eyes, Emme didn’t. She was a cluster of mixed signals. Most importantly, though, those eyes grew lusty and heavy with the excitement of being touched. Realizing again that it had been a while since a man’s hands caressed her, my dick pulsed back to life.

Down, boy, or we aren’t going to make it.

Bracing my hands on the edge of the counter, I leaned over the sink and exhaled deeply. It thrilled me a little that I had been her first. Closing my eyes, I heard the soft click of a door. Damn this apartment. The walls were thin here. The slightest noise could be exaggerated. With that thought, my lip curled. The noises coming from Emme had been unrestrained. As much as she seemed a little uptight, pressing the right button would make her come undone. The pun was not lost to me. I wanted to press her again, and sincerely hoped she’d take me up on my offer. Commitment was the last thing I wanted, but an arrangement of types would solidify that I would see her again. Allowing myself one more deep breath, I pushed off the sink and headed to the living room to find it empty.

I searched the bedroom next, thinking she might have been more a temptress than I gave her credit, but the bed was vacant as well. Returning to the living room, my hands came to my hips in frustration. I couldn’t believe it. She’d walked out.

I’d thought a lot about Merek and his proposal. Too much, actually. To the point, I was wet and ready for him at the most inappropriate times. Not one to “take care of myself,” I suffered through the agony of desire, after I chickened out and bailed from his apartment. The sensory overload swept through my body and a strong case of he’s-out-of-my-league moved in. Self-doubt took over when he said he needed a minute, and other than the split second I thought he was headed for the ax to murder me, I couldn’t get my head back into the moment. I panicked.

Days later, I cursed myself. I had a problem; it needed rectifying. Gia didn’t know I hadn’t followed through on sleeping with Merek, so she encouraged me to date, since I’d broken the proverbial ice, which was the cold lower region of my body. My frustration scolded me. Maybe it was time.

My evening graduate class finished late, and I wandered into the grocery store after ten o’clock. The place was actually peaceful at this time, in an odd sort of way. Not many customers, yet there was a camaraderie. We were all here this late for a reason. Each person had a story, and some nights I’d make one up as I stood next to the display of apples, but I was too tired for imagination. My nighttime interaction from a few nights prior still haunted my thoughts to the point I was exhausted. Overthinking, that’s what I did.
How hard was I making it?
Of course, the word
hard
set off a whole string of images in my head like a pubescent teenager. Internally scolding myself, I moved onto the banana bins. That’s when I saw him.

Quickly glancing up and across the open cases to the salad section, I noticed Merek, his defined muscles hidden under a dark gray suit jacket. The back pulled tight against the firm strength of him. The color did nothing but enhance his sexy, silver features and he caught me staring when he swung to face my direction, holding a cucumber in his hand.
Forget it, I am an adolescent
. My eyes shifted downward and my hands shook as I examined the bunches of yellow fruit before me for far too long. My feet weighed heavy and circulation flowed directly to another part of my body, which seemed rather inappropriate for standing in the fresh fruit aisle.

Suddenly, a body bumped into mine from behind. As I made to turn, ready to rip into the rude intruder of my personal daydream, I was pressed forward enough that my hands fell among the bananas.

“Not going to talk to me?” The sound of his soft groan near my ear was a live wire to sensitive parts of me. Leaning against my backside, he bent us forward and reached around me to grab a clump of bananas. He didn’t move and we remained frozen in this compromising position for a moment too long.

“I didn’t think that was allowed,” I whispered, turning my head to the left, wondering if people noticed us. There didn’t appear to be another soul in the produce section. For a second, it seemed like there wasn’t another human in the whole store.

“You could at least say, hi.” His warm brush of air on my neck convulsed my body, and unknowingly, I pressed into him. His erection was pressed firmly against me. His arm still braced around my waist, and I noticed his fingers stroking the fruit.

“What do you think of these…bananas?” he questioned, brushing the length of himself tenderly from side to side against my behind.

“Hmmmm ... I like mine a little firmer,” I responded, swallowing hard at the implication.

“A little…or a lot?” I heard the smile in his voice as his other hand slipped to my hip, drawing me back and forcing me upright.

“A lot,” I whispered, despite the emptiness of the space. My voice could not have projected louder if I tried. All my concentration centered on one part of my body, and it sang a song I hardly recognized.

“That’s what I remember,” he said, letting his hand skim down my hip to rest on the outside of my thigh. Still dressed in my skirt and heels from class, my legs separated slightly to balance my weight and force my trembling knees to lock. Melting on the floor or falling over onto the display were my only two options. I reached for a bunch of lightly green fruit.

“Those look a little green,” he said and my eyes shifted to the ones not quite ready.

“They’ll ripen over time,” I purred, and his hand slid back up my hip bone. When he reached my side, the edge that pinched and rolled a little over my waistband, I flinched away. His large hand tightened his grip on the area once labelled love handles, and now considered lusty lumps.

“Yes, all the best fruits do.” His sultry voice made me shiver. “Over time.”