The Shadow Matrix (83 page)

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Authors: Marion Zimmer Bradley

BOOK: The Shadow Matrix
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Two more riders appeared, and then they saw Leonora, clutching the pommel of a

saddle, riding astride and looking both determined and frightened. She had smuts of

ash all over her round face, and her hair was draggled. Her eyes were huge, and her

mouth a maw of fury.

Marguerida repeated her strange call, and the closest horses balked. One threw its rider

overhead, and the other reared and sent the man slamming into the high back of the

saddle. The horse that
Domna
Leonora was riding screamed and twisted its head, as if

something was hurting "it.

The woman pulled herself off the horse, dropped to the ground with a soft thump, and

flew at them, her hands before her. Mikhail could sense the force of her personality,

even at the distance separating them. Something tried to seize his mind, but it was like

the buzzing of a gnat.

Marguerida stiffened beside him. He sensed that they were engaged in a silent battle of

wills. It took him an instant to realize that he was watching two women with the Alton

Gift of forced rapport come head to head.

Domna
Leonora halted, looking startled. She gave a little huff, and squared her

drooping shoulders, then closed her eyes. At the same moment, he saw a slow smile

spread across Marguerida's face, and he had the oddest feeling that she was actually

enjoying herself. Her golden eyes sparkled in the early morning light.

"Then
Domna
Leonora staggered, and went down on her bottom, into a small puddle

behind her. Her eyes snapped open and one of the armsmen urged his horse forward.

His face was so blank that Mikhail could not guess what he expected to do.

"Come on—run!"

Marguerida's voice snapped him out of contemplation, and he felt her hand clasp his.

He turned and bent his stiff and tired legs, then started to 'run. She was beside him,

panting but keeping pace. Behind them he could hear Leonora screaming with fury.

The mist of the lake coiled around them, tendrils of moisture like soft fingers, touching

his already wet skin as they crossed some invisible boundary. Lake Hali embraced

them, drew them into her depths, into silence and stillness, and an utter emptiness.

He floated, floated. He had come a great distance, so great he could not remember

where he began. Nothing existed here. Not even himself—nameless and placeless.

There was only a vast longing. It stung him, and a mote of something seemed to stir in

the nothingness. What was it? He longed for light or darkness—anything but this void.

The spark expanded, but it could not divide the endless emptiness.

A heat passed through him. If he could just hold it, name it. ... Anger? The word was

without meaning there. It belonged in another place. He belonged in another place. But

where? The heat passed, and he floated in the void, waiting for release, empty within.

It was so still. So still. . ..

Was that a sound? He tried to sense it, but it was gone. A tremor ruffled his emptiness,

a presence penetrated it, piercing him through and through.

The void released its hold, and fury ripped across it. There was a voice speaking, a

deep rumble. He listened

without hearing, feeling words that lacked meaning cover him, smother him.

There is nothing here, not even . . . who am I? Alone. No time, no place, no one

else . . . alone. But there should be someone, or something, if only . . . remember. Time

and space and memory. No meaning.

Shifting, something is shifted. Movement changes

no, not that. What? Ah, yes.

Feeling stuff. A word

gone, all gone. Need to catch . . . Catch? Grab? Seize? Clutch?

What are those? What am I?

Better, now. Stay hot! Burn! Flames! Surge
to ...
where? What? No where to go. Only

here, meaningless here. Drifting beyond meaning. I WANT

Spinning in emptiness, no direction, no point, hopeless, loss, FEAR!

Clenching fear! Hold, hold! Cold fear brings brightness! Slipping away. So hard.

Running out of time! What is time? Where is time? Wrongness? Rightness?

Where am I? Where is . . . Other? Other? What is that? Missing piece . . . of what?

Self? Self is Other? Nothing but • sparkles, motes of nothing.

GIVE IT BACK! Give me back myself!

Alone, alone, alone. Heat gone, cold gone. Sparkles gone. Calling to sparkles. Silence.

What's that? The silence stirs. Where? Terrible noise

find terrible noise! Seek! Seize!

Mikhail felt himself wrenched into air, cold and clammy, and found a hand in his,

holding so tight it ground something into his finger. It was painful. Something was

squeezing his hand, and something else was hauling at his collar! Someone was trying

to kill him!

He gasped and began to struggle feebly. Then he felt himself pull away, and there was

a rock in his hand. He closed his fingers around it and started to lift it, but there was no

strength in his arms. He tried to twist free, but he was too weak.

"Dammit, Mik!" Something gripped his shoulders and shook him hard. His teeth

chattered.

"Ouch! Stop that!" He peered out. There was nothing except a blur at first. Then he

saw Marguerida, and everything flooded back. It was an overwhelming rush of

memory and emotion, and he retched weakly. Her breath was

warm against his cheek, and her hand on his shoulder tingled.

"Hurry!" She dragged him upright, on legs that felt like straws.

'"Hurry?"

"Did you leave your brains in the bedamned lake?" She was furious with him, and he

could not understand why. There was too much in his head, and all of it was jumbled

together.

"What happened?"

"Damned if I know, and we don't have time to discuss it now. Get a grip on yourself! I

can't carry you, and we have to hurry!"

"Why?" He knew she must be right, but he still felt dazed.

Then he heard voices, men speaking quietly, and the soft whicker of horses. They were

not in sight, but close enough. Too close. Hadn't they escaped?

Then the fear came back, so strong it nearly drove him to his knees. Mikhail shivered,

trembled, and wanted to weep.
She
was going to catch him! No! He felt a power rush

into his limbs, a combination of terror and will. His hand was trembling beneath the

ring. He felt a surge from it, bracing. His feet began to move, his legs following, and

then suddenly he was dashing across pink grass, toward a gleaming building that stood

at the top of a small rise.

He heard himself pant, and felt Marguerida beside him. Mikhail knew his legs were

moving, but he had a distinct sense that something else supported him. It was very

strong, the presence within him, and he moved quickly.

"There they are! Get them!" It was a woman's voice, sharp and authoritative, and the

sound of it nearly made him stumble. He heard Marguerida gasp and cry out.

Hoofbeats thundered, making the earth beneath his feet tremble, and he reached toward

the unseen source of his strength. It seemed to pull him along, wrenching at his heart,

dragging him forward even as his terror made him want to hesitate.

They came to the white building just as the horsemen were within a few strides of

reaching them. Mikhail glanced

quickly behind him, saw the men and the woman with them, a small, middle-aged

woman with a fixed expression. Their eyes met for only an instant, but it was enough

to make his laboring heart skip a beat. Ashara Alton, the creature he had only glimpsed

in the overworld, in the flesh. His throat went dry.

Mikhail dragged Marguerida's hand against his chest, and pushed her ahead of him.

The building appeared to be quite solid, and he could not see any entrance, but he felt

the pull of something, leading him to the right. He shoved the small of her back, urging

Marguerida forward, then moved to protect her with his body.

They raced along the round walls, the horses coming

nearer. His heart pounded against his ribs, and cold sweat

poured from his face. He could smell the heated flesh of

the animals. They were not going to make it!

*

Something boiled up in him at that moment, a sense of fury and outrage. Mikhail

turned around, and found one horseman almost upon him. There were more, crowding

at them. He roared with rage, lifted his hand without thinking, and released all his

pent-up anger in a gesture. It seemed to flow out of his heart and into his hand.

A sheet of brightness rose in front of the riders, and the animals reared and struck at it.

He could hear the screams of the horses, and could see men falling from their mounts.

There was a smell like lightning, then the stink of singed grass.

Only two riders remained, the woman and one man. The

man took one glance, and turned his horse aside. But the

woman remained, glaring with frustration as the barrier

flared in the darkness. She made a fist and raised it. "I will

not let you destroy me!" *

Mikhail turned quickly, found Marguerida staring at the woman, frozen with terror.

Her face was completely white, and her eyes were empty. Mikhail pulled at her arm,

and when she did not move, he threw her over his shoulder. She lay there limply.

Ahead he could feel the veil of the
rhu fead
only a few steps away. And above him, he

sensed the four moons conjoining. How? They had not been here long enough . . . how

long had they been immersed in the strange waters of Lake Hali? Not now, he scolded

himself! Light as she was,

Marguerida was a burden, and he forced his feet to move, almost stumbling. He could

hear the scream of Ashara behind him, but he concentrated on reaching the portal that

promised escape. The veil shimmered, and Mikhail plunged through it.

34

Cold struck him like a fist, and icy snow stung his face. The indoor robe Mikhail still

wore could not keep out the wind. In the darkness he could just make out Marguerida.

She was sitting in a drift a few feet away, looking stunned.

Mikhail dragged Marguerida to her feet. She stumbled up, then bent over and vomited

in the snow. "I hate time travel," she hissed through chattering teeth.

"Come on. We have to find some shelter."

"Where?"

"If we are back where we began, there will be an inn near the ruins of the Tower."

Mikhail hoped his assumption was correct, because he did not know what he would do

if they had ended up in another time or another place. He just hugged Marguerida

against him and started walking, keeping the wind to his back.

In just a few minutes the soft slippers he was wearing were coated with ice, and he was

colder than he had ever been in his life. His breath came in short gasps, and it was all

he could do to keep moving. Marguerida pressed against him, silent in her misery,

keeping pace by will alone. It was impossible to speak in the cold, but he heard her

thoughts.

Do you know where we are going? Or have any idea where we are?

You want the truth? No. I am assuming that the storm we dropped into is from the

Hellers, which is usual in winter, so keeping our backs to it will keep us heading south

toward Thendara.

We need help Mik. Dressed as we are, we can't go too much farther before we get

hypothermia. After all we've been through, we can't end up freezing to death

we just

can't!

For a moment he felt powerless. She was right, but he*

had no idea how to summon help when he did not even know where they were. But he

did have Varzil's matrix. All he needed to do was use it.

Before he could put this thought into action, he felt Marguerida's body tense against

his, straining as if she were reaching for something.

What are you doing?

I know there is someone nearby. I just hope it is a telepath. HELP. HELP!!!

CHIYA!
There was no mistaking Lew Alton's mental voice, even in the howling of the

wind.
Where are you?

How should I know

I can't see three feet in front of my face! I am lost in the snow

and freezing to death.
Marguerida's flare of temper was heartening. But how was

anyone going to find them in this swirling whiteness? They had to keep moving until

they were rescued, even though all he wanted to do was collapse. Every step was

agony now, the cold seemed to consume them. They were so close, but he knew they

could easily die before they were found. He ignored the familiar sense of despair, and

tried to think of some solution.

The ring! Mikhail unclenched his hand painfully. He stopped trudging and closed his

eyes, focusing on the matrix. After making contact with the starstone, he felt himself

shift into it. The wind seemed to vanish, and the cold as well. He felt Marguerida press

closer, and sensed her immediate and unquestioning understanding. He knew they

were standing in a globe of energy which kept the elements at bay, and shone like a

beacon in the night. Now, if he could only sustain it long enough for them to be found.

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