The Shadow Throne (8 page)

M
y world had blurred between dreams and reality. Imogen still lived in one world, and nothing but pain existed in the other. Because of that, I spent the greater part of each day clinging to every possible memory of her. That alone kept me alive.

One memory returned to me over and over, a moment I both cherished and hated. When I had untied Imogen from the post, her fingers had combed through my hair. Despite any indifference she had ever shown me, every word she had uttered to make me believe there was nothing but friendship between us, her touch had changed all of that. And if I could have cut off the memory there and thought nothing further, I would have done it. But it was always followed,
always
, by the image of her twisted expression when the arrow pierced her chest, and the crumpled collapse of her body before it vanished over the hill. That memory had been burned into my mind, and was worse than anything Commander Kippenger or his henchmen could do to me.

Imogen’s last words begged me to choose to live. Why couldn’t she have done the same?

Vargan had left his soldiers with the invitation to torture me at will, and I had expected it would take on the worst form they could design. At first they were cruel to me, every bone in my body knew that. But I was becoming weak from lack of food and no more responsive than a rag doll. They began interrogating me for information, and repaid my silence with total humiliation.

Kippenger even devised a game meant to entertain the simple minds of his men. He placed a single garlin on a flat, embedded rock at the top of my prison walls and ordered me to retrieve it.

I glanced up at the coin, then turned away. The distance wasn’t far — maybe double my height — but it seemed like more. Reaching the garlin while in these chains would be difficult, if not impossible, and I certainly couldn’t see the point of trying.

But Kippenger wanted to play. “Reach the coin, boy,” he said, “and I’ll let you buy your freedom with it.”

Still I didn’t move. Not until his vigil, a brute the others called Terrowic, pulled out his sword and ordered me to climb up for the coin. It hurt to rise to my feet, but I figured that sword would be worse.

The earth surrounding me was soft in some places, but there were also roots and other embedded rocks that could provide holds to help me reach the coin. I still doubted whether I could reach it — if the chains didn’t pull me down, my weaker leg would surely fail me.

After another of Terrowic’s threats, I dug my fingers into the dirt to grab a root, and made my feet climb. The instant I did, Terrowic struck the back of my legs with the broad side of his sword.

I lost my grip and fell backward to the ground. Terrowic stood over me and laughed, then Kippenger ordered me to climb again. After a few more threats I got back to my feet, but climbed no farther before Terrowic hit my legs again. This happened a third time as well, but by the fourth, I only rolled to face the walls and ignored them. Kippenger didn’t take too kindly to my refusal, but I was his prisoner, not his entertainment. I would not play these games.

Kippenger leaned over me as I lay on the ground. “They call you the Ascendant King. So climb. Rise up and get that coin.”

“Remove the chains.”

He laughed, mocking me. “Ah, but that’s just the point, isn’t it? You will never be free of those chains. You cannot reach that coin. You can’t even stand unless I allow it. If a single garlin is beyond your reach, then how can you ever reach freedom? You will never rise again.”

I turned to look at the coin once more and then closed my eyes. Maybe he was right.

By the next day, Kippenger had forgotten about the coin. But he returned with a new strategy. The same woman who had washed me a couple of days earlier came in with a bowl of soup. Kippenger followed her in and ordered me to eat it. I didn’t even look at him until he ordered two other soldiers into the room. One held a stiff rod. I readied myself for more punishment, but instead he ordered the woman to turn and lean against the wall. She gasped in fear and looked at me.

Immediately, the bowl was in my hands. “Let her leave. I’ll eat.” To prove my sincerity I took a sip. Perhaps it was only because I had become so hungry, but the soup tasted like a gift from the saints. I intended to finish it all, and if he offered more, I’d accept it.

Much as I wished things could be different for me, Imogen had been right before: I could not give up here. I had to make the choice to live.

After I began eating, Kippenger ordered the woman and soldiers to leave. Knowing what would likely come once I finished the soup, I took my time. But after I set the bowl down, he said, “You won’t eat to save yourself, but you will to save a stranger. How interesting.” He watched me a moment longer, then continued, “Back in Carthya, you have a large number of soldiers stationed on a bluff, far from any fighting, and overlooking a lake that no longer exists. Why is that?”

“You’ve asked me this already.”

“And you refused to answer. So I’m asking again. Why is your army there?”

“It should be obvious,” I said without looking at him. “They’re waiting for the lake to come back. Perhaps you could join them and go swimming.”

He kicked me in the side, adding to a bruise already there, and then crouched to face me. “Why not work with me? Why not save yourself this pain?”

“You’re not causing me any,” I replied. That wasn’t entirely true — I was still gasping, after all — but I felt better for saying it.

“If I can’t hurt you, then you force me to bring in somebody I can hurt.” He rose to his full height, and then whistled to his vigils outside. Like obedient dogs to his call, they pattered down the stairs. Only this time, they had someone else with them.

“Tobias.” He raised his head when I breathed his name and I saw the remnants of a bloody nose on his face. As good as it was to see him, my heart was already pounding. If Tobias was here, then where were Fink and Amarinda?

His eyes widened when he saw me and he shook his head in disbelief. “Jaron? You’re alive? But they said —”

“I am alive. Or something close to it.”

Kippenger’s voice became louder. “I’ll ask you again, Jaron. Why is your army on that bluff?”

I set my jaw forward, but said nothing. Kippenger used my silence as a reason to backhand Tobias with a force I knew would leave its mark. Tobias yelped in pain, then collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

The vigils grabbed his arms to lift him again, but Kippenger said, “What’s the point now? We’ll wait until he wakes up, so Jaron can hear his cries.”

They manacled Tobias to another set of chains across from me and left him with his face half buried in the cold mud. Kippenger pointed at him, warning that if I didn’t cooperate, he would do the same to Tobias as he had to Imogen.

When Kippenger and his men left, I softly called out Tobias’s name again. He only stirred at first, but I called to him once more, louder the second time.

Without opening his eyes, he whispered, “Is it safe?”

I coughed out a quiet laugh. “Of course not. You know where we are, don’t you?”

Now Tobias opened his eyes and maneuvered his way to a seated position. “How’d you know I was awake?”

“People who’ve fainted don’t peek when they think no one’s watching.” He half smiled back at me, and then, with more seriousness, I added, “You thought I was dead?”

He nodded somberly. “They’re parading your clothes around for everyone to see, ripped and covered in blood. They hope it’ll discourage your people from fighting.”

With a humph, I said, “Well, as you can plainly see, I’m not nearly as dead as Avenia claims.”

“You don’t look far from it.”

I liked his joke, but in truth, I didn’t feel far from it either.

“Were Mott and Imogen able to escape, then?”

Answering was harder than I had thought it would be, and I had to force the words out. “There’s been no word on Mott since I came. I haven’t dared ask about him. Imogen didn’t . . . isn’t . . .”

Tobias nodded and opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Whatever he was going to say, condolences, or pity, or further questions, I didn’t want any of it. So before he could change his mind, I closed my eyes to rest them and then asked, “Where are Amarinda and Fink? Please tell me they made it to Bymar.”

The silence was long enough that it forced me to look at Tobias again. He was shaking his head. “We got past the border guards without too much problem. They took most of the food, but let our driver pass through. We were almost to Isel when a group of thieves attacked the carriage. There wasn’t time to get back into the holding below, so when an opportunity came, we ran and hid near the road while our driver held them off. A group of Avenian soldiers was passing and heard the commotion. They captured a few of the thieves and our driver. The thieves told them about our having escaped, and the soldiers soon realized our carriage might have held the princess. They ordered our driver to talk, but he only expressed his allegiance to Carthya and refused to answer any further questions.”

I shook my head. Loyalty was invaluable, but amongst those soldiers, it meant that I already knew how that man’s story had ended.

Tobias continued, “That’s when the soldiers told the driver about your death. They even showed him a piece of your clothing. Amarinda and I were watching from a distance. We recognized it as the same clothes you had worn when we were last together.”

“Fink saw them too?”

“We all saw it, Jaron, and it was all any of us could do in that moment to keep from crying out. Fink even rose to attack them but I held him back.” Tobias licked his lips. “It was the worst news of my life, and no better for the others. It took several minutes after the soldiers left before Amarinda felt well enough to walk.”

“Toward Bymar?”

Again, Tobias shook his head. “I tried to persuade Amarinda to go, but she knew it wouldn’t be long before word spread of your death. She felt that Carthyans would look to the throne for leadership and that someone had to be sitting on it. So she insisted on walking back to Drylliad.”

The idea of that was insane. If the soldiers who stopped those thieves knew the princess was in Avenia, they’d turn the country inside out to search for her. And Isel was their closest escape. Retracing their steps all the way back to Carthya was far too dangerous, and I told Tobias so.

“I agree,” he protested. “But she’s the princess and I’m her servant. If she wanted to return to Carthya, I had no choice but to follow. Fink went on to Bymar, to beg them to come to Carthya’s aid.”

“What?” I exploded with anger and had to remind myself to stay quiet. “You sent him off alone?”

“He insisted he could do it. And he is Avenian, so his chances of getting past any soldiers are decent. We had no choice, Jaron.”

Maybe not, but I still didn’t like it. “How’d you get captured?” I asked him.

“She and I were asleep one night and I heard a noise in the darkness. I crept out to investigate and the soldiers found me. By the time they dragged me back to where I’d slept, she was gone, along with any trace of her trail.”

I felt terrified for what had happened to the princess since then, and by the expression on Tobias’s face, he felt the same way. The thought of what would happen if she was also captured was unbearable, made even worse since I had become so helpless here.

No more. It was time to break free from this place.

D
espite my best intentions to find an escape from the Avenian camp, the realities of our situation complicated those plans. Now that they had Tobias for leverage, their work on me intensified. Even if the opportunity for escape arose, my strength to accomplish it was dwindling. Tobias offered to help where he could, but his treatment was little better than mine, and without my cooperation, things would only get worse for him.

In the same area from where I had released Mott and Imogen, Tobias and I were questioned about the plans for the war, this time by the lumpish troll, Terrowic, and another of Kippenger’s men. It was hard enough just to be there, with a clear view of the hill where Imogen had stood only days before. I repeatedly scanned the ridge, hoping against reason to see her, and then my focus would be taken again, back for another of their endless lines of questions.

“How many soldiers have you kept in Drylliad?” Terrowic asked.

“Don’t answer that!” Tobias begged, which earned him another punch to his gut. He doubled over, choking on his breath, and I felt the same pain within me.

“Give us a number.” The smaller one who spoke had a large mole on his chin that I constantly stared at with disgust, mostly because I knew my staring bothered him. “We’ll drag it out of you if we must.”

“No, you can’t do that,” I mumbled. It wasn’t their intentions I doubted, only the reality that there was nothing in me anymore. All of that had drained out, leaving behind only the dregs of any spirit I might have had once.

“We can do more than you think,” Terrowic said. “My king has been secretly corresponding with someone I’m told you know well. A nobleman named Bevin Conner.”

“
Ex-
noble,” I muttered. And it was no secret. I’d already made the connection between Conner and Vargan.

“Conner told us about the kitchen noble in Libeth, about your armies, and your fight with the captain of your guard. So even if you don’t want to talk, we’ll still learn what we want.”

Then I wouldn’t talk. I tried turning away, but he ordered someone to get a whip.

Whether it was for me or for Tobias, I couldn’t allow it to happen. So I called him back. “My commanders will expect you to get this information from me,” I said. “They’ll change all our plans. Don’t you see how useless this is?”

“We’ll determine what’s useless.” Terrowic had half the brains of anyone else in this camp, but made up for it by doubling the strength of his hits. He was round and fleshy, so at first I had underestimated him. But no longer. The worst of everything I’d received here had come from him.

“I’m certain that you understand uselessness better than anyone,” I said. “But I’ve had enough of this. Let me talk to the commander.”

Terrowic frowned. “You can’t trick a person who sees the red rose.”

Whatever that meant. Maybe he only had a third of a brain instead. He raised his hand against Tobias again, but I yelled, “Enough! Go get him now!” He paused and I added, “Get the commander, or I’ll tell him you think his daughters look like toads.”

“I never said —”

“You did, last night. You should speak more carefully when passing my dungeon.”

Terrowic lowered his hand, then told his companion to watch over us until he and the commander returned. While Terrowic stomped away, the mole man merely stood off to one side where he could watch the women pass by with their heavy loads of washing. It didn’t seem like the most interesting view to me, but maybe that was only because I had bigger issues on my mind.

With mole man distracted, I took a deep breath, hoping it would bring me some relief. When that failed to provide anything but more worry, I turned to Tobias. “I need to smile. Tell me something not awful.”

“Now?”

“There might never be a better time.”

“Okay.” He grinned as a story came to his mind. “The first two days after we began walking back to Carthya, after hearing of your death, both Amarinda and I were miserable.”

I arched an eyebrow. “This is the worst good story I’ve ever heard.”

“Hush. It’s coming.” Tobias’s eyes glazed as he was transported to that day. “Amarinda barely spoke a word for all that time, and I had no idea what I might say to her. It rained that night, and she and I were forced to take shelter beneath some thick underbrush. It was cold and so dark we could barely see our own fingers, and the night seemed to last forever.”

“I’m beginning to wonder if you understand what ‘not awful’ means,” I muttered.

“Hush!” Tobias smiled again. “But the next morning was beautiful. It was warm and sunny, with everything brightened by the rain. Even in Avenia, it looked to be a perfect day for walking. We hunted around for anything we might find to eat. The princess saw a large bush of wild berries and, in her hunger, hurried toward it. She was so eager, in fact, that she failed to notice the ground beneath her. She tripped on an exposed root and fell directly into a thick mud patch. The more she struggled to get out, the dirtier she became. I waded in to help her but fell also. By the time we were both out, there wasn’t an inch of our bodies not covered in mud.”

I chuckled. In all my time with Amarinda, I had never seen her make the slightest ungraceful movement of her hand, much less her entire body. Since I had once commented that she had dirt on her face, the possibilities for jokes now were endless. Now that I knew she wasn’t perfect, perhaps there was a future for her and me after all.

“Did you ever get the berries?” I asked.

“Eventually.” He smiled again. “At first, we were too filthy for eating. So we walked farther off the trail until we found a pool where the night’s storm had created a vibrant waterfall. Hours seemed to pass as we stood beneath the water to get clean again, and it took some time for our clothes to dry. Then we ate.”

I lost my smile and clicked my tongue, but he quickly shook his head. “Forgive the way that sounded. It wasn’t what you’re thinking.”

He started to say more, but by then Terrowic had returned with Commander Kippenger, who didn’t look at all pleased to be summoned here.

“We need a place to talk,” I said. “Privately.”

“Why not here?”

I glanced around and rolled my eyes toward Tobias and Kippenger’s men. “Because it’s not private, obviously.” He started to turn away, but I added, “I’ll give you what you want. But only if it’s just you and me.”

“No!” Tobias said. “Jaron, what are you doing?”

“Saving your life.” I turned back to Kippenger. “Well?”

He nodded at Terrowic and mole man. “One of you, take Jaron’s friend back to the dungeon. The other will wait here while this boy king and I talk.”

Tobias yelled my name as they unchained him, but I wouldn’t even look at him. He didn’t have to understand my decisions, or like them; they were my decisions to make.

It was much later that evening when Terrowic brought me back to the dungeon. My time with Kippenger hadn’t gone as well as I had hoped, and by then, I was exhausted and ached so badly that I couldn’t even sit up while he rechained me. Tobias begged for some soup for me, but Terrowic refused him. It didn’t matter. I didn’t have the strength to eat it anyway.

“While he’s held captive, you’re responsible for his life,” Tobias protested. “He’s entitled to some basic decency.”

“He’s entitled to nothing,” Terrowic replied. “If your king wanted basic decency, he should have included that in his bargain.”

“What bargain did he make?” Tobias turned to me. “Jaron, what bargain?”

“I told them everything.” It took all my willpower to force myself to a seated position. “Well, almost everything. I gave them enough to negotiate your release. When I see you safely away in the morning, I’ll tell them the rest.”

“No! Jaron, you didn’t!”

“What else am I supposed to do?” I yelled back. “Watch as they punish you for my silence? They’ll eventually get me to talk anyway, but you’ll be dead by then. At least this way, you’ll live.”

“And what about you?” he asked.

“They won’t let me go,” I whispered. “You know that. Not at any price.”

The reality of that was overwhelming, and I slumped against the cold rock wall. He looked me over with an expression of sympathy that I hated more than if he’d felt disappointment in me, or even anger. I turned away from him, but that didn’t protect me from the wretched feeling of being pitied.

“Tell me you’re not broken,” he said. “I know it must feel that way, but you can rise from this.”

“How would you know?” I snapped. “Do you bear the weight of an entire kingdom on your shoulders? Has an enemy country focused all its resources on destroying you?”

“No.”

“And did they take someone you love?”

“No, she’s —” Then Tobias caught himself and immediately switched. “Jaron, did you love Imogen?”

If he hoped for a confession, he wouldn’t get it. I rolled toward the wall and closed my eyes. “I loved everyone who’s been taken from me. So don’t tell me when I’m allowed to break.”