The Shepherd's Voice (20 page)

Gabe straightened. He placed his fingers in the small of his back and arched. Then he saw her. He smiled and waved. Heart fluttering in response, she pushed off from the barn and walked toward him.

“How’s it coming?”

“Zach thinks we’ll be done before the rain comes.” He wiped his brow with his forearm. “You finished in the kitchen?”

“Not quite. Mrs. Wickham’s taking a rest, then we’ll do the last batch.” She looked at Zachary and George. “Will you eat with us before you leave?”

“That’s kind of you, Mrs. Talmadge,” George answered, “but I promised the missus I’d be home for supper.”

“And I’ve got chores awaitin’ me,” Zachary added.

The wind whipped up, causing a dirt devil to whirl across the yard. All three men glanced upward.

“We’d best hurry,” Zachary advised.

Akira took that as her cue to leave them to their work.

Walking back to the house, she hummed softly to herself. She was nearly to the porch before she realized it was the same sort of melody Gabe hummed each morning.

“And they shall be one flesh,” she quoted softly. She stopped and looked at the stormy sky. “It means so much more than the intimacy of the marriage bed, doesn’t it? It means we think alike and act alike, that our lives are tied irrevocably together. What an amazing thing it is, Lord.”

She smiled, tipping her head back farther while holding out her arms. The first raindrops struck her face. She closed her eyes.

“I never knew I could be this happy. How kind You are to me, Your unworthy servant.”

The rain fell in relentless sheets, driven by a mournful-sounding wind.

By the time Gabe bid Zachary and George a good evening and saw them headed back to their own farms, he was soaked clear through to the skin. He stood on the front porch and watched the dusty barnyard turn to a muddy mush.

“You’d better peel out of those wet things,” Akira said from the doorway, “before you catch your death.”

He turned toward her.
I wonder if I’ll ever get used to somebody caring whether I’m warm and dry.

“Come on. Your supper’s waiting.”

“Is Mrs. Wickham joining us?”

“No. She went back to her cabin. Said she was going straight to bed. I hope she isn’t getting sick again.”

Gabe sat on the chair inside the doorway. He removed his boots and set them on an old newspaper. “She’s probably wore out. The two of you put in a mighty long day.” He stood again.

“No more than you.” Akira lifted a kettle off the stove. “You’ll want to wash up.” She walked into the bedroom.

Gabe followed her there, watching as she filled the wash basin with hot water, steam rising like smoke from a campfire.

“You’d better hurry out of those wet clothes,” she said in a raised voice, apparently not knowing he was in the room with her. “You must be starved.”

“Ravenous.”

She turned, a flush warming her cheeks, her eyes bright with surprise.

“You spoil me,” he said, his voice low.

“It’s my pleasure to spoil you, Gabriel.”

He liked it when she called him that.

“Gabriel,” she whispered, her gaze unwavering and filled with trust. “A strong man of God.”

Her belief in him was daunting. He wasn’t sure he could live up to her expectations. After all, who was he to deserve her trust?

“God looks on the heart,” she said, as if reading his thoughts. “He’ll provide what you need. He’s changing you from glory to glory, into the very image of Christ our Lord.”

“Is your faith ever shaken, Akira?”

The look she gave him was a tender one. “Of course it is. I’ve questioned the Almighty. Sometimes I’m like a petulant child. But He’s patient with me, and if I wait on Him, He always shows me the way, even if He doesn’t show me the why.”

“I can’t imagine you being petulant. I think you’re wonderful in every way.”

The blush returned to her cheeks. Her gaze dropped to the floor. “Thanks.”

He paid her too few compliments he realized as he watched her hurry from the room. She meant so much to him, yet he’d never told her how he felt.

Why not? he wondered. Why couldn’t he put into words the feelings in his heart?

In the kitchen, Akira placed the kettle back on the stove, then pressed her cool hands to her overheated cheeks.

I think you’re wonderful in every way

Her heart trilled as Gabe’s words replayed in her mind.

“I love him, Lord,” she whispered. “And I desperately want him to love me too. Is it possible he might? Please let it happen. Please.”

She heard Cam’s toenails clicking on the floor as the collie
crossed the room to stand near the front door. A moment later, the dog growled a warning. Then a knock sounded. Akira went to answer it.

Sheriff Andrew Newton, a stocky man in his midthirties, stood on the other side of the screen. Although he’d lived in Ransom only a few years, Andy—as he was better known—had become a trusted and well-liked member of the community.

“Evenin’, Miss Macauley,” he said, almost apologetically, removing his hat as he spoke.

Something tightened in her belly. “It’s Mrs. Talmadge.” She pushed the screen door open with her left hand. “Come in, Sheriff. It’s a bit chilly out this evening.”

“Thanks.” He stepped inside. “Is your … husband at home?”

“Yes. He’s washing up for supper.”

Andy glanced toward the kitchen table, then back at Akira. “I need to speak to him for a minute or two.”

“I’ll get him for you.”

“No need,” Gabe said from the bedroom doorway. “I’m here.” He strode forward, his face an expressionless mask. “What can I do for you, Sheriff?” He didn’t offer his hand.

Andy ran his fingers along his hat brim. “Maybe we should step outside onto the porch.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Akira said before Gabe had a chance. She quickly moved to stand beside him.

The sheriff cleared his throat. “It’s about your parole.”

“My parole?”

“I understand it was discharged by the commission.”

“Yes.” Gabe paused, then softly added, “More than two years ago.”

Andy glanced toward Akira, then back at Gabe. He moistened
his lips with his tongue. “I’m afraid there’s some question about whether the timing was … appropriate.”

“Appropriate?” Gabe’s tone was flat and emotionless.

Akira took hold of his arm. “What does this mean?” she asked, addressing her question to the sheriff.

“Not much really. I need Mr. Talmadge to check in once a month. There’s a bit of paperwork to complete. It’s all pretty routine.”

“But it’s not routine two years after a parole’s been discharged,” Gabe said. “Is it, Sheriff?”

An uncomfortable silence preceded the man’s reply. “No. No, it isn’t routine.”

“Is my father behind this?”

Andy’s mouth thinned into a straight line. His silence was answer enough.

“Can he do that?” Akira demanded of Gabe. When her husband didn’t answer, she turned toward the sheriff. “Can he do that to Gabe?”

Andy shook his head. “I can’t say if Mr. Talmadge had anything to do with it or not, ma’am.”

He
could n’t
say. He hadn’t said he didn’t know. Only that he couldn’t say.

“It’s not right.” Her voice rose in anger. “It isn’t fair.”

It was Gabe’s turn to take hold of her arm. “Don’t, Akira. What’s done is done. Sheriff, I’ll be in your office on Monday to take care of the paperwork.”

“Thanks, Mr. Talmadge. I’m sorry for the mix-up.”

It was no mix-up, and everyone in the room knew it.

Gabe followed the sheriff outside.

Why
,
Lord? This isn’t fair. It isn’t right. Shouldn’t right prevail?

Isn’t there something we can do to stop this injustice? Gabe doesn’t deserve this to happen. Not now. Not when he’s come so far.

As if in answer to her prayer, she recalled her own words from a short while before:
He always shows me the way
,
even if He doesn’t show me the why.

A door slammed. An engine roared to life, then slipped into gear. Above the sounds of the rain, she heard the sheriff’s car drive away.

“Show us the way, Lord,” she said aloud, “even if You don’t show us the why.” She released a deep sigh. “Except right now, I really would like to know why.”

FOURTEEN

Why
,
Lord?

The question echoed in Akira’s mind again and again, but she received no answer. Not the night the sheriff came. Not the next day. Not now.

She glanced at Gabe, seated beside her in the wagon. He rode with his arms resting on his thighs, the reins looped loosely through his fingers. By all appearances, this was an ordinary trip into Ransom, but both of them knew it was not.

Why
,
Lord? Why now? He’s made his peace with You. Why are You allowing this to happen to the man I love?

She was angry at the injustice of it all. She was furious that a man like Hudson could manipulate the legal system in order to harm others, in order to harm his own son. It wasn’t fair. Gabe’s stoic acceptance of the situation only made it seem worse.

I’m angry
,
God. You shouldn’t have let this happen to him. You shouldn’t have let it happen to us.

She gasped softly, shocked to discover it was God Himself with whom she was angry.

Gabe frowned at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head.

He looked back at the road. “You should’ve stayed home.”

She didn’t reply, and they fell into silence once again.

I’ve never been angry at God. I’ve always believed He knew best. What’s wrong with me? Where’s my faith?

She shivered, suddenly chilled.

Father?

She couldn’t feel His presence.

Lord?

There was only silence in her heart.