The Sheriff Wears Pants (10 page)

“We are going to discuss this
reasonably
, Darshana Elizabeth Hamilton.  I am
trying
to be
patient
, but those pants and that gun belt are
not
making that likely.  Either you go and change,
or else
!”  He gave her one last chance!

“Will, I explained to you why I am dressed this way.  Please stop giving me grief.  I am not going to wear a dress until the town kicks me out of office.”

Will rolled his dark eyes heavenward in one last attempt to control his temper.  “Okay.”  Will grabbed her and two seconds later, her gun belt was lying on the floor. “No, Will!  I mean it.”  She tried to flip him as she had the outlaw in the store, but it didn’t work.  Instead, Will picked her up and carried her over to the settee, where he took a seat, and then dropped her over his knee.  “No, don’t you
dare
!” she yelled, positive she knew what he intended to do, and equally positive she didn’t want him to do it!

“I dare.  You need to listen to me, you stubborn little redhead!  And the only way I know to get your attention is to turn your butt red.”  Will had to admit that she had a lot less padding covering her posterior this time.  He smacked her rounded bottom and was surprised at the exclamation out of her mouth.  “Talk like that is going to get your mouth soaped, little girl!” he warned, spanking her again.

“But, it hurts!” she squealed as he continued to mete out a spanking that hurt like the very devil.  “Stop!  Stop!”

“There is no way I am going to stop, Darcy.  You need this spanking in the worst way and I’m surprised Miss Eleanor didn’t send for me to administer it.  This Sheriff thing is ridiculous.  You are going to get yourself killed if you aren’t careful!”

“I’m planning to be careful!” she yelled as his hand slid down to spank her sit spots.  This spanking was so much worse than the other one!  She wished she had on a dress and all of her petticoats.  It would still hurt, but not as much, she reasoned. 

“How is dressing in men’s pants that show every detail of your pretty backside going to keep you out of trouble, Darcy?  When men see you dressed like that I am sure they’re going to get ideas.”

“Cassie Martin never has trouble.”

There was that name again, and Will growled!  If Darcy thought for one minute that he was going to permit her to act like Cassie, then she’d best think again!  All that acting like Cassie Martin would accomplish was to get her seat soundly spanked every time she turned around!  “Yes she does have trouble, all of the time, in fact, I’ve tossed two men into a jail cell because they tried to rape her.  She needs her behind spanked just as much as you do.”

“Ow!  Stop, Will!  I
need
to wear pants because I can’t fight in a dress.  Don’t be silly, Will!  Ow.  Ow!  Ow!  You are hurting me!” she cried out.

“That is the whole purpose of this exercise.”

“I am going to arrest you and toss you in jail,” she threatened only to have him snort in a dismissive manner.  “I mean it, damn you!”  How she would accomplish it, she didn’t know, but she was going to do it!

“I mean this, too!”  He hoped her butt was stinging as much as his hand.  Maybe he was going to need to see Barney and buy a good sturdy hairbrush that would make a serious impression on her backside.  “Are you ready to listen to me?”

“No!  I’m ready to arrest you, and don’t think I won’t do it, too!”

There was a thin volume of poetry lying on the coffee table.  Will picked it up and started spanking Darcy with it.  The book accomplished what his hand couldn’t, or else his hand created such a fire that she was already near tears and he had no idea.  He continued to paddle her with the book until she was sobbing.  “Now then, are you ready to listen to me?” he asked a second time.

“Yes!” she whispered.

“Good.”  He gently picked her up and then sat her on his lap, ignoring her hiss of pain.  “You are my fiancée, Darcy, and I love you more than life.  I am going to give you some rules that I expect you to obey.  If you don’t obey me, I’m going to buy a hairbrush and use it on you until you promise not to disobey me again.  Hear me so far?”

“Yes.”

“Good.  These rules aren’t to be mean to you, honey, but to protect you from any crazed killer who will hear that Cactus Hill has a lady sheriff.  First of all, you don’t go on any calls by yourself.  You never know what you’ll find.  Second of all, do not let some idiot goad you into a gunfight.  You aren’t fast with your gun.  Three, if you do get into a situation, don’t make waves, and don’t try to fight your way out of it unless you have no choice.  I will come and rescue you.  Four, do not wear these pants.  They give me ideas, and I don’t want any man thinking of you in those terms.”

“I am the Sheriff, and I will set my own rules.  Whoever I hire as a deputy will help with the tough stuff.”

“I am acting Deputy,” Will informed her.

“No you aren’t.  I haven’t decided whom I am going to hire, but if I hire you,
you
will be the one in charge, and that defeats the whole purpose of
my
being elected.  I am going to do this job to the best of my ability… until the town throws a fit and says enough.” 

“I can see I am going to need to go and see Barney and pick out a sturdy hairbrush.”

“If you spank me again, I promise I will arrest you and throw you in jail.  Won’t Waldo enjoy writing about that?” she threatened, knowing full well she would shoot Waldo if he printed that.

There was a scream from the back of the house and Will was on his feet and running before Darcy realized that it was her job to investigate and took off after him, running as fast as she could, but still not catching the big man.

“What’s wrong?”  Darcy heard Will ask before she reached the room.

“It’s Malachi!”  Louisa sobbed against Will as he comforted her.  “He’s found me!”

“What has happened?”  Eleanor asked worriedly, holding onto the doorframe with one hand and holding a pistol in the other.

“Gram, where is your wheelchair?”  Darcy asked, shocked to see the elderly woman on her feet.   She took her arm to steady her.

“I wanted to get here as fast as I could,” Eleanor explained, but she gratefully sat on the chair that Will carried across Louisa’s room for her to sit upon.

“Oh, Miss Eleanor, I am here to take care of you, not for you to take care of me!”  Louisa sobbed, kneeling on the floor in front of the elderly woman.

“Don’t cry, dear.  You know we consider you family.”  Eleanor placed her hand on Louisa’s shoulder, offering comfort.  “Please tell us who this Malachi person is so that we may deal with him.”  Eleanor was shaking from the effort of walking so far.  She normally walked a bit in her bedroom, but the rest of the time, she used her wheelchair so that her legs didn’t give out from the effort of walking, but that scream spelled trouble, and she wasn’t one to do nothing if her household was threatened.

“Oh, Miss Eleanor, I don’t want you to think badly of me.  We were very poor when I grew up, and I knew that if I married, there would be more food for the others.  Malachi seemed like a nice boy, so I married him when I was fifteen and he was eighteen.  I didn’t find out for five years that he was supporting us by stealing from others.  By then he was slapping me around, and furious that I wasn’t with child.  I regretted marrying him, but I couldn’t go home.  When I learned the truth about Malachi, I went to the police and turned him in.  I didn’t know it then, but there were several rewards for information about the robberies.  I received enough money to support myself while I went to nursing school. 

“Malachi swore he would kill me, but I thought that he would calm down in eight years.  He didn’t.  He kept sending me hate-filled letters, outlining all of the horrid things he intended to do to me when he got out.  I divorced him while he was in prison.  I couldn’t bear the thought of staying married to him.  He went wild in prison when he received the divorce papers, and they put him in solitaire for two weeks to keep him from killing someone in a fit of temper.  I was getting ready to lie down for a moment or two while you were resting, Miss Eleanor, when I glanced up and saw him in my window!  I came here with a different name, hoping to hide from Malachi, when I heard he was released from prison.  The Warden wrote to me, warning me that Malachi was still swearing revenge… but there was nothing he could do.  Malachi served every last day of his sentence, and the six months extra he earned for hitting a guard when he first arrived, and the Warden had to release him.  I don’t know how he found me so quickly.  Doctor and Mrs. English were the only ones who knew my new name, and that I was working for Doctor Grayson to take care of you, Miss Eleanor.  I’m so sorry I frightened you by screaming, but I am terrified of him.”

“I’ll go and see if I can find him.  You ladies stay right here in this house,” Will ordered, reacting normally.

“No.  I am Sheriff now, and it is my job to find this Malachi person.”

“Do you honestly think I’m going to permit you to go after someone dangerous, little girl?  Now stay inside this house or I swear I will paddle you again.”  Will stomped off after giving Darcy a warning look.

“My goodness, Darshana!  Did Will spank you
again
?”  Eleanor asked.

“Gram, I don’t want to discuss my blazing backside!  Will just doesn’t understand how I feel, and he thinks that manhandling me is going to get me to obey him when I can’t.  I have to show some respect to the voters who thought me good enough to be Sheriff.  Now, to that end….  Gram, will you stay right here with Louisa, please.  Shoot to kill if anyone you don’t know comes popping through the door or the window.  You do have bullets in your gun, don’t you?”  Darcy asked, all business.

“Yes, this gun is loaded, and I might be old, but I haven’t forgotten how to use it if necessary.”

“I believe in you, Gram.  I’ll be back soon.  I hope I find that lowlife and can send him back to prison for harassing you, Louisa.”  Darcy took off running, anxious to find Malachi and lock him up so that he couldn’t harm Louisa.  Even with that worry, she still had to smile at her dear Gram for showing her feisty side.  How many times had she heard her say, “Even a lady can have a feisty side when necessary, Darshana.”

It was sheer luck that brought Darcy to the livery stable in town just in time to see a strange man trying to get a place for his mount for the night.  She pulled her gun and approached quietly.  “Malachi?” she called, and the man turned, surprise on his features.  “I’m Sheriff Hamilton, and you are under arrest.”

“For what?  I haven’t broken any laws, lady.”

“That’s what you say, but you have earned at least a night or two in jail for frightening the nurse who cares for my grandmother.”

“I’m not going to spend another minute of my life in a cell, bitch.”  Malachi’s black eyes glittered with rage, and his fists were balled into fists.

“I’m not a bitch, and you
are
going to jail.  Take off your gun belt.”  Darcy wasn’t about to show fear in front of this man.  He was dangerous, and he belonged behind bars.

“You ain’t putting me in jail.  Back off or I’ll shoot you dead.”

“I have my gun in my hand, and I will use it if you attempt to go for your gun.”  The next second or two was a blur to Darcy.  Malachi went for his gun with a practiced quick draw!  A gun fired, and Malachi spun around, grabbing his shoulder, and falling to his knees.  He dropped his weapon from fingers that were bloody, and let out a cry of pain.

“You’re going to jail for attempted murder,” Will told the groaning man.  “Get to your feet and start walking toward town. 

Malachi struggled to get to his feet, openly weeping, even as he cursed Darcy.  “This is all your fault, bitch!”  He staggered backwards when Will backhanded him across his mouth.

“My fiancée is not a bitch, and you will keep a civil tongue in your head when you address her.  Is that understood or do I need to make it clearer?”

“You come, too, Darcy.  You and I are going to have a serious talk.”  Will was furious with his fiancée, and he was going to make that fact clear on her backside.  She didn’t have a clue how fast Malachi Jones was with a gun, but he did.  He’d heard of the man.  One of the guards at the prison seemed to enjoy tormenting Jones, and one day Malachi snapped and before they could pull him off the guard, Malachi had nearly killed him.  If one of the other guards hadn’t testified that the guard was tormenting Malachi, he would have been in prison for the rest of his life instead of doing an extra six months!  Malachi Jones was fearless and wouldn’t back down from a pointed gun, especially one held by such a tiny woman.  If he’d been two seconds later checking the livery, his Darcy would be dead!  He wasn’t going to put up with her getting into situations she couldn’t handle.

Darcy thought the walk to the jail was too short, but she was no coward.  She needed to set Will straight and give him to understand that she was now the Sheriff!  He was going to need to hand over the badge immediately and let her go about her business without his interference.  He might not think her capable of the job, but he had no legal right to arrest anyone at the moment!  She was legally the Sheriff, and he wasn’t even a Deputy until he was sworn in, and she didn’t know if she was going to do that after today!  Darcy watched as he threw Malachi into a cell, and then turned to look at her, his dark eyes expressing his outrage at her behavior.