The Shocking Secret of a Guest at the Wedding (Millworth Manor) (36 page)

“But—”

“For once, just for once, simply smile and agree with me.”

She stared at him, then sighed and smiled. “Very well then.”

“I knew you could do it if you tried.” He grinned.

“Well, it’s not easy.”

“It’s not supposed to be.” He pulled her slightly closer and smiled into her eyes. “After all, where would be the challenge in that? Or the adventure?”

 

 

“. . . and there you have it.” Jack stood at the head of the table, his father on one side, Teddy on the other. “Lady Theodosia and I were never actually engaged.”

Teddy held her breath. The entire family had gathered around the dining room table. The twins, Grayson, Sam, and Lionel as well as Lord and Lady Briston, Jack’s mother and grandfather along with Teddy’s mother and Mr. Lockwood all stared in stunned silence. The expressions on their faces ranged from shock to acceptance. Dee, Lucy, and the colonel simply kept their mouths shut.

“How very . . . heroic of you, Jack,” Camille said at last.

“Admittedly it’s rather extreme simply to save someone from an awkward situation,” Beryl said. “But no less gallant for the absurdity of it. It’s quite impressive when one thinks about it.”

“I can’t say I’m not disappointed.” Lady Briston sighed at Teddy. “I was quite looking forward to having you as a member of the family.”

Teddy glanced at her mother. “Mother?”

“I . . .” Mother hesitated, then drew a deep breath. “I owe you my apologies, Theodosia. I should never have put you in such a position. I am truly sorry.”

Teddy swallowed hard. “Thank you, Mother.”

Almost at once everyone launched into their own opinions and for a minute the air was filled with expressions of surprise or disappointment

“One moment if you please.” Jack’s mother stood up. “I have something to say to my son.”

Jack’s brow rose. “Yes?”

“What do you mean? You’re not going to marry this woman?” Mrs. Channing glared at him. “Feigned engagement or not, and, as much I might hate to admit it, she is so obviously perfect for you. Do not make the same mistakes I did of disregarding something simply because it’s completely unexpected. You belong together.” She glanced at Lucy. “It’s no more than the truth, Lucinda. Why, anyone can see it. I am sorry but there you have it.”

“Poor, poor me.” Lucy grinned, then sobered. Her gaze shifted between Jack and Teddy. “She’s right, you know.”

“Thank you, Lucy.” Jack nodded. “Sit down, Mother.”

“But—”

“Sit down, please. There’s more.”

The colonel frowned. “More?”

“Yes, Father.” Jack drew a deep breath. “When I came to England I had no intention of staying. I had simply thought it was the opportunity to get to know my father and meet the rest of my family. I felt quite out of place here at first. All that has changed.”

Lord Briston beamed. “Excellent.”

“In the beginning, I assumed I would return to New York to resume my position at the bank.” He looked at his grandfather. “I am sorry, Grandfather, but that is no longer my intent.”

“Not a surprise to me,” Mr. Graham said gruffly. “I never thought banking was really in your blood.”

“I’m glad you understand.”

The older gentleman shrugged.

“As for the rest of it.” Jack turned to Lord Briston. “I understand the way this sort of thing, inheritance and titles and the like, works in this country. That, regardless of any decision I make, I will someday be the Earl of Briston. The question is do I want to accept all that goes along with it.” He glanced at Lionel. “I’m not under any obligation to take on the responsibilities of the earldom, am I?”

Surprise washed around the room. The colonel winced. A startled expression crossed Lionel’s face. “No, I suppose you’re not.”

“I could conceivably return to America, live the rest of my life there, and have nothing to do with Millworth or Parliament or any of it?”

“I’ve never considered that before.” Lionel nodded. “But yes.”

Lord Briston’s brow furrowed. “Now see here, Jack—”

“Wait, Uncle.” Jack held up a hand to quiet the older man. “I’m not saying that’s my intention but my life, even how I see myself, has changed enormously in the last few months. I feel as though I have barely begun to live and I’m not ready to decide how I want to spend the rest of my days.”

“Nonetheless, Jack,” his uncle began.

“Uncle Nigel,” Jack said. “Do you intend to die anytime soon?”

Lord Briston huffed. “I do not intend to die at all although I suspect I cannot avoid it forever.”

“I wish you a long and happy life, Uncle.” He turned to the colonel. “Father, you look like a healthy sort. How do you feel?”

His father chuckled. “Never better, Jack.”

“Well then, as both of you would have to depart this world before I would inherit the title, it seems to me any decision on my part would be premature and completely unnecessary. Besides, I’m tired of having my entire future planned and plotted and expected.”

Delilah stared. “What do you intend to do?”

“Actually,” He glanced at his mother. “It was something you pointed out, although the idea has been growing for some time. I intend to travel the world. I intend to see all those places and try all those things I wanted to do and see as a boy.” He grinned. “I intend to follow in my father’s footsteps.”

His mother stared in disbelief.

The colonel leaned closer to her and lowered his voice. “I would strongly suggest, Betty, that you force a brave smile to your face and graciously accept the inevitable.”

Mrs. Channing hesitated, then nodded and smiled weakly.

Jack turned to Teddy. “What do you say, Teddy? Come with me? See the world?”

She stared at him for a moment, then laughed. “I knew you weren’t really a banker.”

“We’ll have grand adventures, see things not everyone does, go places most people only dream of going. We’ll spend five weeks in a balloon or make it around the world in eighty days. Or less.” He grinned. “Carpe diem, Teddy.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. “Venture into the unknown. Marry me.”

“Jack.” She stared up at him and for a moment she could see a future with him as well as a future without him. Neither was perfect. Both came with regrets. She braced herself. “No.”

He paused. “No?”

“No.”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean—no?”

“I mean . . . no.” She shook her head. “I can’t.”

“But I love you and you love me.”

“I never said I loved you.” She lowered her voice. “You should probably release me now. Everyone is staring.” The room had indeed quieted as if those present were holding their breath.

“I don’t care,” he said but released her nonetheless. “And you didn’t need to say it.”

“It wasn’t real, Jack, remember,” she said firmly. “The engagement, none of it was real.”

“Not the engagement perhaps but this is real.” He gripped her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “You love me.”

“Goodness, Jack I . . .”

“You are a stubborn creature, Theodosia Winslow, and you may deny it all you wish but I know. I see it in the look in your eyes and the touch of your hand. I feel it in the strength of your trust and the depth of your concern. I know it as I have never known anything before.” He took her hand and pressed it to his chest and his heart beat beneath her fingers. “I know it in my heart, in my very soul, and you know it too.”

She stared up at him. Not so much as a glimmer of doubt shone in his eyes. And it destroyed her. “Yes, God help me, I do. Of course, I do.” She shook her head. “But I never intended for you to know that. I thought it would be better, easier for you, if you didn’t know how I felt.”

“You thought thinking you didn’t love me, that you didn’t share my feelings, would make things easier?” Disbelief rang in his voice. He dropped her hand and an aching sense of loss swept through her.

“Obviously, nothing will make this easier. But loving you . . .” Her voice cracked. “Apparently I’m not very good at hiding my feelings but then I’ve never truly been in love before.”

“And you are now.”

“It doesn’t matter, Jack. It only makes this harder.” Her gaze searched his. “Don’t you see that?”

“No, I don’t.” His gaze bored into hers. “If you love me—”

“And I do.” She nodded. “Truly I do. But—”

“But you have plans for your life.”

“You know full well I do.” She glanced at the others watching them closely. “Perhaps this would be best discussed in private.”

“Oh, don’t mind us,” Dee said. “Pretend we’re not here.”

Jack ignored her and glared down at Teddy. “And those plans do not include me.”

“No, they don’t.” She’d seen him annoyed but she’d never seen him angry before. And angry was exactly what he was. Angry and hurt. It showed in the hard line of his jaw, the tense set of his shoulders, and the look in his eyes. “You are the heir to Millworth Manor and a title and exactly the kind of man I always expected I would wed. The kind I was supposed to marry. In that, it seems I have come full circle.” She forced herself to continue. “It also seems it’s no longer what I want. Odd how quickly life changes.”

“So,” he said, his tone measured, his gaze never veering from hers. “You are choosing your . . . your pursuit of business over a life with me?”

“Good Lord.” Mother groaned.

“No, I’m choosing to pursue my own . . . well, my own challenge if you will. My own adventure.”

“I’m offering you adventure. The kind of adventure you’ve always wanted.”

“I’ve always thought love a grand adventure,” her mother said in a soft, hopeful voice.

Teddy shook her head. “But it’s your adventure, not mine.”

“It can be ours.” The firm note in his voice did nothing to dim the growing realization in his eyes.

“I have plans—”

“Good God, Theodosia, plans, expectations change with circumstances or desire. My plans certainly have, for my life, for my future.”

She struggled against the lump that lodged in her throat. “Mine haven’t.” Her gaze searched his. “You of all people should understand.”

“I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of it.” He glared down at her. “You’ve admitted you love me and I’ve declared my love for you. That should be the end of any debate. We should be planning a life together. It seems to me when two people find each other, against all odds that they would even meet, mind you, they would be fools to throw it away.”

“Then I must be a fool.” She drew a deep breath. “All my life I have lived up to the expectations set out for me. None of which, by the way, I had any say in. You’re exactly the same, Jack. You followed all the rules, met all the expectations. Now you intend to pursue a completely different path. You intend to do what you’ve always wanted to do, be who you’ve always wanted to be but never had the courage. Is it so hard to understand why I would wish to do the same?”

His voice softened. “You have nothing to prove, you know.”

“One could say the same about you.”

“She’s got him there,” Beryl murmured.

Jack scoffed. “That’s an entirely different matter.”

“Why?” she said sharply. “Because you’re a man?”

His jaw clenched. “Exactly!”

“Even I know better than to say that,” Sam said under his breath.

“Come now, Jack, you said yourself that you knew any number of women who successfully manage businesses.”

“I said they rise to the occasion of their circumstances. I never said they were successful.”

“It was implied,” she said sharply.

“Nonetheless.” His tone hardened. “I do think women in business is unseemly, I don’t think they should be allowed in the Explorers Club, nor do I think they should vote!”

One of the ladies gasped.

“I don’t believe you for a moment.” Teddy glared. “I know you, Jackson Channing, you’re just saying that to . . . to annoy me!”

“Furthermore.” His jaw clenched. “Those women of business had no choice. They had to take care of themselves. You have a choice.”

She stared in surprise. “To allow you to take care of me?”

“It’s what men do.”

“Well, I don’t want to be taken care of, thank you very much. I’ve been taken care of my entire life. Indeed, I expected I would be taken care of for the rest of my life. But as you said—plans change.”

“Brava,” Lucy said quietly.

“I would never ask you to give up what you want,” Teddy continued. “Is it right for you to ask me to give up what I want? Is it fair?”

“Yes!” he snapped.

“Ouch.” Grayson winced.

“You don’t mean that. You’re nothing if not fair.” She grabbed his arm, a desperation she couldn’t hide in her voice. “Think about it, Jack. Please. Can you be happy if I’m not? If your happiness comes at the expense of mine?”

He stared at her for a long moment. “How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long will it take you to prove what you need to prove?”

“How on earth would I know? I have no particular deadline.” She released his arm and stepped back. “What do you want me to say? If I’m not successful in a year, two years, five years, that I’ll give up and meekly become your wife?”

He scoffed. “I don’t expect you to do anything meekly.”

“Good! I would hate to shatter your expectations!” She glared. “Let me ask you the same question. How long will it take you to decide how you want to spend the rest of your life? One year, ten,
thirty
?”

The colonel grimaced. “Poor form, Theodosia.”

“I’ve already decided! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Which does seem a rather significant decision.” Jack shook his head slowly. “But I won’t wait for you.”

Indignation washed through her. “Nor did I ask you to.”

“I will love you forever, Theodosia Winslow.” His gaze locked on hers. “But make no mistake, I am not my father. I will not waste thirty years of my life waiting for you to come to your senses.”