The Shocking Secret of a Guest at the Wedding (Millworth Manor) (35 page)

“Not yet.” He smiled. “I had a confession, remember?”

“I have always been fond of your confessions.” She tilted her head and studied him. “It was something about a mistake, wasn’t it?”

“A huge mistake.” He bent down, reached under the tree, and picked up a small, black velvet box tied with a red ribbon. He handed it to her. “Which is why I wanted to give it to you in private.”

“You don’t want to wait until tomorrow? When everyone can see what a huge mistake you made and we can begin to disagree and start our journey toward ending our engagement?”

He hesitated. “No, I want you to have it now.”

“Very well.” She pulled off the ribbon and slowly opened the box. A small, delicate pendant on a gold chain lay nestled in the box. She sucked in a sharp breath. “Oh my, Jack.” She looked up at him. “It’s a peacock.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“It’s . . .” The pendant was no bigger than the last two joints of her little finger and perfectly proportioned. The peacock’s body was gold filigree, its sweeping tail feathers encrusted with pearls and sapphires. “It’s exquisite.”

“I am sorry.” He shook his head in feigned regret. “I tried to find something repulsive with feathers and almost purchased a truly revolting hat.” He shuddered. “But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So I thought a peacock, with all its feathers intact, might vanquish the image of an angry, naked bird. I am sorry. I did try to get something you would hate.”

“In that you failed. I love it, Jack.” She stared at the peacock in her hand. “It’s perfect.”

“We shall have to come up with another way to show everyone how mismatched we are,” he said slowly.

“Yes, we will,” she murmured.

“Theodosia.”

She raised her gaze to his.

“A minute ago, it sounded like you were saying good-bye.”

“Don’t be silly.” She forced a smile. “We have a week until the ball. We certainly have time to come up with another idea for dissolving our engagement. I would hate to ruin everyone’s Christmas.” She glanced at the pendant. “Will you help me put this on?”

“Of course.”

She handed him the pendant and turned around. He fastened it around her neck, his fingers barely brushing her skin.

She turned back to him. “How does it look?”

He stared into her eyes. “Perfect.”

The moment between them stretched. Lengthened. Endless. Forever. And she realized what she hadn’t wanted to think about, what she hadn’t wanted to face.

She drew a deep breath and the moment shattered. “I wanted to give you something as well.” She stepped around the tree and found the small package she had hidden. “It’s just something I thought you might like.”

He opened it and stared.

“It’s the scarab your father gave me when I was a girl. I thought since it was a keepsake from his travels that perhaps you might like to have it.”

“Thank you.” His gaze again met hers. “This too is perfect.” He shook his head. “All in all, this is turning out to be an extraordinary Christmas.”

“As it should be, Jack. You’re with your father and your entire family. Exactly as it should be, as it always should have been.” She ignored the rush of emotion that swept through her and adopted a brisk tone. “Now then if we don’t return, someone will surely be sent—”

“Theodosia.” He took her hand, her ring catching the light. “We have a great deal to talk about.”

“Well, yes, we need a new plan—”

“I don’t.”

She drew a deep breath. “Nothing has changed, Jack.”

His gaze bored into hers. “Everything has changed.”

“No,” she said in a hard tone. “It hasn’t.” She pulled her hand from his. “Are you going to accompany me back to the parlor?”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” He nodded. “You go ahead.”

“Very well.” She smiled pleasantly and took her leave. It was all she could do to walk toward the parlor and resist the urge to turn and run back into his arms. Or sprint up the stairs to her room and fling herself across her bed and weep.

What a fool she had been. She should have realized what was happening, what had been happening since the first moment they’d met in the Millworth ballroom. Of course she loved him. She would always love him.

Even when she said good-bye.

 

 

He stared after her for a long moment, turning the scarab absently over in his hand.

That hadn’t gone as planned but then he hadn’t expected her to say good-bye to him. His heart had thudded in his chest at her words because, regardless of her denial, it had been good-bye just as surely as if she had said the words aloud. But that he would not allow.

He raised his chin slightly. Jack was his father’s son and there was no time like the present to begin following in his footsteps. Obviously Father had already lived up to his end of their bargain and declared himself to Mother. Theodosia would not be so easily won. He ignored the fact that one could say winning over his mother had taken his father some thirty years.

The New Year’s Eve ball was a week from today. He had a full week to . . . to what?

He needed some sort of plan. He needed to offer her something more than what she had planned for her life. Something she couldn’t resist. Love would not be enough, not for this woman. And she did love him, even if she was not ready to acknowledge it to him or to herself. He would not let her walk out of his life. Not now that he had found her.

It had taken his father thirty years to finally be with the love of his life but then his father had lost sight of what he really wanted. Of his heart’s desire.

Jack might well decide to follow in his father’s footsteps.

But he absolutely refused to repeat his father’s mistakes.

If Teddy had been trying to avoid Jack in the week between Christmas Eve and the ball, she no doubt would have run into him every time she turned around. As she wasn’t, she scarcely ever saw the man.

Not that it wasn’t to be expected. Even though the New Year’s gala was in many ways a repeat of Camille’s wedding ball, there were still endless arrangements to be finalized. Arrangements that wouldn’t be quite as all-consuming if Lady Briston hadn’t taken it into her head to make changes, admittedly most of them minor, on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. There was something to be said for planning an event when one was not living on the premises and was not therefore within easy reach of the hostess.

Difficulties weren’t limited to those already residing at Millworth. Quite a few of the guests traveling from London had written to ask if lodging could be provided for them. Millworth would be filled with relatives so Teddy had arranged with the inn in the village to house those needing overnight accommodations. While one would think guests were capable of finding their own places to stay, Teddy’s previous experiences had proved that false. Fortunately, for very nearly the first time, her mother was providing more than competent assistance. She really had changed.

Those distant family members staying at Millworth had begun arriving as soon as two days after Christmas and all but two were expected. Jack’s grandfather and his uncle Daniel, Mr. Lockwood, who apparently wasn’t an uncle at all, had arrived from America to join in the festivities, which added yet another layer of unintentional drama to the proceedings. Mr. Graham, who was obviously trying his best to be pleasant and cordial, just as obviously had not overcome a certain amount of distrust of the colonel. On the other hand, Mr. Lockwood’s ill-fated affection for Mrs. Channing seemed to vanish the moment he laid eyes on Teddy’s mother, which did tend to irritate Mrs. Channing but put a definite sparkle in Mother’s eyes and an unquestioned spring in her step. Teddy had no idea her mother could be quite so flirtatious.

Teddy had decided to enjoy this final week as Jack’s fiancée. To savor it and take pleasure in it as one did a rare, special sweet. Their time together was drawing to a close and she wanted to remember every minute of it. They had, as yet, still not come up with a way to dissolve their engagement although she suspected they might simply have to confess the truth. That might indeed make it easier for everyone and she and Jack could part friends. Even though she wasn’t sure she could bear to be his friend.

While she knew he had decided not to return to New York, she had no idea what his plans were for his future although it did seem obvious that he would become the earl, after his father and uncle were gone, of course. She knew it was inevitable that they would run into one another on occasion and knew as well it would be awkward and uncomfortable. The man’s feelings for her were obvious. Every time he looked into her eyes she knew and she tried very hard not to let him know his feelings were returned. In that, she suspected she failed. Still, it would be best if he never knew. With every minute spent in his company she was terrified he would declare himself and ask for her hand. Regardless of her feelings for him, that would never do.

But oh, it would be so very easy to admit that she loved him and abandon her own future for his. He was, after all, everything she’d ever wanted and more. So much more. But letting go of her own dreams would eventually destroy them both. Her regrets would only grow through the years and ultimately she’d blame and resent him. The joy she now felt in his arms would fade and love would die a slow, horrible, bitter death. His life and hers would be ruined. No, as hard as it would be to live without him, following the course she had set for herself was best for both of them even if it meant shattering both their hearts.

Pain would surely ease in time, regrets would only grow.

Dee was not the only one to try to convince her of the error of her ways. The day before the ball, Lucy asked to speak with her privately in the parlor. She closed the door behind her and studied Teddy for a long moment.

“I do hate to be impolite, Lucy, but I have a great deal yet to accomplish today,” Teddy said with a pleasant smile. “So I really don’t have time to—”

“I’m sorry you’re so unhappy,” Lucy said abruptly.

“I’m not the least bit unhappy,” Teddy lied.

“Come now, Teddy. I’m not the only one who has noticed a slight but distinct air of melancholy about you.”

“Nonsense, I am simply busy,” Teddy said staunchly although her spirits had been low since Christmas Eve.

“Delilah says you are never downhearted.” Sympathy shone in Lucy’s eyes. “I’ve never experienced heartache myself but I can certainly recognize it when I see it.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Teddy said slowly.

“Jackson told me everything.”

Teddy’s brow rose. “Everything?”

“Well, perhaps not everything.” She shrugged. “But he did tell me that your engagement isn’t real.” She paused. “Even though he wants it to be. He’s in love with you, you know.”

Teddy started to deny it, then sighed. “I was afraid of that.”

“And you’re in love with him.” Lucy considered her closely. “Are you afraid of that, too?”

“Not afraid exactly but . . .” She shook her head. “It just won’t work, that’s all.”

“Because you want to be independent and make your own fortune and that sort of thing?”

Teddy smiled weakly. “It sounds rather foolish when you say it that way.”

“Oh, but it’s not. I quite admire you. And any woman willing to forgo what she is expected to be for what she wants to be is most impressive,” she said firmly. “It takes a great deal of courage and conviction. Why, you are an inspiration and I fully intend to follow in your footsteps.”

Teddy stared. “You do?”

“I most certainly do.” Lucy crossed the room to the sofa, sat down, and gestured for Teddy to join her. In spite of the endless number of details she had to see to today, Teddy couldn’t resist hearing what the younger woman had to say.

“So.” Teddy settled on the sofa. “You intend to plan weddings and parties and other events?”

“Oh no, nothing like that.” Lucy scoffed. “I would be dreadful at that sort of thing. I am not the least bit organized or efficient and details often slip right by me. But I do have a new plan for my life that has nothing to do with what I am expected to do.” She leaned closer in a confidential manner. “I have a tidy fortune left to me by a distant relative, a very independent female relative, and it’s time I put it to good use. If I’m no longer expected to marry Jackson, well, I’m free to do as I wish, you see.”

Teddy stared. “What are you going to do?”

“I haven’t finalized my plans yet but I will.” Confidence shone in the American’s eyes. “However, we are not here to talk about me, we’re here to talk about you and Jackson.”

“There really is nothing to say.”

“It is a quandary, isn’t it?” Lucy heaved a heartfelt sigh. “When there are two things you want so very much and you can’t have them both.”

Teddy smiled. “
Quandary
is putting it mildly.”

“As much as I admire you, Teddy, Jackson is my dearest friend in the world.” She squared her shoulders. “And I feel it my duty to lay out his case.”

Teddy drew her brows together. “Does he know this?”

“Don’t be absurd. He would never ask me to speak on his behalf.” Lucy folded her hands in her lap. “First of all, Jackson Channing is intelligent and handsome and has a good head on his shoulders. He is the best man I have ever known.”

“Indeed he is.”

“You’ll never find anyone even half as good.”

“Probably not, but—”

“But?”

Teddy chose her words with care. “Once, he was everything I ever wanted. Now, I want something different.”

“Still—”

“I don’t want to spend my life wondering what might have been.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to live my life with regrets.”

“Won’t you regret not being with Jackson?”

Teddy met the younger woman’s gaze directly. “Every minute until I breathe my last.”

“Oh.” Lucy stared. “I was right. You do have courage.”

“Or I’m a fool.” She shrugged. “There’s apparently a fine line.”

“Apparently. Although I suppose I’m a bit of a fool myself.” Lucy wrinkled her nose. “I let him go after all.”

“Why did you?”

“Well, I suppose it’s because I didn’t really want him. Not for my husband that is. I’ve known Jackson all of my life and I really think if you are going to spend the rest of your days with a man, it should be at least a little bit of an adventure.” She shook her head. “I can tell you what he will usually order in a restaurant. I can tell you what song he can’t resist dancing to when an orchestra plays. I can tell you his favorite color, book, play. There’s nothing left to discover about Jackson. And as truly wonderful as I think he is, I find it all rather, well, dull.”

“And I find it all fascinating.”

“That’s because he is your adventure.” Lucy smiled. “Not mine.”

“Well, adventures do come to an end you know.” Teddy forced a light laugh. “It’s the very nature of adventure.”

“Nonsense, I don’t believe that at all. Why, life itself is an adventure or at least it should be.” Lucy cast her a chastising look. “Surely you realize, Teddy, the very best adventures are only a beginning.”

 

 

Lady Briston was beside herself with delight as were her new dearest friends Lady Sallwick and Mrs. Channing. All three women agreed the New Year’s ball organized by the simply brilliant Lady Theodosia Winslow was the event of the year.

The Millworth ballroom had been transformed into a winter fairyland with hundreds of twinkling candles and garlands of sugared evergreen. Red roses overflowed from every nook and cranny and silvered half-masks were tucked into every arrangement. Even though Lady Briston had abandoned her idea of a masked ball, she had insisted on the masks as part of the decoration and Teddy had to admit she was right. The overall effect was breathtaking and nothing short of magical.

Teddy and Jack managed to convince the daunting trio that the ball was not the time to formally announce their engagement as they pointed out it would overshadow the true purpose of the evening, which was, of course, to introduce Jack to their world. Oddly enough, all three ladies, even Teddy’s mother, agreed. Teddy wondered if Lady Briston had already learned the truth from Dee. Mrs. Channing, who had seemed to accept Teddy, probably hoped there was still a chance Lucy would become her daughter-in-law. As for Teddy’s mother, well, she had firmly met her daughter’s gaze and said this was a decision best left to Teddy and Jack. It was as shocking as it was delightful.

It was indeed a night to remember. Once the ball began, Teddy turned over her duties to Clement to oversee. The butler accepted that as his due but broke from his usual proper demeanor and urged her to have a wonderful evening. Perhaps he too had noticed her manner wasn’t quite as cheerful as usual.

Jack hadn’t said a word about her low spirits but she had caught him studying her thoughtfully in those rare moments this week when they were in the same room together.

He was as brilliant tonight as the ballroom. Handsome and dashing, he danced with the dowagers and charmed the younger ladies. He joked with his father’s cronies and debated in a good-natured manner with his uncle’s friends. It struck her that, in spite of his apprehension, he fit in as surely as if he had lived his entire life here. There’s was no evidence of the ill-at-ease American she had met at Camille’s wedding, no sign of a fish out of water. And why should there be? Millworth, and all it meant, was in his blood.

And when he took her in his arms to dance, her resolve melted and she wanted nothing more than to stay in his arms forever.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” He smiled down at her.

“Why, no, you haven’t.” She heaved an overly dramatic sigh. “A grave oversight on your part, I would say.”

He laughed. “Absolutely. One I should rectify at once. Unfortunately . . .” He studied her for a moment. “Words are not enough.”

“As charming as that is, I’m not letting you get away that easily.”

“Oh, I could say your eyes sparkle like emeralds, your skin glows in the candlelight, your hair gleams like liquid fire, your lips are as irresistible as ripe cherries.”

“Come now, Jack, surely you can do better than that,” she teased.

“You are a dream, Theodosia, a gift from God. You are truly an adventure.” His gaze locked with hers. “My adventure.”

Her heart lodged in her throat. “See,” she said weakly. “I knew you could do better.”

“I think we should tell the family about our engagement tomorrow,” he said abruptly. “Delilah says the guests staying at the manor all plan on leaving first thing in the morning. We can do it at breakfast after they depart.”

“Breakfast will be later than usual,” she murmured.

“And then . . .” His eyes narrowed. “We need to talk.”

“We really have nothing to talk about. Not once we confess our deception.”

“We have a great deal to talk about,” he said firmly. “On a matter of some importance, I would say.”

She frowned up at him. “What?”

He ignored her. “The dining room is apparently where all matters of importance are discussed in this family so it does seem appropriate to make our confession there. Once that is settled, I have another announcement to make as well.”

She stared up at him. “What?”

“You do ask a lot of questions.”

“I always have.” She huffed with impatience. “I should warn you, I have never been fond of surprises.”

“Nor are you particularly patient. Tomorrow, Theodosia,” he said in what was obviously his best vice-presidential tone. “We shall discuss what needs to be discussed. Tonight . . .” He smiled down at her. “I have the most beautiful adventure in the world in my arms and I don’t intend to allow anything to spoil it.”