The Skeptics Annotated Bible (479 page)

5
Let the saints be joyful in glory: let them sing aloud upon their beds
.

(149.5)
“Let the saints be joyful in glory: let them sing aloud upon their beds.”

6
Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a twoedged sword in their hand
;

(149.6)
“Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a two-edged sword in their hand.”

7
To execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people
;

(149.7)
“To execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people.”

8
To bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron
;

(149.8)
“To bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron.”

9 To execute upon them the judgment written: this honour have all his saints. Praise ye the LORD.

1
Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.

2 Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.

3 Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.

4
Praise him with the timbrel and dance
: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.

(150.4) “Praise him with the timbrel and dance.”
100 Is dancing a sin?

5 Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.

6 Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
—
Proverbs 23.13-142

There are a lot of good sayings in Proverbs. Here are a few of my favorites:

• “Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart.”
  3.3
  
• “Rejoice with the wife of thy youth…Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
  5.18-19
  
• “Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning.”
  7.18
  
• “He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind.”
  11.29
  
• “The simple believeth every word.”
  14.15
  
• “A soft answer turneth away wrath.”
  15.1
  
• “The hoary head is a crown of glory.”
  16.31
  
• “Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth.”
  24.17
  
• “Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will render to the man according to his work.”
  24.29
  
• “Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips.”
  27.2
  
• “Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.”
  31.6-7
  

But there’s plenty of bad stuff, too. For example:

• God will laugh at your misfortunes, mock you when you are afraid, and ignore you when you ask him for help.
  1.26-28
  
• Watch out for those strange, brawling, angry, contentious, adulterous, odious women.
  2.16-18
  ,
  5.3-5
  ,
  6.24-26
  ,
  7.5-27
  ,
  21.19
  ,
  22.14
  ,
  23.27-28
  ,
  25.24
  ,
  27.15
  ,
  30.20
  ,
  30.23
  
• Foolish women are simple and know nothing; they drag innocent men into hell.
  9.13
  
• “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”
  11.22
  
• Beat the hell out of your children.
  13.24
  ,
  19.18
  ,
  22.15
  ,
  23.13-14
  ,
  29.15
  
• “The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil; so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.”
  20.30
  
• The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous.
  21.18
  
• Beat your slaves just like you do your children. Don’t try to correct them with words.
  29.19
  
• If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out your eyeballs and feed them to the eagles.
  30.17
  

On the whole, though, I’d say the good in Proverbs outweighs the bad, which is something I can say for only one other book in the Bible: Ecclesiastes (by far the best book in the Bible).

1
The proverbs of Solomon
the son of David, king of Israel;

(1.1)
“The proverbs of Solomon”
The book of Proverbs was written several centuries after Solomon supposedly lived. It wasn’t written by Solomon; it was forged by someone who claimed to be Solomon.

2 To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding;

3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity;

4 To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.

5 A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:

6 To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings.

7
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge
: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

(1.7) “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.”
132 Should we fear God?

8
My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

(1.8)
“My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.”
107 How should parents be treated?

9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

10 My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.

11 If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause:

12 Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit:

13 We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil:

14 Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse:

15 My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path:

16 For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.

17 Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird.

18 And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives.

19 So are the ways of every one that is greedy of gain; which taketh away the life of the owners thereof.

20 Wisdom crieth without; she uttereth her voice in the streets:

21 She crieth in the chief place of concourse, in the openings of the gates: in the city she uttereth her words, saying,

22 How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?

23 Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.

24 Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;