The Skeptics Annotated Bible (588 page)

20
Now Pashur the son of Immer the priest, who was also chief governor in the house of the LORD, heard that Jeremiah prophesied these things.

2 Then Pashur smote Jeremiah the prophet, and put him in the stocks that were in the high gate of Benjamin, which was by the house of the LORD.

3 And it came to pass on the morrow, that Pashur brought forth Jeremiah out of the stocks. Then said Jeremiah unto him, The LORD hath not called thy name Pashur, but Magor-missabib.

(20.4-6) Jeremiah prophesies his rival’s death (along with his family and friends).

4 For thus saith the LORD, Behold
, I will make thee a terror to thyself, and to all thy friends: and they shall fall by the sword of their enemies, and thine eyes shall behold it: and I will give all Judah into the hand of the king of Babylon, and he shall carry them captive into Babylon, and shall slay them with the sword.

(20.4)
“I will make thee a terror to thyself, and to all thy friends: and they shall fall by the sword of their enemies, and thine eyes shall behold it: and I will give all Judah into the hand of the king of Babylon, and he shall carry them captive into Babylon, and shall slay them with the sword.”

5 Moreover I will deliver all the strength of this city, and all the labours thereof, and all the precious things thereof, and all the treasures of the kings of Judah will I give into the hand of their enemies, which shall spoil them, and take them, and carry them to Babylon.

6
And thou, Pashur, and all that dwell in thine house
shall go into captivity: and thou shalt come to Babylon, and there thou
shalt die
, and shalt be buried there,
thou, and all thy friends, to whom thou hast prophesied lies.

(20.6)
“And thou, Pashur, and all that dwell in thine house … shalt die … thou, and all thy friends, to whom thou hast prophesied lies.”

7
O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived
: thou art stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me.

(20.7)
“O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived.”
God lied to Jeremiah!
139 Does God lie?

8 For since I spake, I cried out, I cried violence and spoil; because the word of the LORD was made a reproach unto me, and a derision, daily.

9 Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay.

10 For I heard the defaming of many, fear on every side. Report, say they, and we will report it. All my familiars watched for my halting, saying, Peradventure he will be enticed, and we shall prevail against him, and we shall take our revenge on him.

11 But the LORD is with me as a mighty terrible one: therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail: they shall be greatly ashamed; for they shall not prosper: their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten.

12 But,
O LORD of hosts, that
triest the righteous, and
seest the reins
and the heart, let me see thy vengeance on them: for unto thee have I opened my cause.

(20.12)
“O LORD of hosts, that … seest the reins
[kidneys]
.”

13 Sing unto the LORD, praise ye the LORD: for he hath delivered the soul of the poor from the hand of evildoers.

(20.14-17) Jeremiah curses the day he was born. He even curses the man who told his father he was having a son. “Let him be as the cities which the Lord overthrew.” (Let him be dead.) Because he didn’t abort him when he had the chance.

14
Cursed be the day wherein I was born: let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed.

(20.14)
“Cursed be the day wherein I was born: let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed.”

15
Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man child is born unto thee
; making him very glad.

(20.15)
“Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man child is born unto thee.”

16 And
let that man be as the cities which the LORD overthrew
, and repented not: and let him hear the cry in the morning, and the shouting at noontide;

(20.16)
“Let that man be as the cities which the LORD overthrew.”

17
Because he slew me not from the womb; or that my mother might have been my grave, and her womb to be always great with me
.

(20.17)
“Because he slew me not from the womb; or that my mother might have been my grave, and her womb to be always great with me.”

18 Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labour and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?

21
The word which came unto Jeremiah from the LORD, when king Zedekiah sent unto him Pashur the son of Melchiah, and Zephaniah the son of Maaseiah the priest, saying,

2 Enquire, I pray thee, of the LORD for us; for Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon maketh war against us; if so be that the LORD will deal with us according to all his wondrous works, that he may go up from us.

3 Then said Jeremiah unto them, Thus shall ye say to Zedekiah:

4 Thus saith the LORD God of Israel; Behold, I will turn back the weapons of war that are in your hands, wherewith ye fight against the king of Babylon, and against the Chaldeans, which besiege you without the walls, and I will assemble them into the midst of this city.

(21.5-7) God will fight and kill everyone in fury “with an outstretched hand and with a strong arm.” He will deliver Zedekiah and those that survive the famine, disease, and war into Nebuchadrezzar’s hand, and “he shall smite them with the edge of the sword; he shall not spare them, neither have pity, nor have mercy.” God’s 129th Killing