The Skeptics Annotated Bible (838 page)

(24.49) “Tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem.”
412 Where did Jesus tell his disciples to go after his resurrection?

50 And he led them out as far as to Bethany, and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them.

51 And it came to pass, while he blessed them,
he was
parted from them, and
carried up into heaven.

(24.51) “He was … carried up into heaven.”
428 When did Jesus ascend into heaven?

52 And they worshipped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy:

53 And were continually in the temple, praising and blessing God. Amen.

He that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
—
John 3.18

The best known verse from the Bible, by far, is
John 3.16.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

And it sounds nice, until you think about it. God had his own son tortured to death to prevent himself from torturing everyone else forever. Believe and you have everlasting life. Disbelieve and you are damned to hell. That is the message of the gospel of John.

Here are some highlights.

• Jesus told Nathaniel that he would see heaven open and angels descend upon Jesus. Nathaniel never saw it; neither has anyone else.
  1.51
  
• Jesus believed the stupid and vicious story from Numbers 21. (God sent snakes to bite the people for complaining about the lack of food and water. Then God told Moses to make a brass snake to cure them from the bites.)
  3.14
  
• Those who, for whatever reason, do not believe in Jesus are tormented forever in hell.
  3.18
  ,
  8.24
  ,
  15.6
  
• The wrath of God is on all unbelievers.
  3.36
  
• Jesus magically perceived that a Samaritan woman had been married and divorced five times previously. (He could spot a divorced woman a mile away.)
  4.7-18
  
• The people of Nazareth, who knew Jesus well, (his family, friends, and neighbors) didn’t believe in him.
  6.42
  ,
  7.5
  
• Jesus says we must eat his flesh and drink his blood if we want to have eternal life.
  6.53
  
• A man was born blind so that Jesus could show off his powers by curing him of his blindness.
  9.1-3
  
• Jesus spits on the ground, mixes his spit with the dirt, and rubs the muddy spit in a blind man’s eyes.
  9.6
  
• Everyone that ever lived before Jesus was a thief and a robber.
  10.8
  
• Many of those who saw Jesus firsthand thought he was mad and possessed by a devil.
  10.20
  
• Lazarus suffered and died (or pretend to die) so that Jesus could be "be glorified" by raising him from the dead.
  11.4
  
• Mary wastes expensive ointment on Jesus’ feet, rather than selling the ointment and giving the money to the poor. But Jesus thinks his feet are more important, saying that poor people will always be around, but he and his precious feet won’t be.
  12.3-8
  
• You must hate your life in order to keep it. (If you love your life, you’ll go to hell after you die.)
  12.25
  
• God hardened the hearts of the Jews to prevent them from believing in Jesus.
  12.40
  
• Those who believe in Jesus will be able to perform even greater miracles than he did!
  14.12
  
• If you don’t like Jesus, then you don’t like God. (You’re a damned God hater.)
  15.23
  
• Christians always get whatever they ask for in prayer. 15.7,
  16
  ;
  16.23
  
• The Jews are blamed for the death of Jesus.
  19.7-15
  
• Jesus implied that he would return to earth during the lifetime of John.
  21.22-23
  

1
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

(1.1)
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
349 Is Jesus God?
2 Who created heaven and earth?

2 The same was in the beginning with God.

3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.

7 The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.

8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.

9 That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.

10 He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.

11 He came unto his own, and his own received him not.

12 But as many as received him,
to them gave he power to become the sons of God
, even to them that believe on his name:

(1.12) “To them gave he the power to become the sons of God.”
28 How many sons does God have?

13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

14 And
the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us
, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

(1.14) “The Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us.”
349 Is Jesus God?

15 John bare witness of him, and cried, saying, This was he of whom I spake, He that cometh after me is preferred before me: for he was before me.

16 And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.

17 For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.

18
No man hath seen God at any time
; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.

(1.18) “No man hath seen God at any time.”
49 Can God be seen?

19 And this is the record of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, Who art thou?

20 And he confessed, and denied not; but confessed, I am not the Christ.

21 And they asked him, What then?
Art thou Elias? And he saith, I am not
. Art thou that prophet? And he answered, No.

(1.21) “Art thou Elias? And he saith, I am not.”
356 Was John the Baptist Elijah?