The Skies of Pern (35 page)

I didn’t
.

For once, Golanth jolted gracelessly onto the terrace, throwing his rider forward in an unexpected assist in dismounting. F’lessan was lucky to keep on his feet, running a few steps to restore his balance. Did Golanth sense other male dragons near enough to challenge him? Certainly the bronze demonstrated his eagerness by arching his neck, tucking his head into his chest, proudly male. Sweeping the skies for the appearance of more dragons, F’lessan quickly stripped off safety straps, shucking the pile to the nearest bench, as he began to shed his flying gear. Golanth moved carefully toward Zaranth, his eyes beginning to whirl in anticipation.

Tai was standing there, the harness folded over her arms, gazing fatuously at her dragon.

“Good to see her looking so well. She’d gone quite dull there
for a while after the Flood,” she remarked as F’lessan strode up to her. “How near are the felines?”

“Looking so well?” F’lessan paused, astonished by her choice of words. Then he pointed dramatically at Zaranth. “By the Egg,
look
at her, Tai!”

Her eyes gleaming orangey-red, Zaranth angled her head coquettishly back at Golanth who was displaying, moving cautiously nearer, his faceted eyes sparking more redly.

Tai gasped, eyes widening with an expression of such fear and intense loathing that F’lessan wondered just what had happened during Zaranth’s other mating flights.

“But there’s just us!” she cried defensively, the harness slipping off her arms as she spread them wide in a gesture of panic and confusion.

How had she thought there was safety in that? Of course there had been other dragons and riders around, in and out of Honshu. Until right now! But, with a green in heat, there was no safety in numbers. Her hands turned, palms toward him in flat rejection. And, of course, he thought in fury, when Zaranth had gone proddy before, every blue, brown, and needy bronze had appeared: their riders had corralled her rider, waiting to see which dragon would win the green. He closed his eyes; he knew very well how intense the mood would be. But the green rider would choose!

“Tai, did you never choose?” he cried, outraged for her as he started to close the distance between her. And halted. He mustn’t crowd her. The others had. How much time could he give her?
How
could he soothe her?

She was trembling violently, her eyes wide—not in an answer to her dragon’s sensuality, but in sheer terror. She seemed to draw into herself, denying what was about to happen. Crossing her arms in a defensive position! Shards! Had previous riders raped her as their dragons twined? He tried to remember which blues and browns weyred at Monaco.

Tai continued backing away from him, looking about wildly for some refuge.

“They were all the same,” she muttered. “There’s no escape from them. From their …” She swallowed, trying to lick dry lips, white-faced with revulsion: her green eyes stark.

“Tai, were you forced?” With those words Tai shot F’lessan a look of such fear laced with guilt that he felt his belly fall flat. “You didn’t choose?” He spoke very gently, appalled. This should be the most wonderful experience: a doubled ecstasy as both dragon and rider exalted in the union. He’d thought he’d made it so for those he’d partnered. The queen riders had always
known:
they had
chosen
him. With the state she was in, there was no way Tai had ever chosen. “It shouldn’t be a violation. It should be a celebration for you and your dragon. The most glorious union!”

“Union?” She snarled the word, the panic in her eyes telling him that mating had been far from that.

How many times had Zaranth mated? How many times had she been … he struggled to find the appropriate word … violated? He knew hold and hall girls often were; it was one reason so many sought sanctuary in a Weyr. Dragonriders, except at this one time in their dragon’s cycle, were known to be considerate, and ardent, lovers. Without conceit, he knew that he enjoyed a certain reputation. Is that why Tai had been so chary of his company? He’d thought she was just naturally reticent. Now he realized she had been motivated more by fear than reserve. He’d have a few well-chosen words for Mirrim after this—if he could only reach the girl now, when it was vital to soothe her.

With the stunning warble of a lustful green, Zaranth issued her challenge to Golanth and launched herself, straight up. Unlike the queens who needed to blood a kill to give them extra strength for longer mating flights, greens required little preparation beyond the onset of their cycle. Golanth did not hesitate for a moment, the bugle of his acceptance echoing back to their riders.

Tai screamed in anguish, reaching out futilely as if she could have stopped her green.

“Tai, listen to me,” he said, keeping his voice light. “Let me explain how it should be.” Carefully, slowly, he held out one hand but she backed away along the terrace.

Eyeing his hand as if even his touch would sully her, she cowered away, her green eyes frantic.

“Oh, Tai, my friend, if I could, I’d stop Golanth,” and he would have given anything to have been able to prepare her more. If he
hadn’t been so callous as to ignore what he’d thought was a natural reserve rather than sexual fear. “I can’t, not now when Zaranth wants
him
so badly.”

“How can she
want him
? I don’t want you! Not
that
way!”

That admission was at least something in his favor, F’lessan thought, struggling to find a way through companionship to solving the intensely immediate problem of their situation. All too soon the rider would be consumed by the dragon in a bonding neither could escape. He had to reach Tai, the human being, before her mind was locked into her mating dragon.

“But you see, she does. She just challenged him,” he said softly, infusing as much gentle persuasion into his voice as he could. “He answered. He has been admiring her in so many ways. Just as I admire you, Tai.”

She blinked, confused.

That was good, F’lessan thought, somewhat frantic himself. If he couldn’t reach her, she’d never realize that it needn’t
be
rape. He knew he could control his human self, no matter how he might wish to revel in orgasm with his Golanth.

“Haven’t you learned anything of me?” he cried in soft desperation. “Have I offended you? Slighted you as friend, Tai?” She blinked again, shaking her head, more confused than ever as the hold of her dragon increased. “In this let me
be
your friend—and lover, too. Challenge me, Tai, as your dragon challenged mine. Challenge me to make love to you, to you, Tai, not to Tai-rider. Choose me!” He spread his hands across his chest. “Choose
me
, Tai!”

“I have no choice,” she said, whimpering. She collapsed inwardly.

“Oh, Tai, love,” he pleaded, holding out his hands but careful not to crowd her. She was so near the edge of the terrace. She was suddenly so dear to him, he was surprised to realize. This was not all Golanth’s yearning: F’lessan the man was yearning, too. “Please, Tai, please choose me!”

Whether it was Tai who reached slowly out to her friend for support, or the dazed rider, he wasn’t then sure but she did reach. Was there enough of the human there to have made a choice?

“Please, Tai, come with me now,” he said, taking her hand in a light grasp and gently turning her back, toward the nearest door. “My friend, we must go in.”

He tried not to startle her, slowly guiding her steps—she couldn’t see the arm he held behind her, just in case she might still bolt. Her eyes were glazing: she wouldn’t know how close the edge of the terrace was if she should suddenly feel trapped and try to escape.

Murmuring encouragement, he got her inside the weyrhold. With equal care, he closed the door behind them, grateful that the hinges were oiled and hoping she didn’t hear the slight noise as it shut. Her fingers were slack on his, her gaze distant: she was half in rider trance. He wanted to settle her before she was completely submerged by Zaranth’s sensuality. That would have been frightening enough the first time it happened if no one had explained it in full detail. Tai’s reserve should have warned him; he cursed himself for insensitivity. How long had he been a rider?

Abruptly Tai tensed. He glanced at her eyes, pupils enlarged against the dark in the hallway. He kept his hand relaxed while hers tightened convulsively. He put his other hand on the small of her back, lightly, offering no threat, just guidance.

“I’m honored you chose me, Tai,” he said. She must believe that. “I didn’t believe you would, you know. I admired you for how calmly you got the children out at Monaco.” He’d better be careful what he said now. “Be calm now, Tai. Be calm and let me help you now.”

As deftly as he could, he turned her into the nearest sleeping room. He could feel Golanth’s desire mounting. He had to control his. He had to remain human as long as he could. And that was becoming an effort. He couldn’t just push her on the bed—that would frighten her—but he also didn’t want to turn dragon and have her endure rougher handling.

Gently, he put his arms around her. “You have chosen me, F’lessan, and I will love you well!”

He kissed her forehead and slowly tightened his arms about her. If she weren’t completely thralled by Zaranth … but had she ever been lovingly kissed? He bent his head, his mouth tender on hers. Let her still be human enough to feel this! He had not expected
the flare of passion that passed between them in a kiss he had intended to be delicate. She trembled violently. Instinctively he tightened his embrace.

“You chose me, Tai. You chose me,” he cried but her body went stiff in his arms. Rocking her, he kissed her face, her cheeks, her mouth, her neck. “Choose me, Tai!” he begged as he felt the rigidity that was dragon-frenzy, not human.

And
he
was abruptly Golanth.

S
he had launched herself well, and then ducked sideways, streaming away from him with unusually strong sweeps of her wings. She was big for a green and he liked that in her. He did prefer greens to golds. The golds always felt as if they were conferring great honor on a bronze by permitting them to mate. But greens could be grateful. They were certainly lustier than queens. Perhaps because they mated more often. She dodged to the right and he followed lazily. Let her wear herself out a while. He could wait. He would wait. This one was worth it. He had been so careful, not being too possessive of her company but he had let the others know that he intended this green to be his. He had been marshaling his strength whenever possible, knowing how tired other dragons were. But he was Golanth! Of Benden Weyr! Sired by Mnementh! Hatched of Ramoth. Worthy of that noble pairing!

She tucked her wings along her back, diving obliquely. He followed quickly. Did she realize how close she was to the ground? Oh, she did and swooped up again, proudly, head reaching for the low clouds that scudded over the foothills.

She’d play that game, would she? With one quick glance around him to see if any challengers had entered the chase, he swept after her. Sun sparkled off her brilliant skin between clouds and he pursued her, wondering if she knew that he could see her so clearly.

She turned on one wing tip and, knowing these skies better than she did, he did the same and soared through the narrow pass. If she thought he’d fall for that wily trick, she hadn’t his measure. Soon she would.

She rose above the filmy cloudbank, heading toward the thinner air, then almost tumbled back down. He followed this maneuver effortlessly. She raced forward, rolling slowly as if caressed by the chill air. He nearly overshot her but didn’t, so she failed with that ploy. She ducked, dodged, and fell surface-ward again, pulling up with the most graceful and powerful of movements he had yet seen in a green. Oh, she was a prize, this one! How he loved her! And she had chosen him!

Clouds again and he shadowed her progress through them by the glow of her reddened eyes. Then, just as she let him get very close, to evade him at the last moment, he gave his wings a sudden massive stroke and reached for her, making the catch, pulling her to him, connecting. Wings entwined and beating together, they flew suspended and, because he was a bronze and cleverer than she had thought him, their flight was horizontal to the ground and he could extend this passion for a long, long time. He did, sweeping them both carefully over the great inland sea where the thermals caressed their gleaming hides.

F
’lessan was back in his body and Tai’s was his. They were both panting from the exertion of a marvelously extended flight. He felt both triumphant and drained. He hadn’t felt such repletion in a long while. She lay limply beneath him, eyes closed, head to one side, curls of sweaty hair concealing her face. He hadn’t the strength—nor, to be candid, the wish—to release her, to leave her body. Considerate of her, he shifted. For all the pleasure he had enjoyed with other women, this encounter really was different. He couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say and he had prided himself on knowing exactly the right words to use in any situation.

“Oh, Tai, you did choose me,” he murmured, propping himself on his elbows, looking down at her with a feeling close to awe. “You did!”

His words took him as much by surprise as they did her. She turned her head slightly, her eyes wide and human again. Her
lips were swollen from kisses he had been unable to control, and her eyes filled with tears.

“Please say you did?” The human in him needed to be reassured but he was also aware that their meeting had been incredibly intense, even for a dragon-generated mating. That could only be achieved with the enthusiastic cooperation of both partners. He couldn’t be feeling the way he did right now if rape had been involved.

“I didn’t know it was supposed to be—like that!” she admitted softly and she turned her head, embarrassed.

“My very dear green,” he said tenderly, stroking her face with his thumbs, feeling slightly superior because he was no stranger to the “that.” “It is assuredly the most intense emotional and sexual experience. We know exactly what our dragons are feeling, and they mirror ours. It can be stunning enough when humans love, but magnified by our emotional bond with our dragons …” He spread his hands, unable to quantify it and smiled tenderly at her. “Well, it—” he hesitated, “should have happened to you before, Tai.” He couldn’t help making fists and driving them into the rumpled furs of the bed. “I’m appalled and concerned that you were so abused. That’s
not
the way dragonriders should behave even when the dragon’s in control. I’m …”