The Skye Trilogy: Isle of Skye, Isle of Night, and Isle of Dawn. * Bonus: Scrumptious Skye Confections Cookbook* (87 page)

“It’s cool…umm?” My voice trailed off in question

“Fern,” he answered. “My name is Fern, your highness.”

“That’s a great name Fern,” I said sweetly. “I am here to seek an audience with Holly and Forrest Woods. It is of the utmost importance that I speak to them. I also would appreciate it if you would treat this request with discretion and urgency.”

“Yes, yes of course,” he answered. “One moment please your highness.”

I was expecting the whole gate to swing open, but a cleverly disguised small door popped open within the wooden gate. Fern smiled nervously as he gave me a respectful bow. “Welcome to Woodlia.”

“Thanks Fern.” I said

“I will call Holly and Forrest at once,” he said before rushing off into a small hut.

“Princess Willa?” Jeremiah asked. “Did you have to give him your lineage?”

“It worked didn’t it?” I retorted before turning my attention back to the scene before me. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but my first sight of Woodlia did not disappoint. There were hundreds of different trees scattered everywhere. Maples, Elms, Pear, Palm and Cherry trees dotted in and out of larger evergreen and Sequoias.

There were many different varieties that I had never even seen before as well. Almost all of them had houses that looked like mushrooms beneath them, and there were RV’s scattered everywhere. The village looked like the ultimate hippie commune as I noticed people walking around with flowing clothes and long hair.

I squinted as I caught a glimpse of something going from tree to tree. I realized with delight that it wasn’t animals but small children and even some adults.

“Jeremiah, are there people swinging from trees or am I losing my mind and my eyesight?” I asked

“Yes, yes I believe children and people are swinging from branches.” Jeremiah answered slowly

“That’s how we get around,” Fern explained as he joined us. “Since a wood Nymph’s soul is tied to a tree when we come into this world, we use them in every aspect of our life.”

“Oh…my…God,” I said. “Oh, she is in for such a world of hurt. I’m going to bake a Tarzan cake for her birthday. I’m going to buy Tarzan shirts to wear. I’m going to redecorate her bedroom with a Tarzan bedspread and curtains. Polly is pretty much going to want to kill me.”

“Polly?” Fern asked. “Polly Woods? Do you know her?”

“Yes I am almost embarrassed to admit that she’s my BFF.” I answered

“Oh...well...Umm,” Fern stammered. “Tell her I said hello when you see her. Can you also tell her that I was a big help to you?”

“Do you have a crush on Polly, Fern?” I asked. “Let me give you a little piece of advice, run as far away from her as you can whenever you see her.”

“I second that.” Jeremiah smiled

We all laughed as Fern’s face turned bright red. I looked up as I saw two figures came swinging towards me. When they dropped down a short distance away, I smiled. I would’ve known who they were anywhere.

Forrest Woods was a tall, thin man with overlong shaggy black hair that had gray sprinkled throughout. He wore black leather pants that fit him like a glove and a long denim shirt that was opened halfway showing his hairy chest and a considerable amount long gold chains.

Holly Woods looked like an older version of Polly. She was petite and skinny. Her dark hair was a funky mullet; Joan Jett circa 1980’s hair style, and her face was fully made up with enough metallic makeup for a chorus line of showgirls. Her ripped jeans and black t-shirt had seen better days, but she pulled it off with finesse.

They both came to a stop right in front of me and dropped to a low curtsy. I was amused at their formal welcome for a split second until Polly’s mom straightened and opened her mouth to speak.

“So what the fuck kind of trouble did that girl get herself into now?” Holly demanded

Chapter Six

“Oh... no,” I said. “That’s not why we’re here…”

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another with that girl,” Holly said. “This is your fault Forrest.”

“This is my fault?” Forrest asked. “Why in the bloody hell is it my fault?”

“It’s your fault because you wanted to raise her in this loosey-goosey style of parenting,” Holly said. “I at least tried to enforce rules.”

“You tried to enforce rules?” Forrest laughed. “Well, that’s news to me.”

“We’re here for another reason entirely,” I tried to interrupt but Holly and Forrest ignored me. They were so caught up in their little squabble I think they forgot we were standing here.

“I tried to make sure she ate properly and went to bed at a decent time,” Holly yelled

“Yes, dear, you were fantastic at doing that,” Forrest said sarcastically. “I distinctly remember all the wonderful meals we sat and ate around the dinner table. Please don’t me laugh, the only thing you know how to make for dinner is whatever you can cook in the microwave.”

“Well at least I tried,” Holly responded before turning to me. “Please forgive us Princess Willa. Forrest and I tend to get a bit cranky if we’re around each other too long.”

“No problem,” I smiled

“So what has been darling daughter been up to?” Forrest asked. “She wasn’t caught trying to sell marijina?”

“What is marijina?” Jeremiah asked. “Do you mean marijuana?”

“Marijina is
a herb that it used to calm one’s nerves,” Forrest explained. “It’s not as potent as marijuana and it is only grown here in Woodlia.”

“Well you would know, you’re the expert,” Holly muttered

“I don’t hear you complaining Holly Woods when you need money to buy all your massage oils.” Forrest said

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Jeremiah asked. “Are you a drug dealer?”

“I am not a drug dealer,” Forrest said indignantly. “Marijina is legal to grow and sell within the Earth realm.”

“In the Earth realm,” Holly said. “It is not legal anywhere else which is why we had to leave Fairlia.”

Jeremiah and I stood with our mouths open. I think I was beyond even trying to speak at this point. Holly and Forrest’s interaction was better than watching reality TV.

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Forrest snorted. “I’m sure every legitimate massage therapist has the term ‘rub & tug’ on their list of menu options.”

“Oh my,” Patcoena finally said

“Wait a minute,” I said. “Just so I get this straight. Forrest, you deal the wacky weed and Holly, you’re a massage therapist that performs sex acts for those who pay for it?”

“Forrest and I have an open, honest relationship,” Holly explained. “We both believe that it is important for everyone to explore and release their sexual energy. I like to help people not just with the massaging of their bodies, but I firmly believe in helping men get rid of any residual back up that they might have. It’s all part of a very spiritual program that I have come up with in my work. I also prefer to think of myself as a sexual healer in some cases. You wouldn’t believe how many men and woman that I have helped in the course of my career.”

“I’m just not sure how this day can get any better,” I said. “Jeremiah, is this the greatest freaking day or what?”

“I feel like I’m watching one of those really horrid talk shows,” Jeremiah said in amazement

“Willa,” Patcoena said warningly. “We need to tell Forrest and Holly why we’re here.”

“I know we need to talk to them but everything after this whole thing is going to seem so anticlimactic,” I sighed

“What sort of trouble is Polly in?” Holly asked

“Do we need to break her out of the slammer?” Forrest asked

“Polly is not in any trouble nor do we need to break her out of the slammer,” I said. “I’m here to ask for your help.”

Holly and Forrest looked both shocked and relieved. “We are, of course, here to help you in any way possible. After all, you are Polly’s best friend. In my mind that makes you our daughter as well.”

“That is so sweet and slightly disturbing,” I said

“Is there anywhere that we can go so that we may talk in private?” Patcoena asked

“Sure,” Forrest said. “Our trailer is on the outskirts of the village.”

“Of course it is,” Jeremiah muttered

“Willa, shall we?” Patcoena asked, holding out his arm to indicate he wanted to teleport. I nodded and grabbed Jeremiah and Holly’s hand while Patcoena took Forrest’s arm. In a flash, we disappeared and
landed in the front yard of the Wood’s camper a few seconds later. I looked around and shook my head in amusement as I took in the sight before me.

Holly and Forrest lived in an Airstream camper just like their daughter, only theirs was a double decker steel beast on wheels. I wasn’t sure how they managed to get one camper on top of the other, but I had to admit I was horribly curious to go inside and check it out from the top to bottom.

“Welcome to our home,” Holly smiled while gesturing for us to follow her inside the camper. I walked up the concrete block steps and stopped short. Jeremiah and Patcoena both ran into me suddenly.

“Willa,” Jeremiah said. “Don’t you know it’s not polite to stop so suddenly? What on earth is the…”

“Is that a velvet Elvis picture hanging over the couch?” I asked

“Do you like it?” Holly asked. “We found it in Canada of all places and I just knew I had to have it for my home.”

“I think it goes great with the red velvet of the couch,” Jeremiah said seriously. “It doesn’t clash at all.”

The inside of the camper was a cathedral to velvet and beads. The red velvet couch and chairs that sat on top of the gold shag carpet was in good shape but looked horribly out of date. The purple velvet curtains that hung on the windows had orange and pink beaded trim and off to the side
was a small kitchenette with avocado green appliances and in the corner was a small spiral staircase that I assumed led to the upstairs bedrooms.

I walked over to the other side of the living room and peered through the hanging beaded curtain and spied a small room that looked to be Holly’s office. A large table was set up in the center, and there were big, overstuffed satins pillows in every color that lined the floor. On the walls were etchings that showed men and woman in various sexual positions. One wall contained floor to ceiling shelves that held bottles of oil and lotions.

“Is that a greenhouse?” Patcoena asked as he looked out a small round window in the living room

“Yes,” Forrest answered. “That’s where I grow my plants. Speaking of which, would anyone like a taste? I can roll a sample of the herb up in a jiffy.”

“I think we’re all set Forrest,” Jeremiah said

“I have to be honest, I can’t even remember why we’re here,” I said in wonder. “This has got to be the most hilarious and surreal moment of my life. I have to take some pictures because I don’t want to forget any details about today.”

“Why don’t you all sit down and I’ll brew up some herbal tea?” Holly suggested

“Um, what kind of herbal tea will you be making?” Patcoena

“I was thinking maybe some spearmint tea?” Holly asked, holding up leaves. We all nodded vigorously in agreement as the crisp, sweet smell greeted our noses.

A few minutes later we sat down and took a tentative sip from our cups. I sighed in relief as the familiar taste of mint hit my tongue.

“So what can we do for you?” Forrest asked. I set my cup down and took a deep breath before starting to talk. It took me almost ten minutes to tell them as much as I could before I finally stopped to take another sip of my now cold tea. I could tell by the looks on their faces that Holly and Forrest were a little shocked by my tale.

“My God,” Forrest final said. “You’re truly the Fae Sanctity?”

“That’s what Patty boy here keeps telling me,” I answered

“Not only me, Willa but the King has also confirmed it by showing himself to Willa in his ghostly state,” Patcoena smiled

“So how can we help?” Forrest asked. I smiled at him gratefully. I thought it was pretty amazing that they both seemed ready and willing to help someone that had just met. I knew that Polly had probably told them about me but considering the fact they had never even seen me before was quite something in my mind.

“We need to find a place in the forest that holds the King’s power of the earth,” I explained. “Are there any places you can think of that may seem off to you or creepy?”