The Song Remains the Same (30 page)

Wednesday came, and Tim picked us up mid-morning. Piling into the back of the van, he smiled at us in the rearview mirror. “You guys had a nice time?”

Phil looked down at me, smiling. “Too fuckin’ right we did.”

Grinning like an idiot right back at him, I replied, “Very nice.”

The Twisted Festivus was at the same fairgrounds every year. Behind the main stage area, Tim was able to drive us up to the gate that fenced off the tour buses from the rest of the parking lot.

“I got a few more errands to run, so I’ll see you guys later, all right?”

“Sure thing,” replied Phil, grabbing his duffel bag full of clean clothes before taking my hand.

Shit, we were so in love in that moment that even
I
could see the glow shimmering off of us as we made our way toward the direction where Tim said the bus was.

“I talked to Jason. Everyone was headin’ back to the house to shower and relax for a few hours. Lili and Lewis are gonna get the food for the next few days.”

“Sweet,” I replied.

His hand squeezed my fingers laced with his, and I glanced up and smiled at him. He looked too cute in his aviators.

Passing the rows of buses, we hurried our steps as we neared Cornered Cannibal’s bus, not wanting to run into any of those people or their crew. However, just as we were heading through their designated area, the door to their bus opened, and Devon blew out with an air of violence, closely followed by a tiny redhead.

“Devon, be reasonable! You can’t just leave in the middle of a tour!”

“
Be reasonable
?” he vehemently snapped, spinning around to face the petite woman. His Irish accent grew thicker with his anger, giving way to a pretty lilt. “You two are pure fucking evil! What is
wrong
with you?”

“Devon?” I called out.

Both he and the redhead turned to look at us. Phil stiffened with annoyance next to me.

The redhead blanched, and I recognized her even under the heavily applied dark eye makeup.

So did Phil. “Camryn?” he asked in surprise.

I looked up at my man. He wasn’t looking at
Camryn
. He was looking at the girl who’d had her ass beaten and gotten spit on, the girl who had had her tooth knocked out and taken his money for dental work.

“What the fuck?” he hissed.

“Phil, it’s not—” she said, holding up a manicured slender hand with bloodred nails.

“What the fuck is this shit?” asked Phil. “What are you even doing here? With
him
?”

“Babe?”

Phil turned his head and looked at me.

“It’s going to be okay,” I told him, squeezing his fingers.

“You ready to hear me out, brother?” asked Devon, sounding hard yet hopeful.

Phil flinched at the term of endearment.

“You are,” I told him. “And no matter what you decide to do afterward, you have my full support, okay?” Then, I did something that I found a lot harder than I’d thought it would be. I let go of his hand. “I’ll be here when you need me.”

Phil breathed for a few beats, but then he nodded. “Okay.”

Camryn’s jaw dropped, and she took a few steps back. “Devon…”

Devon swung to face her. “I’ll finish the fucking tour. You can tell your
master
that. I’m not leaving Brigid to be subjected to your twisted shit without having an escape.”

“She
chose
to—”

“You keep fucking telling yourself that. I’m sure it helps you sleep better at night.”

Camryn glared at him, at all of us, and I could only guess that she was going to be running back to tell Jürgen all about what had just gone down.

Devon looked at Phil, giving him a smile that couldn’t quite reach his eyes.

Phil

Devon took me back to his bus, which I noticed wasn’t too far from ours. It was the same as when I had been in there last time, only no ex-girlfriend. Brigid’s heavy perfume still clung to the walls, but her air of vindictiveness was missing. The stacks of sheet music were back on the table, and it took all my willpower not to reach out and paw through them.

This felt fuckin’
weird.

Waving his hand at the table, he let me know I was welcome to sit. “You want something to drink? I’m making coffee.”

“Coffee’s fine.”

One of the most uncomfortable silences made itself painfully known.

What do I say to a guy whom I’ve spent the last four years hating?

The thing was…I had
liked
Devon. I didn’t want to have to hate him anymore.

Seeing Camryn…at first, I hadn’t even recognized my friend. That girl wasn’t there, like
at all
. The familiarity of the face I had looked at hit me full force. I’d realized I knew her from somewhere…and then I’d known where. The sad look in my Baby Girl’s eyes had told me that she had known and that she had desperately wanted me to know the truth, too.

Camryn…holy shit, talk about a fuckin’ wack job.

I had attached myself to some seriously fucked-up broads. I must’ve had some sort of neon sign hanging ’round my neck, stating what a fuckin’ gullible dumbass I was.

“Black, yeah?” Devon asked as he poured the fresh brew into two mugs.

I grunted in the affirmative.

He sat down across from me and busted me eyeballing his sheet music. “Brigid told me you looked over some of it,” he said. An odd sadness crept into his eyes.

“It’s some brilliant work,” I told him.

Maybe Kenna had it right. A man who could pull what he had out of thin air could have only been touched by something divine. She’d talked about the look on his face during that solo of his at Budokan, as if that were proof enough for her. I’d fuckin’ watched that shit after she’d mentioned it, and I had to admit, Devon
had
looked otherworldly. Shit had given me goose bumps.

“Glad to hear someone thinks so,” he replied.

“Yeah, it doesn’t read like anythin’ the Cannibals would be willin’ to play.”

“No.”

More weird silence.

“So, are you gonna tell me what the fuck is goin’ on, or…”

“What has Kenna told you?”

“Not a fuckin’ thing. She told me you had to tell me.”

I knew why, too. If she had told me, I might have just brushed it off as Devon trying to get one over on her. Smart woman, with her Vulcan fuckin’ logic.

At least one of us has it
, I thought.

“You need to know that I wanted to tell you from the beginning, only Jürgen…” He sighed and closed his eyes. “I’ve wanted this for so long, and now that it’s finally happening, I don’t even know what to say.”

“Just spit it out, man.”

So, he did. All of it was just laid out there. I was fuckin’ stunned. Anger and hatred and sadness all melted into one another. Then, pity and relief followed. Happiness came because I finally knew that Devon wasn’t a monster of epic proportion.

“I didn’t even know about you and Camryn, Phil. I had no idea that she and Jürgen planned the whole thing about me beating and raping her in Finland. I confronted him about it the day I spoke with Kenna. He told me he had to make you pay for hurting me, as if he actually gave a shit about my feelings. But I know he did it because he was afraid you might actually listen to me, and we’d end up being friends again.”

“What would’ve been so wrong about that?”

“He likes to have control over all of us. The other guys…he keeps them slicked with drugs, booze, and sex. It keeps them compliant. The thing was, I got clean. I quit doing coke, and for the most part, I quit drinking because it makes me want coke. He can’t control me like he used to. And when you and I were friends, he was worried you’d make me see how much better life could be without him.”

“Did I?”

Devon smiled, and again, I couldn’t understand why Brigid had been more obsessed with the last two inches of my cock over his pretty smile. If I were Kenna’s hairy fairy, Jimi, I’d be all over that shit.

“Maybe. But there are others out there who would do better by the Cannibals, who would be happy to take my place.”

“People recognize the Cannibals because of
you
, Devon. That’s the way it’s always been. Jürgen might be the front man, but you’re the fuckin’ legend. It’s a wonder he doesn’t hate you, too.”

“I’m sure he does. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, blah, blah, blah.”

“This is so fucked up.” I groaned and rubbed my hands over my face.

“I’m truly sorry, Phil. I wanted to tell you long before now. I thought if I gave you time to cool off, then you would let me explain, but you wouldn’t hear me.”

“That whole fuckin’ situation in Berlin was a wake-up call for me. I walked away from all of it, Devon. I never wanted to look back.”

Devon nodded. “Well, I’m happy you gave me the time anyway.”

“It’s not like I had a choice. Kenna wouldn’t let me touch her until I did.”

He looked at me in surprise. “Seriously?”

“Is this the face of a recently laid guy? Fuck yeah, I’m fuckin’ serious! Gave me back her engagement ring, too. Said she was puttin’ it on hold until I heard what you had to say.
Fuck
, I was pissed at her for puttin’ you between us.”

“I don’t think she saw it like that,” Devon said quietly. “I think she was putting
you
first. She knew you needed to hear the truth. I can see why she stole your heart all those years ago.”

Shoving a finger in his face, I snapped, “You best fuckin’ keep your relations with her platonic. I see how you look at her sometimes, man. I won’t kill you for the shit that went down before, but if you keep thinkin’ impure thoughts about my woman, I will not hesitate to unleash a fuckin’ smackdown, you feel me?”

Son of a bitch fuckin’ smirked at me. “I feel you, brother. Besides, her heart has clearly been given to you, and I’ve had enough of that shit with Brigid.”

“What’s the deal with you two anyway? I mean, why are you puttin’ up with her shit? And how the fuck did you two actually hook up?”

“I met her in rehab.”

“Come again?”

“Rehab. Well, a meeting actually. The night you left, I quit drugs, cold turkey. It wasn’t easy, and there are times I got close to breaking down and getting myself a fix. I’ve learned liquor’s a bit of a trigger for me, so I just stay away from it now. Anyway, I was staying in Amsterdam, and I was drinking. I was jonesing, so I went to an NA meeting. I met her there.”

“What was she in there for?”

“Smack. I guess she got into it pretty bad, and she nearly died. She was cute and sweet, and we hit it off. This was, what? Three years ago? Since then, we’ve kept in touch, and we hook up occasionally. Honest, I had no idea you used to go with her. She never mentioned it, not even when I told her about us being friends in the past.”

“Huh.”

“So, yeah. But now…”

“Now?”

“She’s with Jürgen and Camryn. I threatened to send her ass back home after that shit in Miami, and she ran straight into their open arms. I’m…I’m fucking terrified for her.”

“I gotta tell you, man. I don’t remember her bein’ such a fuckin’ head case.”

“She told me once that she had fallen for a guy who had fucked her over royally and that she wasn’t willing to put herself out there like that again. I respected that. Now, I have a feeling who that guy was.”

Heat crept up my neck and into my face. “She never acted like she loved me. I really thought it was only about the sex and money. I was cool with that because I was in love with someone else. I knew she was pissed when I left her, but I didn’t get the feelin’ I’d broken her heart or nothin’.”

“She’s too proud to show that much emotion.”

“She used to make fun of my ass behind my back. Bitched that I wouldn’t stick it in all the way and shit.”

“Well, you have to admit, it’s a bit weird, man. I’m sure a lot of chicks wondered why.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, well, the ones who bothered to ask got told it was too big.”

“What do you tell Kenna?”

“Nothin’. She gets it all.”

Devon looked impressed. “Well then, do you hurt her with it?”

“No.”

“You do know that vaginas push out tiny humans, right? Your dick isn’t
that
big.”

“I know that, asshole!”

He laughed. “Don’t feel bad. It’s still pretty fucking huge.”

I grinned. “Yeah, I know that, too.”

“So…what happens now?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. But…I feel a lot better now. About you, about everythin’. I feel like a fuckin’ idiot, believin’ Camryn was my friend. I told her a lot about myself. A lot of shit that Jürgen never needed to know.”

“I’m sorry about that, too. If I had known, I would’ve tried to warn you. She’s as horrific as Jürgen. They make a hell of a team.”

Shakin’ my head, I didn’t know what to say about that. I had put my trust and faith in some people who should never have had it.

I needed to find my Baby Girl. There was a four-carat engagement ring sitting in my pocket when it should be on her finger.

“I’m leaving the Cannibals after the tour. Jürgen probably suspects, especially now that I’ve spoken with you. But it’s not common knowledge yet.”