The Song Remains the Same (19 page)

“What’s going on?” I asked Devon quietly.

Devon held out Phil’s phone. “You’re the only one who has ‘Kashmir’ for a ringtone. What’s that all about?”

Snatching the phone from his hand, I glared. “Where is he?”

He pulled out his own phone, flipped it open, and pushed a few buttons before handing it over, too.

Brigid: Went to lunch with Phil. He lost his phone on the bus. Won’t be gone long. ;)

My heart simmered in my stomach acid. As I handed Devon his phone, I found it hard to look him in the eyes.

“If it’s any consolation, Doc, I don’t think you need to worry about your man. If I know Brigid, she probably harassed him into it.”

“He was in your bus, alone with her?”

The thought just seemed so incredible to me. Phil wouldn’t do that, not after the past few nights we’d spent together. To put me in this sort of situation, knowing how I felt about that woman—

Why would he want me to question my trust in him?

“And I’m sure she did that on purpose, too. I told her he was with you the night we all ran into each other, but Brigid doesn’t have much respect for boundaries unless she puts them up herself.”

I nodded, and he reached out to take my hand.

He squeezed it. “Will you talk to me now?”

My eyes narrowed, suspicion worming its way into my brain. “Is this another one of your setups?”

Devon shook his head. “No. I was with the band. I was supposed to take her out for burgers and shakes, but Jürgen called a meeting. No doubt, this is meant for me as much as it is for you.”

“Are
you
jealous then?”

“Maybe. And most definitely not in the way you’re thinking. Hungry?”

“Not really. Do you smoke?”

“I quit cigarettes a few years ago. Nasty habit, Doc. You should quit, too.”

I smiled. “I meant weed, dumbass.”

“Oh. Well then by all means, let’s get stoned.”

He made a step toward the bus, and I laughed.

“Uh, yeah…no. You’re not the most welcome person here, Devon. We’ll head for the clearing in the back.”

He nodded and stepped back. “I’ll just wait then.”

Turning, I took the few steps back up into the bus. There stood Lili, the look of fury on her face halting me in my tracks. Holding up my silver cigarette case, she slapped it in my hand.

“You make sure the whole fucking crew knows you’re hanging with Devon, you got me?” The tone in her voice brooked no argument.

My jaw dropped a little. “Come again?”

“Phil? Out with
Brigid
? Don’t you fucking get soft on me now, woman. I know you love him, but it’s
on
like fucking Donkey Kong. You got that?”

Impossible, but I found myself grinning.

“And you tell me everything that you two talk about,” she hissed before turning on her heel and flouncing back into the kitchen.

Pygmy always had my back.

Devon and I headed to the open grassy area that had a few picnic tables. Surrounded by trees, it was nicely concealed from the rest of the park and the prying eyes of the public. A security fence surrounded the area, too, keeping out unwanted paparazzi and crazed fans. Crew people were indeed crawling around all over, but it seemed as though we had gone unnoticed. We sat next to each other on the tabletop, our feet on the bench, and I popped a spliff between my lips and sparked it up.

“You know you have nothing to worry about with Phil, right?” Devon asked.

“Is that right?” Damn, I sounded bitter.

“Yes. And you know it, woman, so don’t even.”

“I don’t know about that. I know he cares about Brigid—”

“And he worships the ground you walk on. Any idiot with two brain cells knocking around in his head could see that. I have no doubt that she somehow manipulated him into it. As fierce as he appears, he really is a big ole softy.”

“I’m not interested in Phil right now, Devon.” That was a complete lie if I’d ever told one. “I want to know what happened, why it happened, and what the deal is with Camryn.”

“You said she was with Phil, right?”

“Yes. What he told me was that they had met on the last leg of the European tour last year and decided to be friends who would hook up when their venues crossed. He still considers her a good friend.”

“He shouldn’t. She’s here now. Did you know that?”

The look on my face must have shown my surprise. “She’s touring with you?”

He nodded. “A bit of a chameleon, that one. She’s our makeup artist, and she has been since the night she auditioned for Phil and me.”

“Yeah, I don’t get what you mean by that.”

“She’s the girl I smacked around and spit on while telling Phil that was what you deserved.”

That surprised the hell out of me.

“I find it odd that she had a relationship with him years later when she’s Jürgen’s favorite piece. How she got away with that…unless he told her to do it.”

“Why would he do that?”

“He hates Phil. I think he was terrified that Phil was going to take me away from the Cannibals, and I’ll be honest, I would have loved nothing more. But it’s more than that. Jürgen was the biggest, baddest asshole on the scene, and then Phil threatened that. Phil is bigger and better-looking, and his voice is just—”

“Phenomenal.” I sighed.

Devon grinned. “Yeah. You feel it, too, when he sings.”

“If he makes you feel the same way he makes me feel, Devon, you might want to question your sexuality.”

He busted out laughing. “Yeah, no, I can’t claim anything like that. But I understand that his voice has a certain power, and Jürgen
hates
that. His jealousy when it comes to Deveraux is unmatched. He’s furious that NOLA’s Junk is headlining. Considers it an insult since they used to open for us. He demanded that we take the top slot, but tickets didn’t sell for Cornered Cannibal. NOLA’s Junk did that.”

“Yes, they did,” I stated, my voice full of pride for Our Boys.

“Don’t say anything to anyone, but…this is the last tour I’m doing with them. I’m out. My contract ends at the end of August.”

“I won’t. It’s not my business to say anything—wait. Can I at least tell my two best friends?”

“Those girls you were sitting with at the House of Blues?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

He thought for a few beats before he nodded, too. “I guess they could be trusted, if
you
trust them.”

“What makes you say that?”

Shrugging, he replied, “I’ve become a decent judge of character over the years, Doc. I’ve had to. Phil would never just hand his heart over to anyone, and he handed that to you a long time ago. I wish I had understood that then.”

“What was the whole point of that situation?”

“Jürgen wanted to try out the new girl, and he always made us have them first. That way, he knew what he could get away with. He was considering Camryn for some stage work. If you’ve seen our old shows, you know what I’m talking about.”

I did. It was a lot like Alice Cooper, only more morbid. Cornered Cannibal would stage misogynistic beatdowns and murders, acts to incite the audience. Only after a girl had been gang-raped and beaten into a coma at one of their shows had they stopped those sort of stunts.

At least, they had on stage.

“Look, I don’t expect you to understand what it’s like with those guys. I don’t want you to. It’s not right—what I used to be a part of. Back then, I was young and stupid and coked up more often than not.”

“You believe the drug use had something to do with your behavior?”

“I know it was a big part of it. I felt like a god on that shit—invincible, sexy, ready to take on the world. It turned me into something a lot more like Jürgen, and it took meeting Phil for me to realize that. There’s a decency in Phil that not many people in this industry have. Even when we were…he couldn’t bring himself to truly degrade or hurt those women even though that was what we were paying them for.”

Devon turned inward, carefully thinking about what he wanted to say next. I took the time to take a few hits off the joint.

With a heavy sigh, he continued, “I drew the lot that night to break in the new girl, and Jürgen wanted her to fucking perform for it. He told her what he was looking for and that he’d hire her for the stage job if she could convince Phil. He knew Phil and I liked to find girls together. I had no idea how much he hated Phil back then.

“So, yeah, the girl was Camryn. She had red hair back then, wore a lot of makeup. She’s really good at changing up her appearance. She switches looks with Jürgen’s moods. He appreciates that sort of thing.”

“So, Phil had no idea what was happening—”

“Fake blood, and she was so good. She stored Chiclets—you know, the gum?—in her cheeks. Brilliant performance really. Even I was impressed. I got into it, you know? So much so, I dragged you into it, thinking I’d kill two birds with one stone.”

“Why would you think that would kill it for him?”

“I had no idea. I was thinking stupid shit. I thought if he could just get you out of his system, then maybe he’d be happier. He was never truly happy, Kenna. I cared enough about him to want to change that. I just went about it all wrong.

“In the end, Jürgen was delighted, Camryn was hired, and Phil was out of the picture. Maybe Jürgen had hoped for that all along, but I think he really wanted to take Phil so far over the edge that he’d self-destruct. So, perhaps it was a good thing our friendship blew up when it had.”

Passing the spliff over, I couldn’t really understand the bit of fucked up that was Jürgen Wilhelmsen.

So what if something bigger and better came along?

The music differences between the two bands were such that it really shouldn’t matter. Some die-hard Cornered Cannibal fans out there thought NOLA’s Junk was shit. The guys didn’t care about that. They weren’t in a competition.

“What’s on your mind?” Devon asked.

“How did Phil not realize it was Camryn?”

He shrugged. “Like I said, she’s a chameleon. What’s this shit about me raping and beating her?”

“In Finland. You all were staying in the same hotel—”

“We had a few shows together there, yeah.”

“And Phil had been seeing her since the tour took them to Great Britain, I think.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. NOLA’s opened for us then in London. Mostly club circuits.”

“Well, he told me that, in Finland, she wound up going back to your room with you, that you had told her there was a party or something going on, that he was there already. She went with you and discovered no party, but you beat her up and raped her. She ended up banging on Phil and X’s door, claiming all of this, and delivered the message that she was his debt paid for taking away your toy the last time.”

Devon looked ill. “That’s fucking bullshit.”

“That’s why he really refuses to speak to you. He told me that, after everything, he never realized that you were capable of something like that.”

“I get it now. I know who’s behind that fucking stunt, too. Jürgen knew I wanted to tell Phil that it wasn’t real, that I wanted my friend back. And he knew I was clean and growing a pair big enough to leave the band.”

“Why haven’t you before now?”

“Because…Jürgen’s very persuasive.”

“He doesn’t know you plan on leaving?”

Devon shook his head. “I’ve given him the impression that it might all work out if I can have my own bus and stay away from the rest of the shit.”

“I understand. I can hold off on telling my friends.”

He smiled, and right then, I sort of wished I
could
feel something more than friendship for him. It’d serve Phil right, going out with his disgustingly beautiful ex for lunch, leaving his phone in Devon’s bus. He had been in there with her, just the two of them…

No, I don’t think I’m ready to forgive him for this. This hurts more than I’d like to admit, even to myself.

“So…what’s the deal with Brigid?” I asked, an acidic taste forming in my mouth from just mentioning her name.

“Have you
seen
her? She’s here to look pretty for me. I got to have
something
to do. Having a wank in a sock gets old after a while.”

“Ugh!” I laughed. “I could have gone the rest of my life…shit, I’ll never look at a sock the same way again.”

“Glad to have been the man who ruined them for you.”

Just then, I was struck with an epiphany. “My fucking
brother
…I wondered why his socks were so dried up and crusty when we did laundry. I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Devon started to lose it with belly-rumbling deep laughter.

“I’m guessing you didn’t know Brigid was Phil’s ex?”

Still laughing, Devon shook his head. “No clue.” Wiping a stray tear from his eye, he sobered up a little. “She told me afterward that they went together years ago. Just my fucking luck, too. He and I always had the same taste in women. Apparently, it didn’t end too nicely for her.”

“No, that’s my understanding.”

“My guess is, it was because of you.”

“That’s what I was told,” I replied, sounding as though perhaps I no longer believed it.