The Sound of Shooting Stars (19 page)

I cut her off, “No she doesn’t.”

She chuckles, “Oh God, you are such a guy. Of course she does. I’ve watched her now for over a month pining after you when you’re not looking. Especially in English, she turns around when you aren’t looking and stares at you.”

I look over to where Beckett was but she’s gone. The last time she decided it was safe to go somewhere with that guy she ended up getting attacked. I look over at Sam and she smiles uneasily, “Alright, go find her. I’ll be right here with my good friend, Corona.” She holds the bottle up before downing another gulp.

I squeeze her hand and warn, “Slow down.” Then I head for the living room. My footing falters as relief at the sight of Beckett across the room greets me. She turns to stare at me with a blank look but Brett’s arms cross around her middle and he leans into her neck. I look away unable to watch as she allows this. I’m disgusted at myself that I thought for a moment that Beckett was different than the bitch I laid eyes upon that first time I saw her with that fake smile.

A hand wraps around my shoulders as I turn to face Trina’s cheery expression. She leans in and whispers, “Hey Jamie, glad you made it after all. Do you want to go out back with me?”

I nod as she smiles widely. I don’t bother looking at Beckett again. Whatever happens, I won’t be her hero this time. She can find someone else to save her. I have enough battles to fight without hers too.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Beckett Chase

Ara – The Altar

Ara represents the altar on which Zeus and other gods vowed to defeat the Titans and overthrow Cronus, who ruled the universe.

~*~

The moment the sea air hit my lungs I was ready to keel over and retch across the balcony. Not because of anything I ate but for Jamie. He has affected me way more than I had intended. I had such an urge to run after him and beg him to forget what he saw, ignore that I let Brett hold me and kiss me. Instead, I took the easy way out because, I never considered Jamie in my plan. I didn’t think the feelings I’ve been pushing away would surface but this did it and the fact that he went off with Trina kills me. I deserve this though. I deserve to be alone for what I have done to Sam and now him.

Brett’s hand runs over my shoulder in a circle. I flinch and pull away leaning over the railing again.

His voice comes out lazily, “Hey Beckett, are you alright?”

I nod unable to find my own voice. Then I hear heels clopping across the wooden planks underneath and a scratchy voice, “Hey Brett, can I have a talk with Beckett?”

I turn and lean into the railing. Dani’s amused expression meets mine. Brett looks over to me and asks, “Are you alright with this?”

“Yep.” My lungs fill as my heart speeds up.
This is it, the moment of truth. Only one chance.

Brett walks back into the house and glances back one last time. I assure him with a wide smile and look over to Dani, as if we’ve spoken every day for the past month and ask, “Hi, what’s up?”

She looks around as if frustrated to see if anyone is close. We are relatively alone. A couple is on the other side of the porch with their tongues stuck down each other’s throats. I doubt they have any intention of listening in.

She turns back to me, stepping up close. I can smell her flowery perfume and the beer she must have just drunk.

“What’s the deal Beckett? What are you trying to prove? I know you aren’t sleeping with him. I’ve established that fact. You had to be drugged to give it up to Jake. If people really knew how much of a prude you really are...” This hurts me but I realize Dani sent Trina to tell me about Jake today. I did think Jake liked me. I knew when he went back to Sam that it was a lie but still it kills me to know that I wasn’t in control when it did happen.

I move half a step down the railing and feign ignorance, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not trying to prove anything. You might want to check and see where you are getting your facts.” My anger is swelling now facing her after what Trina told me. It is nearly impossible for me to hold myself back from hitting her.

Her face contorts into a scowl, “I know as well as you do that you do not date. Why is Brett going around telling everyone that you are his girlfriend now?”

I square my shoulders, “Because I am.” Admitting that puts a terrible taste in my mouth but I refuse to let her see it.

“I don’t believe you.”

“No one said you have to believe me Dani. I could care less.”

She laughs, “I think you care a whole lot more than you are letting everyone see. Did you forget that I know you Beckett? We were together every day for two years. I can read you like a book.”

It’s my turn to laugh, “Likewise Dani.”

She turns away pissed for a moment. But a new snide grin spreads as she taunts, “Well I thought you should know that Jamie is cozy with Trina on the beach right now. I guess he didn’t really want you after all or maybe he discarded you after he was done.” She laughs and muses, “No, he knew he could get it from Trina and that he won’t get anything from you.”

If I thought the disgust earlier left me feeling ill, I was mistaken. Now I want nothing more than to make this terrible feeling in my middle go away.

I take a step back toward her and admit, “You know, not that it really matters, but nothing ever happened between Jamie and I. When I told Trina to go for it, I meant it. I’m glad she finally took my advice.”

She frowns and turns on her heel, marching back to the house. Brett walks out the door at that exact moment and she claims loud enough for me to hear, “That’s some girlfriend you got there Brett. Any chance you’d like to switch sides? Bet I can give you more than you’re getting from her.”

She doesn’t give him a chance to answer. She winks at him and walks away. I quickly climb down the stairs and dry heave into the bushes. Brett comes up behind me sure to keep his distance, “Um Beckett, are you alright? Do you ah, can I get you anything?”

I shake my head. In between my heavy breathing I tell him, “Maybe you should go back in. I’m not feeling well. I think I need to go home.”

He stands behind me a moment longer before relenting, “Okay, I’ll ah, call you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” The heaving starts again. His footfalls up the steps slowly disappear.

When I straighten back up a shadow is coming down the steps softly. I lean back down on my knees scared that Brett is back. Instead a high-pitched voice that I haven’t heard in a long time asks, “Beckett, are you okay?”

I spin around to face Samantha. She looks truly concerned. This is the first look other than a frown or scowl that I’ve gotten from her in over a year.

“Yeah, I think I ate something bad.”

She hesitates for a moment as if struggling to say something. Finally she asks, “Are the rumors true? Are you dating Brett now?”

Inwardly I cower at her question but tell her, “Yes, I am.”

“Oh.” She pivots to walk back up the steps but freezes. She looks back at me sadly. Her tone comes out strong when she tells me, “That’s too bad. I think Jamie feels the same way about you.”

Before I can respond she’s back up the stairs and walking into the house. Her words put my stomach into a full spin and I lean over again. Oh God, what did I do? I think I’ve really messed up this time.

Once my stomach has calmed a bit I climb up the steps to find a bathroom. I need to go home but I need water to wash this awful taste from my mouth. I slip in and climb the closest set of stairs to the second floor. I grab the handle of the first door I approach in the darkened hall and turn. It gives easily. But I find that it’s not a bathroom. I’m greeted with two faces I know very well and they are not clothed. Jake looks up as a sliver of light bathes the room. The black hair slayed underneath him tells me all I need to know. My stomach lurches even more as I close the door and hurry further down the hall. When I find the bathroom, I quickly empty the contents of my stomach.

I sit when I’m finished afraid to go out into the hall. Why would Trina ask me if I am sleeping with Jake when it’s really Dani? Maybe Trina doesn’t know. I stand and wash my mouth out glancing into the mirror. I don’t look so good. Maybe I am sick after all.

 Carefully I slip back out into the safety of my car, numb now from everything that has happened. They all played right into my plan with the exception of Jamie and Samantha. If I stay on course, Dani will soon be wishing she never met me but I’m torn at the thought of Jamie. Hopefully my mom will mention Samantha to Michelle and he’ll have a new home soon.

When I pull into the drive to my house I step out of the car and linger for a moment not really wanting to go into the house. Finally my legs traipse across the yard. The white moon shines brightly against the black sky. It casts long shadows across the cool grass. My feet press forward through the dried and brittle undergrowth. I make my way down the small incline to the dock and notice the serene water with barely a ripple. I lower myself to the hard boards, leaning against a cement piling and look up trying to spy any stars. It’s difficult because of the moon’s light but a few sparkle in the depths of the blackness beyond.

Sadness spreads at the thought of the hole I’ve managed to dig.  I lower my body to the floorboards as my hands move to cushion my head and my eyelids lower. A few minutes later they pop open at the sound of a car door. Jamie must be home. I sit up to see the tail lights of Sam’s car flash off with the alarm. A figure obscures my view and I realize Jamie is walking towards me. He picks up his pace at the edge of the yard. I push to stand up and my heart starts beating faster. As he gets closer his expression registers a myriad of emotions. The most I’ve ever seen. He looks angry but also worried. Finally he comes within a foot of me and stops. Something else passes over his face, a question. His voice comes out softly, “Beckett, I can’t do this anymore. You make me crazy.”

My eyes widen wondering what he means. Sam’s words pass through my mind… ‘he feels the same about you’. Could he feel the same things that I do? I’m not sure how I feel; actually I’ve been avoiding my feelings for him.  If I make him crazy then he probably doesn’t feel the same. I basically schemed to get him removed from my house. But my face flushes and my heart starts pumping faster as he takes a step forward. I can smell his woodsy scent mixed with a flourish of spice which turns my brain to mush.

He leans in slowly, his cheek caressing mine and whispers into my ear, “I want to kiss you Beckett.”

My breathing speeds up at his words and my face shifts slightly allowing his lips to gently touch mine. My eyes close with the light brush. His hands move to tenderly hold my face. He pulls me closer his tongue running fluidly over my lips. My mouth opens as he deepens the kiss. In that moment it is as if we were made for each other. Our mouths move together perfectly as my hands wrap around his neck digging swiftly into his thick hair. His hands move around my back and delicately caress my bare shoulders. In one swift movement he is lowering us to the dock. He sits cradling me in his limbs not breaking our connection.

We kiss gingerly exploring each other with hands and mouths. Finally, when we pull apart for air Jamie states with his green stare piercing my soul, “I have to know something.”

I’m so overwhelmed with my feelings for him that I whisper, “Anything.”

“Why are you telling everyone you’re dating Brett? You aren’t dating him, are you?”

Before I can answer sadness seems to cloud his features. His question slams into me the reality of what I was, am, trying to accomplish. I pull away a little further, sad that he had to ask this question.

“Jamie, it’s really complicated.”

He frowns and attempts to move away, forcing me to move from his lap. My body suddenly misses the warmth. He attempts to stand but I grab his hand and pull him forward.

“Wait Jamie, don’t go. Please let me explain.”

He sinks back down but moves farther away from me, “Fine. I can’t believe you would consider it after what he did to you.”

I look away ashamed but suddenly need him to understand.

“Remember the story of Cassiopeia?”

He nods and states, “The constellation is on your ceiling.”

I smile that he remembers, “It is. Remember she made a sacrifice, Andromeda, her daughter to the sea monster because she had to save her home.”

“Well Brett is my sacrifice. I want back in. Dani has taken everything from me and this is the only way to get it all back.”

He scoots closer to me with compassion across his face. His hand comes up caressing the side of my face, “Why do you care so much Beckett?”

A tear runs down my cheek, “Jamie, it’s been awful. One minute I was at the top and the next I was at the bottom with no one. Just like that star that fell from my ceiling. I don’t want that, not when I know what it’s like at the top.”

His lips gently graze mine as he mutters, “Beckett Chase, what am I going to do with you? You infuriate me but I’m tired of fighting this.”