The Spanish Aristocrat's Woman (11 page)

She went back to him, putting her arms around his waist and hugging him. He sighed and hugged her back and she thought that maybe things would be okay. “I know this has been a long day.”

“Yes it has.”

“What can I do to help you out?” she asked. She was going to ignore the fact that Elvira was in the home that he shared with her. Try to ignore the fact that the woman who’d made her courtship with him so difficult was now sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms.

“Just give me some time to sort everything out.”

She drew back from him. “What do you need to sort out?”

“The stuff with my family and Elvira.”

“Gui? What are you saying?”

“That she’s going to need me.”

“Okay. What will she need from you that she can’t get from her other friends?”

“We were close,
mi dulce.
”

“I understand that. And you know what? You may have been right when you said I was jealous,” she said, realizing that she was going to have to be totally honest with him. Because if he was going to spend time with Elvira, she was going to have a hard time dealing with it. She understood grief, but right now she needed Gui to reassure her. She was almost certain their wedding would have to be postponed, and she really wanted to hear him say he still wanted her.

“I know.”

“Gui, I’m trying to have a conversation here.”

“I’m trying, too. You mentioned your jealousy of Elvira before, when she sent you that gift.”

“That wasn’t jealousy. She was trying to undermine our relationship.”

He shook his head. “You need to stop thinking everything is about you.”

“I’m not making everything about me. But tonight, parts of this are. I think we have to talk about our wedding, because I can’t imagine celebrating our lives together a day or two after your family attends a funeral. And that seems like a pretty important thing to discuss, Gui.”

“I agree. It is important. I hadn’t even thought about our wedding. We should definitely postpone it.”

His words cut pretty deep, but then she remembered that he didn’t believe in love. God, why couldn’t she have remembered that earlier? Before she’d let herself fall in love with him?

“You forgot about it? I think that says everything I needed to hear.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and she knew he had to be exhausted from the day. But she wasn’t sure where they stood, and she didn’t want to go to bed with doubt in her mind.

“I was worried about Alonzo.”

She nodded. “I understand. Perhaps we should save this conversation for the morning. I’m tired and upset about everything as well.”

“Good idea.”

“Can I get you anything tonight?”

“No, thank you. I’ll see you for breakfast.”

She nodded and left him there. Nothing had been settled between them, and she was afraid to walk away. But it seemed that, no matter what Gui might need from her, what he wanted right now was to be left alone.

“Vincent.”

“The Countess has asked that you go see her.”

“I will. After I have supper with Kara.”

“Ms. deMontaine has asked not to be disturbed for the rest of the evening. I believe she has gone to bed.”

“Did anything happen I need to know of?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Very well. I will go to the Countess.”

Gui didn’t understand women. And after tonight, he doubted he’d be any closer to that.

He rapped on Elvira’s door. Her voice, soft and weak, called out to him. He opened the door and walked inside. It was as dark as his den had been earlier, but this room didn’t feel welcoming. He could see Elvira from the light she’d left on in the adjoining bathroom. She was reclining on the chaise longue and had a box of tissues at her side.

Even though she’d been crying all evening, she still looked incredibly beautiful.

“Oh, Guillermo. Thank you for coming back. I’m not sure I can sleep tonight.”

He had no idea what to say to her. “I misjudged your relationship with Juan all these years.”

“Many people did. It was true that I flirted a lot, but that kept Juan on his toes. And he always made me the center of his world.”

Gui could understand that, because it mirrored the relationship they had had years before. Jealousy and passion, the two things that Elvira inspired in all men. “I’m not sure how I’m going to survive without him.”

“You will make it. You’re a strong woman.”

“Yes, I am. Everyone always compliments me on that.”

There was nothing wrong with her ego even now, when she was clearly upset. He had a new respect for Elvira, seeing the depth of her grief for Juan. “You really did love him.”

She was startled by his comment. Hell, so was he. He hadn’t intended to speak out loud.

“Yes, I did.” She sat up and patted the chaise next to her. “At first I did turn to him to make you jealous, but he understood me in ways you never tried to.”

Gui sat down next to her. “I didn’t love you, Elvira.”

“I know that. I always have known it. Juan treated me like a queen.”

“Exactly as you deserve.”

“Every woman deserves that, Gui. Don’t you forget it. I haven’t been that kind to you over the years…A part of me wanted you to feel the same kind of pain I did when you left me.”

“I did,” he said.

She shook her head. “No you didn’t. You were too full of yourself, and, to be fair, I was, too. We both thought the other would bend. I figured Juan would make you offer marriage. You thought that I’d back off of my demands when you came back.”

He shrugged. As he’d said to Kara, this was ancient history. “We weren’t meant to be a couple. I think we would have killed each other if we’d tried to live together.”

“That’s true. I owe your fiancée an apology.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t made things easy for her. Juan told me to leave it alone but I…I was so jealous that you’d marry her and never even offered for me. I know that I had no right to that. You aren’t the right man for me, but I couldn’t stand that.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because it caused a row between Juan and me, and now he’s gone, Gui.” Elvira started to cry again. “And I’m not going to be able to apologize and make up with him. But you still have your lover, and I don’t want my actions to hurt another relationship.”

Her words made him realize what she was saying. That life was way too short to fight over the unimportant things. She had loved Juan, and Juan had loved her back. That was what mattered.

But he had never believed in love and had the feeling that love was the only thing that was going to make things right between him and Kara.

And he couldn’t give her that. He could buy her sports cars and jewelry, but emotions were harder for him. Especially after a day like today, when he realized how painful it was to really care about anyone outside his family.

But one thing he did know was that he didn’t want to lose Kara. It was funny that up until this moment he hadn’t realized how important she was to him. But compared to Elvira…Well, there was no comparison.

“Are you comfortable in this room?”

“Yes. Thank you for letting me come here tonight. I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”

“Where will you go?”

“Back to my home. My sister will be there first thing. I have to start planning the service for Juan…”

She teared up again and he reached out and hugged her to his side. She was too small in his arms. She didn’t fit him perfectly, the way that Kara did. And he realized that he was impatient to say good-night to Elvira because he wanted—no, needed—to get back to Kara.

Kara fit him like a glove. Not just during sex, which was important, of course, but also in his life. She softened his rough edges and made him a better man.

And he was ready to start acting like that better man. Like a man that she’d be proud to have at her side. And he owed her a real apology for his remarks earlier. He knew better than to lose his temper. He always said things he regretted. He should never have done it with her.

Kara was the most important thing in his life. How could he not have realized it before?

A few minutes later, he left Elvira and went upstairs to Kara’s room. He opened the door and found the room dark and quiet.

“Kara?”

He heard her quiet breaths. Thinking she was sleeping, he closed the door and went into his own room, promising himself he’d make up for his surly behavior first thing in the morning.

She knew that Gui had only been comforting the other woman, but she could imagine the unkind comparisons between her and Elvira before they even started. And she had enough issues with the way she looked to endure days of unrelenting media comparisons. So she’d made a few calls, packed an overnight bag and asked Vincent to call her a car. She also left a note for Gui, telling him she would see him sometime after Juan’s funeral. Perhaps it was petty of her, but she didn’t think she could bear watching him take care of Elvira during the funeral and pretend all was well.

She took a cab from the house in the early hours of dawn. The sun was just coming up over the horizon when she reached the airport. She had a ticket to Monte Negro, where she had ordered a yacht several months ago. She would pick it up and then take her time sailing back to Spain. She needed to be alone where she could let her guard down and try to figure out what was going on in her life.

Could she really marry the man she loved when that man didn’t love her? A man who could always have women who were prettier and skinnier than she was on his arm?

And was she going to be the confident woman who had stood in front of her lover on the balcony wearing nothing but moonlight, or was she going to revert to the woman she’d always been, that shy and insecure girl who thought that she’d never have a chance to walk down the aisle as a bride in a pretty white dress?

Yet Gui made her feel like she was beautiful and sexy. Not in a way that the entire world recognized, but in a way that happened only between a man and a woman who were meant for one another.

She felt tears sting the back of her eyes. That made her mad. Why didn’t he see how perfect they were for each other? They could have a marriage based on feelings so much deeper than the superficial arrangements so many in their social set found acceptable.

Why couldn’t he acknowledge what he felt for her?

Her cell phone rang and she glanced at the caller ID before answering. “Hello, Rina.”

“Kara, where are you? Gui is frantic. He’s been calling everyone we know.”

She felt stupid now. She’d ignored Gui’s calls because she hadn’t wanted to talk to him. Hadn’t wanted to hear him tell her again that she was jealous of Elvira.

“I’m at the airport. I needed to get away for a few days. Yesterday was so long, and Gui is dealing with a bunch of stuff.”

“Kara?”

“Yes?”

“What the hell is going on with you? I thought you loved Gui. That you were determined to marry him. Isn’t that what you told me?”

“Yes it is. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything, baby sister. You can’t run away the first time he doesn’t act like your knight in shining armor. You aren’t living in a fairy tale, Kara. This is real life. It’s messy and it doesn’t follow a script.”

“I know that.”

“Then act like it. Go back home and talk to him. Running away has never solved anything, has it?”

“No, it hasn’t. But there are some things that even I can’t fix.”

Rina didn’t say anything for a moment and Kara heard the call for the first-class passengers on her flight to board. Was she going? She had no idea. Part of what her sister said made sense. But staying meant dealing not only with Gui and the fact that she’d left, but also with the reporters and Elvira. And she wasn’t sure she was ready for all of that.

“Tell me what they are.”

“Rina, you can’t fix my problems.”

“Of course not. But Gui can. I told him he had to make you happy.”

“He has.”

“He isn’t right now.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want to know what you need to be happy, and then I’ll call Gui and tell him to do it.”

She almost cried at her sister’s words. Didn’t she realize that telling Gui what she needed to be happy wasn’t the solution? “I need him to figure it out on his own, Rina. If I have to tell him how to fix what’s bothering me, then we’ll never really be happy together.”

“What do
you
want?” Rina asked.

The attendants started general boarding of her flight, and she picked up her overnight bag and moved toward the line of passengers.

“Kara? Don’t leave him. Not yet. Go back there and talk to him.”

“I can’t, Rina.”

“Why not?”

“Because he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t believe in that kind of emotion, and that’s the only thing that will make the things he said to me last night disappear. And it would make the things that the media always says about me seem not important.

“But he’s not that kind of man, and I’ve just realized that I am not the kind of woman who can compromise on this. Falling in love with Gui was the most powerful thing I’ve ever experienced, and to know that he doesn’t feel the same way for me…I just can’t stay.”

Rina took a deep breath. “Oh, honey. I warned you about men like—”

“Please don’t say you told me so. I thought you were warning me because I am fat and he’d never fall for a big girl.”

“Kara Evelyn deMontaine, you aren’t fat and I will not tolerate you saying that.”

“Rina—”

“No. Enough of that kind of stupid comment. I warned you off of Gui because I thought he couldn’t commit to one woman, and I didn’t want to see you hurt.”

“I love you, Rina.”

“I love you, too, Kara. Be safe wherever you decide to go.”

She said goodbye to her sister and eyed the line to board the plane. Was she really going to leave behind the only man she loved?