Read The Stag and Hen Weekend Online
Authors: Mike Gayle
‘Are you sure about later?’
‘One hundred per cent.’
‘The girls will be devastated.’
Helen smiled. ‘They’ll be fine, if you keep them distracted.’
The two women hugged.
‘You take care okay?’ said Yaz. ‘And if you need anything, just call me.’
Reaching her room, Helen lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. It felt good to be out of the sun for a while and the cool of her air-conditioned room seemed to take away the residual anger that she had felt towards Caitlin. Now she was able to pity her, as she would any human being so full of resentment they couldn’t see the good in anyone.
Helen took out her phone and switched it on. There was a text from her boss asking if she was having a good time and another from a phone company offering a new phone deal but still nothing from Phil. Although rationally she knew better than to read anything into this continuing lack of communication, she couldn’t help but conclude that whatever else he was doing at this particular moment, he wasn’t thinking about her and in this post-detox emotional state this almost reduced her to tears.
The only way forward was to distract herself. She switched on the TV and started flicking around the channels and was relieved when she came across the film
All About Eve
, easily her favourite Barbara Stanwyck movie. Drawing the curtains, she made herself a cup of tea and climbed underneath her duvet to watch the film and there she remained for the best part of an hour until there was a knock at the door.
Helen’s first instinct was to ignore it, but when the knocking persisted she opted to answer it on the off chance it was an emergency.
Helen grabbed a towelling dressing gown from the bathroom door and was still tying the belt around her waist as she looked through the peephole and saw not just one face but many looking back at her. It was the girls.
‘I tried to tell them you were ill,’ explained Yaz plaintively as they flooded into Helen’s room. ‘But I don’t think they bought it.’
‘Listen girls,’ said Helen sitting on the bed as they all surrounded her. ‘Don’t think this show of solidarity isn’t appreciated, but as I said to Yaz earlier, I’m not interested in battling with Caitlin. She’s a mean, hard-hearted cow who needs taking down a peg or two but that doesn’t mean that I have to be the person to do it.’
‘All that’s fine,’ said Heather, ‘but why does she get to spoil your hen weekend just because she’s Phil’s sister?’
‘Heather’s right,’ chipped in Ros. ‘We came here for
you
this weekend. There’s no way Caitlin should be dictating proceedings.’
‘I know it’s not ideal,’ began Helen but so many of the girls added their voices to the protest that she couldn’t be heard.
‘The fact of the matter is this,’ said Heather, ‘we’d rather stay in our rooms and not go out at all than go out without you.’
Helen looked to Yaz for some support but Yaz shook her head. ‘Don’t look at me,’ she said grinning. ‘I’m with them. I don’t want to go to some posh restaurant without you. It wouldn’t be the same.’
Helen surrendered. If she had been feeling despair an hour earlier, then this was the complete opposite. All these old friends, all their good will, it really meant something. There was no way she could turn them down.
‘Okay, okay, I’ll go’ she said grinning. ‘But if that scrawny cow so much as looks at me funny I can’t guarantee that I won’t smack her one.’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Yaz, ‘if she does anything wrong you’ll have to join the queue to get to her.’
12.
Helen knocked on the door to Yaz’s room so that they could go down to reception together. Although the prospect of the evening ahead filled her with dread, little of it was due to Caitlin. Yes, Caitlin would be her usual mean-spirited self but it was Aiden’s presence that truly set her on edge. No good would come of him sharing whatever was on his mind and while her natural curiosity was piqued she determined to override it. Her mission tonight was simple: avoid Aiden.
Yaz looked amazing in a black top with chiffon sleeves and black trousers and Helen told her so.
‘You look great too,’ she said, admiring Helen’s outfit. Helen had been uncertain about diverting from her usual smart trousers and top combo in favour of a dove grey soft drape dress teamed with strappy heels. It was, she was aware, more of a sexy look than was her usual and this had been exactly why she had bought it to wear for the meal tonight, knowing that surrounded by her closest friends, she wouldn’t have to feel self-conscious. But Caitlin inviting Aiden to the meal had changed everything. Now Helen was veering between defiance that she had every right to dress the way she wanted, to anxiety that her choice of clothing would send out the wrong signals. Decades of feminism and the supportive comments of her friend eventually won over. ‘Phil is the luckiest man in the world getting to come home to you every day.’
The moment she heard Phil’s name Helen’s stomach tightened into a ball. Much as she resented this neediness that seemed to have bubbled up from the depths of her subconscious, she really did wish that he had called her back. His lack of communication was yet another issue for her already overstretched emotional resources.
The two women made their way over to the meeting place over loud applause from the rest of the girls, much to the hotel staff’s amusement. There was no sign of Catlin yet and so seizing the opportunity Helen called over one of the porters, handed him her camera and asked him to take a photo of them. As the flash went off Helen knew even without seeing the evidence that what had been captured was a proper Kodak moment: all of her oldest, closest friends gathered together in one spot ready to have a good time. A rare thing and something to be treasured.
The girls were all still cackling and making outrageous comments to the porter as Caitlin emerged from the lift.
‘What did I miss?’
‘Nothing,’ replied Helen quickly. ‘We were just messing about, that’s all. You look great.’
Caitlin smiled but there was no compliment in return. She glanced around the lobby clearly looking for signs of Aiden but didn’t say as much to Helen.
‘What time are the cabs booked for?’
‘About now,’ said Helen.
Caitlin nodded. ‘Right, we’ll I’m just going to check my make-up. I’ll be back in a minute.’
Helen was tempted to herd the girls into a cab the moment she was gone but before Caitlin had taken a step Aiden appeared at the top of the stairs. He was wearing a black suit and tie matched with a white shirt that instantly recalled Phil’s Reservoir Dog outfit. Helen swallowed hard. It was as if the universe was doing all it could do to tip her over the edge.
‘I’m not late, am I?’
‘No,’ said Helen. ‘You’re right on time.’
He kissed her on the cheek. His skin felt soft and his aftershave smelt light and citrusy. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She determined never to get that close to him again.
Caitlin moved expectantly into his orbit and Aiden kissed her too. Helen glanced at her watch. How was she ever going to get through this night when it already felt like it had gone on too long?
Aiden smiled. ‘Are you sure you’re okay with me coming tonight?’ he asked. ‘I’m sure these things are usually girls only but Caitlin here was very insistent.’
‘Of course,’ said Helen graciously. ‘The more the merrier. Although shouldn’t you be out with your friends?’
‘I said I’d catch up with them later. Things never really get going with that lot until the early hours.’
Helen looked at her watch again and peered outside. There were two limousines parked outside but no sign of the taxis Yaz had ordered. ‘I’d better go and check on the cabs,’ said Helen. ‘It looks like they’re running a bit late.’
‘ ‘Fraid not, fella,’ said Aiden. ‘They’re not coming.’
‘And you’d know this because?’
‘I sorted those bad boys out front by way of an early wedding present instead.’
Shocked, Helen stepped forward to take another look at the limousines. With their blacked-out windows they were the kinds of cars celebrities emerged from looking radiant at red carpet events. This was so typical of Aiden. Big gestures had always been his thing.
‘It’s very kind of you,’ she said. ‘But it’s too much, Aiden. We’ll be fine as we are.’
‘Too late,’ he replied. ‘They’re paid for and you’ve got them for the night.’
‘You’ll have to forgive my sister-in-law,’ said Caitlin sidling closer to Aiden. ‘She’s just not used to the high life. They are fantastic, and it’s a lovely gesture. Of course we’ll take them.’
‘Plus,’ said Aiden guiltily, ‘I’ve already cancelled your other cars so I’m afraid you’re stuck with them.’
Helen sighed. She hadn’t even left the hotel and already the evening was turning weird. Why was Aiden trying so hard with her? Was it guilt or was there something more?
‘What’s going on?’ asked Yaz. ‘Everything okay?’
Helen gestured to the limousines. ‘Grab your stuff, girls. Looks like we’ve just been upgraded.’
Helen had been desperate to visit their destination for the evening, the Michelin starred restaurant La Salle de Classe ever since she had read rave reviews of its opening in several Sunday newspapers at the beginning of the year. Around her birthday she had hinted to Phil that he should take her there but despite many lovely gifts and surprises from her fiancé (although she had to admit the La Perla underwear he had bought that was two sizes too small had gone down like a lead balloon) the big day had come and gone without the requisite visit. So when Yaz had asked for ideas about restaurants for the second night of the hen weekend Helen got out her laptop, typed the name and its address into Google Maps. Once she was sure that the journey was doable in a taxi, she gave the details to Yaz with orders to book it straight away.
The journey to the restaurant was suspiciously incident free although it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Helen that when she, together with Lorna and Kerry, had climbed into the first car, Aiden had climbed in straight afterwards quickly followed by Caitlin. For most of the journey Caitlin locked Aiden into her conversational orbit leaving Helen to chat with her friends while exchanging increasingly excited texts with the second car following behind. Every once in a while Aiden attempted to break free of Caitlin and join Helen’s conversation, but even his extensive verbal skills were no match for Caitlin, and with a surgical skill that betrayed her borderline sociopathic tendencies she made sure that the conversation came back to her and only ever had two participants.
It was just after eight o’clock as the limos pulled up in front of the large plate glass windows of their destination.
‘What’s this place like?’ asked Aiden peering into the packed restaurant. ‘Anyone eaten here before?’
‘I think it’s new for all of us,’ replied Helen. ‘But I for one can’t wait to get inside.’
The décor of La Salle de Classe was as high end as its food and as she waited to be seated Helen fell in lust with so many of the fixtures and fittings that had she possessed a screwdriver and a much larger handbag some of the items she coveted would have quickly been liberated.
As the maître d’ arrived to show them to their table Yaz took control of the seating plan. Helen as guest of honour was at the head of the table with Yaz on one side and Heather on the other, whilst Aiden and Caitlin were tucked at the opposite end as far away from Helen as possible. Carla, Ros and Heather set the tone for the rest of the evening by ordering champagne to toast the bride to be.
The meal was stunning and Helen found herself enthusing about the beetroot and caramel sauce on her wild sea bass long after the waiter had handed out the dessert menus.
The girls had done such a good job of keeping her wine glass topped up and entertaining her with stories from the past that she had barely taken any notice of Caitlin and while Aiden had once or twice tried to attract her attention, she had so far managed to avoid making eye contact. As the waiter cleared away the dessert plates and took coffee orders she began to feel that she was home and dry.
It was at this point that her plans started to unravel. Some of the girls began talking about the next stage of the evening, given that it was only half past ten, and a consensus began to form that the only fitting conclusion to the evening would involve going on somewhere else. Helen tried to hint that she wanted to go back to the hotel but the girls were so emboldened by alcohol that the idea assumed a life of its own with suggestions ranging from heading to the nearest wine bar through to going clubbing in Buxton’s one and only nightclub. In the end a compromise was struck; they would go clubbing but not in Buxton and after half an hour of Aiden making various calls to people in the know, they got back in the limousines and made the fifty-minute trip to a Manchester club where he had got them on the guest list.
Helen knew all she had to do to put a stop to this madness was play the ‘It’s my party card’ and the girls would fall into line. She didn’t want to go clubbing at all and certainly not in Manchester with her ex-boyfriend and her borderline insane future sister-in-law. But her friends were having such a good time that she found herself saying feebly, ‘Okay, if we aren’t back too late.’ Before she could change her mind, a club hits CD was on the sound system and a bottle of champagne from the car’s drinks cabinet was being popped open.