Read The Stainless Steel Rat Saves The World Online
Authors: Harry Harrison
The Stainless Steel Rat Saves The World (15 page)
“They are here with me.”
“Well, wheel the pram in!”
“The babies,” she said as they entered, with what I detected as a strong note of irony.
They were going on six years of age, a little fact that I had neglected to remember. They moved easily, solid chaps with the disconcerting knack of walking in step with each other. Well muscled, their father’s firm heritage, I am happy to say, with a tempering of their mother’s looks.
“You’ve been away a long time, Dad,” one of them said.
“Not by choice, James. The universe isn’t saved in a day.”
“I’m James, he’s Bolivar. Welcome back.”
“Well, thanks.” Did I kiss them or what? They settled this by sticking out their hands, and I shook them each quite seriously. Good grips. This family thing was going to take some getting used to. Angelina beamed proudly, and I melted under that look and realized that it was all probably worth it.
“Angelina, I think you have finally convinced me. The joys of married life seem to be worth the price of giving up the happy and carefree occupation of free-lance thief. . . .”
“Thief is the correct word,” a nauseously familiar voice cried out. “And crook, con man, blackmailer, briber, and more.” Inskipp stood in the doorway waving his florid face and a sheaf of papers in my direction. “Five years I have been waiting for you, diGriz, and this time you are not getting away. No excuses like time wars now. You crook, you steal from your own buddies,
urggh!
”
He said
Urggh!
because Angelina had popped a sleep capsule under his nose, and he folded over while the boys—good reflexes there—stepped forward and eased him gently to the floor. Angelina relieved him of the sheaf of papers while he went by.
“After five years I need you more than this nasty old man does. Let’s burn this file and steal a ship before he comes to. It will be months before he can find us, and by that time something else will have happened that will need straightening out badly, and he will have to put us back to work again. Meanwhile, we can have a lovely crooked second honeymoon.”
“Sounds great—but what about the boys? This is not the sort of trip one takes children on.”
“You’re not leaving without us,” Bolivar said. Where had I seen that unshakable scowl before? In the mirror I guess. “Where you go, we go. If it’s a matter of money, we can pay our own way. See.”
I saw indeed as he extended a great bundle of credits that could pay his way right across the galaxy. But I also had a quick glimpse of a familiar golden wallet.
“Inskipp’s money! You robbed that poor old man while you should have been helping him.” I flicked a quick look at James. “And I suppose you will be able to tell time during the trip with his wristwatch that I see suddenly on your arm?”
“In their father’s footsteps,” Angelina said proudly. “Of course they come with us. And don’t concern yourself with expenses, boys. Daddy can steal enough for all of us.”
It was too much. “Why not!” I laughed. “Here’s to crime!” I raised my glass.
“Here’s to time,” Coypu said, getting in the spirit of the thing.
“Here’s to time crime!” we cried together and drained our glasses and broke them against the wall, and Coypu smiled avuncularly after us as we grabbed the children’s hands and leaped lightly over Inskipp’s snoring body and were out the door and away.
There’s a bright and glorious universe out there, and we are going to enjoy every single bit of it.
