The Stolen Heart (26 page)

 

 

He paced up and down in a frenzy in his cabin, but in the end Jared
had to concede there was nothing he could do about it for the
present.

 

 

First thing in the morning, he would go on deck to help supervise
the loading of the cargo, and find her.

 

 

He would tell her that her brother was only about four days ahead of
them on the
Dolphin
, and that they would be re-united soon.

 

 

Then he would bring her back to him. To their ship.
Their home
. He would tell her that he loved her, that he truly did want to wed
her, and all would be well.

 

 

Jared turned in at last, and as he finally drifted off to sleep,
thinking the bed had never felt so empty, he prayed with all his
heart that his last wish would come true.

 

 

 

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

 

 

Jared tossed and turned the rest of the night in an agony of
unsatisfied desire.

 

 

As eight bells rang out and the crew roused themselves for morning
chores, he headed up on deck to keep an eye out for Almira.

 

 

He also told Cook what the problem was and asked, “Did she tell you
what she had overheard?”

 

 

Cook gave him a measuring look, but admitted, “No, not exactly. She
just said, well, she had decided for reasons of her own that things
were just not working out for her on the ship after all, and she was
going to ask Captain Wyer’s mate to take her on. Turns out they were
a few crewmen short, and glad to have a greenhand. I did tell her to
speak with you, but she was pretty upset. She said you wouldn’t care
what she did in any case. That you had been planning to send her
home all along.”

 

 

“It was true once, when I first found out who she was, but not now!”
Jared said raggedly.

 

 

Cook wrestled with the idea of telling the Captain the whole truth,
that she was expecting. Even if the
Peru
was slow in
reaching home, Al would get back safely on land, and have a few
months yet until her baby was born.

 

 

To keep her aboard the
Trident
was best for Jared, if he
cared about her, but might not be best for Al in the long run.

 

 

But Cook decided in the end that it was not his place to tell him
the momentous news. Al would have to decide for herself about her
own safety, and that of their child.

 

 

As the silence lengthened to an almost painful lull, he finally
said, “Then you had better be honest with her, and tell her how you
feel. That you were wrong, and you don’t want her to leave you.”

 

 

Jared shook his head, and sighed. “That’s just it, though. She
ought
to go. How selfish can I be, to keep her with me night and day like
this? She's a friend’s daughter, decently raised. I feel like I am
taking advantage of her innocence for my own lusts.”

 

 

Cook shook his head. “She's nothing if not a woman who knows her own
mind. She's innocent, but not a complete fool. There was no
seduction involved, I'm sure of it, or else I would be the first
person to reprimand you for your treatment of her. But she's a woman
full grown, with strong loyalties, and strong loves. She cares for
you. No decent woman would give herself freely if she didn’t love
you, or felt you didn’t care about her.”

 

 

“But that's how she feels at the moment."

 

 

At the other man's surprised look, Jared confessed, "I said to
Captain Dyer I wasn’t the marrying kind. I'm pretty sure she
overheard me. I never thought I was, that I would ever meet someone
as special as Almira. I have to get her back. Will you help me?”

 

 

Cook shook his head. “No, I can’t interfere, or take sides. You're
my captain, and she's my friend. She has to make up her own mind.
Just tell her what you told me, and that will be the end of it, one
way or the other.

 

 

"Either you let her go home now when you're sure she will be safe
and well looked after, or you insist on her staying with you, and
accepting the consequences and responsibilities of that decision.”

 

 

Jared nodded. “I will. I want her to stay.”

 

 

“Then go get her.”

 

 

Jared went over to the other ship with the first barrels of oil, and
greeted Captain Dyer warmly. “Thank you for doing this.”

 

 

“Thank you. And for the new greenhand. I’ve heard a lot of excellent
things about him.”

 

 

“Sorry, John, but Al is staying with me. You can have any of the
other men, but not Al. He is Jed’s son, and I promised to look after
him.”

 

 

John stared at him in surprise. “But I thought the boy wanted to go
home.”

 

 

“We had words about something silly. I want to speak with him, if
that’s all right with you.”

 

 

“Surely, it’s fine, but you do surprise me. Jed’s son, did you say?”

 

 

“Aye, looking for his father. I’m afraid he’s given up hope, and
that's why he wants to turn tail and go back home. It’s been a long
time.”

 

 

“No, it’s just that a son of Jed’s was on the
Dolphin
. Only
I didn’t know there was another brother. Only sisters.”

 

 

Jared shrugged as casually as possible. “You must have got it wrong
then, eh, John? But how is Adrian Hussey?”

 

 

“How do you think, stuck in a hell ship with a mad man?”

 

 

“Did you get a chance to see him, speak with him?”

 

 

“No, we just got a shout over asking what ships we had gammed with,
the usual, and he told me if I got home, to tell his sisters he had
reached the Pacific.”

 

 

“And how long was that again?”

 

 

“About five days ago now, not far from Callao.”

 

 

Jared nodded, satisfied. “Good then. I have to put into port to
repair the masts, but we might still catch them.”

 

 

“And old Smith might just shoot you dead if you try to gam,” Dyer
warned with a shake of his head.

 

 

“I'll have to take my chances for Al’s sake.”

 

 

“Speaking of whom, here he comes now. But do sort it out with him
soon. I want to get the cargo and get underway quickly, and I’m sure
you are anxious to take these whaleboats, then get into port to be
refitted.”

 

 

“I am. Talk to you later, John.”

 

 

He offered his hand to shake, then strode over to where Al was
laboring on the deck.

 

 

“Mr. Hussey, I need to speak with you for a moment.”

 

 

“I have my duties here now, sir.”

 

 

“Still, I took responsibility for you when you shipped out with me.
I’d like to speak with you now, be sure that you really want to go
home.”

 

 

Almira tried to hold back the tears, and said with a lift of her
chin, “Of course I want to go home. Tis a good ship. You were going
to put me down at the next port anyway, so this solves the problem
for everyone all around. You don’t have to worry about it any
longer. You're in luck. You can head on to the whaling grounds
without any further concerns about my welfare.”

 

 

He shook his head sadly. “Al, do you think I’ll stop worrying about
you or thinking of you just because you're on board the
Peru
?
I think I’ll worry more because we're separated. Because there will
be so many miles between us, and so many many months without the
chance of so much as a letter from you. A great deal can happen to
you, unprotected, alone, on your way home, and even once you get
there."

 

 

"We have some money now thanks to you—"

 

 

"I'm not talking about money, and you know it. Just as you and I
both know that there may be consequences to our actions."

 

 

"None you need worry about if that were the case."

 

 

"Don't be absurd. Of course I would worry. I care about you, damn
it. You're the only woman I've ever been so close to in all my life.
That alone makes you special and worthy of every consideration. Your
own character and merit warrant the rest."

 

 

She sniffed and shook her head. "If you had wanted a woman you'd
have chosen one of your own accord a long time ago. Just because I
deceived you does not mean you have to be stuck with me—"

 

 

"Yes, . I admit it, I wanted to send you home to safety at first.I
was thinking about what was best for you. But I also had every
intention of marrying you once we got into port, sending you home as
my wife, a decent, respectable woman who--”

 

 

“Don’t say another word," she hissed. "I
am
decent and
respectable. I cared for you. I wasn’t doing it for money, or
because I had no choice. I was doing it because I we had grown so
close, it was only natural to have strong feelings for you. But
spare me the lies. I heard what you said to Captain Dyer last night.
You're not the marrying kind. End of story for both of us. I'll not
marry an unwilling husband.”

 

 

“Well, what else could I say at the time?" he asked in exasperation.
"I could hardly admit that I had fallen in love with my cabin boy,
now could I!”

 

 

"“Sush, keep your voice down,” she whispered, moving further along
the rail where they had less chance of being overheard.

 

 

“For pity's sake, Almira, whatever you think you heard, I didn’t
mean it!”

 

 

“Or just calling me a whore?”

 

 

“I never said-”

 

 

She shook her head. “Spare me. There's no need for any more
discussion or convoluted reasoning on your part as to why you should
or shouldn't be leg-shackled to a poor, unwanted orphan."

 

 

"That's
not
who you are—"

 

 

I’m going home, and that's it. Spare me the lies and wheedling. It
doesn’t suit you, and it ruins whatever I thought we might have had
together. I
would
be a whore if I allowed you to keep on
using me after hearing what you said to Captain Dyer.”

 

 

“Damn it, Almira, I didn’t mean it. I want you to stay with me. Not
just until the next port. For the rest of the voyage. Please, I’m
sorry. I’m begging you to forgive me.

 

 

"Please, try to see things from my point of view for just one
minute," he begged, pacing up and down in front of her. "Like you
said, it was easy for you. You knew you were developing feelings for
me. I thought you were my friend, and you are, but you're a woman
too. And not quite who I thought you were.

 

 

"I freely admit it, I’m confused. All this is new to me! I don’t
know what I’m doing or thinking half the time. I don't have all the
answers. All I do know for certain is that I don’t want us to be
separated, to live half way around the world from each other for the
next two years until I return. I would be sick with worry, and miss
you terribly.

 

 

"Please, I need more time.
We
need more time! Don’t leave
me, Almira, please. Not like this, not with you so angry and upset
over a misunderstanding, over me acting like an ass because I don't
know what the hell I'm doing, I desire you so.”

 

 

She stared up at him and gauged the earnestness in his gaze. But he
still had not told her he loved her.

 

 

On the other hand, he was right, it
had
been very sudden for
him. He was pleading for more time. Surely it was the least she
could do considering all he had done for her.

 

 

She pressed her hands together and only at the last minute resisted
the urge to place them on her stomach protectively. That would give
away the game for certain.

 

 

If she had only herself to think about, she knew she would stay. But
it was no longer that simple. There was also the child to consider
now. She could not afford to make the wrong decision. Not when her
life and the baby’s was at stake.

 

 

“I need time too," she said in the end. "They’re not leaving until
the cargo is loaded, some time this evening. I have a job to do, and
I need to think.”

 

 

“Almira, please-”

 

 

“I understand you're confused, but so am I. Please, Jared, I have a
lot to think about. For the moment, I would ask that you not press
me any further.”

 

 

“I can’t help it. I don’t want you to go, and I can’t just leave you
here.”

 

 

“I’ll be fine. Just let me get on with my work. I shall think it all
over carefully, without you pressuring me into giving you an answer
in an instant.”

 

 

He gazed at her furiously. “You've already made up your mind,
haven’t you! You’re planning to go without saying goodbye properly.”

 

 

Her eyes flashed. “You mean getting back into the bunk with you and
giving you something to remember me by?”

 

 

“No, yes. Oh, Christ!” He began to tremble with barely suppressed
emotion. “I mean I can’t believe that this might be the last time we
ever see each other, and I can’t even touch you, hug you, for fear
of what others will say.”

 

 

“You
are
ashamed of me, then,” she hissed.

 

 

"“No, never, I just want to protect you. It serves no purpose for
everyone here to know you’re a woman, not if you're determined to
ship home with them. And no point for our crew until we get to port
and I marry you.”