The Sultan's Virgin Bride: A story of lust, loyalty and passionate resentment. (4 page)

His words however were like an antidote to desire. Slowly, she felt her body step back, and her mind began to remember who she was. More importantly, it began to recall who
he
was, and what he thought of her. She had no doubt sleeping with him would feel amazing. But she’d hate herself afterwards.

“More fun, but still not a very good idea,” she responded firmly, using the brief pause brought about by his surprise to slide under his arm. She fiddled with her robe, and when she couldn’t work out how to reassemble the ties, she simply held it gathered at the waist.

To his credit, he quickly tamped down on his frustration. “You are my wife. I respect your right to choose the boundaries of our relationship.” And thought it was a petty, cruel thing to say, he said it anyway. “You should be aware that abstinence does not suit me. As you will one day learn, my sexual appetite is large. If you are not available, I will be forced to seek… alternative entertainment.”

She gaped, the stone cold chip in her heart growing larger. After all, she’d been cheated on before, but she didn’t expect it to happen again. “Entertainment? Is that how you see the women who climb into your royal bed?”

He regarded her thoughtfully. “You do not find sex entertaining?”

“I…” she swallowed nervously. He was going to find out at some time or other. “I don’t find it anything,” she said honestly.

Aki was certain he’d misunderstood. “What does that mean?”

“It means that I have no point of reference. But I’ll take your word for it.”

He swore, his expression obviously surprised now. “You are surely not claiming to be a virgin?”

“Yes.” She angled her chin in a gesture that practically dared him to attempt to mock her.

“At twenty four.”

“Yes.”

“You were engaged to another man.”

“Yes.”

He thrust his hands onto his hips, his exasperation obvious. “How is it that you and he never slept together?”

“That’s none of your business.”

He raised his eyebrows pointedly. “I believe it is. You are my wife.”

“So?” She shrugged with the appearance of nonchalance. “Unless you intend to start detailing
your
past lovers, then I won’t be talking about Arnaud.”

“But he was not a past lover. He is just a man you said you’d marry.”

“A man I loved,” she felt compelled to reply, though she knew with hindsight that it had not been love. Not really.

“I see. And yet you were not attracted to him.”

“I was,” she denied hotly. “It was his idea to wait until we were married.”

Perhaps this Arnaud had made the same mistake about Eleanor Rami that Aki had been about ot make. Perhaps her appearance of dull stupidity had led the other man to likewise assume she’d be boring in bed. “You did not marry him.”

“Well, aren’t you just a genius?” She snapped sarcastically.

He ignored the barb. “Why not?”

“As I said, it’s none of your business.”

“You are my wife.”

“Exactly. And you seem to know everything you need to about me.” She forced a smile to her face, but it was stiff with how false it was. “Including the fact I don’t want you to touch me again until we talk about… until we… until we both decide it is time to talk about a royal heir.”

He was not often surprised, but in that moment, he felt adrift at sea. “I have never forced a woman to intimacy. I abhor the very notion of sex that is not consensual. But believe me, Eleanor, we will make love soon. And it will be your choosing. Because you want me, and you are my wife. When you have adjusted to your situation, you will realise there is nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that you desire your husband.”

She opened her mouth to say something but he lifted a palm into the air, holding it outwards as a gesture of pause. “Go to bed, now. You are tired and it is late. I am certain this conversation will come up again.”

She should have felt like she’d won a victory. She’d done battle with her husband and she’d won! She’d even got her body to understand that feelings of desire were dwarfed by the responsibility of her mind. How could she desire a man who thought so ill of her?

Yes, she’d won. But it was a hollow victory indeed. She tossed and turned for the remainder of the night and finally got out of bed with one thought in mind. Aki, and how desperately she wanted him.

CHAPTER THREE

“It’s a pancake made from quince and almond meal,” Aki said quietly. His wife had been moving a small piece of the sweet delicacy around her plate for the better part of the breakfast.

She looked up at him, startled. “Right.” She nodded.

“They are very good. Try it.” His eyes were gently mocking, his face revealing none of the animosity she’d sparked the night before.

The problem was, delicious or not, her throat felt like razor blades had been dragged down it. She lifted the pancake to her lips and forced herself to chew. Swallowing was the difficulty, but she accomplished it, simply because she knew her husband was watching her.

“Well?” He prompted, moving disconcertingly close to make their conversation more private.

“It’s no Mac Cheese,” she said with the hint of a defiant smile on her face.

“You know,
azeezi
, we must have some conversation if we are to convince people we have just enjoyed our first night as a married couple.”

Her eyes flew to his. “No one is watching us.”

He shook his head slowly. “
Everyone
is watching us.” He smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “And I, for one, do not want to give anyone any reason to think our marriage is already faltering.”

Though she arranged her face into a calm expression, her emotions were jangling about inside of her. “I wouldn’t have thought you care what people think.”

“It would not look good if the Rami and Katabi families cannot get along, even when bonded by marriage,” he said with a pointed look. “I imagine my people would be very upset to discover that the fairy tale they have concocted around our marriage is, in fact, a fallacy.”

“What fairy tale?” She asked, lifting her glass and sipping the sweet pomegranate juice.

“Ah. Our families have been enemies for four generations. Two of the most powerful and oldest families in Talina, and we have been at war. Many believe our union is one of fate. That our love must be so intense that it overcame all of the objections our upbringing must have raised.”

Her cheeks were slashed with a rose pink hue. “I didn’t know anyone thought that.”

“What did you think? We would marry and no one would speculate how or why?”

“No.” She played with the necklace she wore, her eyes haunted with realisation. “I just … I don’t know.”

“You were never exactly low profile, Eleanor. But now you are the most famous woman in our country.” He saw with satisfaction the way her skin paled beneath her complexion. “And while you have perfectly expressed your reservations to me, in public, you will be a dutiful, loyal and affectionate wife.”

She sipped her juice again, but nothing seemed to quiet the rushing feeling she had in her chest. “I told you last night that I would be,” she finally felt able to say.

“Yes, you did. But now, at the first opportunity to embarrass me, you are sitting with a face that is grim, and an expression more forlorn than I have ever seen.”

Her eyes flew to him, startled and surprised. “Am I?”

“You mean you do not even realise?”

She shook her head, feeling every bit as listless and boring as he’d accused her of being the night before. “I’m sorry,” she said stiffly. “I didn’t intend to cause you embarrassment.”

He sighed with frustration. “I do not embarrass so easily.” Looking at the square set of his shoulders, the dominant face, she could well believe it. “But I will not expose my family, and the position I hold, to mockery and gossip.” He leaned closer, a smile plastered on his face that was clearly forced. As he tilted his head lower, his mouth pressed against her ear, and a frisson of awareness seared into her soul. “If, however, we cannot make this work, I will have no hesitation ensuring that everyone knows it was due to my wife’s failings.” He felt her stiffen and yet he didn’t stop. “And it will not be you, alone, that pays the price, Sheikha. Look at your father. Does he not seem happy? Back in Talina, surrounded by his own people, speaking his own language? How would you feel if he were to lose that right again, all because you were not capable of behaving maturely.”

She turned to look at him but he was too close, and instead, her cheek brushed against his. Her heart was racing inside of her. “You wouldn’t. I know you wouldn’t. My father has done nothing wrong, and it would wound him beyond your comprehension to again be exiled.”

Aki nodded, pulling his head a little away, so that he could fix her with a steel-laced gaze. “This is, of course, your choice to make, Eleanor. Your duty to me is clear, but in serving it, you will also be pleasing your father. Is that not a positive result?”

“A positive result?” She murmured throatily, wondering how she had ever thought herself halfway to falling in love with this tyrant. “No. A positive result would be my father not needing you, or me, to come and go in his home country.”

“That is also unrealistic. Without you as my wife, he remains a … problem… for me.”

Her eyes sparked in her pretty face. “He is
not
a problem,” she said firmly. “You should talk to him now. Ask him what he wants.”

“No.” His expression was grim. “I have no need. What he wants is irrelevant, for he will have only what I am prepared to give him. Do you not understand,
azeezi,
that even as my wife’s father, there is nothing to stop me from revoking his citizenship?”

“I don’t understand.”

He lifted a finger and traced a line down the side of her face. “If you do not please me, or if I feel you are attempting to damage my reputation, I will not hesitate to hurt you back. And I know only one certain way to do this.”

Pain burst into her chest. “You’re a callous bastard,” she whispered, keeping her expression neutral with the greatest of efforts.

“You married me,” he said with a shrug.

“So, you mean I have to sleep with you or you’ll exile my papa again?”

His eyes narrowed, and he raked them dismissively over her face. “Not at all. If you do not wish to consummate our marriage, you will be depriving yourself of far more than you are me.”

“Of all the arrogant, incredibly self-aggrandising statements, that has got to be the worst!” She muttered in shock.

He shrugged. “I believe in honesty. Something you should try from time to time.”

“Honesty?” She glared at him. “When have I not been honest with you?”

“For a start, I believe you could have told me sooner that you are frigid, and would prefer a bed of your own.”

Her heart felt dripped in ice. Hadn’t he just voiced her secret fear? That the reason Arnaud had found it so easy to abstain from sex with her was because she was somehow sexless?

“I didn’t know I would feel that way until…”

“Until you had to go through with what you’d agreed to? A real marriage?”

She nodded, her lips pressed firmly shut.

He shrugged. “As I said last night, it is your decision.”

“But you’ll just find someone else to amuse yourself with?” She repeated his phrase from the night before.

He tilted his head in silent assent.

“Perhaps I’ll just do likewise,” she said, with a mock thoughtful expression. It had his face immediately turning to her, his eyes sparking with a dangerously loaded emotion.

“You will do no such thing.”

“Or what?” She challenged, though she had no intention of hunting around for an alternative lover.

“You do not want to find out,” he stated darkly.

A shiver ran down her spine. For reasons she couldn’t fathom, he was furious with her. Had she wounded his pride? His manly ego? She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her breakfast, but it was even less appetising now than it had been a moment earlier.

Thankfully, Aki was pulled into conversation with someone a little way down the table, and Eleanor was able to eat and wallow in peace. She desperately wanted the whole wedding fiasco to be over.

As plates were cleared and people began to move around once more, she stood. Aki moved with her.

“I’m going for a walk,” she said through a saccharine smile.

“Not on your own,” he responded with a similarly false expression pinned to his face.

And though the temptation to yell at him seemed to be growing by the moment, his threats against her father kept her docile and silent. “Fine.”

Slowly, she moved through the crowd of people, Aki just behind her. As she reached the palace wall, she slowed her pace. The sun was high in the sky, despite the earliness of the hour, and the temperature was already unpleasantly hot. She paused to wipe at her forehead, which had sheened with perspiration, when a sound of raised voices caught her attention.