The Summer House (6 page)

Her father had listened, held her and told her it would be okay. But then he’d been called away and someone had pressed a drink in her hand.

“I hadn’t eaten,” she said. “I’d spent the whole plane trip crying. The liquor hit me.” She shrugged. “That’s a pretty pitiful excuse.”

She’d been sitting alone in a corner when some up-and-coming young male star had found her. They’d talked for a while. She couldn’t remember about what. She could barely remember his name or what he’d looked like.

“He offered and I said yes. Because I wanted to hurt you.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “It was horrible. I’d never done anything like that before. Had sex with a stranger. It’s not the fun and happy good time it’s cracked up to be. You walked in on us the next morning.”

Rick’s expression turned haunted. Mandy ached for both of them. She could still remember the sun piercing her eyes as she wrestled with a hangover the size of Montana. She’d barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up. When she’d staggered back to her bed, she’d been stunned to find a guy in it.

All the memories of the previous night had crashed in on her. Then, before she could make sense of them, Rick had walked into her room. It had been the only time he hadn’t let her go.

No matter how long she lived, she would never forget the look on his face.

“I never said I was sorry,” she whispered. “I was, from the very first, and I still am. It was selfish and stupid and incredibly immature.”

He shrugged. “I knew why you’d done it. I’d caused you pain for so long.”

His excusing her behavior stunned her. “So it didn’t matter?”

His eyes darkened. “It mattered.”

“Oh, Rick. What a mess.”

He nodded. “I couldn’t be what you wanted, what you needed.”

“I had the same problem,” she admitted. “You wanted the perfect social hostess, housekeeper and mistress. I was twenty and didn’t know anything about being married.”

He straightened. “You know, I’ve yet to find that perfect combination. I wonder why that is.”

“It doesn’t exist.” She sucked in a breath. Some of the pain inside her eased a little. “Maybe you should try inventing a robot.”

“That was my first plan. Instead I’ve been trying to change my requirements to something more realistic. I think I would be happier with an imperfect flesh-and-blood partner rather than a perfect machine. Besides, I’m hardly Mr. Wonderful.”

“You have your moments,” she said, even though her chest felt as if a thousand pounds were pressing in on it.

What was wrong with her? She should be happy that Rick had reached the place in his life where he was ready to be in a serious relationship. Didn’t she want him to get married again?

She told herself she did, that she wasn’t envious of the woman who would be lucky enough to claim him. She, Mandy, had already had her shot and she’d blown it. Besides, it wasn’t as if she had feelings for him. Not after all this time.

She cleared her throat. “So what are your current requirements?”

“The usual. A wife. Kids. Maybe a couple of dogs. My work can be difficult. It’s generally challenging. I want to have something more to come home to than an empty house. More balance.”

“We’ve been using the ‘b’ word a lot today,” she told him.

“You’re right. Has it just been today?” He shook his head. “Feels like a lot longer to me.”

To her, too, but it had just been the one day.

“How long until Cassie joins you?” he asked.

“A couple of weeks.”

“Until then are you open to spending time together? I’ll need to head into the office for a day or so to get things in order. Then I’ll take some time off. Maybe we can learn to be friends.”

The pressure on her chest eased a little. “I’d like that.” She managed a smile. Friends. That was what they should be, she told herself, even as she had a fleeting thought that there was a lot of potential for more.

“We’ll work on the past,” she said as he rose to his feet. “Figure out this closure thing and get on with our lives.”

“Exactly.”

She stood and he smiled at her. “How about if I come by day after tomorrow,” he said. “About ten in the morning?”

“Sounds good.”

Better than good, she thought as he waved and left. Then she stopped herself in mid mental-sentence. No way. She and Rick had a very specific purpose. Apparently they hadn’t finished up with each other as much as they should have. If she could tie up all the loose ends with him, she could move on with her life. That’s what she wanted. Not a slow walk down memory lane. Been there, done that. It hadn’t worked the first time and there was no reason to think it would work this time.

Right?

Oddly enough, there was no answer.

M
andy stretched out in the chair, her feet resting on the railing around the deck. It was an amazing day—warm, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. She had a perfect view of the ocean, a cold lemonade in her hand. She could get used to life like this.

In the background she could hear Rick’s voice. He was arguing with someone, but she refused to pay attention. When he got off the phone, he would tell her all about it…probably with a lot of passion in his voice. In the past few days she had discovered Rick was passionate about a lot of things. His work, the house, his hobbies.

Her?

Don’t go there, she told herself. Dangerous, dangerous territory. One fabulous afternoon in bed did not a relationship make. She and Rick were looking
for an ending, not a beginning. Still, a girl could dream.

She had discovered he was the kind of man who made dreaming easy. They’d spent much of the past seven days in each other’s company. Going to lunch, the movies. They’d taken an all-day sail, had cooked out on the beach, picked out new flooring and fixtures for the guest bath in his house, and had generally hung out. By mutual agreement, they’d avoided any difficult topics, instead using the time to get to know each other.

With Rick, the more she learned, the more she liked. They got along well, agreed on many subjects, disagreed on enough to keep things interesting. There was also the added spice of the chemistry between them.

It lurked in the background, never obvious, but never absent. It was as if everything inside her vibrated slightly when he was near. The sensation was acutely pleasant.

She closed her eyes and did her best to get lost in the moment. Whatever she might feel about Rick was interesting, but not significant. They weren’t ever going to be more than what they were. Now if he’d been like this eight years ago, things might have been different.

Her eyes popped open and she sighed. Honesty insisted that she acknowledge that unless she got the chance to go back and make her former self more mature, the marriage was still doomed to failure. She’d had unrealistic expectations about the relationship from the start.

She heard Rick slam down the phone and mutter something. He stalked out to the deck and flopped
down in the chair next to hers. She adjusted her sun hat so she could see him and lowered her sunglasses on her nose.

“What’s wrong?”

He shrugged and reached for his lemonade. “I’m arguing with the board about a project. It’s a pet project of John’s—he’s on the board. He wants me to approve it, but it doesn’t work. We’ve recreated the experiment three times and the results don’t match what the inventor told us they would be. I don’t know where he got his data, but it wasn’t using this particular experiment. I recommended that we pass on the project.”

Mandy shoved her glasses back in place. “Let me guess. John’s having a cow about the whole thing.”

Some of Rick’s tension eased as he grinned. “I wouldn’t have phrased it that way, but, yes.”

She grinned. “There’s nothing like hanging out with a bunch of kids to keep one’s descriptions creative.”

“I guess.”

They were both casually dressed in shorts and shirts. She wasn’t sure what he thought of her attire, but she was darned appreciative of his long, powerful legs and the way his shoulders filled out his T-shirt. She took a sip of lemonade to cool herself down and returned her attention to the conversation at hand.

“So what happens now?” she asked.

“We argue.” He shrugged. “It’s pretty common at the foundation. Everyone is brilliant and everyone has an opinion. Very few projects get through easily. But that’s what makes things work. John knew I’d tell him the truth when he asked me to review the material. I
don’t think he knew the information was bogus. Now he’s mad, but he’ll get over it.”

“So you won’t get in trouble for disagreeing with the boss?”

“Not even close.” He set his glass back on the table. “The frustrating part is we’ve run the experiment three times. John knows that in science, like in life, if you put the same elements together in the same way, you get the same result.”

She straightened in her chair. “That doesn’t happen in life.”

“Sure it does.”

“Not if there are people involved. No two situations are ever exactly the same outside of a controlled environment. Life is many things, but it’s not controlled.”

He didn’t look convinced.

“What about us?” she continued. “We’re not the same people we were eight years ago. We’re completely different, so this situation is completely different.”

“If that’s true, then the elements aren’t the same.”

“My point is people aren’t elements.”

“They can be.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re being deliberately difficult.”

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Maybe.”

“Figures.” She decided a change of subject would be best for both of them. “I’m heading back to Los Angeles for a couple of days. I received a call last night from Daisy, Eva’s foster mother. Eva’s the little girl I told you about.”

“I remember. Is everything all right?”

“Yes. I have official permission to spend time with Eva, so I thought I’d start by going to the Long Beach aquarium with her. Eva really likes the ocean and things that live in it.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“I hope it will be.”

Mandy tried to act casual about the whole thing, but she was pretty excited. Although she still wasn’t sure that she would have the guts to adopt a special-needs child on her own, she wanted to seriously consider the possibility. Rather than simply spend time with Eva, she’d gone through the process of receiving official clearance so there would be no holdup if she did go forward with the adoption. Better to be prudent than make waves.

Rick leaned back in his chair. “Want company?”

She stared at him. “What?”

“I’m not doing anything for the next couple of days. We could go down in my car. Spend the night in some fancy hotel.” He held up his free hand. “Separate rooms. I know. No fooling around in the name of closure.” He shrugged. “I thought it might be fun.”

She didn’t understand. No man in her acquaintance had ever been willing to get within throwing distance of Eva. “Are you talking about coming to the aquarium with us?” she asked cautiously.

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

His obvious acceptance of the situation surprised her. But then she reminded herself that they were nothing but friends working on the past.

“Um, that would be great. Thanks.”

As there was going to be a young child to worry about, they drove down in Rick’s sedan rather than his convertible.

“Safety versus flash,” he said as they pulled into the modest Torrance neighborhood. “She doesn’t need a car seat or anything, does she?”

Mandy shook her head. “She’s eight. She’ll be fine in the back seat.”

She directed him to turn right at the corner, then left at the stop sign. Although she spoke calmly, he could feel her tension. It filled the car until he wanted to take her twisting fingers in his and promise that it would be all right. However, he didn’t think she could believe him.

He could see that this was a big deal for Mandy. Obviously she cared about the kid a lot. He was interested in meeting Eva and seeing how the afternoon went. No one had defined the term “special needs” so he didn’t know what more Eva might need as compared with a child who wasn’t categorized that way.

While Rick would never admit it to Mandy, he wasn’t keen on labeling kids. He’d been badged as “gifted” before he was five. The word—both a blessing and a curse—had followed him right into high school, which he’d entered at eleven. He’d entered college at thirteen. It had taken him the full four years to graduate because he’d double majored in computer science and physics. He’d finished his first master’s and Ph.D. by the time he was twenty and was on to his second when he’d met Mandy. He knew all about being different.

He pulled up in front of the one-story house by the corner. Mandy was out of the car before he’d done much more than put it in park. She hovered by the passenger door. As he watched, a child flew out of
the front door of the house and raced down the walk. Rick had a brief impression of long blond hair, a wide, happy smile and open arms before the two flung themselves at each other.

“How are you?” Mandy was asking as he climbed out of the car. “Are you having a good summer? I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you. We’ve had fun. Daisy took us to the pool twice and we saw fireworks on the Fourth of July and—”

Eva’s happy chatter came to a halt as Rick circled around the rear of the car. She gave him a quick glance then ducked behind Mandy.

“Eva, don’t be scared. This is Rick.”

Before she could say more, a cheerful but harried-looking woman in her thirties came out the front door. “Mandy,” she called with a smile. “Someone has been parked by the front window for the past hour, hasn’t she?”

Eva ducked her head out from behind Mandy, grinned, then retreated.

“Daisy!” Mandy gave the other woman a warm hug. “How are you doing?”

Daisy shook her head. “Going crazy. I got a call this morning asking if I could provide emergency shelter for toddler twins. Just what I need. Of course I said yes.” She turned to Rick. “Hi. I’m Daisy Middleton.”

“Rick Benson.”

“He’s an old friend,” Mandy said quickly, as if concerned he was going to come up with another title.

“Old friend works,” he said with a quick wink.

Daisy looked intrigued but didn’t ask any questions. Instead she rested one hand on Eva’s blond
head and the other on Mandy’s arm. “There was some other news in the phone call,” she said pointedly. “I’m not supposed to say anything, so act surprised when you get the news.”

She paused significantly until Mandy chuckled. “Don’t keep me in suspense. What news?”

“You were approved for foster care. They start you with one child, but that’s all you want, isn’t it?”

Mandy didn’t say anything. Her eyes widened and she looked stunned. Rick glanced between the women, looking for an explanation.

Just then three more young children spilled out of the house. Daisy saw them and groaned. “No. You were supposed to be napping.” She started toward them, then turned back. “Run for it while you can. Oh, we’re having a cookout with the neighbors, so can you have her back by four-thirty?”

“No problem,” Mandy called after her.

She ushered Eva into the car and settled her in the middle of the big back seat. Once everyone had on their seat belts, Rick started the car and headed back toward the freeway. Mandy fiddled with the radio.

“There’s a kid’s station, if you don’t mind,” she said.

“Not at all. I can even do you one better.” He pushed a button, sending the sound into the rear speakers. “Instant child-friendly sound.”

“Thanks.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Are you okay, Eva?”

“Uh-huh.”

Mandy smiled. “Are you going to still be shy around Rick when we get to the aquarium?”

A pause, then, “Uh-huh.”

Both he and Mandy laughed. “I’ll try bribing her
with ice cream when we get there,” he said. “It always worked with me.”

“I’ll have to remember that.”

He shot her a quick look. “You okay?”

“Nervous.”

He lowered his voice. “What did Daisy mean back there when she said you’d been approved for foster care?”

Mandy leaned toward him and spoke softly. In the back seat Eva was singing along with a song about happy frogs.

“I’ve been approved to be a foster parent. That’s the first step in anything permanent. Eva would come stay with me as a foster child and we would see how things go.” She leaned back in her seat. “Now I have to get real about this. It’s no longer in the abstract.”

“Scary?”

She looked at him and nodded. “More than you know. I want to do the right thing for both of us. I worry about having the right resources.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry about money. Your dad would see to that.”

“I’m all grown up. Isn’t it time to stop expecting him to bail me out?”

“This is different.”

“Maybe. There are other considerations. It’s a huge, lifetime commitment. I want to do things right. I want to be sure. Actually, I want us both to be sure.”

Rick glanced in his rearview mirror. Eva beamed as she sang. Every couple of seconds she looked at Mandy. Her whole face lit up with delight. Mandy might need to be sure, but it seemed that Eva had already made up her mind.

“I can see the responsibility would be a little daunting,” he said.

“That’s part of it.”

He tried to imagine what he would do in her situation. Mandy’s affection for Eva came from knowing the child. He didn’t have much contact with kids. He frowned. Actually he didn’t have any.

The thought came from nowhere that if he and Mandy had stayed together, they would have several children by now. Well, at least a couple.

What would that have been like? He wanted to think that they would have been good parents, but he wasn’t sure. They’d both needed to grow up. Things would be different now. Not that they were talking about kids, or anything but getting closure on their divorce.

He looked at Eva again. She caught his gaze in the mirror and gave him a shy smile. He smiled back. Next to him Mandy hummed along with the song. Her nerves had faded and she seemed happy, as well. All in all, it was turning out to be a good day.

“Look!” Rick said, pointing overhead.

Eva obligingly craned her neck, then gasped, took a step back and nearly toppled over. Rick caught her with a steadying hand on her waist.

“It’s a whale,” he said. “A blue whale. They’re the biggest creatures on the planet.”

Eva looked from the full-scale model to him and back. “Where?” she asked.

“In the water.”

She glanced at the aquarium tanks around them and looked doubtful.

“Not here,” he said. “Out in the ocean. There’s a chart over there. I’ll show you.”

He held out his hand and Eva took it with a trust that brought a lump to Mandy’s throat. Somehow on the short walk from the car to the entrance to the Aquarium of the Pacific, Rick had managed to charm the shy eight-year-old. Now he led her to the display that detailed where blue whales lived.