The Summer Wind (33 page)

“Yeah. I half expect to see Delphine pop her head out of the water. Poor Delphine . . .” In her mind’s eye she saw the sweet smile of the dolphin and felt a prick of conscience for what the consequences of their actions had cost it.

“When is Carson due back?” she asked Dora.

“Not sure. Tomorrow or the day after.”

“I saw on the weather report there’s a tropical storm brewing off the coast of Africa and the computer models say it will head our way.”

“Please . . .” Dora said with a wave of her hand. “Whenever there’s any disturbance from that direction, the weathermen go wild, stirring us up into a frenzy. I swear they’re disappointed if the storm veers off. I don’t pay any of the warnings any mind until it’s hugging our coast.”

Harper was the type to study the computer models, and at the moment, the majority of them had this storm hitting Charleston.

“You’ve lived here longer than I have,” Harper conceded. “If Carson comes back tomorrow, she’ll just beat the storm. I’m hoping she and Nate don’t get stuck driving in a downpour.”

Dora’s face clouded at the slightest possibility of Nate being in a storm. “Maybe I will check those storm warnings.”

Harper saw the worry on Dora’s face and regretted bringing up the topic of the storm. “They’ll be fine,” she said in consolation.

“Oh, sure . . .” Dora’s voice was troubled.

“You must miss Nate a lot.”

“Terribly. It’s been wonderful to have some time to myself, but it’s been long enough. I want my baby home.”

“I miss him, too.”

Dora turned to face Harper. “It’s also been really nice spending time with you this past week.”

Harper smiled into the water.

“I’ve gotten to know you better,” Dora continued. “I feel closer to you. I’m trying to break old patterns, and you’ve really helped me.” She paused. “Thank you.”

Harper looked up and in the moonlight saw the sincerity in Dora’s eyes. “We’re sisters,” Harper said. “You don’t have to thank me.” She broke into a broad grin.

Dora released a wide smile and nodded, looking out at the moonlight dancing on the Cove. “I like that.”

“You know, I don’t know who was the tougher sell on getting Nate to go—you or Nate.”

Dora laughed. “I think it’s a miracle he agreed to get in the car with Carson in the first place! But I have to hand it to her. She’s done a real good job. She’s been sending me pictures every day of Nate’s progress. He looks so good, so tan. For a boy who rarely smiles, Nate was smiling all the time! It was a side to my little boy I rarely see. I’ve sent the pictures to Cal. He needs to see that side of his son.” She paused. “Carson doesn’t seem to have a problem having a good time with Nate, does she?”

“Carson? She doesn’t have a hard time having a good time with anyone. It’s her gift.”

“And yours. You play with Nate, too. On the video games.”

“Well, yeah . . .” she replied hesitatingly, remembering the terse words when Dora discovered Harper playing video games with Nate.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I’m so sorry. It . . . it wasn’t the video games I was upset about. I was jealous,” she admitted.

“Jealous?” Harper asked, shocked at the confession. “Of what?”

“Jealous that you found a way to have fun with Nate. Like Carson did. This isn’t easy to say, but I don’t know how to do that.” She mulishly kicked the water.

“He’s your son,” Harper said, not understanding how a mother wouldn’t know how to play with her own child.

“Moms are the rule makers. It’s not always a fun job. There has to be balance, and I see now that I’ve been so obsessed with helping Nate because of his Asperger’s, I forgot to have fun with him. I don’t want to just be his keeper, the one who tells him what to do, tidies up after him, feeds him.” Dora glanced
at her sister. “In the dressing room you said something to me that made me think.”

“Oh-oh . . .” Harper recalled she’d said some harsh things in that tight space.

“No, really, it was good. I know Nate loves me.” Dora took a breath. “But I’m not sure he really likes me.”

“Aw, Dora, of course he likes you.”

Dora shrugged and said in a small voice, “He doesn’t like to play with me.”

“It’s easy. Find something
he
likes to do.”

“I’m trying . . . but it’s not easy with Nate. He doesn’t like imaginary games and he prefers to play by himself most of the time. I can’t count the number of games I’ve initiated with him or the outings we’ve gone on that are instructive or will help him learn some skill. He shuts me out.”

“That’s the problem. Stop being his teacher and just have fun.”

“But I
am
his teacher. I love Nate, more than life itself. I’m trying to make life easier for him, to somehow make him
better
. He needs help if he’s going to learn to deal in the normal world.”

“But not all the time. Nate’s a pretty remarkable boy just the way he is. Instead of trying to change him, once in a while try hanging out with him without an agenda. See what he’s interested in. He’ll let you know.”

Dora put her face in her palms. “God help me, I know you’re right.”

“I’m speaking from personal experience here,” Harper said. “There’s a difference between compelling your children to do what
you
want them to do, and just letting them discover for themselves what
they
want to do.”

“Is that what your mother did?”

“In spades,” Harper answered. “That’s why I’ve always enjoyed coming here, to Sea Breeze. Mamaw let us run wild and play our own games.” She released a short laugh of pleasure. “You know, whenever I think of the best times in my childhood, they’re always here at Sea Breeze.”

“Me, too.”

“We sure had great summers, didn’t we?”

When Dora didn’t answer immediately, Harper turned her head. She watched Dora stare out at the Cove as though she were going through personal memories. The moonlight made her hair appear an almost unworldly shade of gold.

“We surely did,” she said in a faraway voice.

“So, there’s your answer. Be like Mamaw and do the same thing with Nate. Let him go wild. Go exploring. Have fun just for the sake of doing it together.” She wagged her finger. “No lesson plans. Okay?”

Dora laughed. “Okay.”

Harper took a breath and asked Dora the question that had been niggling at her brain the past few days. “Dora, are you going to introduce Nate to Devlin?”

Dora leaned back on her arms. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Not right away.”

“Why not?”

“There’s no hurry. Besides, Nate doesn’t do well with change. He’s already upset that his father isn’t around. He might feel threatened if Devlin came into the picture right away. And, selfishly, when he gets back, I want some time alone with him.”

“Are you sure you’re not pushing Devlin away?”

Dora shook her head. “I thought about that, but no. Not at all.”

“I think he’s good for you.”

“You do?” Dora asked, delighted to hear this opinion from Harper, whose opinion she was learning to respect. “Why?”

“He’s the yin to your yang. More relaxed, a little wilder, earthy. Not afraid to mess things up. I think this fellow might give you that balance you’re looking for.”

Dora felt as though Harper’s words lit a light inside of her. She felt herself glowing with pleasure.

“We dated all through high school and into college.” She glanced at her sister and said, “He was my first, you know.”

Harper looked up, surprised. She didn’t know. She smiled encouragingly for Dora to go on, reveling in the rare moment of true sisterly bonding.

“Not that there were a lot of others,” Dora continued after a huff of embarrassed laughter. “Dev was the only other man I’ve slept with besides Cal.”

“Really?” she asked, her tone incredulous.

“Why? How many men have you slept with?” she asked, sounding a little defensive.

Harper burst out in a laugh. “I don’t know,” she said, evading the truth. She didn’t want to shock her sister with what she’d think a scandal, not when they were finally getting along. “A few more than two, I guess. Let’s just say they weren’t that memorable.”

Dora smirked, indicating she knew Harper was being evasive. “Uh-huh, sure.”

“I’m serious.”

“Has a man told you he loved you?”

“Sure. Plenty of times,” Harper said flippantly. “The problem is, I never believed them.”

Dora glanced at her with uncertainty.

“I’m what you might call”—Harper lifted her fingers to make quotation marks—“ ‘a good catch.’ I’m decent enough looking, well educated, have—or rather, had—a good job. But that’s not the real lure. No, sirree,” she said in a self-mocking manner. “I’m an heiress. Rich. With a pedigree. I’m the whole package. Mothers are throwing their sons at me.” She laughed bitterly. “Whenever a man tells me he loves me, I’m never quite certain if it’s me he desires, or my fortune.”

“But even so, didn’t you ever fall in love? With any of them?”

Harper considered the question seriously, letting her mind roam over a litany of faces she’d known throughout her teens and into her twenties.

“There were some I liked quite a bit. One or two I dated for several months. There was one chap in England my grandmother almost called the banns for.” Harper lifted one shoulder insolently. “Unfortunately, she liked him better than I did. Honestly? I can’t say I ever did fall in love. It’s rather sad, isn’t it?”

“You’re only twenty-eight!” Dora said with a light laugh. “You’ve got lots of time left. Lord, you make it sound like you’re over the hill.”

Harper didn’t laugh. She didn’t want to make light of this. “Think of our father and his track record. He never fell in love. He was incapable of making a commitment. And I’m always told Jameses don’t marry for love.” She changed her voice, taking on a British upper-class accent. “Jameses marry for alliances.” She smirked. “My ancestors have married for money for generations.”

“How royal of you,” Dora said as a tease.

Harper laughed at the truth in that statement. “God knows my mother never loved anyone but herself. I honestly don’t think she’s capable of that emotion. Not even for her own daughter. She despised our father.”

Dora burst out in a laugh. “You mean Mamaw was right after all? Your mama just wanted him for his sperm?”

“I’m afraid so,” Harper replied, coloring faintly. “But don’t ever tell her I said so. I’ll never live down the fact that I am the product of such an ill-advised union.”

“My lips are sealed. But I’m glad she did. I have you as my sister.”

Maybe it was the oddly intimate spell the night seemed to be casting over them as their feet dangled in the cool water, but Harper finally felt like she could share her deeper feelings. “Do you think there’s something inherently wrong with me?”

“What?” Dora blurted. “Lord, no.”

“I’ve been thinking about this,” Harper persisted. “Maybe it’s in my genetic line to be incapable of love. I worry about that. There might be something missing in my DNA.”

Dora reached over to lay her hand on Harper’s. “You’re crazy if you think that. Love is out there. You just have to find it.”

Harper smiled weakly. “I want to believe in love,” she confessed. “But I’m not willing to settle. I refuse to be shackled by my fortune. I will
not
be like my mother,” she said with heat. “I’m holding out for true love.”

Dora studied her sister. “You are wise beyond your years, Harper,” she said slowly.

Slightly embarrassed at the compliment, Harper elbowed Dora in the ribs. “That romanticism must come from the Muir
side, eh? What with the great love affair of the Gentleman Pirate and Claire, right?”

Dora laughed, then looked out over the water, lost in thought.

“What about you?” Harper asked. “You said you kinda-maybe-might love Devlin. Does that mean you’ve decided to leave Cal for good?”

A bemused expression slipped over Dora’s face. “I’ve been wondering about that myself,” she replied. She shook her head and said in a low voice, “It’s so hard to know what to do. I just don’t know.”

“What don’t you know? You know Devlin loves you. Does Cal?”

Dora looked trapped. “I know he needs me.”

“Oh, great,” Harper exclaimed, throwing up her hands. “That’s so romantic.” She turned to face Dora. “You just told me how you want to have some fun with Nate. Why should it be any different with your
husband
? Dora, you’re a caretaker. It’s what you do. Granted, taking care of Cal is one part of a marriage, and an important part, at that. But do you have fun with him?”

Dora gave a tiny shiver. “No.”

“I didn’t think so. I’ve been watching you these past weeks, and clearly you’re having fun with Devlin.”

“But is that enough for a relationship?”

“It’s a good start. If you don’t mind my saying so, you’re a stickler for what you think a marriage
should
look like. How’s that working out for you so far?”

Dora stared at the water.

“Let me ask you this. Is it Cal you want to stay with? Or the marriage?”

Dora didn’t reply. She sat twisting her wedding ring on her finger.

Harper asked gently, “Are you
in love
with him?”

Dora raised up her left hand. The luster of the gold shone in the moonlight.

“When you talked about feeling shackled by your fortune, all I could think was how I feel shackled to my marriage. Right now”—Dora lifted her left hand—“this ring feels like a manacle, every bit as heavy and binding to an institution I don’t want to be part of anymore.”

Dora lowered her hand to her lap. “I loved Cal when I married him.” Her gaze met Harper’s. “But, no. I’m not in love with him. I can’t go back.” Looking at the ring, she cried, “I want to be free.”

Dora began tugging the ring from her finger, but it was snug and unyielding.

“What are you doing?” asked Harper.

“This ring has been on my finger for fourteen years,” Dora said with an edge of panic to her voice. “It won’t come off.”

“Well, stop pulling at it,” Harper told her. “You’re just making your finger swell more. Try dipping your hand in the cool water.”

Dora leaned far over the edge of the dock and stuck her hand into the water.