The Sweet Gum Tree (29 page)

I took the time to make one last entry in the books, then stood and walked to the counter.

“Do you always look so serious when you work?” he asked with a smile.

“Only when there’s math involved.” I returned his smile. “What are you doing here?”

Kenny had started edging toward the door as soon as I appeared, but when he realized I wasn’t going to take Nick’s head off, he hesitantly went back to work.

Nick gestured toward some boxes stacked beside him. “I had to pick up some nails for the nail gun, and since it’s so close to quitting time, I thought I’d save Bowie a trip and give Daniel a ride home.”

I glanced at the clock. “He should be here in a few minutes.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Wonderful.” I grinned. “We’ve had more girls buying games since he started than ever before.”

“There did seem to be a crowd when I went by that aisle earlier.” He looked mildly disgruntled. “I hope all the attention doesn’t go to his head.”

“It won’t. He’s too much like you.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t remember hordes of girls chasing me around when I was his age.”

“The only reason they didn’t is because you ignored them.” He crossed his forearms on the counter and leaned forward. “I ignored them because there was only one girl I was interested in. And it’s great to see her laugh again.”

Before I realized what he was going to do, he kissed me, right there in front of God and everyone. Just a quick brush of lips, but it was enough to send confusion swirling over me.

“Welcome back, Peewee,” he murmured. Heat flooded my face as a loud war whoop rang through the store.

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“Way to go, Dad!” Daniel appeared beside Nick, grinning from ear to ear. And he wasn’t the only one taking note. Kenny was laughing, too. Thank God, most of the customers had already left and the store was nearly empty.

“He thinks I’m over the hill,” Nick said, giving Daniel a friendly shove.

“You act like it sometimes,” the boy said. “But thanks to me, things are definitely starting to look up.” He puffed his chest out. “I’ve been giving him advice.”

“Oh, really?” I grinned. “Maybe I should take you to the roadhouse with me Wednesday night instead of Jenna. Can you dance?”

“Just call me Justin Timberlake.” He executed a move that would have done N’Sync proud, and I blinked.

“Wow. You weren’t kidding. You’re hired.”

Nick shook his head. “No way. He’s only fourteen. He’s not allowed to date unless I go along as a chaperone.”

“You’re just jealous because he can dance and you can’t.”

“Oh, Dad can dance. He took lessons.”

Nick clamped his hand over Daniel’s mouth, a dull flush creeping up his neck. “I think it’s time for us to be leaving.”

I widened my eyes in mock horror. “I don’t believe this. Nick Anderson taking dance lessons? And the world didn’t come to a screeching halt?”

“There’s not a lot to do when you’re stuck on a compound in the middle of Saudi Arabia,” he muttered. “Besides, he didn’t say I was any good at it.” Daniel forced Nick’s hand away from his mouth. “He is, though. You should have seen him practicing with Bowie. They took the class together and both of them tried to lead.”

“You and I are going to have a long talk when we get home.” Nick glared at Daniel before turning to me again. “What to come with us? Bowie is cooking, so no promises on the state of your health after supper.”

With Lindsey there? Not a chance in hell. Maybe I’d called a truce with Nick, but she was a different story entirely. “Sorry. I promised Mama I’d stop by after work.”

“Well, guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Sure.”

I watched them leave, then glanced at Kenny. “Wipe that grin off your face or I’ll fire you for insubordination.”

My words had no effect on him. “You can’t fire me. You need me too much.

Besides, it’s nice to hear you laugh for a change.”

“Have I really been that bad, Kenny?”

“Not bad.” He hesitated. “It’s just that you seem to take everything so seriously, like if you ever knew how to have fun, you’ve forgotten.” 163

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I thought about that for a second. “Maybe I did. And maybe it’s time I started to remember.”

He patted my shoulder. “Why don’t you go on? I’ll lock up for the night.” It surprised both of us when I kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Kenny. For everything.” That man was long overdue a raise, I decided as I gathered up my purse. He put in more hours than I did, never complained, and the whole staff looked up to him. I couldn’t run the store without him.

* * * * *

Mama’s new house was a small, single-story red brick. It sat at the end of a long lane, amidst a grove of towering pines that whispered in the wind like a hundred voices, murmuring secrets not meant for human ears. Since she was expecting me, I didn’t bother to knock, just opened the door and stepped into the kitchen.

To my everlasting shock, she was at the counter putting the finishing touches on a mandarin orange cake, my all-time favorite since I was a little girl. “What’s the occasion?” I asked when she glanced around.

Her smile had an edge of nervousness to it. “It’s my way of saying I’m sorry.” She got out two plates and carried them to the table, cutting the cake before she continued.

“I stayed awake half the night last night, thinking about what you said at the hospital yesterday.”

I watched as she bustled around the kitchen, getting forks, making coffee. “Alix, I never meant to hurt you, although I can see now that I did. You’re still my baby and I really thought I knew what was best for you. I thought you were just hurt by the way Hugh had been carrying on, that given time, you could work it out. Maybe I’m getting old. I don’t accept change so easily anymore, and Hugh has been part of your life since you were children. He’s the only boy you ever dated.”

“Sit down, Mama.” I caught her arm and tugged her gently into a chair. “It’s time we talked about this.”

She twisted her hands together on the table and exhaled, the breath lifting a lock of hair on her forehead. “That’s what your father kept telling me. I should have listened to him, should have known that you wouldn’t divorce Hugh without a good reason. I’m so sorry I didn’t trust your judgment.”

A short bark of laughter left my lips. “I haven’t exactly given you any reason to trust it. But I should have left Hugh a long time ago, Mama. He’s actually a pretty nice guy, and I’m sure he’ll make a wonderful husband for someone he loves. But we didn’t love each other. Not the way a husband and wife should. We never did. I don’t think he’d have married me if it weren’t for Helena pushing him into it.” 164

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“And yet you stayed with him all this time. Why?” She looked confused and upset, and my heart ached over what I was about to do. Sometimes we forget that divorce doesn’t only affect the two people involved. It’s a rending of two entire families.

“I stayed with him because I didn’t care what he was doing, Mama. After Katie died I didn’t care about anything.”

“But you married him. You must have had some feelings for him.” Abruptly her face paled, her expression stricken. “It was my fault, wasn’t it? I pushed you into marrying him.”

Reaching across the table, I covered her hand with mine. “No, you didn’t push me into it. I had my own reasons for marrying Hugh.” I braced myself, then went on. “I married him because I was pregnant and scared. He offered me a way out, a way to give the baby and myself respectability.” I hesitated. “Katie wasn’t Hugh’s child, Mama.”

Her gaze locked on mine. “Nick,” she whispered.

“Yes.”

A second passed in silence, her shoulders slumped as she looked away to stare at the table in front of her. “I think I always knew; I just didn’t want to admit it. She looked so much like him. Does he know?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure I’ll ever tell him. You have to understand. All this time I’ve blamed him for everything that happened, Mama. I blamed him for leaving me, for not caring enough to take me with him. And I blamed him for Katie’s death. I know now that it wasn’t his fault she died, but there’s still a lot of other things I’m not sure I can ever forgive him for.”

“How does he feel about you?”

“He says he loves me, that he always has. We’ve called a kind of truce for now, but it doesn’t change the fact that Lindsey has been with him all these years, or that they have a son together. After fifteen years of hating him, I can’t start trusting him again overnight. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him again.”

“I did your father. It wasn’t easy, but sometimes you have to take a chance.”

“Daddy didn’t have the baggage Nick has. He didn’t lie to you.” She rubbed her forehead tiredly. “I wish I’d known all this a long time ago.”

“So do I. Maybe if I’d tried to talk to you, made you understand, I never would have married Hugh. But I took the easy way out, and I paid for it. It’s too late to change the past, but at least I can try to salvage the future.”

“You’re right, and I promise not to say another word about the divorce.” Her lips twitched. “Did Hugh really have an affair with Peggy?”

“Yes. Among others. He does have appalling taste, doesn’t he?” I grinned.

She laughed. “Helena hasn’t called me since you confronted Gretchen in the store. I think she’s dug herself a hole somewhere and crawled inside to hide from the 165

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embarrassment. She was so sure the problems between you and Hugh were all your fault.”

“In a way, they were. It takes two people to make a marriage work and I wasn’t interested in trying. If I had been, Hugh might not have felt the need to turn to other women. We might have learned to love each other.”

“No.” Her voice was quiet. “You and Nick were inseparable from the day you met.

You never could have loved Hugh the way did Nick, and it wouldn’t be fair for either you or Hugh to settle for second best. You’re doing the right thing.” She picked up the knife, lifted out a huge slab of cake, and deposited it on my plate. “Now, eat up.”

“Mama?”

She looked up at me.

“I love you.”

We almost knocked the table over in our rush to hug each other, and both of us were soaked from our tears. We continued to sniff and smile while we devoured half the cake, and I figured both of us were going to be sick before the night was over. But it didn’t matter if we were. We had regained something that was broken. Our trust and closeness. And I was going to make sure our relationship was never damaged again. I was finally starting to remember something I’d once known, but had forgotten. Lies and half-truths hurt not only the liar, but the people they love most.

Uneasily, I pushed thoughts of Nick aside. I suppose it was at that point when I understood he would have to be told the truth about Katie, something I wasn’t prepared to consider just yet. I also knew I couldn’t be honest with him until he granted me the same concession. Whether or not we had a future together was immaterial until we could untangle all the lies and pain from our past.

* * * * *

Tuesday evening I left Southern Supply and went straight to the hospital to visit the Judge. It was Aunt Darla’s turn to sit with him, and from the looks the Judge was giving her when I walked in, I figured he’d about gone his limit. Taking pity on his inability to escape, I sent her down to the cafeteria to get something to eat.

When she was gone, the Judge breathed a sigh of relief. “That woman is gonna drive me to drink.”

“She’s worried about you.” I couldn’t help the smile I gave him.

“The only thing she’s worried about is getting everybody else to do what she wants.

How the hell I raised a daughter that thinks her way is the only way, I’ll never understand. Come to think about it, she reminds me a lot of your Great-Grandma Hoskins.”

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Grandma Hoskins was the Judge’s mother-in-law, and from all accounts she’d been a real tyrant. She was the bane of his existence before she died, ruling her husband and daughter with an iron fist. I’d heard the Judge say many times that it was nothing short of a miracle that he’d gotten my grandmother away from her long enough to elope.

We dropped the subject of Aunt Darla when an aide came in with his supper tray. I helped him get fixed in the bed, and took the covers off his food. I also noted that he ate without complaining about the lack of salt. The stroke must have really scared him.

“Have the doctors told you when you can come home yet?”

“Friday, maybe, if things keep looking good. Are you keeping an eye on my garden?”

“Yes, sir. Checked it last night after I got back from Mama’s. Everything looks fine.” He eyed me for a second, the overhead light glinting off the lens of his glasses. “You and your mama talking to each other again?”

I nodded. “She understands now why I’m divorcing Hugh.”

“It’s about time. I was getting tired of seeing the two of you moping around.

Besides, I never figured out why you married Hugh in the first place. You deserved someone better.”

“Like who?” I held up a hand. “No, on second thought, don’t answer that. I’m not sure I want to know.”

But of course, I knew exactly who he was talking about. And as though the conversation had conjured him out of thin air, Nick came though the door, followed by Bowie. I could tell the Judge was delighted with his visitors.

Not long after the men arrived, Mama and Daddy showed up, and Mama had to hug Nick and fuss over him until it got downright embarrassing. When he finally escaped, he leaned against the wall next to my chair.

“She makes me feel like I’m still ten years old.” He smiled down at me.

“That’s Mama for you.” From across the room, she was beaming at us happily. I nearly groaned. In spite of our talk last night, or maybe because of it, I could almost see the image of wedding bells forming above her head.

Trying to ignore her, I glanced back at Nick. “How’s the house coming along?” I knew they had all the walls studded up this morning when I left for work, and I’d seen the delivery invoice for the roof trusses.

“Faster than I expected. We got all the trusses on today, and they’ll start on the decking tomorrow if it doesn’t rain. I could use some advice on a few things though, if you’ve got the time this evening.”