The Sweet Gum Tree (31 page)

I fought off a shiver, fought off the need to feel his mouth on mine again. “No, but I don’t want you or Daniel to get caught in the middle of this, either.”

“I’m not worried about it.” His arm tightened around my waist, pulling me closer against his body. “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.” He did care, though, deeply, whether he admitted it or not. But against my better judgment, I gave in and slid my arms around his neck. It simply felt too good, being with him this way, and I still ached with need from our passionate session in the barn last night. Even sleep had brought no ease, because I’d dreamed about making love with him. It had been so long since I’d felt any desire, felt anything, that now I was like a firecracker with a lit fuse, ready to explode at any second.

The song ended and another one started. I took the opportunity to check on Jenna and Hugh. To my surprise, they were on the dance floor, arms around each other in much the same position Nick and I were in. Once again, I frowned. Something about the way they looked at each other set off a niggling feeling in my head, but I couldn’t figure out why. It was like a word that’s right on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t quite get it into the forefront of your memory.

“They sure look cozy,” Nick said.

And his comment was all it took. Suddenly I was bombarded by memories. Jenna chasing Hugh in grade school, telling me how cute he was. Her laughing with him in junior high, and later, getting upset when she found out I was dating him to cover my relationship with Nick. Her reaction after graduation when she found out Hugh had married me. All the nights Hugh hadn’t come home, nights when I hadn’t been able to reach Jenna either. And most damning of all, the expression on her face Sunday evening when I’d jokingly accused her of having an affair without telling me. The same night I thought I’d heard someone sneaking out her front door.

I stumbled as the knowledge slammed into me, and came to an abrupt staggering halt. “Oh, my God.”

“Alix? What’s wrong?” Nick’s voice sounded worried, but I couldn’t tear my eyes off Hugh and Jenna.

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“Oh, my God,” I repeated, stunned. “It was Jenna. All this time, she was the other woman.”

“You can’t know that.”

But I did. I knew it right down to my soul, couldn’t understand how I’d missed it all those years. Instinctively, mindlessly, my feet took a step back. Almost as if my stare had drawn her attention, Jenna looked around and our eyes met. The blood drained from her face and she pushed Hugh away as though he’d burned her. I saw her lips form my name as she started toward me.

I took yet another step back, then another. “No,” I whispered. Until then, I’d been in shock, but now equal measures of pain and anger hammered into me. If I had to confront her now, I didn’t know what I’d do. So even as Nick moved to block her from reaching me, I turned and ran.

Someone called my name, but I didn’t slow. I plowed through the crowd, pushing people out of my way with a strength born of desperation. I had to get out, get away from her, for both our sakes. I had to breathe.

Panting like a marathon runner at the end of a race, I jumped into the Chevy and tore out of the parking lot, slinging gravel behind me as the rear end fishtailed. I was pushing the old car harder than I ever had before, and if I’d been thinking straight I would have known better.

Ten minutes later, just as I reached the skeletal remains of the Star-Vu Drive-In, the Chevy hiccupped, stalled, caught again, and then died with a strangled wheeze.

Cursing under my breath, tears streaming down my face, I wrestled the steering wheel around and let the car glide to a stop near the ancient screen. It was the last straw.

I was so far gone I didn’t pay any attention to the lights from Nick’s truck, illuminating the rows of headless metal stands, as he pulled into the lot. In a rage, I jumped out of the Chevy and kicked it as the headlights behind me went out. Then kicked it again and again, teeth clenched together to stop the screams that were fighting to get out. When I started beating the hood with my fists, Nick grabbed me from behind, pinned my arms to my sides and lifted me off my feet.

It only made things worse. “God damn it! Let me go,” I screamed in fury, struggling with all my might.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” He turned me to face him without releasing his hold. “If you need to hit something, hit me.”

I lost control, totally and completely. Furiously, I pounded on his chest, sobs tearing my throat raw. He never even flinched, just stood there like a block of granite until I wore myself out. Slowly, my blows weakened, came farther apart. And then I was in his arms, my mouth on his.

“Make love to me,” I whispered.

“Alix, you’re too upset—”

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I cut his words off with another kiss. “I need you, damn it. Now shut up and make love to me.”

A low growl started in the back of his throat as I trailed hot kisses over his jaw, down his neck. Frantically, nearly tearing the material in my haste, I unbuttoned his shirt, desperate for the feel of his skin. His hands slid to my bottom, cradled and lifted me until I was pinned between his body and the car. When he reclaimed my mouth, took control, I wrapped my legs around his waist like a heat-seeking missile, doing my best to get closer to the flames.

I was vaguely aware of the sounds of traffic from the highway, but the old theater screen blocked us, hid us from the view of passersby. And even if it hadn’t, I honestly don’t think I would have cared. I was lost in Nick’s scent, the feel of his body moving with agonizing friction against the material that separated us.

Mindless with the sensations coursing through me, I felt him shove my jacket down my arms, felt his hands move under my tank top as I arched my back. Then we were in the backseat of the Chevy, clothes flying in every direction as we strained to rediscover territory that had once been so familiar.

The night was hot and sweat slicked our bodies as we moved together, silk sliding on silk. With hands and lips we fought each other for dominance, wanting to be the first to torment, to please. My whimpers echoed in the night as Nick rasped a continuous stream of love words, expressions of desire so heated they served to inflame me even more.

Countless times we drove each other to the ragged edge of completion, only to pull back at the last second, wanting the sweet torture to last. When Nick finally joined our bodies together, we were both crazed from the erotic battle we’d waged, a battle in which each of us would be the winner.

With the heady odor of lovemaking surrounding us in the enclosed space, with Nick’s mouth ravenous on mine, with his hardness filling me in a way I’d despaired of ever knowing again, I finally found release. It was so cataclysmic that I cried out, my body shaking with the rapture that consumed me. Nick captured my cries, held me and kept me safe as I convulsed. Then as my tremors began to ease, he stiffened, and I held him as he emptied his passion into my waiting body.

Joy like I’d never known before, as strong as the physical victory I’d found, settled around my heart like a warm blanket. I wanted to stay here forever, never let go of him again.

He must have been feeling something similar, because he made no effort to move away. Quietly, we clung to each other, a hand occasionally moving, soothing the tics and twitches of aftershocks as our breathing settled back to normal.

“Christ,” he whispered, voice still husky with desire. “If this is another dream, I hope to God I never wake up.”

“It’s no dream.” My hand slid down the long hard muscles of his back. “Do you realize the last time we made love was in this same place?” 176

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“I know.”

“But this time it’s going to be different.”

He levered his weight up on his elbows and threaded his fingers tenderly through my hair as he gazed down at me. “How?”

“This time, I’m not going to let you leave. I want you to stay with me tonight.” A smile curved his lips. “You don’t hear me arguing, do you?” It took us almost an hour to find all of our clothes, sort out what belonged to whom in the darkness, and then assist each other in dressing. The last was more hindrance than help, since we used it as an excuse to renew our teasing, touching, torment. All our inhibitions had vanished like a puff of smoke in a high wind. We positively wallowed in the pleasure brought on by the knowledge that we were free to do anything we desired to the other’s body. And each action built the desire anew, rekindled the thirst we’d so recently slaked.

Back at my room in the barn, we made love again and again. Slower now that the first frenzy had been sated. And between times, we’d talk.

Once I asked him, “Does this make me an adulteress? My divorce isn’t final until tomorrow, so technically, I’m still married to Hugh.” Nick had his head propped on one hand, the other tracing light patterns on my stomach, then between my breasts. We’d left a small lamp on, so I had no trouble seeing his gray eyes shift to mine.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

His hand stopped moving. “Do you feel married to him?”

“No. I haven’t for a long time.”

“Do you feel guilty?”

“Not in the least.” I stretched. “I feel wonderful.”

“So tell me, if we started making love at five minutes before midnight, and didn’t finish until after, would that make it adultery for the first part and not the last?” I tilted my head sideways and pretended to think about it for a second. “I don’t know. Why don’t we try it and find out?”

I’m happy to report that I felt no different before midnight than I felt afterward.

Yet another time he started the conversation. “Did you do this tonight just to get even with Hugh?”

We were lying spoon fashion, Nick’s front pressed firmly to my back, legs twined together. “No.” I didn’t even hesitate. “I didn’t care enough about what he was doing to want revenge.”

“But you were so damn upset earlier.”

I turned over, pushed Nick onto his back, then lay across his chest so I could look at his face. “Yes, I was. I’d just found out that someone I loved and trusted has been using 177

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me all these years. I don’t know. Maybe I used it as an excuse. But the truth is, I’ve wanted this from the second you walked into the store that first day. I just couldn’t admit it to myself. Tonight, you were there when I needed someone the most, needed you the most.”

His hand slid down my back. “I always will be.” He hesitated. “But I don’t think Jenna was using you, Peewee. I saw her face when she realized you’d figured it out. She was scared right down to her toes. She loves you, too.” With a sigh, I rested my cheek on his shoulder. “Maybe. I need time to think about it, sort it all out in my head. And I don’t want to do it now.” I felt his lips curve in a smile against my hair. “What do you want to do?”

“Guess.”

He got it right the first time.

After that we slept, curled together on the narrow bed, bodies tangled as though afraid the other would vanish if we let go for a single instant. Once, I woke up and just lay quietly, watching his face with a touch of awe. He was so damn beautiful that it set an ache burning in my middle, the same feeling I got from watching a glorious sunset, or seeing a work of art that touched me.

Even relaxed in sleep, his face was ruggedly male, the stubble of a night’s growth of beard shading his jaw, raven hair tousled from hours of lovemaking. He was magical, a lone wolf that had chosen to subdue his strength, rest a while among mere mortals. And this magnificent creature wanted me. It was almost more than I could believe, and a streak of pure fear hit me at the thought of losing him again, a distinct possibility when the past dangled over us like the sword of Damocles.

I couldn’t go on this way much longer. For the sake of my sanity, we had to get the past out into the open and deal with it. Until we did, I couldn’t let myself love him completely, couldn’t open myself to more pain. There was only so much one person could stand, and I’d reached my limit.

But for tonight, this one single night, I only wanted to be with Nick, to let go and love him unconditionally as I had before, no matter what tomorrow might bring. And so I snuggled down beside him, smiling when his arms came around me and pulled me closer.

When I next woke, it was to a slow-building heat and a sensation of delicious friction. I opened my eyes to find Nick watching my face intently as he made love to me. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve dreamed about waking you up this way?” he whispered.

“How many?” I arched to accept him more completely.

“Every damned day of my life.” A low groan rumbled in his chest. “Christ. I’d be in a room full of people, start thinking about making love to you in the morning, and then I’d spend the next half hour trying to hide the results.” 178

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“I kind of like the results,” I murmured. “It would be a real shame to let it go to waste.”

He threaded our fingers together, closed his eyes, and touched his forehead to mine. “You may regret saying that when I show up at Southern Supply this afternoon and drag you to bed.”

“Not a chance,” I whispered. By then, our breathing had quickened and any possibility of rational conversation fled, lost in pure desire. It was nearly dawn and we were both caught up in the realization that, all too soon, our night together would be over. And so we prolonged the moment as long as possible, until we couldn’t deny our parting another minute.

“I have to get ready for work,” I said quietly.

“I know. And I need to get out of here before the crew shows up next door.” Swinging my feet to the floor, I watched him pull his jeans on. He caught me staring and smiled.

“Can I see you again tonight?”

I took a deep breath and expelled it in one solid puff. “That depends.” He paused. “On what?”

Nervously, I clenched my hands in my lap, but I was determined to get this over with. “On whether or not you’re ready to talk.” His gaze drifted away from me, and I saw the tension in his jaw. I sat there waiting while images only he could see flashed through his mind. Abruptly, he nodded.