The Tide Knot (5 page)

  “I wonder how the sea always knows just how far to come, and no farther,” I say to Conor. “It’s so huge and powerful, and it rol s in over so many miles. But it stops at the same point every tide.”

  “Not quite at the same point. Every tide’s different.”

  “I know that. But the sea doesn’t ever decide to rol a mile inland. And it could if it wanted, couldn’t it? With all the power that’s in the sea, why does it stop here when it could swallow up the whole town?”

  “Like Noah’s flood.”

  “What?”

  “You remember. God sent a flood to drown the whole world and everything in it because people were so evil. But Noah built his ark, and he survived. And when the flood was over, God promised he’d never do it again.”

  “Do you believe in God, Conor?”

  “I don’t know. I tried praying once, but it didn’t work.”

  “What did you pray about?” But I already know. Conor would have prayed for Dad to come back. I know, because I did the same. I prayed night after night for Dad to come back, after he disappeared. But he never did.

  “You know, Saph.”  

  “Yeah. Me too.”

  “Did you pray as well ?”

  “Yes. Every night for a long time.”

  “But nothing happened.”

  “No.”

  “You know what the story says that the rainbow is? The Noah story, I mean.”

  “No.”

  “It’s a sign that there’ll never be another flood like the one that drowned the world.”

  “Hey, Con, I forgot to tell  you. I met a girl called Rainbow.” But Conor isn’t listening. He’s shading his eyes and staring into the distance, out to sea. At first I think he’s looking for surfers, but then he grabs my arm. “There! Over there by the rock! Did you see her?”

  “Who? Rainbow?” I ask, like an idiot.

  “Elvira,” he says, as if that’s the obvious, only answer. As if the one person anyone could be looking for would be Elvira.

  He never talked about her. Never even said her name.

  But she must have been in his mind all the time, since the last time he spoke to her. That was just after Roger and his dive buddy Gray were almost kill ed when they were diving at the Bawns.

  I remember how Conor and Elvira talked to each other, once we’d got Roger and Gray safely into the boat. Conor was in the boat, leaning over the side, and Elvira was in the water. They looked as if there wasn’t anyone else in the world. So intent on each other. And then Elvira sank back into the water and vanished, and we took the boat back to land.

  “I can’t see Elvira,” I say. “I can’t see anything.”

  “There. Fol ow where I’m pointing. Not there—
there
.

  No, you’re too late. She’s gone.”

  “Are you sure, though, Conor? Was it really Elvira?”

  “It was her. I know it was her.”

  “It could have been part of a rock.”

  “It wasn’t a rock. It was her.”

  “Or maybe a surfer—”

  “Saph, believe me, it was Elvira. I couldn’t mistake her for anyone else.”

  I still don’t think it was. I have no sense that the Mer are close. Not Faro, or his sister, or any of the Mer. But in Conor’s mind a glimpse of a rock or a seal or a buoy turns into a glimpse of Elvira.  

  “I keep nearly seeing her,” says Conor in frustration, “but then she always vanishes. I’m sure it was her this time.”

  “You can’t be sure, Conor.”

  “She was out in the bay earlier on, when the dolphins came.”

  “Are you certain? I didn’t see anything.”

  “She was there; I know she was. I saw her out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned, she was gone. I expect it was because Mal and his dad were there. Elvira wouldn’t risk them seeing her.”

  “Do you think they could?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe it’s only us who can see the Mer. Because of what Granny Carne said, you remember, about our blood being partly Mer. Maybe even if Faro or Elvira swam right up to the boat, Mal and his dad still wouldn’t see them.” I remember the words Faro said to me:
Open your eyes.
 

  Maybe that doesn’t just mean opening your eyelids and focusing. Maybe it’s to do with being willing to see things even if your mind is telling you that they can’t possibly be real—

  “Of course they’d see Elvira if she was there,” Conor argues. “You’re making the Mer sound like something we’ve imagined. Elvira’s as real as—as real as…Saph, why do you think she’s hiding? Why won’t she talk to me?”  

  “I don’t know.”

  I don’t think I should say any more. Our roles seem to be reversing. Suddenly I’m the sensible, practical one, and Conor is the dreamer, longing for Ingo.
No. Be honest,
Sapphire. It’s not Ingo he’s longing for; it’s Elvira.
And maybe that’s what is making me so sensible and practical—

  “We’d better go home, Conor. It’s starting to rain.”

  “Saph, you said it!” Conor swings round to face me, smiling broadly. “You said it at last. I had a bet with myself how long it would be before you did.”

  “Said what? What are you talking about?”

  “Didn’t you hear yourself? You said ‘home.”

 
“I
’m just taking Sadie out, Mum!” I call up the stairs. It’s Sunday night. Mum and Roger are painting the baseboards in Mum’s bedroom. They have stripped off the dingy cabbage rose wall paper, and now the bedroom walls are bare to the plaster. Our landlady says we can decorate as much as we like, and I’m not surprised. Her paint and wall paper are not only hideous but also old and covered in marks. When we got here, Mum wanted to paint all the rooms white.

  “It’s a new start for all of us, Sapphy!” I’ve painted my room blue and green, so that it looks like the inside of a wave. Our landlady, Mrs. Eagle, has been up to see it, and she says it is ’andsome. Mrs. Eagle is old. Her name doesn’t sound at all Cornish, but that’s because she married a man who came to St. Pirans from upcountry during the war, she says. He died long ago. She must be about eighty, and she owns six houses in St. Pirans, all of them full of cabbagy wall paper, I expect. But the rent is low, Mum says, and that’s all that matters. Rents in St. Pirans are terrible.

  Mum appears at the top of the stairs. “It’s late, Sapphy.

  Can’t Conor take Sadie out?”

  “He’s doing his mathematics homework.”  

  This is strictly true, but I haven’t asked him anyway, because I want to go out on my own. St. Pirans is different when the streets are empty, and it’s dark, and there’s no one at all on the wide stretch of Polquidden Beach. I feel as if I can breathe then.

  “All right, but don’t be long. Let me know when you’re back.”

  Lucky it’s Mum, not Roger. Although he hasn’t known me very long, Roger is disturbingly quick to grasp when he is being told only a part of the truth or indeed none of the truth at all .  

  The wind has died down over the weekend. It’s a cold, still night, and the air smell s of salt and seaweed. The moon is almost full , and it is riding clear of a thick shoal of clouds. I decide to take Sadie away from the streetlights onto the beach, where she can chase moon shadows.

  I head down to Polquidden. The bay is full . It’s high tide.

  An exceptionally high tide. It’s not due to turn until eleven tonight, but look how far it’s come up the beach already. It reminds me of the autumn equinox, when the water came up right over the slipway and the harbor road.

  There is still a strip of white sand left, but the water is rising quickly, like a cat putting out one paw and the next.

  Something else that surprises me is how quickly the sea has calmed. Surely the water should be much rougher than this after all the wind yesterday and today? The stillness is eerie.  

  Sadie doesn’t want to go down the steps. She puts her head down, with her legs braced apart.

  “It’s all right, Sadie, you’re allowed on the beach now, remember?” I give a gentle tug on her leash, but she won’t budge.

  “Sadie, you’re being very annoying.”

  I am longing to be down on the sand. I pulls a little harder, but she digs in her claws. I don’t want to force her.

  “All right then, Sadie. Wait here a minute.” I loop her leash around a metal post. Sadie whines.

  There’s enough moonlight for me to see her face. She is pleading with me to stay, but I’m going to harden my heart this time. I’ve got to go down to the beach. The urge is so powerful that I ignore Sadie’s voice, give her a quick hug, say, “Stay, Sadie!” and then hurry down the steps.

  There’s a sound of running water on my right. It’s the stream that tumbles down the rocks onto the beach.

  Children play in it and make dams in summer. The water glints in the moonlight as it pours over the inky black rock.

  The sea is still rising. Why does it look so powerful tonight, even though there are no wild waves, no foam, no pounding of surf?

  There’s not much beach left. I walk to my right, toward a spine of rocks that juts from the glistening sand. A wave flows forward, and I leap up onto the rocks to keep my trainers dry. But I’m still not high enough, because now the water is swirling at my heels. I scramble up again onto dry rock and look back. The bay is full of moonlight and water.

  The sea is lapping around my rock already.

 
Sapphire, you idiot, you’re cut off!
But it’s not very deep yet. Even in the dark I’ll be able to wade back easily before the tide comes in any farther. I’ll just take my trainers off. But I’d better be quick; look how the water’s rising—

  “You’ll have to swim,” says a voice behind me. I start so violently that I almost fall off the rock. A strong hand grasps my wrist.

  “It’s me, Sapphire.”

  “Faro.”

  “Yes.”

  Suddenly I’m angry with him. “Why don’t you and Elvira come and see us in daylight, like you used to?” I ask sharply. “Conor keeps looking for Elvira. Where is she?”

  “Here and there,” he says, with a gleam of laughter in his voice. “Around and about. Just like me.”

  “Don’t laugh at me!” I say angrily. “I hate it when people are here one moment and then they just—” I swallow the words I was going to say.

  “I didn’t disappear,” says Faro seriously. “I won’t ever disappear. I promise you. But in St. Pirans it’s more difficult for you to see us. Even at night it’s not easy. There are so many people. And besides, St. Pirans is not our place.”  

  “I know that,” I say gloomily. “It’s not mine either.”

  “But you’re human. That’s what humans do, isn’t it? They crowd together in towns and cities. They love it when everything is covered over with concrete and tarmac.” Faro brings out the word “tarmac” with pride. He loves to impress me with his knowledge of the human world.

  “You’ve been talking to the gulls again. Do you even know what tarmac is, Faro? Or concrete?”

  “Of course I do. It’s stuff that humans pour on the earth to stop it breathing.”

  The moonlight is strong enough for me to see his face clearly. “Faro, have you grown older?”

  I know that their time runs differently from ours. Is it possible that Faro has grown a year when I’ve grown only a few months? Or maybe he only looks older because of the expression on his face.

  “You can enter Ingo in darkness, even from here, Sapphire. You already know that.”

  A tremor of fear and anticipation runs through me. “But I can’t come to Ingo now, Faro. Mum’s expecting me back with Sadie. If I’m away more than half an hour at most, she’ll go crazy.”

  “You don’t need to worry about that. Time is hardly moving at all tonight.” He says it casually, as if saying that a boat is hardly moving across the water.  

  “What do you mean?”

  “What I say. It’s a fortunate night, Sapphire. Come to Ingo now, and you’l be back almost before you’ve gone. Look up at the moon.”

  I stare up at the moon. The clouds look as if they are flying away from its bright surface. Moonlight bathes my face with silver.

  “You’re already in Ingo, Sapphire,” says Faro.

  He is right. Deep in my heart, I’ve already left the Air. The powerful, silent swel of the tide is covering my feet, my knees, my waist. The next pulse of water lifts me from the rock and swallows me into the sea.

  Into Ingo. I let out my breath, and it hardly hurts at all . I am breathing without breathing, my body absorbing oxygen from the rich water. My hair flows upward, then swirls down around my face. I push it aside. Ingo. I am in Ingo again, just as I was two nights ago. There’s a path of moonlight striking down deep into the water. I plunge forward and follow it.

  How strongly I can swim in Ingo. My strokes are far more powerful than anything I can do in the Air. Below me, moonlight catches the glisten of the white sand on the seabed. The water doesn’t feel cold. It feels like—it feels like…

  Like home. Like the place where I am meant to be. I open my eyes wide and turn my head, and there is Faro swimming alongside me. The underwater moonlight shines on his tail.  

  “Look!” He points down. There’s a shadowy hulk, half buried in the seabed. It’s not a reef, or a dead whale, or anything that belongs to Ingo. It’s something that belongs to the Air. Metal. Yes, that’s what it is. A metal ship, half rotted away with rust, sailing to nowhere.

  “I know what that is,” I say. “It’s the wreck of the
Ballantine
. You can see her funnels from the beach at low tide.”

  “The wind drove her onshore, and she was broken up,” says Faro. “We called and called to warn the sailors, but they couldn’t hear us.”

  “Faro, the wreck happened seventy years ago. Why do you always talk about history as if you were there?”

  “Open your mind, Sapphire. Let’s talk to each other like we did last summer.” He saw my memories, and I saw his.

  That’s what the Mer can do, because Mer minds are not quite separate from one another, as human minds are.

  “Do you want to see what happened?” asks Faro. He floats close to me. “Look at the
Ballantine
, Sapphire.” I gaze into the shadowy depths. We could swim down with a few strong strokes and touch the jagged metal sides of the drowned ship.