The Ties That Bind (36 page)

"I don't want you to, either. Simmons knows how serious this is and she struck me as a competent cop. She's got Bill's original notebook, she knows where things stand, and if she didn't think going back to Albuquerque was a good idea, she'd tell you."

"I know," I said. I'd thought about all of that, and concluded that Simmons wasn't a Keystone Kop and sure as hell wouldn't throw us to the wolves.
But sometimes, the wolves get past the fence
.

"And classes start soon for you. As fucked up as this is, life goes on in other quarters and I doubt this guy's going to follow you to Albuquerque. This is local shit, and bringing it to the big city opens them up to a lot more bullshit and a lot more risk they'll be caught."

"I guess. But if they still think we have the notebook, they might still think we're going to go public with it."

"Are you?" She sounded cautious.

"Fuck, I don't know. It was Bill's damn notebook and now it's Sage's and River's. If they want to go public, then they will. Or Sage might burn it and have a healing ceremony, which might put this whole fuckin' thing to rest."

"My advice?"

I knew she was going to tell me, no matter what I said.

"Keep it under wraps."

"That's what I was hoping you'd say."

"Think about it. When Simmons breaks this and gets a suspect in custody, that guy's going to spill it all. At that point, all the shit at Ridge Star is going to start going public anyway, without anybody's help. Bill's notebook will be used as motive for his death, and what's in it will also go public. Maybe not right away, but it will. Which reminds me, I've been thinking about your scenarios about what happened out there."

"Yeah? So what's the verdict? You think I could write a book?"

"You already have," she said, teasing me.

"But not about stuff like that. I could call this one 'Weird Shit on the Rez'."

"Catchy," she said. "Anyway--"

I shut up.

"I think you might be on to something with that whole scaring Bill scenario."

"The one where Kara thought it was possible a guy dressed up and went back to the wash?"

"I'm not sure I'm going to buy
that
part yet, but I do think they didn't want to kill him. I think they wanted him to keep quiet and leave things alone and they may have used Tonya as a threat or even threatened to go after Sage and River."

Whoa
. I hadn't even thought of that. After all, Bill had their names tattooed on his forearms. He talked about his kids to some of the guys, like Nestor. And working a roughneck crew like that, word spread.

"But things got out of hand," Chris continued, "And Bill died and now whoever started this ball rolling is trying to do damage control and they're hoping you're scared and you're going to drop this thing like a hot rock."

"For once,
mujer
, I want to."

"That's good news. But the events are now beyond you and Sage and River. Monroe and his guys escalated this and Sage's car is now at the police station. Maybe they didn't think Sage and River would talk to the police--yes, I know. Stupid," she said, interrupting me like she read my mind before I started talking. "But most murders are crimes of passion. Sometimes they're accidental. In either scenario, they're not thought out. And that means the aftermath is not thought out. So right now, these guys are trying to get things under control. They may not know yet that they can't, but I think it's a good idea that all of you are going back to Albuquerque. Let them assume that you're backing off and you're not going to remain involved. They'll relax, maybe even say stupid shit in a bar. And that's when they'll get caught."

Chris always sounded so logical. And in my gut, I knew that in most cases, that's how it happened. The law of probability was leaning in that direction. But the uneasiness that had been hovering at the back of my brain since the day River called Sage to tell her that he'd gotten a letter from their father remained.

"
Esa
?"

"Yeah. Sorry. Drifted off there."

"You weren't planning on going ninja again, were you?" Chris asked in her cop tone.

"Nuh-uh. Just thinking that I hope you're right."

"I am. And if I'm not, you'll be in Albuquerque where I can kick the asses of anyone who messes with you and yours. Speaking of, how're Sage and River? And Kara?"

"Kara is still my little sister but in a weird way, she's also this other adult who's been around and I will say that it's helped me a lot, having her on this wild hair fiesta."

Chris laughed. "Make sure you tell her that."

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled. "Moving along, River's River. Mr
.
Stoic. Physically, he's banged up but he uses that mountain man mystique to let us all know that it's just 'a little bit of bruising' or whatever. Emotionally, I know he's really upset that Sage was with him and got hurt. And that's why he was so relieved when she said she was ready to go home. I have a feeling he's going to stick around for a while, to make sure she's okay. Sage, on the other hand..." I took a deep breath then exhaled. "She was pretty freaked out but the note in her car pissed her off. However, I think she's ready to move on and she's hoping Simmons can figure it out. But there's something else there, and I'm not sure what."

"Are you pushing her?"

"No. But I'm not hiding, either."

"Good job,
amiga
. You've got your game plan in order," Chris said, and I heard warmth in her voice, coupled with relief. "She'll tell you when she's ready. And you'll know when to push a little bit. Stick with it. And get your ass back to Albuquerque where I can keep an eye on it."

"You want to watch my ass? Is Dayna okay with that?"

"Of course. The two of us will. We've got lawn chairs and binoculars. We'll sit across the street from your house."

I laughed. "Scary. All right,
mujer
. I'm gonna go do some mindless TV-watching. I'll call you tomorrow when we're back for sure."

"
Muy bien
. Get some rest, too.
Hasta
."

We hung up and I set my phone next to the lamp on the shelving unit that passed as a bedside table in these motels. I heard a muted slurping as water drained out of the tub and I smiled before turning on the TV with the remote, going to the Weather Channel. Stretching out on the bed, I settled in to watch one of the meteorologists explain a weather pattern in the Midwest and for the first time in a couple of weeks, I almost felt relaxed.

"How's Chris?" Sage asked as she emerged from the bathroom wearing a baggy pair of shorts and an even baggier T-shirt. She joined me on the bed.

"Glad we're coming home." I told her what else we'd talked about and Sage snuggled next to me, throwing her right arm over my abdomen.

"I don't have any plans to go public with the notebook," she said when I finished. "River thinks it's stupid and dangerous, even after someone's caught. It is, but it's also bad ju-ju. It'll come out. I don't want to be the catalyst for it. I just want to get through this." She paused. Then, "I have no idea why the hell I thought I wanted to know more."

I didn't answer right away and instead stroked her hair, still damp. "Because it's the kind of situation that people need to try to understand. Maybe it's some unfinished business between you and your dad."

"Mmm," she responded. "I do think, however, that what my father found should go to some kind of oversight agency. Not that it'll change anything. But it might. Maybe there'll be a class-action lawsuit down the line." She sighed. "I'm tired of this, honey. And I know I've put you through a lot." She stroked my bare arm.

"It works both ways. I just need to know that we can talk about things." I waited then, sensing that Sage was going to tell me what had been on her mind earlier. She continued stroking my arm and her lips brushed my neck.

"I thought maybe going 491, I could get a better sense of what happened out there," she said after a few minutes had passed. "I don't know why. Maybe because it feels closer to where he died and the reservation as a whole." Her fingers stopped moving on my arm and she sat up so she could look at my face. "I thought there might be answers out there. But I realized that I don't even know what the questions are."

I stayed quiet, letting her continue.

"And when that fucker bashed us from behind and we were going off the road, I thought about River and that I'd fucked up with him because I'd wanted to go 491 and then I thought about you and how upset you were going to be if this was it. And I thought how awful it was, and that all I really wanted was to see you again."

I cleared my throat but the lump in it made it difficult. I fought the tears building in my eyes.

She offered a half-smile. "And I knew you'd be thinking 'why the fuck did she go
that
way'?"

I smiled back but kept my mouth shut.

"And at the hospital, I was so sure you'd say something like that. But you didn't. I brought it up. You didn't. And that's when I knew how hard you've been working to change the way you do things, and how hard you've been working to be supportive while trying to keep yourself from flying off the tracks."

A tear slid out of my eye before I had a chance to stop it. She wiped it off with her fingers.

"I think I could have handled this better," she said. "I think I could've been more open with you about my feelings and things I was trying to figure out, and I realized that because of my past with my father, I don't know how to do that."

My gut churned. What was she going to say? Was she done?
Oh, no. Please, no...

"Honey, it's okay," she said, soothing, recognizing my freak-out body language. "Did you just jump to the absolute worst-case scenario?"

"Um," I started.

"We'll talk about that later." She smiled. "And we'll talk about things that I should have told you already. What I realized is that I need to get some shit together. So I'm going to find a therapist when we get back to Albuquerque. I need to work through some of my baggage with Dad and with Mom, too. I don't want the habits I developed in the past to fuck things up in the future. Or at least I want to be able to deal better with things as they happen." She wiped another tear off my face.

"Wow," I said. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, not yet. I need to do this stuff alone first and then maybe if we feel we need to, we'll find someone to go to as a couple." She rolled her eyes. "But you know how I am. It'll take me a while to find someone I can work with," she said before putting her fingers on my lips. "But I'll keep looking until I do. Even if I have to drive to Santa Fe a few times a month, this is far too important. You're far too important." She kissed me and a pleasant jolt raced through my stomach down to my toes, suffusing me with the warmth of certainty and hope, and for the first time since River got Bill's letter, things were right with the world.

"So how about a romantic dinner of Papa John's pizza with extra garlic dipping sauce?" I asked when Sage pulled away.

"You sure know how to impress a girl," she teased.

"Well, as I recall, you seduced me with a burger."

She grinned. "Hmm. I did. It had green chile on it. Maybe it was the green chile." She moved away, freeing me. "Order the pizza," she said in a tone of voice that made me ache in deep parts of my body. "Extra green chile."

I reached for the phonebook.

Chapter Twenty-Two

I FINISHED TRANSFERRING our duffle bags to the trunk of the silver Chevy Cobalt I'd just rented, declining any help from the young, strapping guy who looked like he lived to pump iron when he wasn't repping and shuttling for the car rental company. We only had two duffles, both of which probably weighed less than one of the dumbbells he no doubt used for preacher curls. My laptop I'd sent home with Kara.

"Got a little butch thing going on?" Sage asked as Mr. Junior Universe drove away.

I gave her an "I'm so sure!" look. "I didn't want him to have to wear himself out before the day's over. Poor thing."

Sage giggled and got into the passenger seat of the car. I closed the trunk and slid into the driver's seat, where I put my seatbelt on and looked over at Sage. "You ready to blow this pop stand?"

She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "Yes. Let's get the hell out of here."

I grinned and guided us out of the lot toward Main Street. Once there, we turned left, headed toward New Mexico 550. "You know, I found out about a great body shop in Albuquerque if the insurance company thinks your car can be salvaged."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Martinez, down on Gibson. I met his cousin a couple nights ago. From what he and his friends were driving, I'm thinking you could get an awesome lowrider out of this."

"A lowrider Toyota. Not sure I've seen one of those," Sage said with a laugh. "Not sure I want to, either."

"Just sayin'." I smiled at her and reached to turn on the radio just as her cell rang. I withdrew my hand before I pressed the button, waiting for her to take the call.

"Hey, Tonya," she said. "What's up?"

Oh, no. I gripped the steering wheel as a Very Bad Feeling stomped on my previous good mood.

"What? Slow down." Sage glanced at me. "Honey, pull over," she ordered.

Fuck.
I slowed at the entrance to a strip mall and pulled into the parking lot, listening to Sage talk, hearing a building anxiety. The Very Bad Feeling was sitting on my shoulder, laughing. I knew it was. It was laughing at me and saying, very quietly in my ear,

"Thought you were outta here, huh? Sucker!" My stomach sank.

"Who?" Sage was asking Tonya, urgency making her grip my arm. "Are you sure? Lock the doors. Now. And call nine-one-one. No, don't do that. Lock the doors. Don't go outside. No, don't. Lock--" Sage released my arm. "Tonya?" She hung up and stared at me, a mixture of fear, anger, and resignation in her expression. "We have to go to Tonya's."

"What?" I stared back at her. "No way. Call Simmons. Tell her there's something up at Tonya's, it's an emergency."