Authors: Iris Johansen
He had hurt her. After all the years of care and patience, he had reached out and grabbed what he wanted. She had come to try to give him what he wanted of her. He had ignored that gift and taken her body instead. Then, in the next breath, he had destroyed that fledgling trust.
What was he supposed to do? Tell her about Sinan? Neither she nor Ware must know before he left on the
Dark Star.
Damn, it had been hard not to tell her. Everything he wanted, she offered, and he’d thrown it back at her.
May God curse you, Sinan.
She was now lost in the shadows cast by the castle walls. He turned away and stared down the hill toward the harbor. He would board the
Dark Star
in the morning and tell Balkir to set sail at once. The sooner he reached Maysef, the sooner he could accomplish his mission and come home.
If he lived through it.
He would live. He wouldn’t let Sinan win by claiming either his soul or his life. He would come back to Montdhu.
He would come back to Selene.
Kadar wasn’t following any longer.
The drawbridge of the castle loomed ahead.
Selene could barely see anything in the dense shadows cast by the stone walls.
Soon she would be in her chamber, closing out the shadows, closing out Kadar.
Fool. She had been a fool. No more.
Build the wall again. Let no one in.
Safer that way. Let no one—
Agony seared through her left temple.
Darkness.
ALI BALKIR WAS WAITING on deck when Kadar walked up the gangplank of the
Last Hope.
“Good evening. What a fine ship you have. Almost as good as the
Dark Star.”
“Better,” Kadar said curtly. He was raw and frustrated and in no mood to confront Balkir tonight. If the captain pushed him, he’d probably break the bastard’s neck. “Go back to your ship. I told you I’d—”
“Give me your decision tomorrow,” Balkir finished for him. “But Sinan gives neither of us a choice. I have orders and they must be fulfilled. We’ve waited too long already. I’ve decided we leave tonight.”
“Indeed?”
Balkir started to take a step back and then stopped. “It would be most unwise of you to harm me. If I don’t return to the
Dark Star,
the consequences will be most unpleasant. I’ve taken measures to assure your compliance.”
Kadar stiffened. “What measures?”
Balkir’s smile was smug. “It was necessary. The master must be obeyed.”
“What measures?”
“The woman. Lord Ware’s kin, the sister of his wife. We’ve taken her. At this moment she’s on her way to the
Dark Star.”
“Selene?” Bluff. It had to be a bluff. “You lie.”
“I do not lie. I had Murad take her as she was returning to the castle.” He paused. “After we watched you coupling with her on the hillside.”
Terror iced through him. No bluff.
“Ah, you’re upset,” Balkir said. “It is natural. She is of some importance to you.”
It had been a mistake to let Balkir see that first response. It gave him a weapon. “She’s only a woman. I forgot her the moment I left her body. Why would you think anything else?”
“I don’t. As you say, a woman’s body is nothing, a toy.”
“Then release her.”
“But this woman is of importance to your friend Lord Ware. He will be able to barter her to gain lands and found alliances through marriage.” He tilted his head as if to consider. “Though her worth is considerably diminished since you’ve seen that she’s no longer a pure damsel. Still, she is comely, and that may help.”
Balkir was enjoying this, Kadar realized. The weasel thought he had the upper hand. “She’s of value to Ware. Not to me. Release her.”
“I think she is of value to you. I believe you would not want to face your friend with her blood on your hands.” He paused. “So you will come with me to the
Dark Star
and we will set sail at once.”
“You’ve done this for no
reason.
” His fists clenched at his sides. “Dammit, I was going to come with you anyway.”
“Then you’ll not mind coming now.” He moved toward the gangplank. “Before my men get impatient. They’ve had no women since we left Hafir, and fair-skinned women have only one purpose in their eyes. I’m sure Murad will tell them how willingly she took you between her thighs tonight.”
Kadar carefully controlled his rage. The time would come to kill Balkir, but this was not that time. “If I go, will you release her?”
“We will see.” Balkir’s smile was slyly triumphant. “I must think upon it. Come now. We must hurry.”
Selene’s eyes were closed, and a thin stream of blood trickled slowly from the wound on her temple.
“You bastard, you hurt her.” Kadar looked away from Selene lying on the bunk to cast a lethal glance at Murad. “How bad is it?”
“I think she’ll wake soon.” Murad instinctively moved closer to Balkir for protection. “It was necessary to be quick. We were close to the castle gates.”
“She’d better wake very soon, or the wound I put in
your
temple will pierce that ox of a brain.” Kadar sat down on the bunk. “Bring me cold water and a soft clean cloth.”
“I need Murad to help me put to sea,” Balkir said. “He’ll return as soon as he’s no longer required for more-important duties.”
“Water and cloth,” Kadar repeated. “Now.”
Balkir hesitated and then shrugged. “As you wish. A few more minutes will do no harm.”
“Very wise.” Kadar glanced at him. “I suppose that means you have no intention of releasing her?”
“I believe you knew that was a possibility. It seems the woman has more value than I thought for you. I’m sure Nas—Sinan would approve me giving him a weapon to guide you in the path he chooses.”
Yes, Kadar had known there was every chance the whoreson would make full use of Selene. That realization didn’t cool the rage searing through him. “This is between Sinan and me. She has nothing to do with it.”
“As I said, a weapon.” He turned to leave. “We put to sea at midnight. I must have Murad by that time. He may fetch and carry for you until then.”
Murad cast Kadar a quick glance before he scurried after his captain.
Kadar’s attention had returned to Selene, and he was barely aware they had gone. He gently stroked back the hair from Selene’s forehead. God in heaven, she was pale. Why didn’t she wake?
Selene slowly opened her eyes to see Kadar’s face inches from her own.
Joy flooded through her.
Kadar.
“Thank God. You took your time about it.” Kadar’s voice was unsteady. “How do you feel?”
Pain. Joy. Bewilderment. Too many feelings to give an answer.
“Do you feel sick in your stomach?” He dipped a cloth into a bowl of water and carefully dabbed at her temple. “Do you see me clearly?”
“No. Yes.” She frowned in confusion. Why was he asking these questions? She must be ill. She didn’t remember—
Then she did remember. Kadar. The wrenching sorrow and the anger. The flight up the hill. Pain. Darkness.
“You . . . struck me?”
“Lord, no.” His lips twisted. “I haven’t reached those depths of depravity yet. Though I can see why you might think so.”
“Who. . .” She glanced around her. A ship’s cabin, but not the
Last Hope.
She became aware of a familiar rocking movement. Her gaze flew back to Kadar. “Are we at sea?”
“Not yet.”
“What ship is this?”
“The
Dark Star.”
Her eyes widened. She whispered, “The Old Man of the Mountain. Sinan . . .”
He nodded. “He sent Balkir for me. I have no choice.” He paused. “And neither do you now.”
“There’s always choice.” She tried to sit up, and dizziness hit her like a hammer.
He pushed her back down. “You shouldn’t move.”
She wasn’t sure she could. “You can’t go to Sinan.”
“I gave my word.”
“To an assassin. You know how wicked he is.”
“The vow remains. Sinan and I understand each other.”
She knew they did, and the realization had always terrified her more than Sinan himself. She had seen how that dark life drew Kadar. “I won’t
have
it. We’re going back to the castle.”
He shook his head. “It’s too late. I’m going to Maysef and so are you. Balkir’s decided you’ll make a fine hostage.” His hand closed on hers. “Don’t be afraid. I promise, no harm will come to you.”
Hostage. She was going back to Sinan’s chill-ridden fortress in the mountains.
“Don’t look like that. I didn’t want this.” Kadar’s voice vibrated with intensity. “To have you involved is the last thing I intended.”
“No,” she said dully. “You just wanted to go away and close me out.” She shut her eyes. Her head was pounding, her mind whirling. “I have to think.”
“Just rest.”
Her eyes flew open and she glared at him. “And let you make decisions for me? I will not. Your stupidity has gotten us into this quandary. No one asked you to give Sinan that promise. We would have found a means to free ourselves. Now we have to find a way to keep Thea and Ware safe at Montdhu.”
“I told Ware that the
Dark Star
was here for me.”
“But you didn’t tell me.” She tried to smother the bitterness of the thought. There were other things to consider right now. “How soon before we sail?”
“Midnight. Perhaps a little less than an hour.”
“And where are we moored?”
“Dalkeith.”
“Our man, Robert, is at Dalkeith.”
“And Haroun.”
“He knew too? I wondered why Haroun wasn’t at the castle for the last few days.” She carefully raised herself on one elbow. “I need pen and parchment. I must send a note to Ware.”
“Saying?”
“What do you think? That I go willingly to Maysef and they’re not to follow. They’ll believe me. Thea knows I would have followed you anywhere.”
“Would have?”
She ignored his question. “You’re not the only one at fault in this situation. I should never have been idiot enough to leave the castle and come to you tonight. I’ll not have anyone else suffer for it. What are you waiting for? Do you wish Ware chasing after us and falling back into the hands of the Knights Templar? Ware and Thea are safe here. They have to stay safe. Get me pen and parchment.”
He nodded slowly and moved to the desk tucked into one corner of the cabin. He riffled in the drawer and set out parchment and ink. “It still may not help.”
“They have a child and responsibilities here at Montdhu, and they trust you.” She slowly sat up in the bunk. “But, I must be the one to give Haroun the message.” She straightened her hair, carefully covering the wound with a long strand. “Go tell Balkir to send for Haroun.”
“I’ll go myself. I doubt if he’d come for Balkir.” He moved toward the door. “Stay and rest until I come back.”
“How long will it take you?”
“They’re camped on the hill facing the harbor. A quarter of an hour.”
“Will Balkir let you go?”
“Oh, yes. He wants no trouble with Ware, and he thinks he’s found a way to control me.” He smiled grimly as he paused at the door. “He has you.”
“I’ll rest for a little while and then go on deck. Bring Haroun on board. I’ll give him the note myself. He has to see everything is well.” She gritted her teeth to ward off the pain as she swung her feet to the floor. She looked up to see Kadar still gazing at her. “Well, what are you doing just standing there? I don’t need your help.”
“My apologies. I was distracted.” He inclined his head. “I was just thinking how proud I am of you.”
He was gone before she could reply.
Get to the desk and write the note. Don’t think how pleased she would have been at those words of praise from him only yesterday. Don’t think of Kadar at all. Her efforts must be centered on keeping Ware and Thea out of this tangle.
“Don’t try to escape,” Balkir warned Selene. “You will say your piece to the man and then go back to your cabin.”
“Do you think I want to see him hurt?” Selene clutched the rail to keep from swaying. Sweet Mary, her head throbbed. “It would help if you’d try to keep from looking as if you’re about to throttle me.”
“Here they come,” Murad said.
Her gaze followed his to see Haroun frowning with concern as he scampered behind Kadar up the gangplank.
She forced a smile as she took a step forward. “Thank you for coming, Haroun. I know you’ll see that this note gets safely to Lord Ware.”
“You should not be here, Lady Selene,” he whispered, shooting a frightened glance at Balkir. “Come back with me. Lady Thea won’t like this.”
“I’m sure Kadar explained everything to you. I must go with him. Don’t worry, he’ll take good care of me.”
“She’ll be safe.” Kadar took her arm. He ignored her immediate stiffening as he added, “Tell Lord Ware he has my word on it.”
Haroun nodded jerkily. “I know he values your word. But Lady Thea will not—”
“You’ll have to hurry,” Selene interrupted. “We sail soon.” She handed him the note and brushed her lips across his cheek. “Go with God, Haroun.”
He gave her one last agonized glance, then turned and ran down the gangplank.
Her breath expelled in a burst of relief. It was done.
“You did very well,” Kadar murmured.
She shook off his grasp and stepped back. “Now, let’s put to sea before Ware has a chance to ride here and try to change my mind.”
“I captain this ship,” Balkir said testily. “No woman tells me when to sail.”
“You’d rather have to fight a battle? It doesn’t surprise me. I’ve noticed you have the brain of a—”
“Hush.” Kadar scooped her up in his arms and started down the deck toward the cabin.
“Put me down.”
“When I have you safely behind a closed door. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re outnumbered, and I doubt if I could keep Balkir from strangling you if you persist in antagonizing him.”
“He’s an idiot.”
“Granted. And he’ll get his just desserts. But not now.” He opened the cabin door and set her on her feet. “Go lie down while I help the ‘idiot’ get under way. I’ll be back as soon as I can. We have to talk.”
She shook her head.
He closed the door and leaned against it. “Stop treating me as if I were your enemy. Nothing’s really changed. I’m the same man you’ve known all these years.”
“Yes, you are.” She crossed the cabin and sat down on the bunk. “Exactly the same.”
“But now you wish nothing to do with me.”
“You were going to leave me.”
“I had to leave you.”
“Without telling me? Without giving me a choice? You promised me once that if you ever went back to Sinan you would tell me. You lied.”
“Yes.” He grimaced. “I thought it was safer.”