The Truth She Knew (2 page)

Jocelyn—we all called her “Joss”—had a way of smiling even while putting you in your place. She spoke with a soft, sweet voice even when she was pissed, but she didn’t have a mean bone in her body. It was the opposite, actually—she made sure no one got too crazy and would even hold your hair back if you were puking. She was the glue that held us together.

However, that was her downfall too, being a mom to us. She rarely stopped to have fun herself. Once you became friends with her you realized she’d been the parent at a young age. She not only took care of her mom and brother, but she dealt with her mom’s drunk boyfriends on top of it. She often stepped in and told them to leave when they got physical.

Joss could’ve had a bad attitude about a lot of things, but she didn’t. She embraced the people she loved and held them close. Thank God I was one of them.

We turned onto the road to Joss’s house, and the cars filled both sides of the long driveway. She lived a few miles off the main road, so there wasn’t much concern about the cops showing up. A house full of loud music and underage drinkers was a cop’s wet dream.

Everyone filed out of the car, chattering a mile a minute about which guys were supposed to show and who called dibs on them. I loved them; they were my friends, but sometimes the competition got stupid. Joss and I usually kicked back and laughed at what asses they made of themselves to get laid. Joss kept her legs closed unless she was in a committed relationship, and I still held the V title among most of my friends. Eighteen, in college, and a virgin, but it was my choice. I hadn’t met anyone that I loved enough to let it go, and the other reasons were, well, nothing I had ever shared with anyone before. Some secrets you just didn’t share.

We all went into Joss’s cozy house. I followed Tammy into the kitchen and settled in at the table.

“
Here ya go,” Tammy said as she plunked a Diet Coke on the kitchen table in front of me. “I give you shit, but I love ya.”

“
You
can
be a bitch sometimes, Tammy, but you have my back when I need it,” I said, grinning. I enjoyed giving her a hard time. I clinked my can against her glass full of rum and Coke and drank up to friendship.

Our toast was interrupted by a loud noise in the living room.

“
What the hell was that?” Tammy said, turning and running out of the kitchen. The commotion was so loud that I had to follow her. Guys, about six of them, laughing and hollering entered Joss’s living room. Several of them were already drunk.

We stood in the dining room doorway and waited to see if more were coming.

“
Oh my God! They’re all hot!” Tammy elbowed me excitedly in the side.

“
I’m lookin’, give me a minute,” I said as I peered around her.

They were so loud that I hadn’t heard Joss approach us from behind.

“
I hate to break up your ogling fest you two, but Lacey, your mom is on the phone. You can take it in my room so she can’t hear the party.”

“
You’re kidding right?”

“
Wish I was, but she really is on the phone,” Joss said.

“
Shit,” I muttered and slipped through the kitchen and family room to avoid the crowd. I closed her bedroom door to seal out the noise of the growing crowd and picked up the phone.

“
Hello?”

“
Lacey, it’s Patsy, you need to come home.”

“
What? Why?”

“
It’s your mama. Just come home.”

“
Patsy, is she okay? Is she sick? You gotta give me something,” I said. My stomach tightened as I remembered the last time Patsy asked me to come home.

“
We can get her through this; we just need to work together.”

“
Okay, okay, I’m on my way.”

“
Thank you,” Patsy said.

I didn’t bother saying goodbye. I hung up the phone and released a harsh breath. Nothing good ever came out of those calls. I grabbed my purse and jacket and asked Joss for a ride back to my car.

The party had tripled in less than an hour. The obnoxious but gorgeous group of guys stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by the majority of the girls at the party. I navigated my way through the crowd, and just before I reached the front door, an unfamiliar hand tugged at my arm. I turned and melted on the spot. The most piercing blue eyes greeted me.

“
Are you leaving?” he asked.

“
Yeah, family emergency,” I said.

“
Well shit, that sucks—I’d hoped I would get to talk to you tonight. What’s your name?”

“
Lacey. Yours?” I tilted my head and waited for his response.

“
Walker. Are you coming back?” he asked as his mouth curved into a smile.

The combination of his blue eyes and smile sent me into a mental tailspin. If a guy could be hot, beautiful, and breathtaking all at once, he was it.

“
I doubt it.” I frowned. I couldn’t believe my dumb luck.

He reached over to the coffee table, grabbed a pen and paper, and wrote something on it.

“
Here’s my number,” he said and handed it to me. “Call me. Please.”

I glanced at it to make sure a phone number was really written down, and that it wasn’t a joke.

“
I need to go, Walker. Thanks for your number,” I said and turned toward the door. I chanced a quick look over my shoulder to find him staring at me. He attempted a sheepish smile and waved. I couldn’t help but smile in return.

The warm air clung to my skin as Joss and I walked to her car. Even though fall lingered around the corner, it couldn’t get here fast enough. I hated the Arkansas heat. I also hated the mosquitoes that were big enough to carry a small child away.

Joss opened her car door and grinned at me from ear to ear.

“
What was that all about?” she asked as we slid into our seats.

“
He gave me his number. It’s probably his grandpa’s, but hey, I got a number.” I half-shrugged and smiled.

“
Uh huh,” Joss said as a lopsided grin spread across her face. She knew darned well I hoped differently.

“
You gonna call him? If you don’t, I will,” she said as her car roared to life.

“
You’re full of crap, Joss. You wouldn’t do that to me.”

“
I don’t know, that was the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.”

“
I can’t disagree with you, but for now, I need to deal with Mama.”

“
Did she say why she wanted you home?”

“
No, it was Patsy who called, so that means something’s up,” I said as I rubbed my forehead.

“
You do realize you’re eighteen, right? You don’t need to run home whenever she says to.”

“
I wish it were that simple.”

Joss knew when to let it go, and we rode in silence until she pulled up to my car.

The mall was dark and empty and my car was the only one in the parking lot. It creeped me out a little that no one else was around. I knew mall security was inside, but that didn’t help me out any.

“
Thanks, Joss, I really appreciate it.” I reached across the seat and gave her a hug. “Enjoy the rest of the party.”

“
Don’t worry, Lacey, I’ll throw more parties,” she said. Her nose crinkled as she smiled. I loved her smile. It was the kind of smile that made life a little better because you knew you had a good friend.

“
I’ll wait to make sure your car starts.”

“
Thanks, Joss,” I said as I closed her car door.

I didn’t drive the speed limit. I drove right under it until I realized my heart was pounding so hard it was making my head hurt. Life was a roller coaster with Mama. I never knew what to expect from one minute to the next. Patsy wouldn’t call me home for any reason at all, though. It was something big.

I reached our street and stopped on top of the hill for a minute. I stared down at the two-story log home, but it was hard to see the house in the darkness. Even though we had neighbors across the street and here on the hill, our house was well hidden at the end of the cul-de-sac. The grass was overgrown, and the trees were so thick in some places that you couldn’t see the house at all. That’s how Mama liked it. She went to great lengths to protect her privacy.

I pulled into the driveway and hopped out of my Mustang, Georgia. Mama and Patsy had bought her for me not long after graduation. Most of the time throughout high school I’d driven Mama’s car, since she rarely went anywhere. I came home one afternoon to a car in our driveway and asked if we had company. They toyed with me for a while and finally told me it was mine. My face lit up brighter than a Christmas tree when they handed me the keys. That had been a great day, not only because of the car, but because Mama had stayed in a good mood. Those days were few and far between, though.

I took a deep breath and tried to control the rapid pounding in my chest. Rex and Ruger met me at the base of the stairs and demanded my attention. I reached down and pet them both as they licked my hands and face. They always got so excited when I arrived home that they’d beat me half to death with their tails. They were good dogs, and nothing got by them. They barked at anything and everything, and that was one of the biggest reasons I’d never tried to sneak out of the house. I wouldn’t have a chance; they barked to high heaven at the slightest sound. Not only would they wake Mama, but the rest of the neighborhood as well.

As I climbed the stairs to the side door, I heard Mama and Patsy arguing. I quietly opened it and stepped into the kitchen, unsure of what to expect. A large coffee mug flew through the air and smashed into the kitchen cabinet to my left. It broke into a million pieces.

“
Dammit, Patsy, you’re just jealous! You’re jealous that I hear God better than you do. I call long distance, two thousand miles away, just to find someone else with the same gift so I can save your sorry ass from going to hell!”

I assessed the situation as quickly as possible: shattered cup, Mama’s hands bunched into tight fists, and her face reddened with anger. Mama’s size alone was intimidating, but when she was mad, her presence was overwhelming.

“
That’s not true, Lynn. I brought it up because $932 is a hefty phone bill that we can’t afford to pay. That’s the only reason I asked you to cut back on the calls,” Patsy said.

“
I can help pay it,” I said and stepped forward.

Both Patsy and Mama finally acknowledged I was standing in the room.

“
Lacey, that’s sweet of you, but it’s not your responsibility,” Patsy said. Her large, brown eyes flashed with gratefulness.

“
Patsy’s right, Lacey. You can’t even take care of yourself and stay out of trouble long enough to be of use to anyone else.”

I tried to shake off her words, but they still stung.

“
Patsy just doesn’t want me to talk to anyone else,” Mama whined.

I recognized the shift in her voice. We both did; we’d witnessed it a million times.

“
Mama, I love you and I don’t mind helping at all. You don’t ask me to pay any rent, so let me help.”

“
You and Patsy do whatever the hell you want to do.” Her chin jutted upward as she turned around and walked to her chair. She picked up the remote control and turned on the TV like nothing had happened.

I shot Patsy a look. Relief washed over her face and she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. It was over, for the moment anyway. I’d talk to her about the bill later. I set my purse and books on the kitchen table and picked up the pieces of the coffee mug that were scattered all over the floor. I put them in the trash and arranged the dirty paper towels on top so no one could see the remnants. It was yet another moment where I swept something up and hid it so others wouldn’t see anything broken.

Patsy sat on the couch and acted as though she was watching TV. I glanced over at Mama. Her eyes were closed and she was gently rocking in her chair, which meant she was most likely praying. Hopefully, things would remain calm for the evening. At least tomorrow was Saturday so if Mama was in a bad mood I had an excuse to leave.

I made the descent downstairs into the basement. I reminded myself that I needed to clean the family room; books and papers had piled up over time. Some of it was mine—I used the area to spread my books and papers out for research and homework—but a lot of it was Mama’s stuff. My bedroom was through the family room and tucked away in the back corner. If you hadn’t been back there before, you would never find it. That’s why I picked it.

I kicked through the pile of dirty clothes on my floor, placed my purse and books on my dresser, and flopped onto my bed. I was exhausted from classes, work, and Mama not having a good night. A hot knife ripped through me every time she was upset with us. Part of me wanted to run, but even the thought of not having Mama in my life immediately brought tears to my eyes. She knew me so well; she knew what I could do and what I couldn’t.

The realization of how many times she was right when she heard from God terrified me. I stared at my buttercream-colored bedroom walls and remembered the times I’d been caught toilet papering someone’s house, lying about where I stayed the night, and committing a multitude of other sins. There was no way she could have known about those incidents, so God must really tell her stuff. And the last thing I wanted was to burn in hell.

Mama’s voice startled me from my mental descent to fiery darkness. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but she sounded unhappy. I heard the phone clatter and her footsteps across the living room floor above me. The tone and volume of her voice were enough for me to stay downstairs and out of her way.

Her chair creaked and I let out a slow sigh. I listened for a few more minutes, but I didn’t hear any arguing or loud voices. I glanced at the clock and groaned. How could I be so tired at 9:45
p.m.
? If I were still at the party, I wouldn’t even consider crashing out this early.