The Unexpected Bride (Montana Born Brides) (13 page)

“But it’s true, Emma. Neither you nor I need any more crap. Think about it: we’re friends; we’ve lived in the same house now for nearly three months, so there’d be no surprises. And when you factor in our shared commitment to the kids, it seems like a great solution.”

“
A great solution
.” Emma repeated the phrase slowly, comprehending now that they’d been talking about two different things. She shut her eyes briefly, concentrating on steadying her racing heart. When it began beating a little more slowly, she opened them again and tried to keep her voice even-sounding. “So, with this
solution
, we’d just get married?”

“Yes.
Preferably as soon as possible.”

“And then, we’d carry on the way we are?”

Laurent’s mouth quirked. “Well, not quite the same.”

She shook her head.

“What is it, Emma? We’ve agreed that Evie hit upon something—“

“I think we got our wires crossed, Laurent.
I thought you meant that you were appreciating Evie’s logic when you said she’d had a cute idea. That you understood now she was just trying to sort things out in her child’s way. I wasn’t agreeing with you that her idea was a possibility.”

Laurent palmed his hand to his forehead, then looked at her again, grimacing. “Okay.
I’m sorry, I’m rushing you. But I think you get the picture. I’ve given it a lot of thought over the past few days and nights; the more I think about it, the more I know it’s a practical proposition that makes a great deal of sense. The kids need you, Emma.”

“I don’t know.”
She looked away.

There was a pregnant pause and the air felt hot and thick. Then Emma received an electric charge as Laurent’s hand tentatively reached out to cup her chin and turn her face back towards him. “I need you, too, Emma. You’re very beautiful, and I’ve found it hard to forget our kiss that night in the kitchen. His thumb caressed her cheek. “I keep on recalling how you felt in my arms.” He encircled her waist and gently pulled her to him.
“Like this.” He lowered his head and his lips touched hers, softly at first, brushing them with feathery kisses. Then his tongue probed between her lips and they parted, as she felt herself melting in his arms. But, in the split second that followed, she came to, realizing what she was allowing to happen. She pulled her mouth away from his. He raised his head and pushed himself away from her. Holding her at arms’ length, he looked at her searchingly, his expression puzzled.

“Emma, Emma, I want you.” His eyes narrowed and he ran a hand lightly down her arm. “And I thought you wanted me, too. What is it, baby?”

“I can’t do this,” she mumbled.

He stepped nearer her.
She shut her eyes, sensing the warmth of his body, smelling his familiar scent, wanting to fold herself into him and feel his strength around her. She shook her head violently, trying to rid herself of her traitorous thoughts.

Laurent inclined his head, trying to make eye contact with her. “Hey, sweetheart, what you are afraid of?”

She opened her eyes and looked directly at him, raising her chin slightly. “That you don’t love me.”

Laurent sighed, and his hand stroked her arm again.
“Is that so awful? There are many marriages founded on less than we have to give each other.” His finger rose to tenderly trace a line from her throat, halting on the soft skin above her breasts, exposed by the vee of her sweat top. She trembled and inhaled a ragged breath. Conflicting thoughts and needs pounded against each other in her head.

“Promise me that you’ll at least consider it?” he asked quietly.

She nodded almost robotically, unable to find words to articulate her warring thoughts. She wrapped her arms around herself.

He reached for his mug and took a mouthful.
“This is good. I’d marry you, Miss Peabody, just to have a pot of your fresh coffee every morning. Here, I think you need some caffeine.”

He offered her mug to her, and she saw his eyebrows were raised and his amber-whiskey eyes were doing their familiar creasing at the corners.
He got that he’d knocked her sideways with his solution and was trying to coax her with humor. She couldn’t help warming to him for that. She took a sip of her coffee and tried to calm herself.

“It’s not exactly the most romantic proposal I’ve ever had,” she said after a while.

Laurent’s hand went back to her shoulder and she felt his fingers stroke her clavicle bone. Silently, she felt her body reacting and wished that it wouldn’t.

“It’s a practical proposal, for sure, but it also cements a bond between friends…” Laurent stopped for a moment. “…And maybe more…” His thumbed pressed into the hollow at the base of her neck.

Emma swallowed, her nerve-endings on fire, as his hands trailed away from her body. “But it’s not for love.”

He shrugged.
“No.”

“Do you think it ever could be?”

“Emma, I’ll be honest. I’m not a great believer in love and romance anymore. Been there, done that, and buried it. Sorry if that sounds harsh,” he said, when he saw her little wince at his frankness. “But I do believe in respect and doing the best for my kids, and I’d be honored if you would care to join me in that.”

“Laurent, I’m really not sure.
I’ve always believed that marriages should be founded on love—”

“But you’ve already got a failed engagement behind you.
You’ve already seen that love’s not always what it’s cracked up to be…” His fingers slipped down her arm to take her hand. “Like I’ve already said, I can offer you friendship and respect. Those are things you can rely on from me.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything right now. But promise me that you will think it over?”

She loosened her hand from his grasp.
“I promise,” she replied dully.

“Thank you.”

When Emma had gathered up the coffee things and left the workshop, Laurent took up a hammer and absently began knocking a slightly raised nail into Evie’s Easter egg box. He felt like he’d been doused by a pail of freezing water.

It had been plain that she’d been blind-sided by his proposal. He still felt strongly that his solution might just be the best thing for them all.
But it was also beginning to dawn on him that he’d been so caught up with his plan, his need to have her, his concern for the kids’ welfare and his fear of losing her, that he hadn’t stopped to think through how she might react.

A sense of disquiet began to wash over him.
Had he succeeded in achieving what he had been aiming to avoid: driving away his kids’ wonderful nanny? And if she didn’t say yes, he wouldn’t be able to make love to her like he longed to. His stomach lurched as if he’d just digested a stone.

He raised his head from the bear’s egg box and addressed Bobo, who sat watching him with his chin resting on the arm of the battered chair.
“Hey, crazy dog, what the hell have I done?”

Emma stared out of her bedroom window.
She could see the distant silver-white peak of Copper Mountain highlighted by the full moon against an indigo-dark sky, and the spiky shapes of the dense pines and aspens on its still-snowy slopes.

To say that she’d been taken aback by Laurent’s marriage proposal was to put it mildly.
Her head still whirled with the impact of it, and the opposing thoughts that had crowded in since. She’d slept-walked through the rest of the day, doing her best to keep it together for the children. She’d eaten lunch and dinner with Laurent present and had managed to make polite conversation. She considered calling her younger sister in England, wanting a sympathetic ear, but it would be early morning there and Lara would be on her way to work. She was exhausted with the strain of it all, but also too tired and wired to sleep.

She tried to sort through her thoughts.
She felt vaguely angry with Laurent for upsetting the apple cart with this mad scheme of his, and then there was the anxiety that she’d somehow led him on to make the proposal. Had she let her feelings for him show somehow? Perhaps she had only herself to blame.

She held her head in her hands. Despite everything, she did want him so very much. Those two times he’d taken her in his arms and kissed her…It had never been like that with Tom. Oh, it was all so confusing!

Then there were the children. She could see the logic of Laurent’s plan as far as they were concerned. She adored the two mites and they were settled with her.

But how could she marry a man who didn’t love her? He’d said it himself: he was a lonely guy, but he wasn’t looking for emotional involvement, and he didn’t think he’d ever fall in love again.
It was obvious to her that his heart was still with Brooke.

With a heavy feeling in her chest, she acknowledged she had very strong feelings for Laurent, wanted him like she’d wanted no man before, but could she marry him?
Could she really tie herself to a man whose reasons for needing her didn’t match hers for needing him? And if it was her choice not to, and knowing how much she did want him, how could she then remain at Copper Creek? And if she had to depart, what about Evie and Jerome? It would tear her apart to leave them, and she worried that they would suffer greatly if there was any more loss and upheaval in their little lives.

Should she stay or should she go?
She was left between a rock and a hard place. She needed to call England, talk to Lara, get her sister’s take, before she made the decision, and that would mean waiting until tomorrow afternoon. Then, hopefully, she’d be able to have a conversation with Laurent.

By the evening of the following day, Emma knew what her answer would be.
She’d managed to speak to Lara, and it had really helped to have her sister’s ear and a sympathetic but objective point of view. It had crystallized her course of action.

As she went to talk to Laurent in his office-come-study after supper, she felt sad but calm.
If she’d known a few weeks ago what she was about to do, she wouldn’t have believed it. She wasn’t happy that she was doing it, but it was the best alternative.

“Hi,” she said softly, spying Laurent sitting in front of his laptop.

He swung round on his chair. “Hi.” His tone and expression betrayed no emotion, but she still registered how attractive he looked in a shirt and jeans.