The Unexpected Bride (Montana Born Brides) (14 page)

“Have you got a couple of minutes, Laurent?”

“Sure. Why don’t we sit on the couch?” He gestured to the sofa positioned on the opposite wall.

Emma went and sat down, and he joined her.
He seemed chilled but friendly. “So, have you thought things over?”

She smiled and nodded. “Yes. It hasn’t been an easy decision to make.
It’s really a no-win situation. Whatever I do, someone’s going to get hurt.”

Laurent tilted his head back against his hand and surveyed her with a frown.
His arm muscles bunched and strained against his shirt. For a moment, his gorgeousness flowed over her again and she felt like cracking. She bit her lip, steeling herself against an urge to cuddle up against him.
This
was why she had to do what she had to do!

“Get
hurt
? How do you figure that out?”

“I think there are three courses of action I can take, and they all have consequences.” Emma steadied her breathing and plowed on. “I can marry you.
I can decide not to marry you and stay working as the children’s nanny. Or I can decide not to marry you and leave. If I marry you, then I am hitching myself a man who may never love me and that is a gamble. I don’t know whether I can deal with that and be happy, and I’m not sure that’s a good situation for the children. If I say no to marriage and continue on as Evie and Jerome’s nanny, I foresee that the tension between you and me will get to be too much and that won’t be good for them either. And the third option is that I go, which will be incredibly sad for everyone. I know that I will find leaving the children and Copper Creek incredibly hard.”

Laurent held her gaze, but she could see the disappointment in his eyes.
“In other words, whatever you choose to do, my kids will suffer.”

She could hear an edge in his voice.
She put her hands together into her lap and twisted them nervously. “Things have changed, and we need to make the decision which ultimately affects them the least.”

“We?
I get the feeling that you’ve already made your mind about what you’re going to do.”

She raised her chin.
“I have decided, yes.”

“And?”

“I think it’s best that I go. It will be difficult for the children in the short term, but they’re young and flexible, and they’ll adapt to a good new nanny. I can contact the agency in LA to get the ball rolling as soon as possible, and stay on for a week or so once someone is hired, to do a handover.”

“You make it sound very simple.”

“It’s not simple, but on reflection, I feel it’s the least harmful option for Evie and Jerome.”

“And what about you?
How will you feel about leaving here and the kids?”

“Like I said, it’s going to be incredibly hard.
I’m going to miss everybody so much.”

“Where will you go?”

“My sister in England has offered to put me up until I can find a new family to work for.”

“A new family?”
Laurent’s tone was curt now. “I guess you’ll need a reference to move on with.” He raked a hand through his glossy dark hair in the way that she knew so well and leaned forward, his fingers steepled and his elbows on his knees. Her response was to unconsciously lean back. “What if I don’t care to give you one?” he said.

Emma inhaled.
She hadn’t anticipated that he’d react like this. There was an air of barely-restrained emotion about him, and she realized she was trembling slightly. “It will make life very difficult. And,” she continued with as much cool as she could muster, “I don’t feel it would be very fair. I’ve done a good job in the months I’ve been here. You’ve said so yourself.”

“Until you decided to leave my kids in the lurch,” he ground out.
“That’s hardly a commendable action.”

Something in Emma snapped.
He was being ridiculous! “Oh, come on, Laurent. It wasn’t my idea to get married!”

“I’m just trying to do the right thing for my kids, and I thought you had their welfare at heart too.”

“I do!” she cried, no longer able to keep a lid on her feelings. “But I will not be blackmailed into something that isn’t right for me, or for them!”

“Nobody’s blackmailing you, Emma,” he said quietly.
He straightened up and fixed her with his stare. “You’ve always given the impression that you care about my children very much and naturally I assumed you would want to join me in doing the best for them.” He stopped and leaned closer to her, taking her hand. “And am I wrong in thinking that you love living at Copper Creek? You seem to have fitted in here so well. ”

She let her hand rest in his and she shook her head.

He laced his fingers through hers. “How can I be blackmailing you when I let you know that I want you and you didn’t turn me away?”

She lowered her eyes as heat flushed her cheeks.
“But you don’t love me and you’ve said you never will,” she replied shakily.

Laurent pressed his palm against hers.
“Emma, I like you so very much and I have huge respect for you. Know that it’s not you. When Brooke died like that…” His voice shook. “…She took my heart with her. She was my life, and then she was snatched away in a moment.”

Emma looked back up at him, her taut expression softening. “What happened exactly? I’ve never understood fully.”
She felt his fingers tighten and grip.

“I guess you need to know,” he said tonelessly. “Brooke was seven months pregnant with Jerome, when she started bleeding. She was admitted to Marietta Regional Hospital where they discovered she had a small placental tear.
That was serious but they could have dealt with it. However, she’d been complaining of a headache all day, and while they were monitoring her, she developed numbness in her toes which spread to her head and neck.” He stopped and bowed his head, and Emma could see the mist in his eyes. She silently moved his hand into both of hers as she felt a lump rise in her throat.

“She started to struggle to swallow,” Laurent went on, his voice thick with grief.
“The doctor had just ordered a CT scan. She couldn’t breathe. She was having a stroke. She was rushed into the operating room. She died on the table, but Jerome was delivered by emergency C-section and survived.”

“Oh, Laurent,” Emma breathed.
“How old was she?”

“Twenty-eight.
A post-mortem established that a clot had broken off from somewhere and blocked the main blood vessel to her brain. It was ironic, really. She was a health food and exercise nut.” He smiled bitterly. “But, apparently, seven hundred women die every year in the U.S. from pregnancy-related complications. It was just one of those things.”

“Childbirth isn’t always as easy and natural as people like to think,” Emma agreed.
She released her hand to wipe away the tears that had spilled onto her face. “I am so, so sorry, Laurent. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“No. But it did.
And here I am.” He looked at her and his gaze narrowed. “And here you are.” He sighed. “Do you understand why it’s me and not you…why I can’t offer love?”

“Yes, I think so,” she replied dully.
Her heart lay heavy in her chest. “I’m so very sorry. I think I understand now why you feel as you do. After what happened with Tom and Sir Giles, I was certain for a while that I would never be able to be involved with a man again.” She stopped and took in a steadying gulp of air, then continued, wondering where the words were spilling from. “But you know, it’s true what they say: time is a great healer. Just being here at Copper Creek has restored my faith and my self-confidence. Spending time with Evie and Jerome and helping them adjust, getting to know Linda and other folk in Marietta…and spending time with you… It has been very healing. And Montana is so big and beautiful—“

“Having you at Copper Creek has made a real difference to me, too,” Laurent admitted quietly.

“It has?” Emma experienced a jerk of surprise that he should feel that.

“Yup.
I didn’t realize how much I missed having another adult around the place. And you’ve stopped me from becoming a person who I didn’t want to be. You’re a breath of fresh air, Emma. It’s been just amazing watching you with the kids. You’ve filled a gap with them that I thought would always be wide open.”

Emma was startled by the sudden flare of passion with which he said these words.
“Thanks,” she accepted modestly. “I came hoping to make a difference, and Evie and Jerome are lovely children; they’ve been a pleasure to look after.”

Laurent raised an eyebrow.
“You know; you’ve been like a mother to them. It’s going to be almost impossible to find another you.” His eyes crinkled. “Emma…can you really leave them behind? They need you. You have my word I’ll be a good husband. You’ll want for nothing, and we can think about having brothers and sisters for Evie and Jerome. You’d be so great with a big family.” Laurent watched her for long seconds, then put his hand to her cheek and brushed away the strands of blond hair that were still sticking to its moistness.

Emma shook her head in frustration, then stood up and walked across the room.
She halted and folded her arms across her chest. “Laurent, don’t. I can’t marry you if you can never love me. You may think you will be able to give me everything. But you can’t.” She inhaled and said firmly, “It’s love that I need.”

Laurent sighed and bowed his head in a defeated movement.
Then he stood up and said purposefully, “Okay…I hear what you say. I hope it works out for you, Emma. Sir Giles and Tom…well, you were just unlucky. There are many decent men out there, and one day you’ll find one who’ll love you in the way you deserved to be loved. You just need to be free to find him.”

Emma unfolded her arms and wiped her face with her sleeve, while she regarded him and took in his words.

“You’d tell Jerome off for doing that,” Laurent said.

“Doing what?”

“Wiping your nose on your sleeve.”

Her hands dropped to her side.
“So, you’re all right about letting me go?”

“I’m not all right about it, but I accept it.
You want more than I can give you. Look, as soon as you’ve decided when you want to leave. I’ll get onto Wilton’s in Los Angeles to arrange a new carer. And we should sit down and discuss how we’re going to tell the kids. I’d like to give them Easter first, if you don’t mind.”

“Yes, of course.” Emma
recognised the familiar shuttered expression that he now wore. He was shutting down on her. She felt a wave of regret roll over her. But it was no good; there was no way back now. She’d thought she might feel as if a burden had lifted once she’d given Laurent her decision, but actually and strangely she felt as trapped as she had been before.

Easter Sunday dawned sunny and crisp: a perfect spring day, and just right for making the pilgrimage to the bottom of the mountain to leave the egg in its box for the bear.
Later on, in the afternoon, Laurent was taking the children over to their grandparents’ hobby ranch for an Easter egg hunt, which Pascale had been planning with Emma. A variety of chocolate eggs and small gifts had been placed around the house and the back yard for Evie and Jerome to find. They could hardly wait.

Emma got the kids ready for the trek, while Bobo trotted around them, his ears pricked as he sensed that he would soon be going for a walk.
Laurent came to join them, wearing his battered sheepskin jacket and a day’s worth of stubble on his chin. Emma’s stomach did a somersault when she caught sight of him, so she ducked down and busied herself helping Jerome on with his boots. The agency would be sending them some resumes of potential new nannies early next week; the process of leaving and letting go was about to start rolling.

“Dada, we going to da bear’s house,” Jerome told his father happily.

“Hey, we sure are,” Laurent replied, scooping up his son and jiggling him up and down, making the little boy giggle with delight. “The bear’s gonna get his egg.”

“The bear’s gonna get his egg!” Evie shrieked, “The bear’s gonna get his egg!”

Emma straightened up and reached for Evie’s hand. “Come on, young lady. You need to get your jacket on.” She smiled at Jerome still gurgling in his father’s arms. At least she could leave here knowing that Laurent had finally bonded with his son. That lifted her mood a little.