The Ups and Downs of Being Dead (29 page)

They tumbled onto the bed in a tight embrace, their lips
biting and tugging at each other. His hands fondled, her hands urged.

Robert glanced over at Suzanne. She was mesmerized by the
groping.

“I’m—” He couldn’t think of how to explain, so he merely
pointed to the man and popped inside. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught
Suzanne joining the woman.

Robert struggled to stay quiet, but when the man climaxed,
Robert roared with the release. He was drowned out by the man’s own groan, and
the woman’s robust cry.

He savored the aftershocks for a moment before rolling away
from the man. He ended up right next to Suzanne.

“Dear God,” she gasped, her chest heaving from the exertion.
“Tell me again why your wife didn’t like having sex?”

The June meeting of the Cryonics members was held at the
Omni Royal in Montreal. The moment Suzanne saw Maggie she went rushing like a
new bride to her mother. Robert hoped he got high marks as the new groom.

He knew he had an idiotic smile on his face as he strolled
across the room, but he couldn’t help it. He’d just spent the last five months
on a non-stop high with Suzanne.

She was babbling about the psycho mechanic and Maggie showed
more than a little skepticism in her gnarled eyebrows.

“It’s true,” Robert said.

“Oh, how I wish I’d been there,” Maggie said.

“You know, that’s the first thing I thought when that guy
attacked me. I wished it had been you butting into his business.”

“Then Robert and I kind of…” Suzanne waggled her head. “…bonded.”

“You two bonded,” Maggie repeated.

“Yep.” Robert thrust his chest out like the proud macho
primate he was. “And everything changed.”

Now Maggie really doubted their story. But Suzanne insisted
it was all true.

“We’ve drunk ouzo and eaten flaming cheese in Greece,” she
said.

“We ate enough pastries in Paris to put anyone in a diabetic
coma,” Robert told Maggie.

“We went skiing in the Alps—”

“Rode the Orient Express for two days with a couple that
never once looked out their bedroom window,” Suzanne giggled.

“You’re having sex?” Maggie screeched. The people standing
nearby suddenly went silence.

“Well, so much for discretion,” Robert snipped, his eyes
bugging at Maggie.

“Are these people aware you’re in their head?” she asked.

“Some folks figure it out sooner than others. The first time
I tried it,” Robert said, “the guy got so disoriented he dumped me out right
away.”

“I can imagine it’s very disconcerting.”

Suzanne assured Maggie that they didn’t stay long, and they
chose different partners often.

“You know, this information could have astounding
repercussions,” Maggie said. “How many times has someone decided at the last
minute to turn right instead of left. Or changed their opinion on a subject
they felt strongly about? Was that their own doing, or were they influenced by
a second ‘occupant’?”

“Good question,” Robert said.

“And what about schizophrenics who have been locked up for
years, claiming they hear voices, someone telling them what to do. For all we
know, they’re simply plagued with a squatter, a ghost who has moved in and
won’t get out.”

“We aren’t driving anyone crazy,” Robert insisted. “If
anything, we’re enhancing their experiences.”

Suzanne agreed. “Some of the people we’ve hooked up with
clearly expressed that they’d had the best sex of their lives. Sort of two
orgasms in one.”

“Suzanne!” Robert feigned shock. “Not in front of mother!”

A temp named Janice rushed into the executive lounge, nearly
bumping into Maggie.

“Have you seen Stuart?” she asked, sounding breathless.

“Last time I saw him, he was talking to Asa over by the
bar,” Maggie said. She stuck out a hand to keep Janice from stepping away. “Is
something wrong?”

“Is there ever,” Janice said. “We got a new patient two days
ago. The center wasn’t even sure they should take him because he’s only twenty,
and the rule was no one under twenty-one. But the parents were so distraught,
and they paid extra, so we took the kid. But it’s a real problem.”

Spotting Stuart, Janice hustled over to him. Robert watched
as she pulled Stuart aside, jabbering non-stop, and constantly glancing back
toward the door.

When Ned Thompson walked through the door, she froze.
Standing next to Ned was the twenty-year-old kid. And he didn’t look happy.

His hair was an unnatural black and his bangs hung over one eye.
He had the prerequisite tattoos that all young people seemed to have, but his
earlobes appeared to be oversized. Robert studied them with an eye half-closed.
Instead of the usual spikes in the boy’s ears, he had big rings the size of
quarters jammed in there, stretching the skin way out of proportion.

“Are you kidding me?” the kid screeched as he surveyed the
crowd.

Other temps who were unaware of the situation, stopped
talking to see what the commotion was about.

“This is like some old farts’ convention,” the kid yelled at
Ned. “Why would I want to hang around with a bunch of rotting geezers?”

Chagrined, Ned tried to pull the kid aside to calm him down.
Stuart hustled over, extending his hand to the kid. He refused the offer.

“Jesus Christ,” the kid said, “you’re even older than him!”
He hitched a thumb at Ned.

“You better duck out of sight,” Robert told Maggie. “You’re
bound to put the kid right over the edge.”

“Very funny, Robert,” she huffed before she tottered over to
the kid.

“Holy shit!” the kid yelled when he saw her. “I’m outta
here.”

He turned and stormed out the door, with Maggie trotting
along behind.

* * *

Stuart Greyson stood at a podium that welcomed a publishing
company from Nova Scotia.

“Let’s all take our seats, please,” he said. “I thought I’d
wait until we were all gathered to explain the excitement at the executive
lounge. It seems the Cryonics Center has reached another milestone. We’ve
gotten our first young recruit, Brian Campbell. As you saw back at the airport,
the young man is a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but we hope he’ll mellow out
with time.”

The temps gathered in the banquet room murmured amongst
themselves.

“According to Ned,” Stuart said. “Brian committed suicide
three days ago. His parents were so distraught that they pleaded with the
Cryonics Center to take him, even though, theoretically, he is under age. They
had been trying to get treatment for their son’s depression, but were unable to
prevent him from taking his own life.

“Their hope now is that in the future, Brian will receive
proper treatment and go on to live a normal, healthy life. And I couldn’t agree
more. That boy is no different from us dying of cancer, or diabetes, or old
age. Technology holds the key to his ailment as much as it does ours.”

Maggie slipped into the empty seat Suzanne was saving at
their table. She gave Stuart a thumbs-up.

“Ah, good. I see Maggie’s got things straightened out,”
Stuart said. “Is Brian going to join us here?”

She gave her head a small shake, like it was no big deal.

“Okay, well then, let’s move along to other business.”

He turned the meeting over to Eddie, the space guy, who had
information on some submarine that designers wanted to test in the Marianas
Trench east of Guam.

Robert leaned around Suzanne. “So, you actually got that
punk straightened out?”

“Heck no,” Maggie said. “He’s pissed. At his parents. At us.
I doubt we’ll see him again for a while.”

“Then what was with the thumbs-up?”

“Oh, I didn’t want Stuart to feel bad. He loves these
meetings.”

Suzanne pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. “Why
is Brian angry at his parents? He should be glad they’ve given him a second
chance.”

“I’m afraid he doesn’t see it like that,” Maggie said. “He
sees it as just another example of them interfering in his life. He wanted to
die, and they wouldn’t allow it. That’s pretty radical if you think about it.”

“And he’s taking it out on us,” Robert said.

“You were quite irritated when you found out you were stuck
for the next seventy-five years or so with nothing to do,” she reminded him.
“Think about how long that must seem to a mere child of twenty.”

Once Madeline Wingate completed her celebrity deathwatch
update, Sam trotted up to the podium to give his science report.

His spiel this time was on the development of a molecular matter
printer to create the blueprints for a body that nano-robots would build. An
eerie ‘wooo’ was provided by someone in the back.

After the meeting, a lot of the temps moved over to the
hotel bar and commandeered an empty table at one end of the room. Bernie was
regaling friends with his imitation of a constipated pope. Sam had another
contingency of temps cornered, expounding on the blood-brain barrier.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you earlier,” Maggie told
Robert. “But Robbie was arrested about a month ago. A drug bust at some
apartment. He was immediately remanded into custody since he’d skipped out on
his bond. He’s in the Fulton County jail now, awaiting his trial.”

“Great,” Robert said. “I suppose Suzanne will make me go see
him while we’re visiting Rachel.”

“Have you seen Angie?”

“No, but she’s on the list, too. Suzanne and I want to check
out Hawaii, but we figured we’d get all the family stuff out of the way before
we go.”

“Are you leaving right after the meeting?”

“Heck, no,” Robert said. “I’m a changed man. I can sit
through opera now. I’ve gone the wrong way on a train for five hours and had to
turn around and go back. I believe Suzanne has plans to investigate the sewer
system of the entire city here.”

Maggie chuckled. “I forgot. You’re getting sex regularly.
That always has a profound affect on a man’s tolerance level.”

Robert reared his head back in shock. “That has absolutely
nothing to do with it.”

Nevertheless, Robert tagged along with Suzanne and Maggie
and a bunch of other temps who took the Grayline tour of Montreal; eight hours
of trudging through the Bell Centre where the Canadians played hockey, a visit
to the Museum of Fine Arts, and the Olympic Stadium with its funky inclined
tower. He even took a side trip to the Notre Dame Basilica with Suzanne and
Maggie.

His only stipulation was that he and Suzanne would dine
alone, and then spend the evening together. Maggie gave him a leering wink, the
old bat.

They were just coming back into the hotel when Maggie
skidded to a halt.

“Oh, my God,” she gasped. “It’s Joe. My husband.”

She scurried toward an old man who seemed a bit lost and
disoriented. He spotted her, but didn’t seem nearly as eager to meet up. His
stooped shoulders drooped even lower, and his bandied legs almost refused to
hold him.

Realization sank in, and Maggie pressed her fingers to her
lips.

“You died,” she said softly.

He gave her a sheepish nod, as though he hadn’t meant to.

She reached out a hand. “I hope you didn’t suffer much.”

The shrug he gave her was non-committal.

“I was at the retirement center at Christmas,” she said, a
quizzical look on her face. “You looked happy. And healthy.”

“I was,” Joe said.

After quickly introducing Robert and Suzanne, Maggie threw
her hands up.

“I can’t believe it,” she said. “You just missed the
meeting. They could have introduced you.”

The expression on Joe’s face steadily deteriorated as Maggie
babbled on about how he would have to wait for the December meeting but by then
he’d be old news.

“How did you find us?” she asked.

“The new greeters at the center thought you might still be
here.” He looked uneasily at Robert and Suzanne. Then lacing his fingers
together, Joe concentrated on his hands. “There was an incident. Over Memorial
Day.”

Maggie’s head tilted to the side in confusion.

“Jason and Lucy picked me up,” Joe went on. “To spend a week
with them in Sebring.”

Maggie filled in the blanks for Robert and Suzanne. “Jason
is our son. They live on a lake in Sebring, Florida.”

“Anyway,” Joe went on. “Travis and Heath were both home for
the summer.”

“Those are our two grandsons,” Maggie said.

“It’s always so loud, their friends shouting and the music
playing.” He turned to Robert, the eyelids of his rheumy eyes sagging. “I can’t
hear the television over all the noise.”

Robert nodded.

“I decided to take Jason’s pontoon boat out.”

“Oh, good,” Maggie said. “Did you and Jason take your
fishing poles?”

“Jason was at work, Maggie,” Joe said. Her eyebrows
twittered.

“Who went with you?”

Joe lowered his head and shook it.

“Joe?”

Without looking up, he continued. “It was just going to be a
short ride around the lake. Maybe back into Cutter’s Cove. I forgot what Jason
said about the hydrilla being so overgrown along the shoreline. I guess I got
too close.”

Joe looked to Robert for support again. “That stuff grows
underwater, you know. You can’t even see it until it’s too late sometimes.”

Robert gave him another encouraging nod.

“The darn weeds got all wrapped around the propeller. Killed
the motor. I waited, hoping another boater would come by.” Joe’s voice waned.
“But it was Tuesday.”

Maggie’s anger was building. “And I’ll bet you didn’t have
your cellphone.”

“No! I did!” Joe insisted. “I tried to call the house, but
the boys didn’t answer.”

Maggie harrumphed, and Joe went on.

“I found a piece of an old cane pole. Thought if I could get
the motor tipped up, I could scrape the weeds off the propeller.”