The Valentine's Arrangement (16 page)

Ronnie closed her eyes as she sucked air into her lungs and blew it out throusgh her nose. When she opened her eyes, she turned them to Brandon. “I love you Brandon.” The words were stuck in her throat but she had to get them out. “You came into my life when I needed someone most, when I needed rescuing. And you rescude me, I needed you and you were there. But I don’t need you anymore.” She was surprised at how calm her voice was, especially since she was screaming inside, the anger and the pain—it was all boiling over inside her.

“You don’t need me anymore? Well that’s pretty fucking convenient, Ron. So what, it’s over?” Brandon was a short fuse and his temper was starting to flare. Ronnie knew it wouldn’t be long before hers joined in. They were both bombs ready to detonate and they each held the trigger for the other. It had always been that way.

“Yes, it’s over.” Her voice was on the verge of shouting as her patience was wearing thin. “It’s been over for months now.”

Brandon made a noise that sounded like a growl as he shook his head at her.

“How many times, Brandon?”

“What?” he asked blinking at her, and she could tell in that moment that he was shuffling through his mind for something to say, and that something was going to be a lie.

“I’m not stupid. How many other times have you cheated on me? Don’t even fucking think about lying to me because it won’t work.”

Brandon looked at her and she could tell he was weighing his options, trying to decide which fate would be the better one; which way out would be the easiest.

“I want the truth. You know I deserve it.”

“Just one other woman,” he said quickly.

Ronnie pressed her lips tightly together and nodded her head. “One other time or one other woman?”

He didn’t answer and he didn’t need to. The look in his eyes said it all. “You need to leave,” she said, standing up and walking toward the door. He stood up but he didn’t make a move to follow her.

“I’m not leaving, Ron.”

“Brandon, do you think you would have cheated on me if you truly loved me? Do you think you would have needed another woman if I was it for you? Stop pretending. We fell in love young, we became each other’s safety net and we let ourselves stay there. You don’t love me the way you should.” She was screaming at him and it felt good. It felt good to let out all the hurt and betrayal that has taken up the space of her heart.

“You’re wrong, Ron,” he said softly. “I have loved you since I met you. I do love you.”

“I know.” The calm started to return in her chest but it brought with it a batch of fresh heartbreak. “I know you love me, but not enough. Not the right way.”

Ronnie felt the bastard tears reforming as the back of her throat started to burn with the need to let those tears fall free. Her chest constricted and she couldn’t hold them back any longer. Just as they spilled over her bottom lashes, the doorbell rang. Could this day get any fucking worse?

Apparently so. The Gods seemed to have opened up the skies and a shit storm came pouring down on Ronnie drenching her from head to toe, because standing on the other side of the door was Kale.

Ronnie’s eyes dropped to the ground when she saw the look that crossed over his face when she answered the door. “Now’s not a good time, Kale.” She didn’t want him to see her crying too.

He stepped into her and lifted her chin with his fingers. “What’s wrong?” His voice was urgent and determined as he searched her face for the slightest inkling of a reason for her tears.

Ronnie felt Bandon come up behind her, so close that his chest brushed across her back. “Who are you?” Brandon asked as he eyed Kale, and Ronnie knew things were about to get heated. Brandon was protective, and she got the impression that Kale was too.

“I’m Sergeant First Class Emerson. Who are you?” Kale stepped even closer to Ronnie but she softly pushed against him so he would move back. He looked down at her but his face didn’t give anything away.

“Sergeant Brandon…”

“You’re Brandon?” Kale interrupted, not needing to hear his last name, knowing exactly who Brandon was. “You have got to be kidding me. Ronnie?” He tore his eyes from Brandon who was still hovering behind Ronnie and moved them to her.

A fresh stream of tears streaked down her cheeks. It seemed as though she had opened the fucking floodgate and they wouldn’t stop coming. Kale gently grabbed a hold of her arms, looking her hard in the eyes. “Ronnie, are you okay?” He said the words slowly like he was letting each one sink in before moving on to the next.

Ronnie jerked out of his hold and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. I needed to see you before I left.”

“Ronnie, who the fuck is this guy?” Brandon asked, stepping up next to her, his shoulder pressing against hers.

“Brandon,” Ronnie warned, sending him a glare from hell as she stepped away from him.

“Can we talk?” Kale asked, bringing her attention back to him.

“Ronnie you better start fucking talking, who is this guy?” Brandon’s teeth were grinding together, his body unmoving next to Ronnie as he stared at Kale.

Kale moved to the side so he was now chest to chest with Brandon. Kale was bigger than Brandon, but they stood nose to nose at the exact same height. “Look man, you may have talked to her like that in the past but you will not talk to her like that again, do you hear me?” Kale’s voice was calm but the threat laced in his words was perfectly clear.

Ronnie had reached her limit for the day. It was time for a drink and a bath followed by her bed. “Both of you out.”

“What?” They both said at the same time.

“Brandon, get out. We are done. We have been done for months now and you know it. Leave. I don’t care where you go but you are not staying here. We can talk later about selling the house.”

“Ronnie, I’m not—”

“Brandon, please?” Ronnie begged, because she knew that deep down Brandon couldn’t deny her something she wanted. He never could, it was his weakness.

Brandon looked at her and nodded. He picked up his duffle bag that was sitting in the hall and headed toward the garage. She was surprised at how easily he walked away, that wasn’t like him at all, but she wasn’t going to question it.

She turned to Kale, her eyes going softer when she looked at him. “Just leave,” she whispered.

“I don’t—” Kale started but stopped when she looked up at him.

“Go,” she said again, her voice slightly stronger than the last time. The tears started spilling again and she wanted to fucking slap herself for being such a whinny little girl. “This is exactly what I didn’t want, Kale. I didn’t want some man hovering over me like a fucking guard dog. I didn’t want you to be here. I didn’t want the line to get blurry, and I sure as hell didn’t want you to cross it. Our arrangement is over, just go.”

He looked at her, unblinking as he inhaled a deep breath and released it slowly. “Alright, Sweetheart, I’ll go.” He pulled her in his arms before she realized what he was doing. His strong arms felt good as he held her against him, and she let him. Why are the things that feel so right, so completely wrong?

He kissed her forehead. “Bye,” he whispered against her skin, and the longing in his voice made the ache in her chest throb.

She stepped back and shut the door sagging against it, and then everything washed out of her like a colossal tsunami.

Chapter 12

Small flakes of snow were drifting from the sky adding a light dusting to the already white ground. It was early, just after eight in the morning and Kale’s flight was scheduled to leave in ten minutes. In ten minutes, he would be back on a plane, the first of several, until he reached his destination—back to his platoon, back to his mission. It’s what has always mattered, what has always been his top priority, but it wasn’t anymore.

Kale was sitting down waiting to board the plane staring mindlessly at his iPad, thinking about everything in the last 36 hours that went wrong. And now it was too late for him to fix it. The one woman that has ever made him want more didn’t want a thing to do with love, or a soldier.

An older woman sat down across from him and pulled what he assumed was her grandson up onto her lap. The kid must have been six or so and he was staring at Kale like he was a giant GI Joe.

“Hey little buddy,” Kale said, finally acknowledging the little guy.

“Are you gonna die?” The little towhead asked like he was asking Kale what his favorite color was.

“Rylan. You can’t just say things like that,” the woman admonished, looking absolutely mortified.

Kale smiled. Leave it to a kid to ask the toughest question in the easiest way possible. “Na, I’m not gonna die.”

“My friend at school told me that soldiers always die,” the kid said. His face was easy, his eyes curious and hopeful.

Kale swallowed hard, his throat choking on the words as they left his mouth. “Well, that’s not true. Soldiers don’t always die.”

“So you’re not gonna die?” he asked again, talking about death with a smile on his face.

“Na, I’m kind of indestructible. You like superheroes?”

The little boy nodded and his grandmother smiled apologetically at Kale. “Well, I’m sort of like Captain America.” This time Kale smiled and he couldn’t help let his laugh slip through when the kid threw his arms across his chest and gave him a challenging look of disbelief.

“Then where’s your shield?”

“He doesn’t need a shield kid, but he’s Captain America. I promise,” a sweet voice said from behind Kale making his body stand on edge.

When Kale stood up and turned around, he was shocked to see Ronnie standing there. God, she was beautiful.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He walked around the chair and stood in front of her giving them a little privacy from the rest of the people waiting.

She smiled and it made Kale want to take her right there, just so he could feel her, just so he could taste her one last time.

She shook her head at him. “Hey, Soldier. You think you would have learned after I told you the first time. You really need to stop mind fucking me.”

Kale laughed. “Sorry baby, no can do. The image is permanently burned into my mind and I plan on using it to help me get through some lonely nights,” he said teasingly. He let his eyes drop to her mouth, to those cherry red lips, and everything left him except for the need to kiss her.

He forced himself to meet her eyes again because looking at lips he so desperately needed to kiss was torture. “What are you doing here, Ronnie?”

“I couldn’t let you leave without telling you goodbye. We didn’t really end on a good note yesterday and I would have hated myself if I let you go without saying bye.”

“You could have called me instead of driving the hour and a half to Syracuse just to tell me bye. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Sweetheart, I’m really glad you did but you didn’t need to drive out here with all this snow on the ground and—”

“Kale,” she said softly.

He stopped and looked at her. They held each other’s eyes, neither one saying anything to the other, neither one needing to at that moment—it was all there encrypted in the flecks that dotted their eyes. He saw regret in hers, mirroring back the feeling that was eating a hole in his stomach. The only difference was, he wasn’t sure her regret matched his own—the regret of not having more, more time, more…her. Her eyes lowered, breaking the trance that Kale was under. He watched her chest rise slowly then drop heavily as a dubious sigh laced with debilitation left her lungs. When she lifted her gaze back to him, a magnetic force took over his limbs and he reached out, pulled her into his arms, and held her—and she let him. She melted against him and it felt so right that it hurt. It hurt because he was going to have to let her go. Even if by some miracle she wanted him, he was leaving—he had to leave.

But first, he needed to make her understand.

“Hey, about the other night,” he said with his face buried into her long hair.

She didn’t move, she just continued to let him hold her. “Kale, I said it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.” He pulled back from her so he could look her in the eyes. “Meagan is an old friend. I was with her in the past but it was before I deployed, it was before I met you. She is just a friend, nothing more. Ronnie, it was just a meal. Believe me I wanted it to be you; I still want it to be you.”

She didn’t say anything she just held his eyes stolidly so he continued. “I just couldn’t let you think that I was out with another woman—that I was going to sleep with another woman. I don’t care about our arrangement. I don’t care if it was just sex, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

She nodded and Kale’s body relaxed. “You don’t owe me an explanation,” she said carefully, her voice cracking slightly.

Kale shook his head and sighed. She still didn’t get it. “Our arrangement was the best thing that happened to me,” he said, gently curling his fingers around her chin. He needed to see her eyes.

Her brows lifted and she smirked. “Oh really?”

Kale laughed. “Of course because the sex was amazing,” he said, knowing exactly what she was implying. “But also because I got to have you.” He pushed aside the hair that was draped across her shoulder and it tumbled down her back. He softly ran his knuckles down the side of her neck, splaying his fingers out at the base of her throat, feeling her erotic pulse patter against the thin, delicate, flesh above her collar. “I want more. I want all of you, Ronnie. Not just the sex.”

“Kale—” she started, but he wouldn’t let her finish. He needed her to know how he felt.

“Quit being so stubborn and listen to me,” he said sternly, but he couldn’t help his lips twitching when the whites of her eyes almost completely disappeared through the slit in her lids

“You’re exasperating, Sweetheart. I—” his words were cut off by the flight attendant’s voice carrying over the intercom. He looked back and saw people starting to board the plane. This was it. He was leaving.

Without saying another word, he turned back to her and kissed her. He pulled her in his arms, slid a strong hand through her hair, held her tightly to him, and kissed her. It was desperate and it was sexy and it was the single best moment he has had with this woman. His lips caressed hers, her tongue slowly tangling with his. He poured everything he has ever felt for her into that kiss and she gave it right back to him, dripping every ounce of her into him. Her hands wrapped around his waist as she clung to him, and he tasted her tears as they silently dripped down her cheeks and onto their joined lips.