The Valkyrie (28 page)

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Authors: Charlotte Vassell

Tags: #myth, #satire, #contemporary, #womens

BOOK: The Valkyrie
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“Fuck.” Liberty
said. She could see Glory begin to panic. She had never seen Glory
panic before and it was an unnerving sight.

“Ok we need to
act like nothing’s wrong and go through the motions tomorrow. We’ll
get through this. Can you predict anything?” Glory asked. She had
come round a little bit more to the idea of marrying Ares and had
thought perhaps they would be happy together.

“All I’ve been
able to see is you asleep for the last few days.”

“They were
using me to get Apollo to get rid of Ares. How brutal. I don’t
think we can trust Athena.”

“There’s one
other thing that I still can’t fathom.” Liberty said.

Glory pulled
out the pamphlet that Jeanette had given her. “Who the fuck is
Jesus?”

“Exactly, who
is this god.” Liberty said.

“Oh shit, I’ve
got to go ring Astrid and make sure that they’ve picked up the
slack on KW2. Shanghai got bombed today.” Glory said putting her
head in her hands. She really disliked Astrid, it was the cherry on
the top.

The Wedding

Liberty woke up at 5am, she went
and woke the others up before she got in the shower. After blow
drying her hair Liberty put a pair of jogging bottoms and a baggy
top on and went into Glory’s room so that Glory could fix her
chignon. By 6am all the nymphs and demi-gods that Hera had decided
were to be her bridesmaids had started to arrive. Honour had a
ticket system going that operated like a night club cloakroom: she
took your name, found your dress and sent you upstairs to change.
There was no faffing involved and once you’d changed you had to go
sit in the garden on benches that she’d magicked up. She’d taken
their TV outside and hooked it up to the DVD player through an
elaborate network of extension leads so that everyone could watch
romcoms out there once they were ready. Bea was then in charge of
making sure that everyone had flowers in their hair and the right
bouquets to carry. The kitchen looked like Columbia Road on a
Sunday. Asia turned up at 7am resplendent in her mother of the
bride outfit. She was there to do Liberty’s make up.

***

Once Glory had
fixed Liberty’s hair she went and drew a bath. Her mind was
whirring with strategies to get around Team Bea and Apollo – who
she wasn’t sure she wanted to get around, even if rationally that
was a bad idea – but as of yet nothing was sticking. Maybe she
should just throw her hat into the ring too? Once she’d got out of
the bath she went back to her room and dried her hair, then she
arranged it into a messy bun. Glory checked her phone and she’d had
four missed calls from Apollo and twenty seven from Hera. She rang
Hera first as she thought she’d be the least difficult to deal
with.

“Hi Hera. No
I’ve not heard anything from Ares yet. I’ll ring you straight after
if I hear from him. I’m sure he’ll turn up soon. Yes everything is
under control here. The cars will be turning up in an hour or so.
Ok, bye.” Glory said hanging up. Poor Hera was clinging to the idea
that Ares was still drunk somewhere. Glory didn’t want to ring
Apollo but she knew that if she didn’t he’d turn up at the
house.

“Hello, I’ve
got a missed call from you.” Glory said.

“I just wanted
to hear your voice.” Apollo said.

“Are you
alright?”

“Yes, I’m
fine.” there was a long pause before he added “I love you.”

“I love you
too.” Glory didn’t know whether she meant it. Apollo hung up. That
was all he needed to hear.

Glory went
downstairs to get her dress from Honour. There was a sizable queue
that went out of the front door, down the garden path and onto the
street. Eventually she got hers and went back upstairs to change
and put her make up on. She should have just fast tracked her dress
last night. Glory then went back downstairs to relieve Honour of
her duties so she could get ready herself. Prometheus turned up
half an hour later with the first of the wedding cars. Honour was
back by then and had started shepherding the ready bridesmaids from
the garden and into the cars to head to Olympus. This wedding was
turning out to be nearly as complicated as The Second Korean War,
or The Third World War as the mortals had started calling it.
Eventually all of the bridesmaids, including Bea and Honour, had
been sent off to Olympus and it was just Glory left with Liberty
and her parents. They got in the last car together.

“Well you do
look lovely dear.” Asia said to Liberty.

“Thanks mum.”
Liberty said.

“It’s nice
weather for a wedding.” Glory said.

“Yes it’s
fairly sunny.” Prometheus said.

The car dropped
them outside the temple where Apollo and Liberty were getting
married. Asia went in first and sat down at the front followed
shortly after by Glory, who as Maid of Honour went and stood next
to Hermes as best man. Amongst the mortals of Britain there was a
tradition that the best man gets to sleep with the chief bridesmaid
but Apollo was as sure as Hell not going to let that happen. There
were a few mutters when Glory had entered the room, she scrubbed up
well. Prometheus and Liberty followed them up the aisle a minute
later and the ceremony led by Hymen, the god of marriage, moved
onwards. Vows were taken. Rings were exchanged. Apollo and Liberty
were married.

Everyone made
their way to the reception. Glory was escorted out by Hermes. She
leaned in and said in a quiet voice “Has Ares turned up yet?”

Hermes looked
at her blankly and simply said “No.”

Glory
straightened herself out. The pair shared a glance that said that
they were both on the same page. They both knew he was dead but
they weren’t going to say it out loud as they both knew who had
done it. Perhaps Hermes was going to be her perfect ally.

“You look
lovely today. The flowers in your hair are beautiful.” Hermes said
as they sat down, adding quietly “Aphrodite is after you, watch
out.”

“Yes blue is
rather my colour.” Glory said acknowledging his warning with a
nod.

Toasts to the
happy couple were made and there were speeches by Apollo, Hermes,
Zeus and Prometheus followed by more wine. The guests all made
happy chatter about how lovely the ceremony had been, how lovely
the bride looked and how lovely the bridesmaids’ dresses had
been.

Glory spotted
Aphrodite at a table at the back. She was ignoring all the other
guests around her to stare at Glory. Glory could also see and hear
Hera pacing outside the window leaving Ares yet another voicemail
message telling him that she was very disappointed in him for not
turning up and that she was even more disappointed that Glory, who
looked so delightful today, didn’t have a ring on her finger yet.
Glory noticed Eros in a corner chain smoking and looking
restless.

Apollo kept
trying to look happy for the crowds but all he wanted to do was
watch Glory and make sure that she was fine. It displeased him that
she was with Hermes and that the pair of them kept leaning in and
talking in hushed voices. He once caught Athena’s eye who nodded at
him. She approved of his performance today. Apollo occasionally
glanced at his father Zeus who had no idea that anything untoward
was going on at all. Metis had finally deserted him. Bea, or more
accurately, Gravity watched everyone.

The dancing
began and after the first dance Glory and Hermes took to the floor
for a waltz.

“He’s
definitely dead?” Glory asked.

“I can’t find
him anywhere so he has to be.” Hermes said. The pair were talking
in tones so low that no one else could hear them.

“Who did
it?”

“Apollo must
have. Ares announced to the room that you had accepted his
proposal. Apollo didn’t take it well, although he held his
composure for quite some time. You’re in danger Glory. What’s your
next move?”

“I know I’m in
danger, but how do I get out of it?”

Glory felt
light headed all of a sudden. She left Hermes on the dance floor
and went outside to get some fresh air. Hermes had offered to come
with her but she said she’d be fine on her own. She walked out of
the room and into the cool breeze. The band for the evening was
playing soft jazz and a few wayward notes carried through the air
and out of the hall. There was a small garden outside and Glory
wandered through it and sat down on a bench. Perhaps she could
align herself with Hermes? That could work maybe. She rested there
for a few minutes on her own until she was joined by
Eileithyia.

“Have you had a
nice day?” Glory asked cheerily.

“Lovely yes,
thank you.” Eileithyia said admiring the sunset.

“Congratulations by the way. We’ll be seeing more of each other.
You’re extremely early on. I take it that the father is Ares; I
heard you two were engaged. Mother will be pleased.” Eileithyia
said.

“I’m sorry
what?”

“Oh you didn’t
know. Well you’re pregnant dear. Feeling a little faint is quite
common I shouldn’t worry.” Eileithyia patted Glory on the tummy
before wandering back inside.

Glory’s phone
buzzed from a text from Apollo that read ‘Are you ok?’ to which she
just replied ‘No’ Glory was in shock. It had to be Apollo’s. She
never slept with Thor or Ares, and she had never gone all the way
with Loki. No one else had been anywhere near her for ages. Apollo
said that he had a fucking condom. The absolute bastard, she was
sure he’d done it on purpose. She was going to kill him for getting
territorial with her womb without her permission. Dammit this was
another thing she’d have to factor into her plan. Not that she’d
managed to come up with a robust one yet.

“You’re
pregnant with Ares’s baby?” Aphrodite said.

“No.” Glory
said standing up and facing Aphrodite “No I’m not.”

“But that’s
what Eileithyia just said” Aphrodite’ eyes were feral.

Eros appeared
behind her and was approaching her slowly. “Mum, just put the box
down.”

“How can you be
the goddess of love and beauty if the love of your life is mad
about someone else? He’s already bought the ring and now you’re
having his baby.” Aphrodite pulled a gun out.

“Mum, don’t do
anything stupid.” Eros said.

Apollo opened
the door and stepped outside. Glory’s text had worried him and now
he was greeted by a scene from a made for television movie.

“You’re
pregnant with Ares’s baby.” Aphrodite said.

“It’s not
Ares’s baby, it’s Apollo’s.” Glory shouted, Coronis flashing before
her eyes. Eros began to run but it was too late Aphrodite pulled
the trigger and Glory felt a surge of power. To Aphrodite’s mind
Glory had killed her. Aphrodite had based her existence on how
others felt about her. Ares’s opinion had mattered the most and
without his love she was nothing. Thus Glory became the goddess of
love. Glory hadn’t noticed that in Aphrodite’s hand had been the
box that Eros had given her. This was the same box that stored her
heartache from when Zeus separated her and Apollo. Aphrodite knew
exactly what it was when she found it after breaking into the house
in Hackney. She had intended to use it to barter for Ares’s
affection but the baby bombshell had blown her away. When Aphrodite
died her body quickly turned back to sea foam and waves. As the
wave crashed it crushed the box into fragments. The pain that Glory
had compartmentalised and never dealt with came flooding back and
drowned her. There was nothing but darkness.

PART IV: AND
LET THERE BE LIGHT
The Darkness

A girl woke up in a bedroom in
a house. The room was bright but when she went over to the window
there was nothing outside but darkness. The girl left the room and
walked down the hallway and tried to open the door into what she
thought was the library but it wouldn’t give. Next she tried the
music room which did open. On the sideboard was a big glass of
ambrosia which she was glad to see as she was very hungry. The girl
drank it all and then noticed that there was a sheet of music on
the piano. She went over and picked it up. She had never seen it
before. The piece was called ‘Ode to Her’. She sat down and played
it through once, she liked it. The girl thought she’d go and try
the library door again and this time it opened. Unlike a normal
library, the book shelves were all empty. On the large mahogany
table in the middle of room however were three slim volumes. Along
their spines they all had the words
The Lives and Deaths
of
The Gods. The first volume in the series was entitled
Valour
, the second was
Ares
and the third was
Aphrodite
. She thought that these names were familiar but
she couldn’t remember who they were exactly. The girl thought she
had better start at the beginning and picked up
Valour
. She
took it to the armchair next to the roaring fire.

The girl felt
like she knew most of the book off by heart and skipped to the last
chapter
The Death of Valour
. It was very short:

Valour had
been the first to fall in The Great War. She was a victim of
necessity. Valour was displaced by Gravity who killed her so he
could take her place as a Valkyrie and be near Liberty and Glory.
She had been lured by Athena out into the open and cleanly murdered
with a merciful bullet. Her body transformed into a new genus of
lilacs. It is still to be seen why Gravity truly needed to be in
that house and near the sacred Glory. He lies.

This paragraph
made the girl upset. She thought that maybe she knew this Valour
girl and to have been killed in such a pointless way, if she was as
good as the rest of the book described, disheartened her. This
Gravity character seemed very cruel.

She picked up
the next volume
Ares
and began to read the first chapter but
she skipped to the last chapter all the same.

The barbaric
Ares was shot in the face by Apollo behind a strip club in Soho,
London. His body was thrown into a skip where he transformed into a
column of granite. Ares was foolish enough to think that he
deserved Glory’s hand in marriage. He did not deserve it and it was
not free to be had. Glory belonged to Apollo forever and ever,
Amen.

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