The Valkyrie (26 page)

“Ah, there you
are. Liberty let me in, I hope you don’t mind. I’ve just got a few
questions about Japan’s nuclear capabilities.” Ares said.

“Do you
really?” Glory asked.

“No of course
not, it’s all here in this very detailed report. Come and sit
down.” he said gesturing to the space next to him. Glory dropped
her bag on her bed and sat next to Ares. “We need to talk about the
war.”

“The other
war?”

“Yes the war in
the heavens. The sides are drawing up and I’ve made our position
very clear.”

“Our position?”
Glory asked another presumptuous god.

“Yes, we’re
getting married.”

“Are we
now?”

“Will you marry
me?”

Glory paused
for a moment. It came down to whether she trusted Athena, Bea and
Ares or Apollo. Bea had told her to carry on like nothing was going
on and Apollo was marrying someone else. Athena was right Apollo
was a loose cannon. During a battle scenario once Zeus had been
overthrown who would she rather have standing beside her, Apollo or
Ares? Who would win that fight? Ares would. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Ares kissed Glory. The next thing she knew no one was wearing any
clothes. She understood why Aphrodite had gone a little mental at
being dumped. As they got to that sweet spot between second and
third base, Coronis danced in front of Glory’s eyes. “Let’s not do
it right now. Let’s wait until our wedding night, and you know,
make it special.” Glory said.

“But we’re both
already naked and I don’t like to waste erections.”

“I know, but it
would be so romantic.” Glory heard a flutter of wings and turned to
see a pair of black crows perched in the tree outside. She worried
that they were spying on her.

“Alright, if
you insist.” Ares said, getting up and locating his clothes. “I’ll
see you tomorrow. I will have the ring by then.”

“Lovely.” Glory
said. Ares finished dressing as Glory sat on the chaise and
watched. He kissed her goodbye and bounded joyously out of the
room.

Glory didn’t
need to worry about the crows spying on her; they were merely the
bog standard garden variety. The real spies in the house were Bea
and Liberty. They had heard the whole thing from the landing. Bea
encouraged Liberty to text Apollo with the happy news. The game was
well and truly afoot.

***

Glory woke up
at 2pm to find that the bed had gained another occupant who was
currently spooning her and nuzzling into her neck. She rolled over
into Apollo’s chest. He smelt good.

“You shouldn’t
be here.” Glory swallowed the epiphanies that she’d had that
morning.

“It’s fine the
old man has lost his omniscience. He barely knows what day it is
anymore.” Apollo said.

“But what about
the wedding?” Glory was still half asleep and she wasn’t sure whose
wedding she was referring to.

“It’s fine. No
one knows I’m here. The house is empty. Everyone left two hours ago
for some hair of the dog.” Apollo said putting his leg over Glory
protectively.

“Why are you
naked again?”

“Well you were
so I thought it was polite.”

“Could you go
and get me some ambrosia please?”

“Sure. Ares
spoke to father about you again last night. You aren’t going to
marry him.” Apollo said getting up and going downstairs. He adored
it when Glory was dependent on him for things.

“I’m so
hungry.” Glory said once Apollo had returned and given her the
ambrosia. He looked very pleased with himself. Glory devoured it
very quickly.

“When do you
need to go to Avalon?” Apollo asked getting back into the bed. He
bit Glory’s earlobe. “You’ve changed over the last week. I like
it.”

“Everyone keeps
saying this but I just feel tired.” Glory said as she shifted on
top of Apollo. “I don’t need to be there for another four
hours.”

“Well I’m sure
I could find something to occupy you until then.” Apollo said his
hands wandering. “I want to taste you.”

“Have you got a
condom?” Glory asked. Why was she sleeping with him again?

“Of course I
have one, but I'd rather not. I don't like how they feel; besides
our children would be adorable. I love you. I adore you.”

***

Glory got to
Avalon an hour before the guests were expected. The DJ she booked
had arrived to set up his decks in the great hall in an hour which
gave Glory time to spruce the place up. Britannia had stopped going
there a few centuries earlier so the old place wasn’t in bad knick
and Glory would always go there when she needed some breathing
space. She was going to cheat and use magic to get it ready. She
set up four bars throughout the house that were going to be staffed
by some wood elves that she’d hired. There were going to be two of
them at the door plying everyone with booze as soon as they got
there. The evening was going to start as Glory meant it to
continue. In the Georgian part of the house there was to be a small
concert in the music room, ambrosian tea was set up in the drawing
room and there was to be cards in the parlour for the more
conservative guests. At Honour’s request she’d also put a fun fair
up in the garden.

***

Aphrodite had
been staking out the house in Hackney all afternoon. She’d seen a
torrent of Valkyries leave just after 12pm as she sat on the wall
over the road disguised as a tortoiseshell tabby. All the mortals
who walked past couldn’t stop themselves from giving her a ruffle
behind the ear. Finally Aphrodite saw Glory leave. She prowled
around the property and nosed into the windows making sure that
there was no one inside before she made herself appear in the
house. There had to be something in there that she could use to
take Glory down. A girl like that was bound to have a genocide
worth of skeletons in her closet, a portrait in the attic or an
evil little box at the back of her knicker drawer.

***

Glory was
pretty satisfied that she had enough gin and ambrosia to cover all
eventualities. She walked into the drawing room for a moment’s
break. She sat down on one of the sofas with a cup of ambrosia and
started thinking about what was she was going to wear.

“Are you going
to offer me any of that?” Zeus said. He was sitting on the piano
stool at the other end of the room.

Glory shot up
“My goodness you scared me.” she said getting off the sofa and
going to pour him a cup.

“Thank you.”
Zeus said as Glory handed it to him. “I like your china, it’s nicer
than Hera’s. Not that you should tell her that. She’d be
phenomenally angry about it.”

“Is everything
alright?” Glory asked. That was a very large question to ask Zeus
but Glory could tell that he didn’t get the subtext.

“Perfectly so.”
Zeus said looking out of the window. “Ares has asked for your hand
in marriage and I’ve consented. I wrote a letter to your mother
informing her of your upcoming nuptials. I’m sure she’ll be
delighted.”

“Do I get a say
in this?”

“Of course not.
You aren’t talking much, I expected you to be more vocal in your
joy. Hera likes you, you know. She very rarely likes my children.
You must have done something to charm her. Hera’s got overexcited
about the whole thing; she made Ares take her to Hephaestus’s forge
to have the engagement ring made today.”

“How lovely.”
Glory said mimicking the happiness that she thought she was
supposed to be feeling.

“Yes. Well I
had better be off. You know, you’ve taken Apollo’s marriage to your
best friend very well everything considered.”

“In hindsight
Apollo and I were never meant to be.”

“Exactly.”

“Although, I
have always wondered why you split us up?”

“Apollo is a
psychopathic narcissist and you’re the sort of girl that drives him
to the brink. In fact you’re probably the archetype: you’re an
anti-hero with a uterus. He would have done all sorts of crazy for
you. Who knows where it would have ended.” Zeus said patting his
stomach and with that he was gone.

***

Hermes was
preparing for Apollo’s stag do. He’d stocked up on beer and
cocaine. Plus he’d vacuumed his living room. Dionysius had set up
some speakers in the corner so Hermes could play his special
Spotify playlist for background music during the pre-drinking
before they went to the strip club.

***

Liberty, Honour
and Bea arrived early in case Glory needed help with anything. Well
really they were all curious about Avalon. Glory had never allowed
anyone to go there before, not even Liberty. When they got there
they were not disappointed. Britannia and Glory had both shoved all
the crap they had accumulated over the years around the place and
the walls were covered in art depicting their lives. They wandered
through the entrance hall. There was a whole room full of portraits
of Glory over the years. Liberty’s favourite incarnation of Glory
was the restoration one where she had ringlets and a heaving
bosom.

“There you
are.” Glory said appearing on the staircase. “Oh please don’t look
at all these awful portraits. There are some lovely seascapes in
the next room.”

“I like your
bonnet in that one.” Honour said pointing to a Gainsborough.

“Your house is
insane.” Liberty said.

“Well I grew up
here so it had to be bonkers.” Glory said.

“Thank you for
going to all this trouble for me. I love you.” Liberty said.

“I love you
more. Why aren’t you wearing a pink sash and L plates?” Glory said
as the pair girl hugged.

“Why are there
so many taxidermy lions around? They’re cool but really macabre.”
Bea smiled at Glory.

“Lions were
associated with my mother.” Glory smiled back. She was determined
to be civil. “If you follow the gallery down the left you’ll reach
the drawing room. Honour could you send out one of the wood elves
so they can start handing prosecco out once everyone starts
coming.”

“You’re weirdly
good at hosting parties when you’re sober.” Liberty said.

“I’m weirdly
good at a few things. I did all the taxidermy for starters during
that week I stopped drinking after Ypres.” Glory said.

“Is there
anything I can help you with?” Liberty asked.

“No, it’s all
under control. It took very little effort on my part. I got engaged
this afternoon.” Glory said.

“Congratulations” Liberty and Honour said together. Neither of them
understood exactly what was going on. Glory had always been very
anti-marriage.

“I hope you are
very happy with Ares,” Bea said as Honour and Liberty moved down
the gallery as Bea lingered. Bea leaned in and whispered “that was
the right thing to do; everything will work out just fine.”

***

Apollo was
sitting in Hermes’s armchair with a very large glass of neat vodka.
He was the only one who had turned up as yet.

“You all right
bro?” Hermes asked.

“Yeah I’m
good.” Apollo said.

“You look
mardy. You’re getting married. Cheer up.”

“Am I not
allowed to reflect on all my joyous misdemeanours on my penultimate
night of freedom?” Apollo asked with a smirk.

“Will you stop
with the misdemeanours after you’re married?” Hermes asked. Apollo
just laughed.

***

Liberty’s
guests had started to arrive in droves. She stood with Glory
welcoming everyone. There were so many of them, Liberty had no idea
who most of them were but they all seemed to know who Glory was.
Liberty couldn’t help but feel that they’d only turned up to gawp
at Glory. Nearly every single one of them had had a run in with the
empire. This annoyed her slightly; it was her hen do after all,
even if it was a sham wedding. They were nice to face her though.
Glory stood behind her and directed them all to the different rooms
that they’d probably prefer.

Artemis and
Leto arrived together. Leto was very polite to everyone and waltzed
through the entrance towards the closest bar. Artemis however shook
Liberty’s hand formally and thanked her for the invitation. She
then moved on to Glory as other guests piled in behind her and took
Liberty’s attentions elsewhere.

“Thank you for
hosting tonight. It should be an enjoyable evening.” Artemis
said.

“Not at all,
it’s my pleasure.” Glory said smiling to Artemis as she moved off
towards the music room. Artemis scared her slightly. Her strong
resemblance to Apollo was one thing but the intensity of her stare
unnerved Glory. Artemis didn’t like her much. Glory could
understand this; she was nearly as far from the ideal of chastity
as Artemis was from orgies. The Coronis vase that sat on her desk
at work flashed into her mind: Artemis’s arrow piercing Coronis’s
body for her infidelity. She had a feeling that Artemis had most
likely been watching her for the last couple of days for the same
indiscretion. Although Glory thought this was Artemis’s own
initiative. She trusted Apollo.

***

Apollo’s stag
do had started to liven up: the wine was pouring, Dionysius had
finally arrived with a troupe of scantily clad maenads and the bass
was low. The male half of Olympus was squeezed into Hermes’s place
and they were having bloody good time. Zeus had turned up and was
talking to Ares who for an angry guy seemed pretty pleased with
himself. Apollo didn’t like that. However he did like that his
drink kept being topped up.

“Why are you so
pleased with yourself?” Apollo asked.

“Glory said
yes.” Ares said

“Congratulations brother.” Apollo raised his glass. He had thought
that Liberty had been trying to wind him up earlier but apparently
not. He refused to believe that Glory could do such an awful thing
to him. This was a disagreeable turn of events. Something had to be
done.

***

By 8pm everyone
had arrived at Avalon. Glory had noticed that Aphrodite hadn’t
turned up which could have been a good thing. Liberty looked
knackered from shaking hands with the multitudes.