The Vampire (THE VAMPIRE Book 1) (47 page)

“Okay. Don’t be messing with my stuff while I’m gone though. I will know if you do.” She kissed the top of his head and then headed upstairs to change.

In a moment, everything can change. How often had things seemed to come at him, with no time, not a moment to think, or consider or choose. It just was. And then he was forced to deal with the consequences of a hasty decision or action.

Was this the reason for the delay in killing him? Had they, perversely, needed his signature first? To get them off the hook?

Once Carrie left, he sat staring out the window again, feeling weary and deeply depressed. He would have to start all over; a new job search. If he was still alive.

His thoughts returned to the forms he had just received. The note was dated on Monday and they were mailed late that day, priority, expedited. Today was just Wednesday and he had them already. He sighed. They were in such a hurry to be rid of him.

Well,
he reminded himself,
you told them you wanted to resign. Maybe not in so many words but you made it clear enough. When asked, you did say you wanted out. Well, yes, but I would have said anything just to get away from them then; just to be safe. Anything, not to be killed
.

He remembered now. Allen had said to him, no less than three times at least: do you want to take some time off; days, or weeks? Visit your family; think things over. He felt a sudden pang of regret now. Of course he was glad to see his family again. Glad to be out of that situation. He hadn’t thought beyond that moment. He hadn’t really thought about the permanence of it, not then.

He hadn’t been able to see past his fear; past the sudden realization of his imminent demise. He had had other, more pressing concerns on his mind, at the time.

Jason gazed out the window at the now heavily falling snow. But his thoughts were elsewhere, far away.

If only you had been able to talk to him. He would have answered your questions
. Jason heard those words again in his mind, the words Allen had spoken, and he sighed. But he just couldn’t. Couldn’t they see that? He had been too terrified. He took a big sip of his tepid coffee.

Talk to me
.

The words came to him suddenly, more clearly than when he had first heard them at the time. Painfully sharp now. He hadn’t heard it then, but he heard it with startling clarity now, in his recollection. The almost pleading tone of voice.

Talk to me
.

He got up suddenly and put his now empty coffee cup in the sink. He went downstairs and got dressed, not bothering to shower or shave. He put on his coat and borrowed his dad’s scarf and gloves from the hall tree by the door. He got the car keys for his old car off the hook where they were kept and went to the garage. It was time to make himself a more available target. If they were coming to get him, let them do it now. They had the power to put him out of his misery.

He decided to drive Carrie to her job at the mall. He hung out there for a while; sat and watched as people passed by. The only person who paid any attention to him was an elderly woman, a mall walker who eyed his tousled hair and ear piercing with barely concealed disdain. He finally headed back home, having reached a decision based just on speculation: They would come for him in their own time, unless he spilled the secret first. It would happen on a day and at a time of their choosing; he would never know, never see it coming. But it would probably be soon.

In the meantime, he had to live his life. How long could he stay at his family’s house before they became suspicious? What would he say to them? It would be better if he found a job first; then he could tell them it just hadn’t worked out at the other; and now he’d found something else. That would make him seem less pathetic.

He felt suspended from the world. An image came to mind as he was driving home. A recurring image: a figure on a tarot card. When he got home he went to his sister’s computer to look it up. He needed a distraction just now. Anything to take his mind off of his present circumstances, if that was even possible.

The same image had been popping up in his consciousness, and strangely even in the environment, in abstract ways. A fleeting image of Houdini, chained and suspended, on a magazine cover. A TV commercial which featured a Cirque du Soleil acrobat upside down hanging onto a slender tether. He was always mindful of signs and symbols when they called his attention. There always seemed to be a reason for them: something he needed to pay attention to.

There it was: the Hanged Man. He skimmed over several different websites and read several different interpretations. A man suspended from the living world; hanging there of his own free will; a card of ultimate surrender; someone suspended in time. Suspended between one world and another. A period of indecision; needing to evaluate behavior and patterns; taking time to reflect on a situation before action; holding off on any further activities for a short period, which may create a different and better outcome. The card was about waiting; and about emotional release. An acceptance and a surrendering to present circumstance. The reversed position: looking at yourself from a different perspective. It represents a reversal of your usual way of life. One whose perspective of the world has completely changed. Knowing that soon the hanged man must right himself and then things will be very different than they were before. It is looking at areas in which you give up too much to others at the expense of your own wellbeing. Your own goals and dreams could be put on hold because of external circumstances and reality. Expect major changes to occur. Or, accept the circumstances and find peace within yourself. Was this the message and the meaning he was meant to take? It all seemed to describe him right now.
This is where I’m at. Suspended between past and future; unsure of how I feel about anything. And not knowing what to do
. The embodiment of indecision. Needing to sort things out. And to come to a decision after careful consideration. All of the descriptions fit him exactly now.

But he felt a sudden emptiness, like someone who has lost everything meaningful in his life. A profound hopelessness and despair engulfed him.

That’s not true,
he reprimanded himself.
I have my health; my family. There are many things I enjoy in my life; I am passionate about many things and these are all meaningful to me. There are many places in the world I want to travel to; many experiences I haven’t had yet. I can have a really great life. Just not…that life again
. But he still felt a deep sense of loss and regret for that lost existence. It wasn’t his fault this happened. Yes, he had said he wanted out. But it was because he was afraid of the situation…that
they
had placed him into! That he had unknowingly gotten into. The terrible secret he wasn’t supposed to know…Augere; all of it. Couldn’t they see that?

He sighed heavily again and then retrieved the Sunday job listings from the recycle bin. He needed to find a job; that had to come first. God, that whole process. How much he dreaded it. Searching for a job has to be one of the more stressful things anyone could face. He would have to update his resume, again. Reason for leaving last job…? Yeah, he would have to work on that.

He thought about what he had to look forward to. Horrible job interviews. Suits and ties. Trying to sell himself. Maybe becoming more and more desperate. Finally just settling for something. A stuffy little cubicle. Boring staff meetings. Annoying co-workers. Time clocks, and deadlines, and mandatory this and that. Maybe dreaded TPS reports…missing staplers… A short lunch break, and then back onto the wheel and make it spin until they finally let you leave and then you go home so you can come back and do it all again tomorrow…he almost wished his assassin would come today. It would be preferable to facing all that.

And where was he going to live? He liked living in Boston. But it would be very expensive for him to do so now; he would have to have a very good paying job. And a roommate. And if he didn’t return to Boston, would he ever see Zavi again? Another deep pang of regret. He really liked her. Their relationship had been going so well. The prospect of maybe not ever seeing her again brought fresh anguish and sank him even lower.

But could he even live in Boston again, knowing Augere would be there? That could weigh too heavily on his mind. He would see him on every corner, whether it was him or not. It would be maddening. If he was still alive, that is.

A sudden intense anger took hold of him. Damn it! None of this was his fault! He should not have to be going through all of this. He really liked Augere.
We should be in that house right now, instead of me being here and having all these negative thoughts weighing me down
. There was no reason he shouldn’t be there.

Talk to me
.

What had he needed to hear from me?
Jason thought with sudden remorse.
What was I supposed to think when he grabbed my arm and would not let me leave…
And then, he had a sudden realization. A thought occurred to him for the first time. Was that why Augere held him there? So he wouldn’t say or do anything crazy, in the state of mind he was in? He was trying to protect his secret, certainly; but maybe trying to protect Jason from doing something he would regret? He felt ill suddenly. Yes. That could have been the reason.
Not to threaten me
.

Jason relived over and over those moments at the hotel in London that evening.
Talk to me
. What had Augere thought when Jason turned his face away from him? And would not speak to him or acknowledge him. Would not, could not even look into his eyes. What was he supposed to think? How was he supposed to interpret that? Jason sat and soberly reflected on all that had taken place.

This is just crazy!
Jason thought suddenly.
I should just call Augere; talk to him. He would listen to me. I’ll just explain what was going on in my mind at the time; I think he’ll understand, under the circumstances. I’ll just tell him why I was so afraid. Reassure him I would never tell; that I have no intentions of ever doing so. They don’t need to worry about protecting the secret—I’ll protect it too
.

Suddenly, it all just seemed so clear. Just call him. Talk to him, and explain everything. That was the right thing to do.

Jason got his work cell phone and pressed the pre-set number for Augere. It rang. More than the customary number of times. He should have taken a moment to prepare what he was going to say to him; he didn’t want to be on the phone with him, stammering and—

“The number you have reached has been disconnected and is no longer in service.”

Jason automatically pressed the number again, thinking he had just hit the wrong key. And got the same result.

He looked at his phone. Then he manually dialed the number. Disconnected. It couldn’t be. Was it a mistake? It had only been a few days…it was the only number he had to reach Augere directly. A chill came over him, as if the door had suddenly opened letting an icy blast of winter into the room.

Okay. Okay. Well, I’ll just call Mr. Genier then. He will be able to get me in touch with Augere
.

“May I ask who is calling, please?” a female voice responded. This had never happened before. He had always gotten through directly to Mr. Genier. She asked if Jason could hold. She was back on the line a few moments later.

“Mr. Genier is expected to be tied up in meetings for the rest of the day. Would you like to leave a message?”

Jason kept his voice calm, but he was stunned. “Yes. Please. Would you say Jason Sterling called. I need to speak to Mr. Augere and I have been unable to reach him. It is rather important.” She took the message.

He was quieter than usual at dinner that evening, but he was grateful for the comfort of having his family around him. Carrie announced she didn’t want dessert and coffee, because she and Jason were going out driving. It was news to Jason, but he decided to passively go along with it.

They had to bundle up against the cold, and there was more snow than he would have liked for an impromptu driving lesson. Then again, Carrie would be facing this kind of weather often. Better for her to get used to driving in it.

He had to force himself to focus on the task, for the safety of both of them. Actually, she did quite well. He was proud of her. It felt good to be doing something normal and helpful for someone he really cared about. It helped take his mind off of his worries temporarily. They dropped his SD cards off at a photo place so he could have CDs made of his vacation photos, though he was less enthusiastic about those right now than he would let on to Carrie. There was quite a few, so they decided to pick them up the next day. They went to Dunkin Donuts for coffee. Carrie wanted to stay out driving, but Jason said they would have the whole weekend to do so, and she relented. She was already starting to probe him with questions, and he didn’t have the energy to deal with that right now.

When they got back home, they both started watching a recent popular film Evan had rented for all of them. For a while Jason pretended to be interested in the story: a high school girl learns her new crush is a werewolf…He finally begged off and went to bed. He lay awake for a long time, thinking. Tomorrow was Friday. He would try Genier again. He should be able to get to talk to him. If he couldn’t reach him for some reason, he might even have to wait until Monday. He did not want to have to wait that long.

“I’m sorry. Mr. Genier is not available right now. May I take a message?” It was 9:00 a.m.; Genier was usually available at that time. Or anytime Jason called, for any reason.

“Can you tell me when he might be available?”

“I really couldn’t say, Mr. Sterling.”

“Okay. I will try him again later.”

He had nothing else to do to fill up his morning. He knew he should be looking for a job. He went online to update his resume, grateful he had saved a copy of it on his dad’s computer when he had been job hunting before. He posted his resume on several of the main job sites.

Around noon he tried Genier again.

“Just a moment please, I’ll check to see if he is in.”