The War Within (4 page)

Meredith groaned inwardly. She knew how precious time off could be. If someone cost the unit time away from the base, she would instantly become a pariah in the barracks. Meredith didn’t want to be that person. She resolved to get up and at ’em as soon as the first notes of reveille sounded instead of trying to grab a quick catnap while she waited for the crowd in the shower to thin out.

“I run a tight ship here, ladies,” Lt. Col. Daniels said unnecessarily. Meredith could tell just by looking at her she wouldn’t let any of them get off easy. “I expect each one of you to live up to the standards Uncle Sam and I set for you. Don’t let me down.”

After Flynn made sure all the i’s were dotted and t’s were crossed on everyone’s paperwork, Meredith picked up her duffel and prepared to leave. She had first shift tomorrow. She planned to collapse on her bunk as soon as she had some chow.

“Robinson, Chase,” Lt. Col. Daniels said. “Private Flynn will make sure your belongings are taken to your respective hooches and placed on your designated bunks. In the meantime, you’re with me. I have an assignment for you.”

Meredith tried and failed to meet Robinson’s eye. She had an uneasy feeling the assignment would involve the body bags she had seen shortly after her plane had landed. Sure enough, Lt. Col. Daniels briskly led her and Robinson on the same route the ambulances had taken earlier.

“Private Robinson, it will be an honor to work with you again,” Lt. Col. Daniels said on the way.

“The honor is mine, ma’am.”

“Who did you piss off to get stuck with this gig? The last time I saw you, you were headed home.”

For the first time, Robinson’s implacable façade slipped the slightest bit.

“I was,” she said with a shrug, “but I figured I’d be able to do more good here.”

Lt. Col. Daniels flashed what Meredith suspected was a rare smile. “Silly me. I thought I had something to do with your decision to stay.”

Robinson’s cheeks colored. “I wanted to be where I was needed.”

Lt. Col. Daniels patted her on the back. “Then you’re definitely in the right place. We’ll see what we can do to get you your stripes back.”

“You don’t have to put yourself out for me, ma’am.”

“I’m not going to give them to you,” Lt. Col. Daniels said. “You’re going to earn them fair and square. Just like you did the first time.” She turned to Meredith. “Chase, you’re probably wondering why I chose you for this assignment.”

The statement didn’t seem to invite comment so Meredith remained silent.

“Your superiors have been raving about your ability to stay cool under even the most harrowing circumstances. I want to see if they’re right. I want to know if you’ve got what it takes. And most of all, I want to know if you’re half as good as your friend over here.”

Lt. Col. Daniels’s words felt like a challenge. An impromptu test Meredith hoped she wouldn’t fail.

Lt. Col. Daniels led them to the morgue but didn’t venture inside. She stopped with her back to the door. Meredith could hear the whirring of a generator and the rush of artificially cooled air. The pleasant thought of cooling off was tempered by the details of the assignment she and Robinson had been handpicked to carry out.

“Whether you’re for the war or against it, please remember you’re here to do your duty to the utmost of your ability. Through this door are the remains of some of the men our country has lost. It’s our job to identify the bodies and determine the cause of death. The attendant on duty will assist and document, but it will be up to us to look in each body bag, locate the decedent’s dog tag, and examine the wounds. In the real world, a doctor would perform this chore. In this one, the docs are too busy trying to save the living to concern themselves with the dead. That’s where we come in. Are you ready?”

“Ma’am. Yes, ma’am,” Robinson said with enough confidence for both of them.

Meredith followed Lt. Col. Daniels and Robinson inside the building. The refreshing blast of air conditioning was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of decomp.

“Here,” Lt. Col. Daniels said, holding out an open jar of Vicks VapoRub. “This should help.”

Following Robinson’s lead, Meredith pulled on a pair of latex gloves and stuck a finger in the jar. She spread a thick line of the topical ointment under her nose. The pungent menthol fumes partially dispelled the odor of death.

Lt. Col. Daniels introduced them to the morgue attendant, a pale man with an air of almost preternatural calm. “Ladies, this is Private Elias Burke. He will record our findings, tag the bodies, and make them as presentable as possible for the flight home. Private Burke, First Lieutenant Meredith Chase and Private Natalie Robinson.”

Burke drew himself to attention and snapped off a crisp salute. “I wish we could have met under less trying circumstances,” he said after Meredith and Lt. Col. Daniels returned his greeting, “but it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Meredith eyed the zippered black body bags neatly laid out on the floor. Lt. Col. Daniels approached the closest. “I’ll take the first to show you how it’s done.”

Her face was expressionless as she opened the bag. The body inside was of a man who appeared to be around thirty. His face was so serene he seemed to be sleeping, but the enormous hole in the center of his chest told the true story. His heart, lungs, most of his internal organs, and a large portion of his spine were missing. From his shoulders to his waist, only a small section of his ribcage remained.

“Mortar wound. Perhaps even a grenade,” Lt. Col. Daniels said with clinical dispassion. “Cause of death, massive blood loss from significant internal injuries.” As Burke wrote something on the first of a thick stack of paper tags in his hands, Lt. Col. Daniels located the dead man’s metal dog tag and read off his name, rank, and serial number. Burke noted each on the tag and clipped the tag to the end of the body bag. Lt. Col. Daniels turned to make sure Meredith and Robinson knew what was expected of them. When she seemed satisfied that they did, she motioned to Robinson and said, “Okay, you’re up next.”

Robinson unzipped the next body bag. She didn’t flinch as she revealed the man inside. “Shrapnel wound to the neck. Cause of death, ruptured jugular.” She slid her finger into the jagged hole at the base of the man’s neck and shoulder. “Some material still imbedded in the wound. Will need to be removed while the body is being prepped for shipment home.” She read off the vital statistics on the man’s dog tag, zipped the bag shut, and moved to the next body.

“No,” Lt. Col. Daniels said. “It’s Chase’s turn.”

Robinson looked over her shoulder. Her expression was skeptical. For a moment, Meredith thought she meant to disobey a direct order. Then, with a purposeful nod, she lowered her eyes and moved away.

Meredith’s legs were leaden as she approached the body. She felt as ungainly as Frankenstein’s monster. As if her limbs were not her own and she had no idea how to use them.

She tried to gather her thoughts as she reached for the zipper on the body bag. The black plastic material slowly moved up and down as if the person inside were breathing, but she knew that was only her mind playing tricks on her. No one came into this room alive and they definitely didn’t make it out that way.

She kept her eyes focused on the floor as she slowly unzipped the bag. Only when she had gotten control of her breathing did she look up. She inhaled sharply but didn’t cry out. In life, the soldier in the body bag had suffered a horrific injury. The indignities he had suffered after death nearly brought Meredith to tears.

“Tell me what you see, Chase,” Lt. Col. Daniels said gently.

Half the man’s head was missing. The right side was intact, but the left was completely gone. Hundreds of maggots filled the cavity. Meredith’s stomach lurched and she tasted bile in her throat as she watched the plump creatures feed. The man’s body had obviously lain unattended on the battlefield for quite some time before medics had been able to get to him. Flies had laid their eggs in his gaping wound. Now their offspring were feasting on what was left of his head.

“Chase?”

Meredith licked her dry lips and began to speak. “G-gunshot wound to the head. Most likely from an AK-47. Cause of death, catastrophic cranial trauma and massive blood loss.”

Meredith’s hands were shaking, but she tried to keep her voice steady. She could feel herself losing the battle with her nerves. Because she knew determining the cause of death was only one part of the task she had been assigned. Now she had to reach into the gore to find the man’s dog tag so his family could know for certain their loved one had been killed in action and was no longer one of the missing or unidentified.

Meredith’s stomach lurched again as she felt the maggots squirm against her gloved fingers. She bit her tongue to keep her breakfast down. The lumpy oatmeal and rubbery eggs she’d eaten in Okinawa had tasted bad enough the first time. She didn’t want to try her luck on a second go-round.

“Good job, you two,” Lt. Col. Daniels said after they had identified all the bodies. She discarded her gloves and washed her hands in a stainless steel sink. “I would tell you it gets easier, but nothing about this job is easy.”

“Permission to be dismissed, ma’am?” Meredith asked after she finished washing up. She pressed her fingers against her temples to alleviate the pounding in her head brought on by the heat, the odor, and the mindlessness of war. “I-I could use some air.”

Lt. Col. Daniels looked her up and down, appraising her as if she were a prize Guernsey competing for top honors at the state fair. Meredith didn’t feel worthy of a blue ribbon. Not today. “Dismissed.”

Meredith snapped off a salute and rushed to the door. Outside, she stood with her hands on her knees and took a deep gulp of fresh, unpolluted air.

“Are you okay?” Burke asked, sounding like a funeral home director attempting to comfort a bereaved family member. “Is there anything I can do?”

Meredith slowly straightened as she began to regain her composure. “No, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

Burke walked away, most likely headed in search of an official authorized to sign off on the paperwork in his hands. Meredith stepped back inside, where Robinson and Lt. Col. Daniels were conversing in low tones. Their backs were to her so they didn’t see or hear her approach. Meredith hesitated, uncertain whether she should stay or go. She didn’t want to interrupt and she didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but then she heard them mention her name.

“Chase impressed me today,” Lt. Col. Daniels said. She sounded relaxed. As if she were playing catch-up with an old friend instead of having a conversation with a subordinate. Meredith wondered how long she and Robinson had been working together to reach that level of comfort.

“Did you know what was inside the third bag when you said you wanted her to have it?” Robinson asked.

“No, that was purely the luck of the draw.” Lt. Col. Daniels took a long pull on her cigarette and exhaled a thick cloud of smoke. “She held herself together well. I’ve seen some who’ve tossed their cookies over a great deal less. You included.”

Robinson pretended to take offense. “That was years ago. I’ve grown a cast iron stomach since then.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Lt. Col. Daniels extinguished her cigarette on the sole of her boot and draped a consoling arm over Robinson’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’re still the best nurse I’ve ever worked with. Given time, though, Chase might take the title away from you.”

“I think you’re right. She seems to have the right stuff.”

Meredith smiled at the compliments, but Lt. Col. Daniels’s next question confused her.

“Is she one of us?”

Robinson seemed to have trouble with the question, if the time she took to respond was any indication. “I’m not sure,” she said at length. “I don’t think she knows yet.”

“Your CO thought you were a lesbian?” Jordan asked. “Her gaydar must have been on the fritz.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You were cooler than my parents were when I came out, but you’re the straightest woman I’ve ever met.” She frowned at the absurdity of the idea anyone would think otherwise. “On the Kinsey scale, you’re probably a big fat zero. I, on the other hand, am a perfect six. A genuine, gold star lesbian. Did Robinson and Lt. Col. Daniels ever hook up? You make it sound like they were ex-lovers or something.”

“I always thought they had a history, but in our day, you didn’t talk about such things. We couldn’t afford to be as open as people are now.”

“Some still can’t,” Jordan said bitterly, thinking of all the members of the LGBT community who were still being discriminated against simply because of the way they lived their lives—and the people they had chosen to love. “What happened after you identified all the bodies?”

“We shipped them home and went to work,” Grandma Meredith said matter-of-factly. “We started putting in shifts at the hospital, where we treated injuries that ranged from minor to mortal.”

“What was the worst injury you ever saw?”

Grandma Meredith thought for a moment. Her eyes darted from side to side as if she was searching through a card catalog of memories. Then her eyelids slid shut as if the memory she had retrieved was too painful to be viewed for long.

“Sometime during the first month of my tour, we treated a soldier who had stepped on a land mine. Robert, his name was. Robert Laws. He asked us to call him Bobby.” She shook her head, a sad smile on her face. “I remember it like it was yesterday. Robinson and I were on duty when he was brought in. He was wearing MAST trousers when they wheeled him into the ER.”

“Mast what?”

“MAST trousers. They’re a device you inflate to put pressure on the lower half of a patient’s body to allow sufficient blood flow to the brain and heart to maintain viability. Despite the seriousness of his wounds, Bobby was awake and alert when he arrived. Logic said he should have been passed out from shock. I nearly fainted from the shock of seeing the condition he was in.”

“Was it that bad?”

“He looked like a marionette whose strings had been cut. His right arm was twisted behind his head and his left heel was resting under his chin. His right leg was missing altogether. Without the MAST trousers, he would have bled out in the field. Instead, he was in the hospital cracking jokes and flirting with all the nurses. He took a particular shine to Robinson. As soon as he latched eyes on her, he pronounced himself head over heels in love.”