The Way Home (Lights of Peril Book 2) (6 page)

“
I can see your eyes working, Mace. You only care about setting me up now. You have to stop pushing me, damn it. C’mon, give me some credit for knowing when I’m ready.”

“
It’s nothing like that. You’re wrong. I am just tired and my back hurts. I’m sorry. I don’t have energy to argue with you. Everything feels off around here. I mean, Shame is acting like a damn idiot and for once I’m not the one responsible for it. Never mind…”

She’s looking behind me and I can hear
someone approaching. I turn my head to see Shame coming at me and he is seething.

“Sadey, I’m not trying to come off as an ass here, but don’t
be walking into someth…”

“Shut up, Shame.
For once, just Shut. It. All. Up. I love you, but you have done enough. I’m sorry you feel you couldn’t share with me that my friend was in town, but now that I know about it, I’m pleased to see him. Excuse me.”

I walk around Shame, hearing him curse me under his breath and hear
Mace’s attempts to calm him.

His voice raises as I walk away, “Buddy, I’m just asking for you to be careful, that’s all.”
I keep walking, ignoring him. He doesn’t like it, but that’s not my issue.

I’m walking through the c
lub and for the first time in a long time, I’m watching all Hem’s brothers as they celebrate. Smoking, drinking, laughing, and, of course, as expected, most are also engaged with each other. Bleh … didn’t ever miss this part of the display.

Ace is sitting at his old bar stool.
He is something so familiar, something I’ve longed for all these months.

“Hey, b
ug.” His words sweetly drip when talking soft to me, calling me only by nickname.

“Hi.
I need a drink. Strong one, please.”

I generally don’t drink anything other
than a margarita, but my people are driving me nuts. If I don’t loosen up I’m going to snap.

“Cr
icket, can you get Sade a drink? Apparently, she needs a strong one.” Ace winks at me then drops eye contact just as quickly.

Cricket,
a new prospect in the bartender position. Sucks, but Shame keeps the boys in rotation and each prospect serves their time behind the bar. It’s inevitable.

Ace studies my face for a second.
My bar stool is next to his and our knees are touching. I don’t feel anything about it, really. Just overwhelmed that he’s back and I get to have my friend again. No matter how long we have, he’s here now and I’ll take it.

Cricket gives me my drink and I start to take a
swig of it, but hell if I don’t hear Mace coming at us. Down girl, damn.

Before she opens her mouth I look to Ace
and seethe in regards to her with sarcasm, “Go with it. She will get bored and go away eventually.”

“I just heard you.
I’m eight months pregnant, Sadey Marie. This doesn’t make me deaf.” She signals to her stomach as if I didn’t know she was the size of a small cottage.

I just give her an
eye roll and turn back to Ace and smile. He’s grinning back at me, knowing I’m starting trouble.

“What are you guys chatting about over here?
Talk to me, please. My back hurts, my feet look like tree stumps, and my man is pissed to hell.” I don’t miss that she looks at Ace as she says the last. If I could get her ass out of here, I could feel relaxed again.

“Well, M
ama, I just got my drink and sat down. Aren’t you just leaving?” She looks annoyed at my brush off and the wheels in her mind are moving. It’s rare that said wheels are ever in my favor.

“Ace, did Sadey tell you how she’s been doing?
Sadey, did you tell Ace how you’re doing?” Shit, I know her game and I can see she’s got her game face on.

“Mace…”
I try to be calm and collected here, but I’m also trying to shut her the hell up.

“She doesn’t sleep
. She tries, but nightmares keep coming back to her. She’s missed you.” I knew this wasn’t about to be good, but what the fuck?

“Dam
n it, Mace! Stop! Jesus, you are too much. I’m sorry you’re miserable, but I’m not. Where is Shame? He needs to take you home.”

“You don’t
sleep, Sade.” She looks to Ace, “She doesn’t, Ace. She’s all sorts of messed up. She still has nightmares almost every night.”

“I’m out.
Thanks, Mace. Too far, friend. I don’t need saving, God damn it.” With that I turn to leave. I’m going up to Hem’s room. I haven’t got to drink anything at all tonight, but I’m pissed and I want to be here, around the people I’ve missed. Before I can scoot my bar stool away and make a break for it, Ace stops me. Again.

“Sadey, can we go to dinner tomorrow night
, please? I am here this weekend, all weekend. Tomorrow is Saturday and you don’t work. I told you, I want to talk to you. I mean that, so see me tomorrow?”

I look at an approving Mace.
God, she just doesn’t stop. I want to go out to dinner with Ace, but by looking at her, you would think he has just
proposed
a damn date.

“Yes,
that’s fine. Pick me up at the house about seven o’clock. Don’t care where we go, you decide. See you then.” I walk past Mace without another look. This baby needs to get here. The woman was crazy before prenatal hormones, but damned of now she’s making the men around here look tame.

Ace stands to walk to
me and closes what little distance I had put between us in the attempt to escape. He brushes the hair from my face to behind my ear and looks down at me with his dark eyes full of adoration, “See you then.” He’s going to make some woman very happy one day.

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?”

-Ernest Hemingway

Halfway up the stairs to Hem’s old room, I changed my mind about staying at the club. Tonight has been a whirlwind of emotion laced memories. All I want to do is go home to my little man and snuggle in with him before sleep. I’m surprised how energetic I feel now that I’ve secured a job, made a visit to Hem to say goodbye, and then made plans for dinner with an old friend.

Walking
into my house I find Cherry sound asleep on my couch. She’s recovered well from last year’s assault and I consider her one of my closest friends. Not to mention she loves watching Patrick. She has told me she considers him her adoptive nephew.

The doctors had advised
her during her recovery that she will no longer be able to conceive children after the trauma she sustained at the hands of Greyson, crazy fucking monster. Her son lives in Las Vegas with her parents. If I remember right, she told me he was three or four. She can’t be more than twenty years old, so I’m assuming she had to make some rough choices before leaving him behind and coming here. Unsure on the story with that, but the news from the doctor didn’t upset her as much as I thought it might have. Her reaction definitely wouldn’t have been the same as mine. She’s stronger than she gives herself credit for, in my opinion.

Standing
next to the couch, I put my hand on her shoulder, “Cherry, honey, I’m home.” I murmur quietly so I don’t frighten her. She has nightmares as well, however, hers are of memories full of physical suffering, while mine are from emotional pain.

She sits up rubbing her eyes
. She looks a bit freaked and a little pale. I assumed it’s because I’ve surprised her, but it’s not. “Sadey, someone came over tonight. I don’t know who he was and he wouldn’t tell me. He just told me to tell you he would come back and when I told him where to find you, he looked pretty angry. He said he was coming back to talk to you soon, too.”

“Really?
What did he look like? Cherry, you should have called if you thought this was important. It upset you. I can see it on your face.” I don’t ever get visitors outside of the Peril. This doesn’t sound like safe news.

“
I’m not upset. I was caught off guard. Patrick was a handful tonight, more so then usual. I’m not sure about the guy. I’ve never seen him around before. He’s big, all tatted up, angry looking, and a deep and scary voice. He has a cut that starts over his eye and stops a little bit under his nose. Not new, but you could still really see it. He looked like any number of the club brothers, but he wasn’t wearing a cut and he was scoping out the inside of the house before I realized he didn’t look right. It happened fast and Patrick was crying, so I kinda pushed him away. Sorry I didn’t get a better look.”

What she is
really telling me is that she was terrified and that this man brought back bad memories. I’ve no idea who would want to talk to me. I will let Shame know and he can deal with it. She did well not allowing him in, especially with Patrick here. When Shame gave me warning to be careful earlier, I thought he meant with Ace and my emotions, not a creeper that comes knockin’ at my door.

“No
, no, no. Thank you. I don’t want anyone in the house when I’m not here, anyway. You’re fine. Thank you for staying with Patrick tonight. Do you want to stay here or are you taking off?” Cherry lives alone and after that visitor, I’m sure she’s probably scared. April no longer stays with her; she and Honor have all but moved in together.

“I’m going
to head out, thinking about hitting Peril and see who all is still around. You going to be alright? I can stay if you want me too. April had called earlier and told me Ace is back in town. I have time for some girl gossip if you want me to stay.”

Interesting, the girls are talking about Ace and asking if I’m alright.
Ace is my friend. He’s not here to hurt me. I’m starting to believe my people watch entirely too much late night television drama.

After Cherry leaves I hear Patrick stirring in his crib.
I shouldn’t ever have started letting him sleep with me. It was good for us to be together after Hem left, but now it has become a habit. He won’t sleep in the crib unless he’s absolutely exhausted. Even then, he wakes in the night for me to take him for a cuddle. I’m rushing to clean my face and brush my teeth. I have my little monster timed. I have about six minutes before he cries for me.

Grabbing him out of the crib
, I walk to kitchen to get him a bottle. I’m back into my pajamas. Mace really did burn my fashion flannels, so I’m having to break in a new pair of fuzzy, striped pants. The little bitch witch won’t get to these.

I’m finishing the bottle and
holding Patrick as he is squirms. I’m too tired for this. A knock at the door pulls me from my pity in a panic. My heart beats faster, remembering what Cherry said about a visitor. I grab my cell phone, just in case, and make my way to the door. I check the peep hole first, thinking that it had to be a woman that created that novel idea because we
think shit through.

The k
nock comes again and I see Ace is standing there looking down at his boots. He’s so damn wide with size through the peephole;, it’s as if he takes up the entire porch. I can see his neck muscles flex with his movement and the shadow of a tattoo coming through the top of his shirt. Any hot-blooded woman would consider him a catch. I would as well, if my heart hadn’t just started to mend.

Opening the door
, I see his face etched with concern. “Sadey bug, hear me out.” Well, that’s not a good start. Shit.

“What’s wrong?
You okay? Ace, it’s late.” I look to the clock on the cable box and note that it’s past midnight. “What are you doing here?” Patrick is squirming. Being Hem’s boy, he knows instinctively when food is ready for delivery. Shame’s assessment is true; Little Caveman Jr.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after you left.
Thinking about what Mace said. Sadey, you still have nightmares?”

He’s still standing outside because I haven’t let him in
. Honestly, I’m unsure I’m up for company. “Sade, answer me? Can I come in?”

I pull myself from thought,
“Yes, sorry. It’s just late and I’m tired.”

Before
having a chance to even shut the door behind him, he’s coming at me with his hot, newly tatted arms and seizing Patrick from me, then adeptly takes Patrick’s warm bottle from my other hand. I’m not exactly sure, but if he were the love of my life, that maneuver might have been pretty hot and gotten him a lot of free sex.

Now, here I stand in my hot new jammie pan
ts, and holy shit, just my kami. Damn it. Ace is looking over every inch of me, top to bottom. Of course he is. Men can be such single-minded pigs.

I
reach to grab Patrick from him, but he turns his body away. “Sleep Sadey, I’m here. You have a nightmare, wake me. If Patrick wakes, I got him. You could use sleep. You never had bags under your eyes before. You’re eye lids are puffy, too. Bug, you’re tired. Let me help while I’m here.”

“Um
, Ace, I appreciate you coming all the way over and all. I can’t say I appreciate the jabs about my eyes and face being puffy and said baggage under my eyes, but you can go. I’ve been doing this by myself….” I’m cutoff.

“For too fuckin’ long.
That’s what you’ve been doing. You’ve been living here with Patrick, doing this by yourself too fuckin’ long, Sadey. When someone offers help, you take the help. Jesus, you haven’t changed, have you?”

He lifts Patrick
, putting him in position to be fed, “Look, bug, he likes me. Go on and rest awhile. If it makes you feel better, sleep in here or I can sleep in your room, above the covers, of course, but either way, I will wake you if needed. I’m not leaving tonight, so you arguing is only delaying your sleep.”

Ace has the bottle in
Patrick’s mouth and I don’t have the heart to remind him that Hem is in that boy. His blood is Hem’s blood…offer food, he’s your best friend. Try giving him a bath, pal, his disposition quickly changes.

I don’t want
to tell Ace I can’t sleep without Patrick in my bed or at least in my room with me. I know telling him that lends him an opportunity to put a spotlight on my nightmares that big-mouth Mace told him about.

“I’m alright.
You can go. I promise if I need anything I will call you.”

He
walks and gives Patrick back to me, pulls my neck so I’m forced into him. He leans his forehead to mine, “Why don’t you ever listen? What about this scenario isn’t clear in that head of yours?”

Once he releases me he
sits down on the couch. I’m standing over him with my son in my arms and Ace is looking up at me. Without processing what I’m doing, I’m staring down at him, lost in memories of how he and I used to be together.

I
can’t get over how much I’ve missed his presence. He fits in my life and I don’t want him to leave again. Coming out of my own head, I feel his hand on my thigh, moving up and down. His forearms have even changed. Ace was never a small person, but damn if he isn’t biker-hot and huge now.

“Ace
… what are you…” The feel of his touch causes me to lose my words.

“Shhh, I’m staying.
You need a friend, Sadey. I can see this. You’re all over the place. It’s never been like you to take your anger out on other people. Even the night that Mace found us in your car, she scolded us like kids, remember? You tried to stay calm, until she wouldn’t let you stay calm anymore after she put your ‘V card’ status out on display. She was so fuckin’ pissed at me that night. She really thought all that was my idea.”

He
chuckles to himself as he remembers the night he found out I was still a virgin. My memory of that night doesn’t mirror his. We remember the same night, that’s for certain, but for very different reasons.

I smile wide
at Ace because, yes, that night was my first time being with a man, but it was with Hem, not him. He was gentle as we made love, before and after.

Jesus,
ten minutes ago I was taking my son to bed with me after feeding him. Now, I’m being pursued by the past.

“
No, Sadey Girl. I’m never leaving you again
.” Hem’s words from that night haunt me suddenly. I feel my chest get tight and my eyes water.

Turning my back to Ace
, I start walking down the hall, taking Patrick to bed with me. “Sleep here then …Couch is yours. See you in the morning.”

“Bug, wait.”
He starts up from the couch and come to me, but I don’t want to be near him right now. I have my son in my arms and I just want to go to bed. If Ace comes close to me now, I could do something stupid. I would regret it and it wouldn’t be fair to him.

I stop
mid-motion and turn to him, “I’m really tired, Ace. What is it?”

“Dinner tomorrow. You said we could go to dinner.
I’m gonna head out early in the morning to take care of some shit around here, so if I don’t see you before then, I will be here at seven tomorrow night to pick you up, okay?”

“Sure.
I will be ready.”

With that
, I turn and take my boy directly to my room. I want to hear him breathe tonight, I need to hear Hem.