The Way to a Woman's Heart (35 page)

‘So,’ Gabby summed up, ‘we’ve had day three of our southern area heat. And I think you’ll agree that our four cooks here in baking hot Berkshire have provided us with something very different, very old-fashioned, wonderfully cooked and beautifully presented. Tom and I are delighted and very impressed. Aren’t we, Tom?’

Tom, who had just shoved another of Billy’s scones into his mouth, nodded in agreement. Sadly, his reply was muffled and very crumby.

Gabby looked scathing. ‘That made no sense at all – par for the course with Tom – but I think we more or less got the gist of it, didn’t we? Well, today we’ve been treated to an exceptional three-course meal from four exceptional cooks. They’ve certainly raised the bar.’

Tom had swallowed his scone but still had crumbs round
his mouth. ‘Ah, yes, they certainly have – they’ll be a hard act to follow. So, tomorrow, when we’re in, um, Wiltshire, I wonder what delights there’ll be in store for us there?’

‘We’ll all have to wait and see, won’t we?’ Gabby twinkled. ‘So, we’ll see you all the same time tomorrow when we’ll be, as Tom says, in Wiltshire. Until then, it’s goodbye from Ash and, er, the others here in Berkshire.’

Ella, simply thrilled that it was over and no longer caring that she had smudgy eyes and damp, lank hair, managed another rictus smile. She assumed the others did too. Poll waved at the camera.

‘. . . and it’s goodbye and good cooking from me and from Tom and from
Dewberrys’ Dinners
– until tomorrow evening.’

‘Pickin’ A Chicken’ plinketty-plonked from a hidden source and echoed round the kitchen.

‘OK.’ Gabby tore off her microphone. ‘Let’s go.’

Ella blinked. It was all over. It was really all over. And they’d survived.

‘Fab food,’ Tom said cheerfully. ‘Really fab food. You should deffo become our Weekly Winners.’

‘TOM!’ Gabby screamed. ‘We do not EVER say that.’

‘Oh no, but they were sensational, weren’t they?’

‘Good, yes,’ Gabby said, grudgingly. ‘Very, very good. But who knows what Wilts and Beds will provide for us in the
next two days.’ She leered at Ash. ‘Not two words very often linked together in your vocabulary, I’m guessing.’

Oooh tacky! Ella thought, trying not to giggle.

Ash didn’t dignify the remark with a reply.

As Gabby, followed by the entourage of minions, disappeared upstairs to collect her unused frocks, shoes and probably enough make-up to stock a large cosmetic department, Tom leaned against the kitchen table.

‘Well, that went really well. You’re all excellent cooks. That was one of the best shows we’ve ever done – oh – but please don’t tell Gabby I just said that. Will you? Please?’

‘Of course not.’ Poll, her eyes glittering with a massive happiness high, beamed at him.

‘Um, and would anyone object if I went outside for a quick ciggie? Only please don’t tell Gabby – she doesn’t know. She doesn’t like me smoking.’

Or much else, I’ll bet, Ella thought.

Poll beamed a bit more. ‘Oh, yes, of course, you go right ahead. And all your secrets are safe with us. There’s an ashtray out on the table in the garden. Billy likes a smoke, too. I don’t have any objections at all. Why don’t you go with him, Billy? You must be gasping.’

‘Ah, I am, Poll love.’ He gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. ‘Come along, Tom – let’s go and get our nicotine fix together.’

‘Oh, thank you.’ Tom looked as though Poll and Billy had just jointly handed him the secret of eternal youth and King Midas’s never-ending-gold recipe all wrapped up into one package. ‘Thank you so much. You’re both very kind.’

And, with the air of someone who probably hadn’t known an awful lot of kindness, Tom picked his way across the kitchen – pausing for a quick word of thanks and a handshake with all the crew – and disappeared out of the back door with Billy.

Poll, still beaming from ear to ear, tottered to the rocking chair and sank into it. Ella, exhausted, but with adrenaline pumping non-stop through her body, wanted to skip round the kitchen and yell and grab everyone and kiss them – especially Ash, who was helping the film crew dismantle things. Oh, yes, especially Ash…

She didn’t.

She smiled at Poll instead. ‘Well, we did it. We actually did it.’

Poll nodded, pushing wisps of hair away from her face. ‘We did. And nothing went wrong. Aren’t we clever? I do hope someone has recorded it for us because I don’t actually remember very much about it – except being very, very hot and very, very scared. Oh, and something funny with the lights going dim and then Trixie… or did I imagine that? Billy said Trixie came into the kitchen and did some more fairy stuff, but did she? I must ask her… She could have ruined it all.’

Ella, reckoning that discussing Trixie’s intervention with an even more doolally than usual Poll right now was possibly not the way to go. They’d talk about it later. When they’d calmed down a bit. If they ever did…

‘There’ll be plenty of time later to have a post-mortem on all of it,’ she said carefully. ‘We’ll sit in the garden, when Tom
and Gabby have gone, and chat. I think we just need to try to relax a bit now.’

Poll nodded. ‘Yes, you’re right. You’re always right about things. But –’ she gave a little giggle ‘– it was all such fun, wasn’t it? And now it’s over I really loved it! Oh, Ella what if we
win
?’

‘God, Poll, don’t. I can’t think about that now. Because, if we win this heat it means we’ve got to do it all over again. But, yes, it would be amazing.’

Still buzzing, Ella leaned gratefully on the rocking chair and watched as the crew, helped by Ash, quickly and efficiently cleared up their equipment.

‘Dunno what went wrong earlier,’ the producer scratched his head as they rewound cables and unplugged banks of sockets and repacked the silver boxes. ‘Funny, that blip… Nothing showed up on the monitors though and it was all over in a second. Don’t think it spoiled anything – I’ll have to check the recordings back in the studio.’

‘We’ve had no complaints from Up On High,’ the director said, shaking his head, ‘so I’m guessing it didn’t interrupt the filming much – if at all. Very odd.’

‘It’ll be electrical atmospherics,’ the runner boy said, rapidly removing the props, ‘count on it. Thunderstorm somewhere. Right, is that the lot here? What’s next?’

The crew, inch perfect and well organised, soon had the kitchen almost returned to normal.

‘Shall we clear our stuff up now, too?’ Ella, slowly coming down from her high, left Poll beaming benignly in a world
of her own, and walked across the kitchen to Ash. ‘Or are we having this lot warmed-up for supper?’

‘No way,’ Ash groaned. ‘I never want to see it or smell it or eat it again. We’ll ring out for pizzas, shall we? But –’ he grinned at Ella ‘– we were bloody brilliant, weren’t we?’

She nodded, still longing to hurl herself into his arms by way of celebration but managing not to. ‘We were. It all worked really, really well… and even the things that could have gone horribly wrong, didn’t.’

‘Mmm.’ Ash opened two more bottles of water and handed one to her. ‘Onyx certainly made a stunning entrance. Almost.’

‘Tom certainly thought so.’

They laughed. Then Ella stopped. ‘Ash, the, well, fairy stuff that happened – when Gabby had picked Roy’s dinner out of the freezer. It did happen, didn’t it? Trixie did rush in looking like a pensioner version of Titania? And she did sing another fairy song? And then it all went, well, odd, and Roy’s food did turn into the crystallised fruits, didn’t it?’

Ash shrugged. ‘Not sure what happened, to be honest. I was just bricking it when I saw Gabby with Roy’s food. But yes, I’m sure Trixie was there and I’m sure she sang some fairy stuff and then it went dark and, well, everything else was a bit of a blur.’

‘But Gabby and Tom don’t seem to have noticed anything really
weird
after the Puck-word, did they? Or the crew? They all knew
something
happened but none of them think it was – well – magical, do they? They’d have said something, and they didn’t, did they?’

Ash laughed. ‘What, like, “Oh, there’s Gossamer Snapdragon and her band of fairies galloping in to rescue us from imminent disaster by changing deep-frozen mice into crystallised fruits with the whisk of a wand”? No, can’t say they did.’

‘But,’ Ella insisted, ‘that
was
what happened. Somehow. Crikey, last time I was prepared to think it was some sort of illusion, but now… You don’t think Trixie can really work magic and conjure up fairies, do you?’

‘I honestly don’t know what to think. Either she’s a very clever illusionist, or it was really fairies… Nah, it couldn’t be, could it? More likely that she saw what was happening with Gabby, flicked the dimmer switch and did the changeover herself.’

‘How?’

‘I don’t know. I really don’t know, but I’m just damn glad she did. I owe her one. Right now though, I just want to get some air. Come on… the crew are almost done and we’ll have to say goodbye to Gabby and Tom. He’s still in the garden, isn’t he?’

‘Bound to be, especially if a near-naked Onyx is still out there too. He doesn’t look like he gets much fun.’

‘No, poor bloke.’

They picked their way towards the door, and the producer and the crew said well done, and you never know we might see you again, and thanks for the hospitality and for making it so easy for us.

Like reluctant slimmers escaping from a sauna, Ella and Ash then rushed out into the garden and greedily inhaled the gorgeous evening freshness.

‘Hi, superstars!’ Onyx, surrounded by removed-from-confines dogs, cats and hens, waved languidly from the swing seat. ‘Billy and Tom have been telling me all about it. It sounds really cool. Did you enjoy it?’

Together, grinning, their words tumbling over themselves and with a lot of repetition, Ella and Ash told her exactly how much they’d enjoyed it.

Billy and Tom, stubbing out their cigarettes, stood up.

‘I’ll go and see how Poll’s feeling,’ Billy said. ‘And if young George is still awake I can tell him all about it, too.’

‘And I,’ Tom said sadly, with a last lingering look at Onyx, ‘must go and join Gabby. She hates to be kept waiting.’

‘He’s a nice man.’ Onyx smiled as he disappeared back into the kitchen. ‘Very amusing and interesting. And much more handsome than he looks on the telly, don’t you think? Bit henpecked though, I’m guessing. So how does it feel to be celebs? Oh, and sorry about almost barging in and messing it up.’

‘It was really funny,’ Ella giggled. ‘I thought Tom was going to have a heart attack when he saw you.’

‘I wasn’t trying to scene steal, honest. I was trying to listen in and it all sounded really good, then the dogs came rushing up and jumped all over me and I sort of leaned against the door. I was mortified! Sooo – me nearly fouling up your culinary brilliance apart – do you think you’ve won?’

‘Too early to say.’ Ash patted the dogs, moved two cats to one side and sank down on the swing seat. ‘I reckon we were definitely better than the first two, but there’s still Thursday and Friday of the southern heats to go.’

‘You’ll walk it,’ Onyx said confidently, stretching her endless legs out in front of her and snuggling up to Ash. ‘I’m really, really proud of you.’

They smiled at one another.

Time to exit stage left, Ella thought miserably, suddenly feeling very weary. I know when I’m being a great big green gooseberry.

‘We’re having pizza later,’ she said to Onyx. ‘I’ll go and see what Poll and Billy and Trixie want then I’ll ring and arrange a delivery. Shall I count you in?’

‘Oooh, yes please. I’ve got some money in my bag.’

‘My treat,’ Ella said. ‘By way of an after-show celebration.’

‘But I wasn’t part of the show.’

‘No, but you’re part of the family,’ Ella said stoutly, thinking that torturing yourself was probably ever so good for the soul. ‘And you’re my friend – so what would you like?’

‘Oooh, brilliant then – I’ll have a veggie special with extra olives. Ta, Ella, you’re a star.’

Yeah, right, Ella thought. And I’m also head over heels in love with your boyfriend…

Two hours later, after answering umpteen congratulatory phone calls, none of them from Mark, as the balmy dusk spread gently over Hideaway Farm, and the midsummer sky was marbled pink and lilac and grey, they sat exhausted in the garden, round the wooden table, munching on pizza and sipping champagne.