The Wee Free Men (26 page)

“Look, I know you were…were…” Roland began, going redder in the face.

“Very helpful?” said Tiffany.

“…but you can’t talk to me like that, you know!”

Tiffany was
sure
she heard, up in the roof and on the very edge of hearing, someone say: “Ach, crivens, what a wee snotter…”

She shut her eyes for a moment and then, heart pounding, pointed a butter paddle at one of the empty buckets.

“Bucket, fill yourself!” she commanded.

It blurred, and then sloshed. Water dripped down the side.

Roland stared at it. Tiffany gave him one of her sweetest smiles, which could be quite scary.

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” she said.

He turned to her, face pale. “No one would believe me…” he stammered.

“Aye,” said Tiffany. “So we understand one another. Isn’t that nice? And now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got to finish this and make a start on some cheese.”

“Cheese? But you…you could do anything you wanted!” Roland burst out.

“And right now I want to make cheese,” said Tiffany calmly. “Go away.”

“My father owns this farm!” said Roland, and then realized he’d said that out loud.

There were two little but strangely
loud
clicks as Tiffany put down the butter paddles and turned around.

“That was a very brave thing you just said,” she said, “but I expect you’re sorry you said it, now that you’ve had a really good think?”

Roland, who had shut his eyes, nodded his head.

“Good,” said Tiffany. “Today I’m making cheese. Tomorrow I may do something else. And in a while, maybe, I won’t be here and you’ll wonder: Where is she? But part of me will always be here, always. I’ll always be thinking about this place. I’ll have it in my
eye. And I
will
be back. Now
, go away!
”

He turned and ran.

After his footsteps had died away, Tiffany said: “All right, who’s there?”

“It’s me, mistress. No’-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, mistress.” The pictsie appeared from behind the bucket and added: “Rob Anybody said we should come tae keep an eye on ye for a wee while, and tae thank ye for the offerin’.”

It’s still magic even if you know how it’s done, Tiffany thought.

“Only watch me in the dairy, then,” she said. “No spying!”

“Ach, no, mistress,” said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock nervously. Then he grinned. “Fion’s goin’ off to be the kelda for a clan over near Copperhead Mountain,” he said, “an’ she’s asked me to go along as the gonnagle!”

“Congratulations!”

“Aye, and William says I should be fine if I just work on the mousepipes,” said the pictsie. “And…er…”

“Yes?” said Tiffany.

“Er…Hamish says there’s a girl in the Long Lake clan who’s looking to become a kelda…er…it’s a fine clan she’s from…er…” The pictsie was going violet with embarrassment.

“Good,” said Tiffany. “If I was Rob Anybody, I’d invite her over right away.”

“Ye dinna mind?” asked Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock hopefully.

“Not at all,” said Tiffany. She did a little bit, she had to admit to herself, but it was a bit she could put away on a shelf in her head somewhere.

“That’s grand!” said the pictsie. “The lads were a bit worried, ye ken. I’ll run up and tell them.” He lowered his voice. “An’ would ye like me to run after that big heap o’ jobbies that just left and see that he falls off his horse again?”

“No!” said Tiffany hurriedly. “No. Don’t. No.” She picked up the butter paddles. “You leave him to me,” she added, smiling. “You can leave everything to me.”

When she was alone again, she finished the butter…
patapatapat….

She paused, put the paddles down, and with the tip of a very clean finger drew a curved line in the surface, with another curved line just touching it, so that together they looked like a wave. She traced a third, flat curve under it, which was the Chalk.

Land Under Wave.

She quickly smoothed the butter again and picked up the stamp she’d made yesterday; she’d carved it carefully out of a piece of apple wood that Mr. Block, the carpenter, had given her.

She stamped it onto the butter and took it off carefully.

There, glistening on the oily rich yellow surface, was a gibbous moon and, sailing in front of the moon, a witch on a broomstick.

She smiled again, and it was Granny Aching’s smile. Things would be different one day.

But you had to start small, like oak trees.

Then she made cheese…

…in the dairy, on the farm, and the fields unrolling, and becoming the downlands sleeping under the hot midsummer sun, where the flocks of sheep, moving slowly, drift over the short turf like clouds on a green sky, and here and there sheepdogs speed over the grass like shooting stars. Forever and ever, wold without end.

TERRY PRATCHETT’s novels have sold more than thirty-two million copies and have inspired a devoted worldwide following. In addition to his best-selling books about Discworld, Mr. Pratchett has also written several books for young readers, including the Bromeliad trilogy:
TRUCKERS, DIGGERS,
and
WINGS;
and the Johnny Maxwell trilogy:
ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND, JOHNNY AND THE DEAD,
and
JOHNNY AND THE BOMB
. Mr. Pratchett was awarded Britain’s highest honor for a children’s novel, the Carnegie Medal, for
THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS
.

Visit him online at
www.terrypratchettbooks.com

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The Carpet People

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ROMELIAD
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HE
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OHNNY
M
AXWELL
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RILOGY
:

Only You Can Save Mankind

Johnny and the Dead

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The Unadulterated Cat (
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(
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The Discworld Companion
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The Discworld Mapp
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The Last Hero: A Discworld Fable
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illustrated by Paul Kidby
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THE WEE FREE MEN
. Copyright © 2003 by Terry Pratchett. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Mobipocket Reader March 2007 ISBN 978-0-06-137683-2

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