The Wild Seed (8 page)

Bethan felt fear grow within her, she wondered if it was best to remain silent, to keep the marriage, from the outside at least, a stable one.

He was out a great deal but she was used to that. Previously, his absences had not bothered her, but now, suspecting he was with that other woman, every moment apart was torture.

And then everything changed. Bethan discovered that at thirty-eight years old, she was pregnant with her first child, she must have conceived on the very last night she had slept with her husband. It was ironic.

It was almost unbelievable. She sat in the big drawing-room and stared unseeingly out of the window. She rested her hand on her stomach and a feeling of peace came over her. Whatever happened, she would always have a part of Boyo to call her own.

‘I love it, Boyo, it’s like a dream house.’ Catherine clung to his arm as they stood in the sun-splashed kitchen of the house. He had told her he would buy her a cottage but this gabled building was far more than that. It had eleven bedrooms, most of them facing the sea. The living-room ran the length of the house, with one wall almost completely taken up by the huge window. The kitchen where they stood was airy, filled with the most modern of fixtures and fittings, it was a place out of a fairy tale.

‘I hope you won’t feel too cut off down here.’ Boyo put his arms around her from the back and drew her against him so that her head rested against his shoulder. ‘I know Caswell is a quiet spot but it’s conveniently placed between Swansea and Rhossili and so lovely, I couldn’t resist it.’

‘I love it, I told you that, Boyo, but I would have been happy with you in the smallest cottage. I mean it, you don’t have to buy me fancy things to prove how much you love me, mind.’

‘I know.’ He kissed the top of her head. Catherine twisted around so that she was looking up at him.

‘I only wish Mam and Dad would come and see me but I don’t think my father will ever forgive me for spoiling his plans.’

‘Don’t worry,
cochen
, I’m here to look after you now.’

She smiled up at him. ‘Boyo, my love, my sweetheart, my darling, please don’t call me that.’

‘
Cochen
? Why?’

‘I don’t know, it sounds impersonal, somehow. Call me Cathie, anything, but use my name.’

He kissed the tip of her nose. ‘Right then, I shall call you Cat because you are like a little kitten.’ He paused and leaned away from her, laughter in his eyes. ‘A little kitten with red fur!’

She pretended to slap him but he caught her hand and then he was kissing her passionately. She responded to him with joy and abandon and when he lifted her and carried her to the master bedroom with its floral drapes and silken sheets, she sighed softly.

‘I love you so much, Boyo Hopkins, I was only half alive until you came back into my life.’

He slowly undressed her, kissing her eyes, her throat, her breasts, her belly. She shuddered in anticipation, she wanted him inside her, possessing her, setting his seal upon her. But he made her wait, he made her quiver with expectation and excitement. She heard small moans come from her throat and wondered why, so quickly, she’d changed from an untried girl into a passionate woman.

‘Please, Boyo, love me, love me now.’

He came to her then, smoothly, gently taking possession of her. She cried out, clutching at his shoulders, wanting the sensations to go on and on.

His hands were beneath her, lifting her towards him so that he could possess her more fully. And then a fury began within her, a flame of ecstasy that was almost pain. It shuddered from her toes through her thighs and belly, encompassed her breasts and stole her voice from her. It was a rainbow fragmenting within her, washing her with brightness and colour and joy. She began to cry, tears of release, tears of wonder that such sensation could be hers. He held her close, still within her and they clung together for a long time, their breaths mingling, their limbs entwined.

At last she stirred and touched his cheek. ‘Boyo, I didn’t know such feelings existed.’ Her voice was little more than a croak. ‘I could never have imagined such … such …’ she stopped, lost for words. He kissed her mouth gently.

‘I love you, Cat, never doubt that, never.’

She closed her eyes, a feeling of drowsiness creeping over her. ‘Boyo, what a wonderful beginning to our new life together,’ she whispered.

Later, they ate dinner in the small dining-room. It was a meal prepared by Catherine, a simple meal of cold meat and pickles and fresh bread spread with thick salt butter.

‘I’m sorry it’s not very much, I’ll have to learn to cook.’ Catherine was apologetic. ‘If it wasn’t for your thoughtfulness there would be no food in the pantry at all.’

‘No need for you to learn to cook, Cat, I have advertised for some staff for you, I’ll be interviewing candidates at the beginning of next week.’

‘You are so good at taking charge, it’s wonderful to be cared for this way.’

‘It’s only what you deserve. In any case, I’m sure that Fon did everything she could for you, spoiled you rotten.’

‘Aye, that’s true but I had to work in the fields, mind, help my father whenever I could.’ A shadow fell across her happiness, now Jamie would be working alone. If only her parents had responded differently. Their blessing she did not expect but she was entitled to their understanding, wasn’t she?

It was growing dark by the time the meal was finished. Boyo rose and lit the lamps, going around the house closing windows, locking doors. With a sinking feeling inside her, Catherine realized he was not staying with her for the night.

‘Do you have to go, love?’ She looked up at him, her eyes pleading. He rested his hand on her shoulder.

‘It’s only for tonight, I have to prepare Bethan. Now that her father has returned home, I can talk to her about the divorce, that’s what we both want, isn’t it?’

She held onto his hand. ‘Of course it is, Boyo, but I’m going to miss you so much. You’ll be here tomorrow, won’t you?’

He smiled and touched her cheek. ‘Try keeping me away.’

It was silent in the house when he had gone and Catherine wandered around picking up books and ornaments and replacing them almost at once. She sighed, it was so quiet. She moved the curtain aside and looked through the window. The moonlight fell across the sea in a silver pathway and she shivered, she didn’t think she could bear to be alone like this too often.

She might as well go to bed, at least there she could breathe the scent of him, remember him holding her in his arms, kissing her, loving her, making her aware of her body as she had never been before.

She crouched beneath the covers, hearing every creak of the boards, every rustle of the trees outside, telling herself it would be better once the staff had been employed. She looked at the empty pillow beside her and somehow she wasn’t convinced.

‘You shouldn’t have waited up for me, Bethan.’ Boyo kissed his wife’s cheek feeling like a Judas. ‘I told you I might be late.’

She regarded him steadily and it was as though she could read his thoughts. She sighed heavily.

‘I have something important to say to you.’ She didn’t shift her gaze from his face, not even when he filled his glass with brandy and sat opposite her. The last thing Boyo wanted was for Bethan to be hurt but the sooner he told her his plans the better.

‘I want to talk to you, too, Bethan,’ he said slowly. She nodded.

‘I know about your little love-nest, there’s no need to tell me, news travels fast, especially gossip of that sort.’ She spoke softly without censure.

‘Please, hear me out,’ she said as he made to speak. ‘Then you can have your say.’ She paused as if to gather her strength. ‘I realize that our marriage was not one made in heaven; we married because it suited us, both of us. But you are well aware that I will not, under any circumstances, consider divorce, not now.’

‘It is not altogether your decision.’ Boyo felt compelled to return the challenge in her eyes. He noticed that she was very pale, even sweating a little and he was concerned. He made a move to rise to his feet.

‘Bethan, can’t we leave all this until the morning? You look very tired.’

‘I have waited patiently for you to come home, Boyo,’ Bethan said. ‘I have to speak now, so please, just be quiet and listen to what I have to say.’

He subsided in his chair and raised his glass to his lips, waiting with a sense of apprehension to hear what was on his wife’s mind. Whatever it was, he had the feeling he was not going to like it.

‘You have taken a woman, you have set her up in a house in Caswell, that is a situation which I cannot change and so am prepared to put up with.’ She held up her hand again to stop him speaking.

‘That affair is not important, what is important is that you are still my husband and you will do me the courtesy of being discreet, do you understand?’

He rose to his feet and stood looking down at her. ‘Bethan, I have a great deal of regard for you, you know that.’ She flinched visibly at his words. ‘I feel a great deal of affection for you,’ he added hastily. ‘But please don’t try to treat me like a recalcitrant schoolboy.’

‘You are behaving like one,’ Bethan said, her tone curt. ‘You are running around like a boy who has never had a woman before.’

‘I haven’t, not like Catherine.’ He saw her turn away. ‘I’m sorry to hurt you but there is no way to say it other than right out; I love her, Bethan.’

‘Love; to a man it is such a transient thing. Well, you might change your mind about your “love” when you hear what I have to say, so please listen. I learned something today that is wonderful news to me and I hope to you, too.’

‘What news could that be, Bethan? That your hotel has made you even richer than you are already?’

‘I’m going to have our child.’

At first he thought he couldn’t have heard correctly. ‘But Bethan, you are too …’ The words trailed away but she knew what he had intended to say.

‘I am too old? Apparently not.’

He stared down at her, trying to assimilate this new idea; a child, perhaps a son and heir. He shook his head. ‘You are sure of this, Bethan, it’s not some trick?’

She looked at him scathingly. ‘Since when have I needed to resort to tricks, Boyo? Just listen to yourself, will you?’

‘I’m sorry, that was unnecessary. Do you feel well, are you strong enough to bear a child?’

She laughed without humour. ‘Well, I’m not a delicate little doll, am I? It seems to me I have no choice in the matter; I am having this child and that’s all there is to it, I’ll have to be strong.’

He put his head in his hands, he was filled with a confusion of sensations: pride, joy, despair, he didn’t know what to feel. Bethan, sensing something of his dilemma, took pity on him.

‘Look, Boyo, you can see her, you can stay with her sometimes, but for the sake of our child, if not for me, can you act with discretion and pretend to the world that all is well with our marriage?’

He looked at her, he had never seen her ask for anything before; she had been self-sufficient, in charge of her emotions, but now Bethan was vulnerable, she needed him. Wearily, he rose to his feet.

‘Don’t worry, we’ll work something out.’ He suddenly felt he must get out of the room, he must be alone to think. ‘We’ll talk more in the morning,’ he said and Bethan inclined her head without replying.

In his room, Boyo went towards the window and stared out at the moonlit night. In the huge gardens, the trees were tipped with silver, the lily pond just beyond the terrace looked like a fairy ring. They would have to fence that in when the baby came.

It hit him then, he was going to be a father. He sank onto the bed and covered his eyes with his hands, he didn’t know what he should think or feel, all he was aware of now in the darkness of the night was what a mess he had made of his life.

‘My love, you’ve borrowed 3,000 guineas! Do you know what you are taking on?’ Craig was seated at the window of Summer Lodge, his eyes resting on the manicured lawns and the carefully situated flower-beds which gave apparently random splashes of colour to the garden. He did not look at his wife, he felt ashamed, he had betrayed her, not with his body but with his lack of business acumen.

‘Don’t worry, Craig, it will work, it has to work.’ Hari placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed him lightly. He closed his eyes in sudden pain, he loved her so much and he had brought her from the heights of wealth to the depths of poverty with a few foolish moves.

‘The money has given the bank a little more faith in me.’ Her voice was soft and yet edged with excitement. ‘I’ll use it well, don’t you doubt it.’ She moved away from him and stood at the centre of the room looking around her. ‘I intend to begin by making the necessary alterations to the house. I’m sorry, my love, but Summer Lodge will shortly be unrecognizable.’ She kissed the top of his head. ‘But then anything is better than losing our home, isn’t it?’

He heard the hint of uncertainty in her voice and knew he should be reassuring her. How could he? He had no faith in himself any more, anything he had to say would be worthless. ‘The leather,’ he forced himself to speak, ‘has it been taken away from the warehouse by the bailiff yet?’

‘No and it won’t be, not now that the bank has agreed to wait. I have had the stock moved to the old tannery; I have Mr Hopkins’s permission to use it as a store for the time being at no charge. And with the help of Mr Hopkins, I have let the warehouse at a very satisfactory figure, so it will not be draining us of any money but bringing us income instead.’

‘You seem to have everything under control, Hari.’ He turned to face her and she crossed the room swiftly and sat on his knee, her arms around him hugging him to her.

‘I’m doing it for us, Craig, please don’t be hostile to me, I’m trying my best.’

He buried his face in her neck. ‘I’m sorry, Hari, I’m so afraid, afraid that we’ll just sink deeper into the mire.’

She turned his face up to hers and kissed his mouth. ‘I promise you, my darling, we are going to succeed. What I did once, I can do again, please believe me.’

He felt tears burn behind his lids, he who had been the strong one, master in his own home was brought to this, depending on his wife to bail him out of problems he alone had created.