The Winter of Regrets (20 page)

J
oy looked out the window, shocked to see Whiskey’s car parked in front of Elena’s house. She couldn’t believe Elena was acting so foolishly. This was bound to cause a problem if Thrash happened to come over. She picked up the phone and dialed Elena’s house.

A sleepy Elena answered. “Hello …?”

“Are you losing your mind, Elena? What if Thrash sees Whiskey stayed the night?” Joy admonished her.

“I don’t care who sees his car is here,” she answered tiredly. “Get your nose out of my business. You woke me up and I never sleep in.”

Elena hung up on her. Jersey stood just behind Joy and when he spoke, she jumped. “That was a stupid move, Joy. You are going to piss Elena off, pushing Thrash at her.”

“She can’t hook up with Whiskey,” she argued. “He only wants a fuck, and Hunter wouldn’t like him. Jerz, I’ve heard the guys all say he gave Thrash his blessing.” Joy turned her big blue eyes on him, hoping she hadn’t pushed him too far.

Jersey moved so fast Joy never saw the hand that grabbed her chin. “I said leave it alone. You’re getting into shit that doesn’t concern you now?”

Joy was in shock. Jersey had never put his hands on her like this. “Let go of me!” she said, choked by his grip. “I’m looking out for my friend!” He let go of her chin, staring intensely into her blue eyes. “Don’t you ever grab me like that again!”

He shook his head. “Blondie, don’t try to run Elena’s life, you’ll regret losing a good friend. Maybe Hunter thought Thrash and Elena would be good together. But if she doesn’t, let it go. Didn’t you see the way she and Whiskey looked at each other at the wedding?”

“I saw how hurt Thrash was and how mad he looked. It isn’t fair, Jerz,” Joy whined.

Jersey sat down to pull his boots on. “Thrash was told to back off. Don’t try to play matchmaker, either. I’m not asking you, Joy, I’m
telling
you to let this go. Stay out of Elena’s love life. Understand?”

“Yeah. I still think it’s all wrong.” She watched him questioningly. The horses had already been taken care of. “Where are you going so early?”

“Out. I won’t be long. Be ready for me to take you to the diner for a late breakfast,” he added, back to the normal Jersey.

He was out the door before Joy could answer him.

D
eidra and Jack looked at all the company in their house and smiled. Both were happy to see friends and family enjoying themselves. Dee was a bit angry Jack’s parents hadn’t come, but Jean was upset that Jo and Nailz weren’t invited. Jersey and Joy hadn’t come either, which further upset Dee, but Jersey said they were in the midst of arguing. Black Dog, Willie, and Melora had come, along with Dusty and Darko, Veiko, Kima, Josie, Rebel and Violet, Lacy-Jane with Shanna and Bebe, and finally Angie and Chrissie. Whiskey held Rhiannon as Elena held Shanna gently. They made a good-looking couple. Violet glared at Elena, but she only smiled back. Good food, good friends, and family filled the house. Dee was happily snapping pictures, determined to capture every moment. She got one of Elena, her Dad, and the babies that she knew was going to be perfect.

Rebel chatted with Whiskey, who handed Rhiannon off to Elena. Violet had made a move to grab Shanna, but Elena wouldn’t give either baby up. Lacy-Jane and Dee exchanged amused glances. Violet glared at Elena who paid her no attention, still smiling.

“Deidra, I need to speak to you outside with Rebel for a few minutes.” Whiskey looked at Mad Jack, who nodded and went to greet the late arriving Thorn and Tears.

“Sure, dad. Let me grab a coat.” Dee went into the bedroom to grab a hooded sweat shirt.

Rebel, Whiskey, and Dee stood on the porch under a blanket of stars. Members of Nefarious and Satan’s Attitude were drinking beer around the fire pit nearby.

“Let’s take a walk down near the water,” Rebel suggested. “I don’t need anyone overhearing what I wanna say.” With that, Rebel moved off the porch leading the way while Whiskey and Dee followed.

Away from the house, Rebel lit up a joint and began to say his piece. “Dee, I need you to look out for Penny, but Violet said you weren’t happy about that.”

Deidra tried to look at Rebel’s face, but it was too dark. By his voice, he sounded normal, however with Rebel, it was best to see his expression. She finally replied, “No, I wasn’t happy about it. I don’t want to be involved in any of Penny’s schemes. If you’re hiding her, this last one must have been a big one.”

Rebel chuckled at that. “Well, she’s still doing her keg stands, but yeah, she pissed off all my boys and the ol’ ladies. Put fucking laxative in the beer and the food, gave everyone the shits for days.”

Dee gasped. “Nope.” She shook her head as if to shake away the words she just heard. “Don’t want to know any more, Rebel. I’m starting a new life, I can’t have her dragging me down. Sorry.” Whiskey coughed. Dee turned to her father. “Sorry, but I got into enough trouble with her in the past. She won’t listen to me! Daddy, I just got married.”

Rebel put his arm around Dee. “Honey, we don’t expect you to hang out with her. I got her a spot working in Thrash’s Ocean Cove Tattoo Shop. She’s gonna rent a studio apartment from him. Darko will give her a few nights to dance. If you hear she’s into any shit, just give your dad a call, okay? Same goes for Angie and Bebe.” With a nod, he dropped his arm and headed back, leaving Dee with Whiskey.

She turned to her dad at once. “I’m not Satan’s Attitude anymore. I’m a Nefarious ol’ lady now. I’ll try, but I have to do what Mad Jack says. Why can’t Angie and Bebe watch Penny?”

“I think Angie is gonna be busy explaining to Hyway why he’s never heard he had a daughter. Deidra, nobody is asking you to do more than pass it on if everything is okay with those girls. So you’ll do that. Anyway, I’ll be up at least once a week to check on Shanna and to see Elena.”

“Don’t hurt Elena,” Dee found herself saying suddenly. “She isn’t like the girls you go for. She’s had her own troubles and … and she’s my friend,” she added, unable to keep the worry out of her voice.

“I see something in Elena,” her dad admitted, “that I haven’t seen since your mother died, Deedee. Did you see her take Violet’s bullshit with a smile? You know, with you and Shanna living up here, I’ve been thinking it may be time to make a change. Maybe move to Jersey. We need a bigger force here. Now, don’t be talking to anyone about that either,” Whiskey added, his voice hardening.

Dee was still amazed he’d called her Deedee; he hadn’t called her that since her mother died.

“Are you serious about Elena?” she asked. “Everyone thinks she and Thrash are a couple. Or, that they’re meant to be…” Her voice trailed off into the salty air as they stood looking at the bay.

“Elena doesn’t want him,” he said. “She told me so. I think about her all the time. Deidra, I never thought I’d love again after your mother. I was going to go on living as I did with Margo. That was hell. She was crazier than Violet. I met Elena and a spark ignited in me. I promised your mother I would love again. Hell, I promised her too many things and broke all of them. I’m going to be a better father, Dee, and I want more kids and a decent ol’ lady. I want what I had with your mom.” Whiskey pulled the flask out of his coat and offered Dee a sip.

Dee looked at her dad. Never had he offered her a sip from that flask. She took it, kicked it back, and enjoyed the burn down her throat before handing the flask back to her father.

“Lacy-Jane wants to keep Shanna,” she told him with a smirk. “Has she talked to you about that?”

“Your cousin needs to find a man and have her own babies. You think Elena would let me give her Shanna?” Dee reached for the flask. Whiskey handed it off. “Deidra, I’m being straight up, here. I want a relationship with Elena and I think she does too. We’re taking it slowly, but if it works out, Shanna is going to be with me. You said Elena was your friend, so this could be a good thing.”

After taking a swig, Dee thought about it. “Yeah, it could be. I can see you with Elena. But I still think Thrash won’t let her go, honestly. I wish you the best, daddy, as long as you’re serious.”

“Fuck Thrash. Maybe Penny will drive him crazy or hook up with him. Unless Elena talks to you, this is our family business. No telling Mad Jack or your cousin. I hope you’ll take Shanna a few nights or days because Lacy-Jane is going to dance at Dirty Deeds. Be nice for you to know her.”

Dee coughed; whatever was in Whiskey’s flask was strong. “You know she won’t. She won’t stop mourning Stevie.”

Whiskey laughed at that. “Little girl, she agreed to my rules when I said she could move up here. She dances, or I let Violet watch Shanna.” He rubbed Dee’s shoulders. “I did it for her own good. Violet isn’t getting Shanna, but it was a good threat. I helped raise Lacy-Jane. I’m tired of seeing her not living life. Stevie would hate seeing her like this and you know it.”

Dee put her hand into Whiskey’s. “You’re right,” she realized. “He really would. Maybe we can stop calling her Lacy-Jane, too. I liked it when she was just Calico the dancer. She might find her old self, if she’s back dancing. She’s too attached to Shanna, know what I mean? You know she can get sneaky-sneaky when she’s crossed, though. You’d better not let her think she is going to have Shanna forever.”

Whiskey took a sip and put the flask away into his pocket. “Living with Angie and Bebe will be good for her. Those girls know how to live. Our Calico will be back.” He gave his daughter a nudge. “Let’s go back inside before your husband comes looking for you. Dee, about that girl you hit, you need me to talk to Tramp?”

Dee stopped short. “No! I can handle her. She has some problems with being pregnant and I don’t want family feuds. I like Jack’s sister Kima a lot too. I’m fine, really.”

Whiskey held out his hand to her. “She fucks with you. Her ol’ man is answering to me. Damn, I guess she’d be answering to your husband. This married shit is going to take me a little while to get used to, Deedee.” 

“I’m glad you like Jack, daddy. Mommy would have, too, don’t you think?”

“I do like him,” he admits. “Just wish he was in my club,” he added with a chuckle. “Your mother would be very happy. Deedee, can you give me a few minutes out here?”

Dee nodded, gave her father’s arm a squeeze, then slipped back into the house, leaving Whiskey to look out at the water. Dee found Jack, who raised an inquiring eyebrow up at her. She only smiled and blew him a kiss. 

T
he next few days flew by as the girls got settled into Kima’s Aunt Anya’s house. Rebel had to stop too many fights between Violet and her daughters. Finally, he took her home when she refused to stop meddling. Everything afterwards went well, and the girls seemed to love the house.

Penny called Dee once to tell her how much she liked living by the ocean and how nice Thrash was to her. She loved to tattoo and seemed content for now. Dee soon returned to work with Willie. Both planned for the coming holidays. Jack refused to go anywhere Jo was, so it was hard to plan anything. Life was finally as close to as normal as it could be.

N
ailz sat back in his chair in front of Doctor Allan. He was on his way home from work. Jo was with the twins and he had wanted to speak to the doctor alone. Jo agreed it was better that way, too.

“Nailz, it’s good to see you again,” said Dr. Allan, holding out her hand, which Nailz shook.

“Let’s get to the point,” Nailz suggested less than politely. “What the hell’s wrong with my wife? She has mood swings. She’s driving our family crazy. I can’t take much more.”

Dr. Allan flipped through a folder, then met his eyes. “Frankly, Jo never should have gotten pregnant so soon after the twins. I am sure you know that. Neither her body nor her brain were ready to have another child so soon. Jo doesn’t know why she’s behaving this way. I’m not a psychiatrist, and Jo refuses to see one. I’ve seen this before and, as my Aunt Jean refers to it, it’s the baby blues. She’s probably on the right track. I can’t fix Jo. All we can do is wait for this baby to be born. I know you didn’t see me at the wedding since you both left, but I was watching Jo. I watched her face go from happy to angry at the drop of a hat. I am very concerned about her.” Her fingers lightly tapped the folder on her desk.

“Jo is going to be like this until the baby is born? Moody and flying into rages?” Nailz’ hands balled up into fists.

“I don’t know what to tell you to do except bear with it. Jo knows she is pushing you and everyone else. I urged her to talk to a doctor I know, but she refuses. I think it has to do with the Parkers finding out. I’m glad you have a friend helping out with the twins. My Aunt will help out as much as she can, too.” The doctor couldn’t seem to look him in the eye.

Nailz sighed. “I think Jean is part of the fucking problem, excuse my French, but she is pampering Jo and it’s causing issues with her other children. I don’t want that shit. Jo has to pull herself together.” Nailz shut his eyes trying to think of what else could be done.

“Nailz, don’t take Jean away from Jo. She might get worse,” the doctor warned. “Give her lots of understanding and love. Fresh air and relaxation would be good, too. I wish I could give you something more, but I can’t. There is nothing more I can do except see her once a month. I think toward the end months, we may have to give her bed-rest. Jo needs to eat right, too. Unless she will agree to see a psychiatrist, I don’t know what else to tell you.”

Nailz growled, unable to contain his frustration.

The doctor sighed. “Walk away when she gets to be too much,” she went on. “Fighting with her won’t help. You can try to point out to her that she is acting badly, but I’m not sure it will matter to her. She was quite upset with me today when I saw her.” Dr. Allan stood up, letting Nailz know she was finished talking.

“Thanks Doc,” he said, deflated. “Maybe my parents can talk to her. We’re doing Thanksgiving there since she doesn’t get along with Kima, Jack, or Dee anymore. I hope she goes back to my old Jo.” Nailz stood up.

The Doctor smiled sadly at him. “I would suggest after this baby that Jo gets on birth control right away. Good luck, Nailz.”

Nailz walked out of the office and got into his truck and sat there. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to make it with Jo being crazy until the spring. He hoped to God that he or Jo wouldn’t do anything they would regret. It was going to be a long, cold winter.

E
lena was feeding Rhiannon dinner when the phone rang. She got up to answer it. “Hello?”

“Elena, stop your shit and let me see you,” said Thrash through the line, clearly drunk off his ass. “You’re mine! Not that fucking Whiskey’s! I’m coming over and showing you how much
mine
you are!”

She couldn’t believe she had to deal with this. “Thrash, I don’t want to talk to you,” she told him tiredly. “I’ve got nothing to say to you. Don’t you understand that I don’t want you? Leave me the hell alone!”

With that, she hung up. She went to check if the door was locked when the phone rang again. She let the answering machine pick it up. She listened to Thrash yelling something about having Hunter’s blessing before the machine cut him off. Exhausted, she cleaned up the baby and got her to bed, then double-checked every window in the house to make sure they were all secure.
Better safe than sorry
, Elena reasoned to herself. Amy had the night off and Elena was glad she wasn’t there to hear this shit.

The phone rang yet again, and again she refused to answer it. Thrash’s voice filled the answering machine. “You’re a traitor to Hunter’s memory,” he shouted. “Fucking Whiskey. He’s not in Bound for Hell! You wouldn’t fuck me, but you sure as hell went for a vice president fast enough, you bitch. You
owe
me. I’ll be down there to collect!” The call cut off.

She sat perfectly still on the couch, alone with her thoughts and fears. What the hell didn’t Thrash understand about the word “no”? She got up and unlocked the gun cabinet to take a pistol out. She didn’t feel safe now, even with Dragon her Doberman guarding her.
This is such bullshit,
she griped to herself. She couldn’t call Thorn because he’d go up against Thrash.

The phone rang again, startling her. She let it go … until she heard Whiskey’s voice on the machine.

She grabbed it. “Whiskey?”

“Elena? What’s wrong, darlin’?”

His smooth voice gave her instant comfort, but she didn’t know what to say and started to cry instead.

“Darlin’? Listen, I can be there in a few hours. Just tell me what’s wrong. Elena, talk to me.”

“Thrash keeps calling,” she explained through her sobs, “and I’m sitting here with a gun in my lap, hoping he doesn’t come here. He’s drunk and he has some crazy idea that Hunter wanted him to be my ol’ man. I don’t know what to do. I can’t call Thorn. Thrash is too much of a fighter and you know Thorn will want to call him out. I don’t want to live scared.”

“Elena, I’m gonna make a call. I want you to sit right there and wait for me to call you back. I promise you that Thrash is not coming to your house. Trust me.”

She took a deep breath. “I trust you, Whiskey. I don’t want problems hanging over me.”

“No, darlin’, it’s gonna be all good. I want you to let Mad Jack and Dee sit with you, though. I’m going to call Jack now. You okay with that?” Whiskey asked.

“Yes, but … what if they can’t come?”

“I’ll send my South Jersey boys up to sit with you until I can get there. I’m coming up now. I’ve had enough of Thrash. You don’t belong to him and I don’t give a fuck what Hunter the almighty wanted. You got room for a few of my guys?” Whiskey inquired.

“Yes, of course,” she answered. “I have two spare bedrooms, and there’s a room with four bunks off the office in the barn with a bathroom. It’s heated, too. You’re really coming here for me?” Elena was shocked.

Whiskey could hear how shaken she was. “Elena, you mean something to me. I take care of the people who matter. Now, I need to make a few calls. As soon as I can, I’ll call you, but let Jack and Dee in. Got me?”

“Yes, I’ll let Jack and Dee in. If they don’t come, you will send someone else. Thank you.” She began to cry again, unable to control it.

“No tears, Elena.” His voice was stern but calming. She had to take comfort in his strength. “When you cry, it makes me crazy because I know you don’t cry. Now hang up, wash your face, and wait for me to call you back. Can you do that for me?”

She took another deep breath, wiping away the tears. “Yes. I’ll do that and … and you make your calls. Thank you.”

She hung up the phone and went straight to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, she saw how shattered she looked. Whiskey was correct; she never cried. She carefully washed her face, pressing a cold washcloth over her eyes. It felt remarkably relieving.

The sound of her ringing phone filled the house again. She ran to get it, wondering if Whiskey had news. “Hello?”

“Elena, when I call, you pick up the fucking phone,” came Thrash’s voice, even more drunk and slurred than before. “Don’t you dare ignore my calls! I was there for you when you had Rhiannon. I’ve always been there for you! I told you, I’ve been in love with you for years. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Already, Elena’s hands were shaking. She could barely hold the phone. “I told you to back off,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’ve warned you and you don’t hear me. I was nice about it, but if you come here, I swear to God, I’ll put a bullet in you, Thrash. Leave me alone. I don’t owe you anything. I thought we were friends, and now you want payment? Fuck you, motherfucker. You come here and try me.”

“Fucking Whiskey now? You’re nothing but a slut. Cock teaser. YOU LED ME ON FOR YEARS,” he hollered into the phone.

Her voice cold and steady, she replied, “I never asked you for anything and you know that. Everyone else knows it. Go sleep your drunkenness off Thrash, but don’t come here. Our friendship is done.”

She hung the phone up and rolled a joint. She wondered if Thrash was up in Ocean Cove. Usually she smoked on the porch, but tonight she’d sit by an open window, just in case he was in Ocean View.

The phone rang yet again. The machine picked it up. “Bitch, pick up the phone. Do you think I’m gonna let you play me like China did? Elena, you’re going to regret this. Pick up the fucking phone now. You fucking slut, think I don’t know about Whiskey? I want what you OWE me. You can spread those legs for me bitch.”

The call cut off. Pushing away the sound of Thrash’s yelling, she let the joint calm her down until she saw headlights approaching. She held her hand on the gun until she recognized that it was Dee and Mad Jack. Relief settled in.

She opened the door as the two came inside. Dee hugged Elena and whispered, “My dad will take care of everything. We’re here for you.”

Jack looked at the woman who had been there for him so many times in his life. He didn’t like seeing her red eyes and knew she had cried. “Elena, you know Thorn is going to be angry you didn’t call him, right?”

“Of course I know, Jack. I can’t tell him and neither can you. I know Thrash can take Thorn. I don’t know what to do anymore about Thrash.” She took a toke off the joint and offered it to Jack and Dee, who calmly passed on it.

The phone rang. Elena looked at it again, letting it go to the answering machine.

“Elena, enough of this shit. Hunter wanted us together, I have a letter saying you’re mine. Fucking cunt, you’re owned. I’m coming down there tomorrow and I’ll show you what Hunter wanted. You’re fucking lucky I’ll even take you still, but Hunter was my brother. What a slut you—”

Jack grabbed the phone as Elena and Dee looked on.

“Thrash, Mad Jack here,” he stated. “Stay the fuck away from Elena. She’s under Nefarious’ protection. Take it up with Darko.”

He hung up the phone and hit the saved messages. Dee and Elena sat there holding hands as the messages replayed. Mad Jack’s face reflected how angry he was.

He looked at Elena and shook his head. “He might be drunk, but he has no excuse to be calling you like this. I really need to call Darko. Fucking Bound for Hell.” Jack paced while the phone rang again. He grabbed it and growled, “What?”

Mercifully, Whiskey was on the other end, not Thrash. “Glad you’re there, Jack,” he said. “He’s still calling, I assume?”

“Yeah. He’s drunk though, and he isn’t acting like the Thrash I know. He’s fucked up. Left some messages you’ll wanna hear.” Jack took a sip from his beer. “I need to call Darko. Whiskey, I gotta tell him about this. We all love Elena.”