The Wooden Chair (40 page)

I’ll call Karl.
She was convinced he wouldn’t let her down.

Chapter 41

Geneva, Late Summer 1963

The drive home in light traffic and Leini’s decision to call Karl helped to calm her.

On her way through the countryside, she took pleasure in the scenery of the familiar roads bordered by vineyards and the lazy sway of ripening corn fields.

As she approached the house, she caught a glimpse of Hannele, Nutella by her side, and Yigal’s pram in the shade of the outcropping roof. Leini parked and inside went straight to the phone to put through a call to Karl, estimating a good half hour’s wait for the connection to go through.

In the doorway to the terrace, Leini watched Hannele in the inflatable swimming pool emptying pail after pail of water on Nutella. Docile, the dog submitted to the treatment, soaking Hannele in a cascade of water as she shook her body, twitching from head to tail. As the droplets rained over her, Hannele broke into peals of laughter so joyful and carefree Leini laughed along with her. As she heard her, Hannele stopped her play and glanced in Leini’s direction.

“Mami, my Mami.” When she spotted Leini, Hannele scrabbled out of the pool, water streaming from her hair. She came hurtling across the lawn and into Leini’s open arms.

Leini hugged her, twirling around. Hannele squealed and giggled, legs wrapped around Leini’s waist. Cuddling her close, she planted smacking kisses all over her face. “I love you, my little Hannele.”

“Love you, my little Mami.”

“You’re a monkey, always repeating after me.”

With Hannele in her arms, she sauntered to the pram to peer at Yigal. He slept sprawled on his back, cheeks rosy, silver blond hair frizzy from the afternoon heat.

“Hannele, sweetie, Mami’s expecting a phone call. Why don’t you take Nutella’s towel and dry her. Poor dog is all wet. I’m sure Marita will help you.” She smiled at the young girl, her blond hair in pigtails, a scattering of freckles across her cheeks and upturned nose. “Won’t you, Marita?”

Hannele slid down Leini’s body, grabbed a multicolored towel off a lawn chair and set to working on Nutella.

The phone rang. Leini rushed inside and grabbed the receiver as she sat by the table.

The connection to Helsinki was bad. Karl’s voice kept fading, and the voices from another conversation interfered. From fragmented sentences, Leini gathered Karl was coming to Geneva to attend the semiannual antique exhibitions and auctions.

“I’ll arrive next Wednesday and stay over the weekend.”

“Karl, I’m happy. We miss you. I have some questions I hope you can answer.”

“What questions? Oh well, I guess it will have to wait till I get there. I’m impatient to see you, Bill and the children. I’ll call you when I’m in Geneva.”

A week later, Hannele’s hand in hers, Yigal on her free arm, Leini stood in the driveway as Bill drove up to the house. Her lips stretched to a wide grin, joy making somersaults inside as Karl left the car. Wordless, too moved to speak, she hugged him, cheek pressed against his.

“Welcome,” she whispered, joy and love tight in her throat.

Together with Bill, she showed Karl the guest room. He played with the children and the dog in the backyard, pushing Hannele on a swing, throwing sticks for Nutella. While Bill gave the children their bath, Leini took Karl on a tour of the house and yard, wanting him to see it when the light was good. They had dinner in the kitchen; candles flickered on the table and the kitchen counter although it wasn’t quite dark yet.

After the meal, cognac snifter in hand, Karl sprawled in one of the deep easy chairs on the mezzanine, and Leini half reclined in a beanbag, a tall glass of mineral water within easy reach. Through the second-story window, the yard, fields and forest beyond were mere outlines in the faint light. Leini gazed at the sliver of a moon hanging in the sky. With a hand on Karl’s arm, she fixed him with a steady stare.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Before he could comment, she continued, “I need answers to some questions. You’re the only one left who can shed some light on this issue.”

“That’s my Leini…no lead-in, but jump right in.”

“Yes, because I’d disappear in preambles and lose my courage. You have the explanations, at least I hope so.” For an instant she closed her eyes. After a deep breath, she spoke. “Mira’s behavior toward me was abominable, and that’s an understatement. She mistreated me—all my life—in so many ways.”

At the mention of Mira’s name, Karl’s head came up with a jerk, his eyes resting on Leini.

“I know for a fact all of you, Papi, Grandpa and Grandma Britta knew about her behavior. What puzzles me is why none of you interfered? Only Papi dared take my side, for what good it did. Why did you let her abuse me, neglect me emotionally, belittle me? You kept telling me how much you loved me, but where were you, Karl, and my grandparents when she treated me with scorn, called me all kinds of ugly names, didn’t talk to me sometimes for weeks on end? Why didn’t anybody stop her?” Leini took a gulp from her drink, swirling the cool water to soothe her mouth, scorched as if touched by a flame.

“Oh, Leini. What can I say?”

“You can tell me the truth. Were you all cowards or just indifferent? Or is there a good reason for why you let her do as she pleased with me?”

For an instant Karl rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He stared at the dark window. When he turned to gaze at Leini, his look was frank, eyes dark with what she read as pain.

“I’m not surprised you’re asking.” His voice was coarse. Before he spoke again he cleared his throat. “I knew you were going to bring this up one day. I can understand that you need explanations.”

“You bet I need explanations.”
And they will put my mind to rest. It would be unbearable to know those I trusted betrayed me.

“You’re right, all of us knew what was going on. We talked about it often between us. “What are we going to do about Mira? How are we going to stop her from being so cruel to Leini?” She was loving and nurturing with Samy, so we kept wondering why
she was so abominable with you.

“Both Grandpa and Grandma Britta tried to talk to her. I know of at least one incidence when Grandpa told her he’d hire a lawyer to remove you from her care if she didn’t change her ways. As a result, Grandpa was forbidden so see you.” He took a sip from his snifter. “Don’t you remember the time when, for several months, Grandpa didn’t visit your home, and you weren’t allowed to go to your grandparents’?”

Eyes half-closed, she sorted out memories. Then she nodded. “Sure. Mira told me Grandpa was traveling. He was away for a long time. But there was no trip, is that what you’re saying?”

“That’s right. When he opposed Mira, Grandpa became
persona non grata.
Grandma Britta fetched you from school so she could spend time with you, but she didn’t visit you at home either. Solidarity to Grandpa, you know. At some point during this period, Grandma tried to talk to Mira. The result was Mira forbid Grandma Britta to see you, as well.”

Leini was taking it all in. She had vague recollections of times when she didn’t see either grandparent. At the time, Mira’s explanations sounded plausible, before she grew wise to Mira’s flimsy attitude to truth. Suddenly, she gasped and she opened eyes wide.

“Oh! It’s coming to me now. A few days after my first eye operation, Mira fired the night nurse Grandpa had paid to watch over me. Grandpa said he was going to call her back. They argued; Mira threatened that if he did, he wouldn’t see me again.” She stopped talking, still hearing Mira’s shrill voice, Grandpa’s baritone tremulous with emotion. “I remember how I kept hoping he wouldn’t ask the nurse back because I couldn’t stand not to see him.” Her hand flew to her hair to twine a lock.

“I’m glad you remember so you don’t have to take my word for it. I assure you, Leini, your grandparents did what they thought was in your best interest. They had two choices: either they confronted Mira with her behavior or they kept quiet. They chose not to say anything so they could stay close to you. Right or wrong, it was a decision dictated by their love for you. I know they reasoned that if they didn’t antagonize Mira, they could better protect you.” Karl sighed. “During the times they weren’t allowed to see you, I visited them often to bring news about you. They suffered from knowing what you had to endure. We all did.” Turning his head, he narrowed his eyes, staring at the new moon. “As to Papi…”

She put a hand on his arm. “I can’t hold Papi accountable. He did what he could to protect me from Mira. When I was with him, I felt good about myself; nothing seemed very bad. I always knew he loved me.

“Once when he tried to leave Mira, she faked a suicide to make him return. Papi wanted peace at any price. I’ve talked to him on a couple of occasions, so I know he was exhausted to a point where he had neither the strength nor the will to fight her. And he lacked the courage to leave her.”

Karl nodded. “All of what you’re saying is true.” He passed a hand over his face as if to wipe away the memories of a sick relationship. “It’s so very sad. Your father is a kind, warmhearted man. When he was younger, he used to be a lot of fun, had a great sense of humor. Life with Mira has changed him. He’s lost some of the oomph that used to make him such great company. Seems to me he’s resigned to live out his life on the sidelines, a detached observer, not the enthusiastic participant he was years ago.”

She fumbled in the pockets of her slacks, found a tissue and dabbed at tears coursing down her cheeks.
Papi used to be so full of life and laughter, generous and spontaneous. I didn’t see him change, but one day I noticed he was different.
Leini heaved a deep sigh. “When this part of my past intruded on me not long ago, I thought Grandpa and Grandpa Britta didn’t do anything to stop Mira from mistreating me. I can see now did the best they could.” She smiled. “I’m relieved to know they acted from love.

“Papi chose to live with Mira. I always wanted him to leave, wanted him to take me with him and run. I still wish he’d left her. Poor Papi, he pays a hefty price for the choice he made.” She pulled so hard on the lock of hair between her fingers she winced from the searing pain in her scalp. “It’s cost me, too.” With a shudder of unease, like the current of cold air passing through her, she gazed at Karl. “That leaves you.” Sensing that he was about to speak, she held up a hand. “No, wait. You were a frequent visitor in our home. You knew about Mira’s terrible behavior toward me. I still remember the time you came to talk to me after my operation. You knew how she was with me, but what did you do? Why didn’t you make her stop?”

He leaned close, taking her hand in a firm grip. “Every opportunity I had, I confronted her about the way she treated you. Her reaction was the same as to your grandparents; she was furious, tried to forbid me to visit, refused to let me have any contact with you.” He shrugged. “Mira had no hold on me—she couldn’t frighten or intimidate me. I saw you anyway. I came to see you in the daytime when I knew she was at work. I phoned. I met you after school.

“As I said, Mira had no hold on me, but I had no leverage either. Although I’m her brother I’m sure she would have cut me off without a moment’s hesitation. I couldn’t stop her behavior or make her change. And I couldn’t remove you from her. Like you, I tried talking to Papi about leaving her, but not having been married myself I could only respect the dynamics of Mira’s and his relationship, his reasons for staying with her. And of course there was Samy. He was an important factor in your father’s decision.” Again he wiped his face with the flat of a hand. “I couldn’t love you more if you were my own daughter.”

The catch in his voice didn’t escape her.

“I mean it, Leini. Maybe I could have done more to protect you. I really don’t know.” He rose, pulling her into his arms, holding her in a tender embrace. “Please believe me; if I could have made things better for you, I would have. I swear I would.”

Leini stood in the circle of his arms, cheek pressed against his, inhaling the familiar scent of cigar and lemon in his cologne. Her gratitude was profound—she couldn’t have survived Mira’s cruelty and neglect without the love of these people. Without them she would have gone over the edge. Her heart lifted. They hadn’t betrayed her, none of them.

She kissed Karl first on one cheek, then the other. A smile stretched her lips. “Thank you for talking to me. It’s helped me realize you all did the best you could. Together you protected me against being too damaged. Every one of you was the shield I needed against Mira. I’ll hold on to that knowledge.” She chuckled. “I’ve heard it said: ‘What won’t kill me, will strengthen me.’
Maybe my past will serve to make me stronger. I hope I’ll be a better person for it, one day when I grow up.”

“Are you going to be all right?”

“Yes, Karl. My therapist wants me to forgive Mira. Knowing that you all loved me, my feelings towards her are softening. Your love is going to help me forgive her.” She rubbed her cheek against his. “I have so much in my life that makes me happy, so I want to forgive her, leave it all behind me.”
I do, and I will.

Chapter 42

Geneva and Helsinki, November 1996

Leaning into the pillows against the headboard, Leini’s gaze was lost in the sunbathed landscape outside the bedroom window. The birch leaves danced and swirled in the gusting wind, the proud trunk shimmering silvery as it reached skyward. Alone in the warmth of her bed, her mind wandered to the years gone by, the passage of time having dealt her great joy in Hannele and Yigal, now adults, both successful in their chosen professions. A smile sat on her lips at the thought of her daughter’s career in social services with an international organization, and her Yigal living in Finland, a CEO in a large multi-national company.

Now in her fifties, Leini enjoyed retirement from Schurr & Co. after a great career as European supervisor for their employee assistance program. Her love for Bill was vibrant, maybe calmer, more mature, but certainly as strong as in their early days together.
I’m truly blessed.