There Once Were Stars (5 page)

“You think he’s from the olden days?” I ask, holding a laugh in. If Xara only knew I’d seen the Outsider up close, she’d never stop talking about him.

“Of course not,” she rolls her eyes again. “Don’t you get it? He’s from another dome. Maybe they still cast their rule-breakers to the outside still. Isn’t it freaky? We could be housing a murderer for all we know?”

“But I thought you said his skin was melting off?” I tease.

“You can’t believe everything you hear,” she laughs.

“All that matters is he was contained,” Jak says, seriously. “The Order looks out for us.”

I shift uncomfortably. The Order sure did a number to the Outsider, maybe he was a criminal.

“So, what’s the plan?” Xara changes the subject.

“I thought we could visit the museum?” Jak offers. “I hear they have an excellent exhibit on—”

“Ugh, Jak, no,” Xara scrunches up her nose. “Nat is eighteen now, we can use her to do something fun.”

“But it’s an exhibit on the Order.” Jak’s light blue eyes light up. “There’s even a piece on the Director and the Delegates.”

Jak has always been somewhat obsessed with the Director. Since he was a child, he’s dreamed about becoming a Delegate and assisting in the management of our dome.

“I’ve got it!” Xara squeals, ignoring Jak. “Let’s go to a movie, a grown-up one!”

“Yes!” I shout back. An older couple across the street stops and looks at us. Xara and I giggle quietly, then link arms with Jak, and make our way to the theater.

I’ve never been allowed into the adult side of the theater. Only cartoons and family shows are available to those seventeen and under. All romance and adventure are saved for eighteen and above. Mom once told me there used to be scary movies, but they were removed because they didn’t contribute to the dome’s motto for peace.

Along the path to the theater, posters of a woman’s face are stuck to a few light posts with the word
Missing
printed below. Posters like this used to pop up often when I was a child, but the Order fined those who put them up. Missing posters don’t contribute to peace in the dome—they strum up feelings of suspicion and mistrust. But everyone knows no one can really go missing in the dome. If someone disappears, it means they want to start a new life.

Beyond the row of posters, the theater comes into view. I’ve always appreciated the style of the movie theater building. Its old architecture resembles photos of the old world, and the elaborate carvings on the pillars at the entrance have always captivated me. But everything seems different now that I’m older, and can enter the other side of the theater. It’s as if the mystery has finally peeled away, and all that’s left is carved stone.

I scan my ID badge at the door and it clicks open, allowing Xara and Jak to sneak in behind me. It’s not long before they’re eighteen, so we may as well all enjoy the perks together. We grab our snacks then sneak down the dark aisle, taking our seats together in a middle row. Friends forever. Nothing can come between us.

The screen lights up, showing the original logo of the dome spinning in the center. This is the last place the old logo can be found: a circle enclosing two hands holding a heart. The true presentation of the motto: Peace. Love. Order.
Dome
was only added by our current Director, as a way to remind everyone of why we do what we do: everything for the dome. The words scroll across the bottom of the screen as the Director appears, sitting at a table with the Delegates. His message begins.

“I want to take a moment from my busy schedule to thank the people of Dome 1618 for another excellent year. As we carry on with the job given to us by our forefathers, it reminds me how lucky we are to have a dome that understands the importance of all aspects to our motto. We all must keep these words sacred if we are to survive into the future. Peace, love, and order to you all.”

The screen goes black and I slump back into my seat, ready for the show. But half an hour later I’m bored by the slow build to romance, and the main character’s selfless commitment to the people of his society. I almost choke on my drink; I’ve heard this rhetoric in all the children’s movies, but on a more immature level. What on earth made me think that movies would be better now that I’m eighteen?

I reach for popcorn and awkwardly brush against Jak’s fingers. I start to laugh and then see his face redden, so I quickly withdraw my hand to the arm of my seat. Xara shushes me at the same time and I feel ridiculous. Being eighteen makes me feel less like an adult and more like a child. I shift in my seat, wondering if there is some way I can sneak out.

Jak reaches over and covers my hand with his, sending tingles up my arm. My fingers separate, allowing his to intertwine, and it feels warm and safe. I’ve always thought of him as a brother, nothing more. Why not? He’s the quiet one of our trio, always watching and listening, never fighting for the spotlight. Yet, he’s good at everything he does, and everyone loves him. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer, but why does this feel so awkward?

Jak’s scent drifts over, a mix of soap and ink, remnants of his parents’ print shop in the business district where he spends his time after school. It’s such a different smell from yesterday, when the Outsider leaned in close to me. His bronzed skin and dark hair are the complete opposite of Jak’s blonde hair and pale skin. Jak is confident, but the Outsider has something more, a self-assurance that was borderline arrogant. But he wasn’t like that toward me, only the Order, even after they gave him a beating. Is he brave or just plain stupid? My stomach flutters as a smile crosses my lips. Whatever he is, it’s exciting to have something new happen inside the dome.

I shift in my seat again, this time moving my hand out from under Jak’s hold, unable to stop thinking about the Outsider. Xara nudges me and give me a surprised look as she mouths the word,
Ohmigosh!
She finds the oddest words and phrases and throws them around like everyone knows what she’s talking about. Her mother is the Curator at the Hall of Records and is always making Xara study books from the past. That’s where Xara hopes to work one day. I picture her sitting at her desk telling people what
buzzkills
they all are.

I know she’s thinking about Jak and me, but my cheeks are flushed from thinking about the Outsider. When the movie finally ends and we get up to leave, Jak grabs my hand again. But it’s not the same feeling as before. I feel a sudden urge to be alone.

“We can go to your museum now,” Xara says, then, turning, she notices our hands interlocked, “unless you two wanted to go alone?”

I could kill Xara right now. Jak’s face reddens and I’m pretty sure I can see sweat break out above his upper lip. I abruptly let go of his hand for the second time in the last hour.

“Sorry,” I say. “I have to get ready for work.” It’s half-true.

“What?” Xara asks, her lips trying to hold back a smirk as she looks between Jak and me. “Are you sure you have to go?”

“Those toilets won’t scrub themselves.” I force a laugh, hoping no one notices. Jak offers a smile, making his dimples appear. My face heats, and for a second I wish I’d never let go of his hand. I wave to my friends and leave. How unexpected my afternoon has become.

Work drags on for two weeks. Every day I get home grumpier than I was the day before, and tonight is no different. I haven’t actually scrubbed any toilets—not sure who’s job that is—but I swear, if I have to keep polishing windows, I’m going to lose my mind. I’ve been promoted, up to the Order offices on Floors 5 & 6, but it’s still the same duty.

One thing I’ve done since moving up was try to find the Outsider again, but that quickly came to a dead-end. I thought they might have him holed up in one of their offices, but no such luck. I mentioned it to Xara a couple of times, but she looked at me like I was crazy for dwelling on it. If only I could tell her about the photo.

I attribute another aspect of my grumpiness to the fact I can’t return to my clearing. That was my one sacred place, and now it’s been taken from me. I only made it back once, and found every piece of my hollow tree had been hauled away, and the clearing was now home to rows of saplings, ready to grow into great trees and provide oxygen inside the dome. It’s totally unfair.

But the horror of what could happen if that handprint is traced to me still haunts me at night. Grandmother hasn’t mentioned it again, and the Order hasn’t come banging our door down; but honestly, how long can it take to run fingerprints? I’ve tried asking Jak, but without giving him all the background information on what happened with the Outsider, I can’t seem to come up with a reason that doesn’t make me look guilty of something. I know I’m in the system—every resident is when they start at the Learning Institute—eventually my name has to show up.

In an attempt to pretend everything is normal, I’ve spent a lot of time in my bedroom pretending to be busy, or sleeping. Mostly, I read Mom’s notebook.

My friends have gotten busier since I’ve withdrawn. Xara was accepted into a permanent position at the Hall of Records last week. I am a little jealous, I’ll admit; she’s known her place in the dome all along. Jak took an administrative position at the Axis a couple of days after we held hands at the movies; he claims he’s already working on a special project. I’m the last one left; I have nowhere to go.

I drop my head to my hands, as I sit on the edge of my bed. If my parents were still alive, would I have become a scientist like them? Would they be disappointed if they could see me now, the daughter of the Greyes scientists, unable to decide what she wants to do with her life? The sound of a knock snaps me from my self-pity.

“Come in.”

Grandfather enters with two cups of tea. “I thought you could use this.” He smiles. “You seem a little off lately.”

I look up into his eyes as I sit up in bed. Even my curtains are drawn, to hide the depressing view of the Outer Forest. I want to tell him everything from the beginning, about the two Outsiders and the handprint. I want to tell him about working at the Axis and B2, and how I know he spent time down there. I want to tell him I know about what really happened to Mom and Dad and pour my heart out to the one who has sacrificed more than the rest of us. Instead, I look down at the tea, now resting between my hands and I say, “I’m fine.”

“You know something, Nat,” he says, sitting on the foot of my bed that creaks under his weight. His thin white hair is carefully combed off his face, so his round eyes are left unconcealed. “Eighteen is a hard age. It marks so many changes. You leave the comforts of school and enter the work force. Your friends move on in different directions as they figure out their lives, and you might wonder if you’ll grow apart. Some people take the entire two years they’re allowed, to try to find what will be their permanent contribution to the dome. It’s a time of uncertainty, a time when you can easily be influenced.” He rests his hand on mine.

I look back up into his eyes, which are surrounded by lines that reveal his age. I do not want to lie to the man who has raised me for half of my life, but telling him the truth might break him. “I promise I won’t screw up anymore, Grandfather. I’ve caused enough trouble.”

His eyebrows push together as he shakes his head. “What do you know of trouble at your age?”

“Grandmother told me about what happened to you after Mom and Dad died.”

“Your parents were heroes. People forget that when they’re scared.”

“I know. People still recognize the name. Everyone thought they symbolized the chance for an Outer colony.”

Grandfather sighs. “My little Nat, there’s so much you don’t know. So much I’d like to tell you, but you’re still a kid. That colony was the most important thing to your parents. They would have never left that day had they known they wouldn’t return … ” his voice breaks.

Tears flood my eyes. I lose control.

“I need to tell you something,” I confess. “I used to hide in the Outer Forest. But they found my clearing, and I can’t go back.” I look back down into my tea.

“I know you have your secrets,” he says, winking. “We all do.”

“I stopped because I thought they caught me. I swear, Grandfather, I only went there to see the outside. It reminds me of Mom and Dad.”

“If the Order suspected you, they would have come and asked all of us about it,” Grandfather says. “It doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about.”

He stands from my bed, and walks to my window, opening the curtains. The curve of the dome appears above us. “Your mother’s favorite things were the stars that shone through the dome. Did you know that?”

I nod. Her grandmother had told her tales of how the skies were once blanketed in stars, before the clouds of the Cleansing War. Only in the last few decades have the clouds begun to part, revealing the hidden skies behind them. At night, their glitter peeks out in clusters through the thick, black dust settled on the outside of the top of our dome. I can only imagine what a sky blanketed in stars would look like.

Grandfather notices the tiny photo on my nightstand. “Where on earth did you get this?” I jump from bed, in an attempt to stop him, but he picks it up before I can reach him. He flips it over to the other side, reading the back, and his hand begins to tremble.

“You don’t understand.” Panic makes my mouth so dry, I feel like I have to force each syllable out. “I saw the Outsider before they did. There were two of them. One came over to me from the outside of the dome—I think he wanted to tell me something. But he ran when the Order came. The other one had this photo of me. How is that possible?”

“I don’t know,” his voice comes out barely louder than a whisper. Then silence. I shift from one foot to the next, wishing he would stop staring at the photo and just say something to me. Anything.

“Could you go out for a bit? I need to speak with Grandmother.” I don’t move. This was not what I expected. He looks up at me, his eyes glossy and pleading. “Will you do this, please? For me?”

My words spill out quickly. “I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to lie about the other Outsider. I should have told you sooner. I should have reported it to the Order.”