Thirty-Eight Days (34 page)

"Whether we do it now or tomorrow or next week, I want you to be my first, Nolan Parker," she breathed out and the look in her eyes told him she was speaking the truth.

"Are you sure you want me?" he asked, already regretting the question as it rolled off his tongue. He wanted her to want him and not anyone else. Noel wanted Clara to be sure. It wasn’t just her virginity. It was them
making love for the first time together.

"The question is, Noel, do you want me?" Her eyes stared at his chest. Noel could see she was scared he would say no. He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest, above his heart. Just like the night of the engagement party.

"You have no idea how much I want you, Clara. I want you so damn much it hurts. But you need to be sure you want this with me. This is your first time. I won’t be mad if you change your mind right now. I want you to be sure that this is something you won’t regret."

If it were any other woman, he wouldn’t try to change her mind, but it was Clara, and he fell in love with her. He was going to do this her way. The right way. She needed to be loved and treasured and he was going to prove his love for her.

"I want you to make love to me," she whispered without taking her eyes off his. He wasn't sure if he could refuse her demand.

"Clara, are you sure you're ready? Because once we start, I don't think I'm going be able to stop," he said truthfully as he caressed her cheek.

"I don't want you to stop."

Fuck.

“But are—" he tried to argue, but she stopped him by placing her other hand on his cheek.

"Stop over thinking this, Noel. I want this with you. I want you to make love to me, right here, right now. Only you, Noel, it’s
always
meant to be you."

I should refuse her, but I can’t. She makes me so damn weak. I didn’t deserve to be, but I want to be her goddamn first.

“Okay,” he breathed out. “But your first time isn’t going to be on this couch. I’m going to take you to bed and do this right. You deserve to be worshipped, and this couch is not the place. I will make love to you, Clara, because you deserve it to be gentle and loving. This isn’t a quick fuck in your sheets. I want this to last, and I want to make love to you the proper way.” As his lips crashed into hers, he knew he was a goner.

He was going to be her first. The thought sent his heart racing. Clara circled her arms around his neck. He supported her weight by placing his arms around her back as he stood up from the couch, Clara wrapping her legs tight around him. Each approving moan from Clara as he kissed the curve of her neck made him delirious. He wasn’t sure if they were going to make it to Clara’s bed. Noel removed his lips from hers and looked into her eyes. The need to be the first to say
“
I love you” hit him hard. But not yet; she would think it was just a line, but he had no doubt about it. As he reached Clara’s bedroom door, he stopped, removed his lips from her, and looked directly in her eyes.

“Clara, I need to hear it one more time. I want you to be sure,” he said softly. Noel felt her reassuring squeeze on his shoulders and she gave him a loving smile.

“I’m sure, Noel. I have never wanted anyone like I have with you. It’s you. It’ll always be you. Make love to me, please,” she whispered. He took one more look at
his
Clara.

I will never love another woman like I love her. In my arms, I hold my forever.

A
fter asking her if she was sure, he opened her bedroom door, ensuring his eyes never left hers. If he saw fear or indecision, he’d instantly stop himself. He had a conscience; he couldn’t just take her virginity if she wasn’t ready. He’d blame himself until his very last breath if she ended up regretting him as her first. He’d have to pull away the moment she had second thoughts.

Noel stepped into her bedroom, the moonlight giving the room just enough brightness. Clara was in his arms and her legs wrapped tight around him. Walking over to the edge of her bed, he placed her gently in the middle of it. Clara quickly propped herself on her elbows to see what he was doing. He needed a minute. He needed to get his head wrapped around the idea that he would really be making love to Clara. This wasn’t a one-night stand or a quick fuck in her sheets.

It was Noel who started to back down first. The idea of him not being worthy enough to be her first infested his thoughts, and he knew Clara could tell he was second-guessing. She sat herself up and reached out for him, took his shirt in her hands, and lowered him on to the bed with her, bringing his lips to hers.

All Clara breathed out was, “It’s you, Noel,” and he went weak. He threw any voice of reason out the window the moment she spoke those words.

As he leaned her back down on the pillows of her bed, his hands trailed up her thighs, but didn’t go any further than the length of her dress. He heard the hitch in her breathing. His resolve was breaking. He couldn’t make himself rush this. He wanted this slow and savoured. He wanted to memorise every inch of Clara; he loved the paleness of her skin and the pinkness of her plump lips. When Clara’s head rested on the pillows, he looked into her golden-brown eyes and got lost. He was finding it harder to keep those three simple words in. They demanded to be said out loud, but not just yet; it was too soon.

A sweet smile spread across her face, and he needed to kiss those lips. When his lips touched hers, it felt new to him. He wasn’t used to soft and gentle, yet it gave him more pleasure and satisfaction than anything he had ever felt before. Noel trailed his lips along Clara’s jawline, down her neck, until he reached her collarbone and placed a lingering kiss on her skin. Clara’s breathing heaved as she dug her nails into his back. He skimmed his hands on her hips and up the side of her body until he felt the zipper. Clara tugged at his hem; he moved his hands off her body and helped her unbutton his shirt, and peeled it off his body before throwing it behind him.

Clara’s hands ran along every defined line of his chest until she wrapped her hands around his back and brought him down to her, their lips meeting. Noel’s right hand found Clara’s dress zipper again. He paused, breaking their contact, and looked right into her eyes. The tenderness in her gaze made him realise just how happy he would be if he got to keep Clara forever.

A soft smile appeared on her face, Clara’s hand resting on his cheek, caressing him. Noel held his breath as he tugged down Clara’s zipper until it reached the end, his eyes never leaving hers. He slid the purple chiffon dress off her body, Clara lifting her hips slightly off the bed so he could remove the fabric off her skin. He swore all breath fled his lungs. She was so breathtakingly beautiful that he edged himself off the bed.

He wasn’t sure if it was because he was taking in the image of her creamy skin against the black lingerie she wore under her dress, or that it was becoming
real
between them. Clara had chosen him, and his heart had chosen her. Every inch of him wanted her, but his head seemed to make it difficult for him. Clara’s hand brushed his as she took her dress from him and flung it on the floor next to the bed. 

“Noel, I want this, please,” she softly begged. Her words settled into his heart, marking him for eternity. No other woman would ever claim him like she did.

Noel had feared that he would hurt her, but that wasn’t the case. As he looked at Clara he knew one thing: he shouldn’t be afraid of breaking her heart; it was the complete opposite. He couldn’t let her be the one to break them. He had to cement the idea of them and make sure he fought for her. He’d make sure tonight would be unforgettable.

His first time had been awkward and fireless. Noel promised himself that Clara’s first time would be passionate and gentle. He loved her, and he would pour his heart and soul into hers. As his lips met hers, Noel leaned her back onto the bed, knowing that it would be the last time he’d ever doubt his love for Clara or the idea of being with her.

Clara’s silent gasp gave him the opportunity for his tongue to dance with hers as her hands tangled in his hair. Pulling back, he kissed and trailed his lips along her jaw. The moment he kissed the soft spot below her neck she moaned out and wrapped her legs around him tightly. He couldn’t help himself as he grinded against her.

“Oh, God,” Clara softly moaned, sending his heart aching. Noel let out a groan as she bucked against him. The fact that he was making her moan in pleasure made him possessive. He wanted to be the only man to give her such pleasure, the only man to hear her moan and see her eyes flutter closed as she gasped.

Clara’s hands pushed his head into her the curve of her neck. Pulling away from her soft skin, he looked up to see desire consume her eyes. He hoped one day love would fill them, too. For now, he’d make love to her tenderly, and hope tonight he’d mark her heart the way she marked his.

I love you, Clara.

Waking up to the warm morning sunshine, Noel looked down and smiled, contentment running through his body. He had never been so happy after being with a woman. Last night was a first for him, too. He had never made love to a woman the way he did with Clara, soft and gentle, completely ignoring his own pleasure and desires. Not that he was left unsatisfied; he was beyond it, but he put Clara’s needs before his own. Never had he been with a woman where he stayed the night and wanted more.

As he gazed down at her, Clara stirred in his hold, and her shallow breathing made his insides stir. There was nothing more right in the world than having her in his arms. But then there was a sense of wrongness to have her also. It wasn’t like Clara had a boyfriend and she was cheating on him. It was the thought of his best friend that gave Noel the feeling of how wrong it all was. He promised Alex he wouldn’t touch Clara, but that was before he saw her, got to know her, and then fell in love with her.

Gently, he removed Clara’s arm off his chest and slid his arms from under her. As he stood up from the bed, he looked at her. To think the woman he’d eventually fall in love with, the woman worthy of moving mountains and draining the seas of its water, had been in front of him all this time.

Bending down, he kissed Clara’s head. She held his life and his heart in her hands. He scanned the room until he found his pants lying on the floor towards the edge of the bed. He picked them up, placed both legs through, and buttoned them. He let them hang loosely off his hips. Turning, he saw Clara still asleep before he made his way to the bedroom door. He gently closed her door behind him and walked to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Noel started to take bites out of his apple as he poured the pancake batter into the buttered pan. A faint ringing sound caught his attention. He turned to find Clara’s phone flashing on the dining table. Noel walked over to see Alex’s picture on the screen as it vibrated. Guilt took a swing right in his gut. The contents of his stomach churned and he felt lightheaded. Noel considered letting it ring out, but he knew Alex would either call the apartment or him to find out why Clara wasn’t answering. Picking up Clara’s phone, he answered it.