Thirty-Eight Days (36 page)

“Boston, my career, my apartment, and all my possessions mean nothing to me. Not when she’s here, Rob. I’m
in
love with Clara. That cupcake-loving brunette changed me, and she’s worth what I have to go through with Alex. I didn’t mean to betray him, but it happened, and I’m
not
sorry for it. I tried to stay away, but I couldn’t fight it anymore. I love Clara, and all I want to do is make her happy,” Noel said with complete honesty. He knew it’d be easier to convince Rob of his love for Clara than Alex. They still had a few weeks together to work it out.

“Then you better be there for her if Alex should ever disown her. He’s done everything to protect her and provide for her. Get ready to face some serious backlash, Noel. But you don’t have to worry about me telling Alex. I said I’d protect her, but Clara has to live her own life; I would never go revealing all her secrets to him.” Rob drained the rest of his beer then placed the empty glass on the dark oak pub counter.

“
D
o you have any idea how early in the morning it is? You must know. Why am I here?” Stevie whined as she placed a Gloria Jean’s takeout cup in Clara's hands. “Got you an English Breakfast tea because only old nannas are up this early.” Clara stepped aside and welcomed Stevie into her apartment.

“It’s ten in the morning, Stevie,” Clara stated. Noel had informed her of her brother’s call, and it unnerved her. However, he assured her that Alex didn't know, and that somewhat calmed her nerves.

“Uni’s finished for the year! I didn’t even get up this early to attend my marketing lectures, so you, my friend, are lucky that I’m here. Now where is Saint Annie?”

“Not here.”

“I see that. The only time you’d ever not invite Annie to be with us is if we both hate Annie’s guts. Which I find hard to believe since you like her, so that can’t be it. It must have to do with se—” Stevie paused.

Clara bit her lip in anxiousness.

“I think I need to sit down,” Stevie said before she turned and made her way to the couch, mindlessly sitting down on it. Stevie looked like she was a world away. After Noel left, Clara realised the extent of what had happened. She needed to talk to someone, and Stevie was her answer. Clara breathed out and sat in the armchair next to Stevie. For someone who just woke up, Stevie was unbelievably flawless. She wore little makeup and her blonde hair was straight as paper, blessed with such natural beauty. Clara, however, had to shower out her tangled curls to get them under control.

“You really did have sex with Noel?” Stevie asked, looking up at her.

“Um, well, yes. I did,” Clara said with a hesitant smile. She wasn’t sure what Stevie would think of her for “putting out” on the first date.

I am not a virgin anymore. I really did have sex with Noel last night.

“So you really were a virgin before him?” Stevie asked again as she took a sip from her takeout cup. All Clara did was nod.

Stevie was quite for a moment. “Thank fuck for that!” she yelled, placing her takeout cup on the coffee table, then throwing her hands in the air. Clara looked at Stevie, bewildered.

“I thought your first time was with Darren. I didn’t want to ask you straight out if you were or not. Some girls rebound hard, and I knew that wasn’t you, but you were off the grid after that night so I couldn’t be sure.”

“I dodged a bullet with Darren, and looking back, I’m glad we never had sex or anything close.”

Stevie nodded and seemed to understand what she was saying. Clara was happy she didn’t call her a slut for sleeping with Noel on the first date. If she didn’t realise she loved Noel, she wouldn’t have made love with him. It wasn’t sex for Clara. It was more. She felt like she reached the emotional level she wanted with him.

“Clara, don’t find me intrusive, but I have to ask… did you use protection?” The concern was clear on Stevie’s face, and Clara gave her a reassuring smile.

“I’m on the pill.” Noel revealed to her that he was clean—his last check being before he left for Melbourne—and never had sex without a condom.

Stevie relaxed at Clara’s reply. She started taking the pill four months ago, when she had planned to be with Darren.

“I can’t believe you had sex… with Noel. It wasn’t a one-night stand, was it? Please tell me he didn’t hump and dump you?”

Stevie hastily got off the couch and stood in front of Clara. She looked overcome with a rage that Clara didn’t understand. There were only a few words that would calm Stevie.

“I’m in love him, Stevie.” Those words seemed to silence her. Clara watched Stevie walk into the kitchen and start to open up cupboards. “What are you doing?” Clara asked as she stood up from her seat and walked to the kitchen.

“I knew the moment you looked at him at the diving boards that you would,” Stevie explained as she searched through the bottom cupboards near the fridge.

“Found you!” Stevie stood up with a bottle of tequila in her hand. Clara had completely forgotten she had it in her kitchen cupboards.

“How did you know I had that? Isn’t it a little early?” Clara asked as she watched Stevie bring out a shot glass.

“You told me once. It’s happy hour somewhere in this world!” Stevie said with a nod. With the bottle of tequila and shot glass in hand, Stevie walked back into the lounge room. Clara swore she saw sadness in Stevie’s eyes as she walked past.

“Do you want some lemon and salt?”

“No, I need this straight. Now sit. I want to talk to you about something that you might relate to,” Stevie said as she sat down on the floor, crossed her legs, and poured herself a shot. Sighing, Stevie placed the bottle on the coffee table.

“Clara, I’m happy that your first time was with someone you love,” Stevie said. Giving her a tight smile, Clara sat next to her. Stevie threw her head back as she downed the shot, her face scrunching and her eyes closed as she recovered from the burning of the tequila. Clara had never seen Stevie in this state before.

“Stevie, you shouldn’t drink. You don’t have to tell me anything.”

“No! I need to drink in order to tell you this story. If I don’t, I won’t be strong enough, and I’ve spent two years trying to forget, but it never leaves me,” Stevie said as she stared at her second shot for a moment before downing it, too. Clara started to worry; Stevie had never been like this, and Clara started to feel guilty.

“Stevie, please stop. You don’t need to tell me anything. I’ve never seen you so upset. You’re scaring me. Two is enough,” Clara pleaded as she reached for the bottle, but Stevie swiped it away from her reach. Clara sighed, knowing she couldn’t change Stevie’s mind.

“When I finish telling you, please call Jarred to take me home. Don’t worry about taking care of me. Can I trust you to follow these instructions?” Stevie asked as she downed another shot. Clara could see Stevie start to struggle. She stood up, walked to the kitchen, and fetched a glass of water, placing it on the coffee table, and sat back next to her.

“You know you can trust me,” Clara replied.

Stevie took a deep breath in before releasing it. “Before I took my gap year after my high school graduation, I went to Thailand for Schoolies. I couldn’t wait to get away from Jarred, my stepmother, and my father. The girl I was bunking with was getting it on with some Scottish guy, and I couldn’t get my things. So I took a stroll along the beach next to the resort and
he
was there.

“Tall, dark brown hair, and these blue, almost silver eyes. I swear he was beautiful. I knew he was Australian; I could tell by his accent. We only ever knew each other by our first names, and we didn’t talk about the lives we lived back home. That week in Thailand, we spent every minute together. And then it ended the moment I woke up and lost my virginity to a stranger that I didn’t even really know. I didn’t know his last name, or where he was from; I didn’t even know a single thing about him. I lost my virginity to a stranger during Schoolies.” Clara’s heart ached for her. Stevie’s eyes filled with tears and she downed another shot, her fourth one to be exact.

“I think I loved him, too, but I’m not sure. I had no idea that at the end of that week, I’d be waking up in the sheets of a stranger’s villa bed, dressing myself quietly and quickly, and feeling like a cheap whore. So you’re lucky, Clara. Your first time wasn’t a one-night stand with a stranger you’ll never see again. I went home that day. I didn’t even tell him goodbye. I just vanished and hoped he’d forget me, but I
never
forgot. I don’t think I stopped crying, even after I landed back in Melbourne. Jarred was the one to pick me up and let me stay in his apartment. I couldn’t face my father, because he told me not to go. So I did the only thing I could think of to erase the whole experience; I went and lived with my mother in London for a year before I came home.” Stevie set the shot glass down and rested her head against the coffee table.

Clara moved closer and wrapped her arms around Stevie and held her. She had never seen Stevie so destroyed before, and it made her heart break. Clara knew Noel. She loved him and even if they only had for now, they’d always have longer than what Stevie ever had.

“Clara.” Stevie looked up to Clara and wiped her teary eyes.

“Promise me you won’t be like me?” she asked, and Clara gave her a tight smile.

“Like you, Stevie?”

“Just don’t fear love, because if you do it’ll show you a side that you could never imagine. Trust me, I’ve been on that side of it, and it leaves you empty and lonely. I’ve spent the last two years wondering what I missed out on; I chose to leave him, but it was for the best. I was scared of a proper goodbye. As much as I may seem to hate Jarred, he brought me back, and I’ll never be able to thank him enough. He called me every day, and even visited me in London. He’s my brother, blood or no blood. Tell Noel how you feel and just love him. Promise me this, please?”

Clara could see the emptiness and regret in Stevie’s eyes and she nodded. Clara had always thought Stevie was invincible, but it turns out she held her own secrets and demons.

“Can you please call Jarred for me, Clara?” Stevie began to slur, her eyes starting to droop. Clara helped Stevie to her feet and placed her on the couch, Stevie resting her head on the cushion. Walking to the linen closet, Clara grabbed a blanket and headed over to the couch, covering her best friend with it.

She walked to the kitchen counter and grabbed her phone. Clara scrolled through her contacts until she reached Jarred’s name. Taking a deep breath, she dialled his number. It didn’t take long before he answered.

“Clara, hey! How’s it going?” Her heart warmed at the sound of his voice. He was truly an amazing person to be there for Stevie.

“Jarred, it’s Stevie. She’s at my place. I tried to stop her, but she said she needed the alcohol to—”

“She told you about Thailand?”

“Yes.”

“Keep her there, Clara. I’ll be over in five,” Jarred said, and then the line went dead. Clara looked over at Stevie and she knew she didn’t want to live the rest of her life in regret. She’d tell Noel just how much she loved him; rejection or not, she couldn’t live her life wondering what she left behind.

Opening the door, a worried version of the happy Jarred she was so used to stood before her. Jarred offered Clara a small smile before he walked into her apartment and immediately went to Stevie. She could tell he drove straight over; his faded track pants and hoodie told her so. Clara stood a few feet away from the couch and watched as Jarred crouched over Stevie. When he seemed happy that she was okay, he turned and walked towards Clara.

“I’m sorry, Jarred. I told her to stop, but she didn’t listen to me. I didn’t know what she wanted to tell me would be so… sad.” Clara’s eyes started to sting. She never wanted to see Stevie that emotionally broken again.

“It’s okay, Clara. Don’t get upset. Stevie’s kept it bottled up for so long that it’s just been eating her alive. What has she told you?” Jarred asked as they walked into the kitchen, Jarred sitting on a barstool. Clara turned on the kettle and looked up at him.

“She just told me that she met a guy in Thailand while on Schoolies, spent the week with him, lost her virginity to him, and then she left. Does Annie know?”