Thirty-One and a Half Regrets (2 page)

“Oh.” The band around my chest loosened. “Okay.”

“We can either close early or you can man the shop. Do you have any landscaping jobs tomorrow?”

I shook my head. “We’re in the middle of one right now, but the job site’s bound to be muddy with all the rain we’ve had the last couple of days. Besides, Bruce Wayne might not even be back to work tomorrow. He’s still nursin’ that cold.”

She put her hand on her hip. “Are you sure he’s sick? Maybe he’s just off getting high with his friends.”

“Bruce Wayne hasn’t gotten high since he started working for me.”

“That you know of.”

“You don’t know him like I do, Violet.” The resentment reared its head in me, ugly and large, and there was more attitude in my voice than intended. I was tired of her always criticizing my friend and thinking the worst of him. “He loves his job and would never do anything to jeopardize that.”

She started sweeping again. “Okay … if you say so.” She paused for a second. “Do you still want to go trick-or-treating with us? Mike’s still coming,” she grumbled. “I thought about talking him out of it, but he enjoys traipsing around the neighborhood more than I do.”

She had asked me over a week ago, but since then things had gotten more and more intense between us. But I loved trick-or-treating with the kids. Maybe because Momma had never let me and Violet do it. “Yeah, I’d love to see the kids in their costumes.”

“So why don’t we just close early and you can come over and help? I’ll make a pot of chili.”

I smiled. “I’d like that.” I’d been going to Violet’s for Halloween since Ashley was a few months old and my sister dressed her as an Anne Geddes flower.

Her back straightened and she offered me a stiff smile. “Then we’re good.”

We were far from good, but we’d do for now.

I woke up the next day to my phone ringing on my nightstand. A dusky gray light filtered around my curtains, so I knew it was morning, just another overcast and dreary one.

My little dog, Muffy, whimpered when I leaned over to grab the phone. The display read 6:58 a.m., but no name appeared, just a phone number. “Hello?” I answered, still groggy.

“Rose, this is David.”

David Moore? “What’s wrong?” I shot upright, fear rushing through my veins. David was Bruce Wayne’s lifelong best friend and roommate. And also a notorious pot smoker who didn’t believe in getting out of bed before noon. So why was he calling me before seven in the morning?

“Nothin’s wrong. I’m just callin’ to tell you that Bruce Wayne can’t make it in again today.”

“Why are you calling and not Bruce Wayne?”

“Uh.” He paused. “He’s been up all night coughing and he finally got to sleep.”

“What are you doing up so early?”

“Who could sleep with all that coughing?”

Something didn’t feel right. “Has he gone to the doctor yet? He really needs to see one, David. I know he doesn’t have insurance, so tell him the nursery will pay for it.”

“Okay … I will.”

“He’s still not going to go, is he?”

He didn’t answer.

“Is he running a fever?”

“Well, yeah.”

“He could have bronchitis or pneumonia. He probably needs antibiotics.”

“Okay!” David sounded annoyed. “I’ll tell him.”

“David, you really need—”

“I said I’d tell him! I gotta go.” He hung up before I could say anything else.

I threw on a fluffy robe and a pair of flip-flops and took Muffy outside. My next door neighbor, Heidi Joy, waddled out her front door while I watched Muffy relieve herself on her favorite bush.

“Oh, hi, Rose.” She said, tucking her hair behind her ear self-consciously then cinching the belt of her robe over her protruding belly.

“How are you feeling?”

“Oh, you know. Tired. Same as always.” She came around the side of her house toward her trash cans. “Andy’s been picking up a lot more hours to help cover expenses, which is great, but it means he hasn’t been around as much to help me.” She spread her feet apart and leaned over to pick up a metal trash can.

I hurried over to her. “Heidi Joy, let help you with that.” I gently pushed her to the side and picked up the heavy can. “What were you thinking, trying to pick this up? You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Tears filled her eyes. “Andy already left and forgot to carry the cans out. I can’t let all these dirty diapers sit outside another week.”

I put the can down and pulled her into an awkward hug. “Then let me help you. We’re friends, right? Friends help each other. You’ve helped me plenty of times with Muffy.”

“I guess.”

I smiled. “Then
ask
me, okay?”

“Okay.”

But I knew she wouldn’t. She was too stubborn. I just needed to remember to offer my help more.

I carted her cans out to the curb and Miss Mildred, my eighty-two-year-old neighbor across the street, came out her front door wearing a housedress and curlers in her hair.

“Good morning, Miss Mildred.”

“There ain’t nothing good about a morning when women are strutting around in skimpy clothes only hours after the sun has risen.”

I sighed. My robe hit mid-thigh. “Would you rather I wait until lunch time to prance around in my skimpy clothes?”

A scowl puckered her face. “Don’t you get fresh with me, young lady. Your mother’s probably rolling over in her grave right now.”

I shook my head. I had no doubts about that, but I was sure some much bigger grievances were causing all that rolling around.

As I suspected, the job site was too muddy for more work, which was just as well. Our next task was to build a three-foot-tall retaining wall. And while I could have done it on my own, it would save time if Bruce Wayne was around to help me cart the stones.

I spent the rest of the morning at two other houses, creating landscaping plans and promising estimates within the next couple of days. The last house belonged to Mary Louise Milligan, one of Violet’s friends from high school. “I saw what you did at the Murphy’s. I loved the fountain, but I really have my heart set on a water garden. A little pond in the back with some of those big-eyed fish. You know the ones. What are they called?” She tilted her head to the side, a perplexed look on her face.

“Koi?”

“Yeah, them.”

We’d never made a water garden before, but I was thinking about putting one in my own backyard and had been studying the logistics of building one. It didn’t seem difficult. “Sure, we can definitely do that.”

Her face lit up with happiness and she started listing what else she wanted, ticking off each item with a finger. “I want those flowers that float on the water and a waterfall. And also some rocks stacked around to make it look artsy like Betsy’s pond.” Her hands made a somewhat pornographic shape. “Only nicer.” Her eyes widened as she nodded to stress this point.

I watched her as she continued to mime phallic shapes that were nicer than Betsy’s. “Okay,” I finally said, jotting down notes.

My head felt cloudy and my vision got fuzzy. I cringed at the familiar sensation, preparing for the awkwardness that would hit within a few seconds.

“You’re going to have a baby.”

Her eyes flew open, her face turning pale. “How did you know that?”

I forced a smile. “How could I not, Mary Louise? You’ve got a glow that’s hard to miss.” But that wasn’t the reason. Ever since I was a little girl, I’d known things about people. Things I shouldn’t have known. The information came from visions. I couldn’t control my ability, and the visions were always for the people next to me. They were usually mundane, about an unexpected visit from an in-law or the color so-and-so was going to paint her bedroom. But they were almost always awkward, especially since only a few people knew about them.

She twisted her hands in front of her, biting her lip. “But my husband Brian doesn’t know yet.”

“He’s going to be thrilled, Mary Louise.”

“How can you be so sure?”

I’d seen his bright smile when she told him in my vision. “I just am.”

When I finished my drawings—although I couldn’t bring myself to draw the anatomical rock structure—I checked the time and realized I only had ten minutes to get back downtown and meet my best friend, Neely Kate, for lunch at Merilee’s Café .

I parked my truck a block from the county courthouse where she worked and was putting change in the parking meter when I heard someone say my name from behind me.

“Rose.”

I spun around, my heart in my throat. “Mason.”

He stopped in front of me, wearing a dress coat over his grey suit. The wind blew his dark blond hair around his face. His cheeks were tinged with pink, making his hazel irises even greener than usual. I hadn’t seen him in almost two weeks, and I was surprised by how nervous I felt.

“How are you?”

“Good. And you?” I brushed my hair back, suddenly very aware of how bad I had to look. I didn’t have on any makeup and my hair was in a messy ponytail. The knees of my jeans were muddy from the first job site and my tan sweater had a coffee stain.

Why on earth was I worried about how I looked around Mason? I’d never thought about it before. But I knew why. The last time we saw each other, we’d admitted that our feelings were more than just friendly. I’d told Mason I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet, that I was working with Jonah to figure out who I was now. Mason had said he’d wait.

His eyes softened. “I miss you, Rose.”

“I miss you too.” But I still wasn’t ready, and I could see in his eyes that he knew that. “I’m meeting Neely Kate for lunch at Merilee’s. Would you care to join us?”

He looked over his shoulder at the café. “I’d love to, but I’m meeting my friend Jeff for a working lunch. Can I get a rain check?”

“Do you really have another lunch date or are you avoiding me?”

“Rose.” Several people walked by and Mason grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to the entrance of an antique shop. “I’m not avoiding you. I’m giving you space. Do you really think I don’t want to be with you?”

I stared at the button on his coat before looking up into his eyes. “No. But I’m worried you’ll get tired of waiting for me.”

He released a soft laugh. “It’s been thirteen days since I last saw you. I’ve been waiting for you since the day you ran into me at the courthouse in July. Thirteen days is nothing.”

My heart stuttered. He’d been counting days. “Not that day. You couldn’t stand me that day.” I’d showed up late for jury duty and literally ran into Mason, making him drop his papers all over the hallway. He’d been furious.

“Okay, maybe not that day, but you definitely piqued my interest. It was soon after that.”

“But I was with Joe.”

“I know. And I’d never put you in a difficult situation, which is why I kept my feelings to myself.”

“If you’ve really waited that long, aren’t you frustrated?”

“No.” His eyes burned with an intensity I’d never seen before. “I know what I want, and I’m a patient man.”

My face flushed at his bluntness. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“But I hate not seeing you. Can’t we just be friends until I’m ready?”

His face lit up. “Of course. I just wanted to give you some time. And now that my feelings are out in the open, I’m sure I’ll do a terrible job of keeping them to myself.”

“I’m making great progress with Jonah.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“I’m considering selling my birth mother’s farm, but Jonah thinks I should go visit it first.” Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “Would you be interested in going out there with me?”

His mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Oh, you don’t have to. It’s just that Violet and I aren’t on the best terms right now and I don’t want to go alone, although I’m sure that Neely Kate—”

“Rose, yes.” His voice softened. “I want to come.”

“You do?”

“Of course. I’m honored that I’m the one you asked. Do you want to go this weekend?”

I nodded. “If you can swing it.”

“How about Sunday? I know you work at the nursery on Saturday.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” But my stomach was in knots thinking about it.

“Great, we’ll work out the details later in the week.”

“Okay.” I paused. “But can we see each other before Sunday?” Now that we’d established he wasn’t avoiding me, I was eager to spend more time with him. Mason was one of the few people who made me feel at home with myself.

He laughed. “I have court tomorrow, but the case should be wrapped up by the end of the day. How about lunch on Thursday? At Merilee’s. You can have Neely Kate join us if you’d like.”

My chest warmed. “Lunch on Thursday. Sounds good.”

Mason pulled me into a hug, lingering for a moment before dropping his arms. “It was good seeing you, Rose.” He smiled then walked down the sidewalk to his car.

Neely Kate was already at a table when I walked into the restaurant. Her long blonde hair was curled and very full, and she was wearing a burnt orange cardigan sweater with rhinestones around the collar and a jack-o-lantern pin. Underneath was a beige button-down collared blouse. I did a double-take. I had never seen her in any shade of beige before. Neely Kate believed in living large and that included bright colors and bling. I sat down and shrugged off my sweater, feeling happier than I had in weeks.

“Does the smile on your face have anything to do with the fact I saw you talking to the Fenton County assistant DA just now?”

I blushed. “Maybe.”

“And…?”

“And what?”

“Are you going to go out with him or what?”

“I’m still not ready, Neely Kate. I’m working through things with Jonah.”

“Rose.” Disappointment was heavy in her voice. “Are you sure you’re not just holding back because you’re scared?”

She had a point. I’d let fear hold me back from living my life until Momma’s death. Then as I waited to be murdered or arrested for her murder, I worked my way through a list of twenty-eight things I still wanted to experience. That list changed my life. But I knew it wasn’t fear holding me back this time. I hadn’t sorted me out yet. “No. I promise. I just want to take it slow and Mason understands that. If it makes you feel any better, we’re having lunch on Thursday and he’s going with me to visit my birth mother’s farm on Sunday.”