This Broken Beautiful Thing (10 page)

He
 jumps over me then lies on top of the blanket next to me, he places his head on the pillow so that we are on the same eye level as he says, “You’re right…girls usually listen to what I say. I know you’re not like them…” he lifts a piece of my hair and places it behind my ear.

“Y
ou are so much better baby, I know I should have listened and I don’t know why you are so self-conscious about your body. You think I’m hot? Babe you’re gorgeous…even with that little baby bump. I know you’re a stubborn girl and you like getting your way just like I do but you need to know, as long as you stay here? I will be the one that protects you, you need to get used to how the men of this club treat their woman and how the woman listen.” I try to interrupt him but he placed his hand over my mouth.

“We just want what’s best for you Harley and I know your father is wrapped around your
little finger so he doesn’t care whether you listen to him or not when your mind is set on something. That’s why from now on while you are here, you
will
listen to me. Yes, I like my woman to do as I say and even though I’ve been sweet and kind to you, don’t take that as who I am…because it’s not! I do things how I want and when I want and I want you and that baby safe. If I want to look at you while you’re getting changed, so be it, I will never hurt you and I will always want what’s best for you. Ever since the accident, I have this overwhelming need to keep you both safe and protected, you need to know I am a very possessive man that’s why your father knows you are safe with me.  I fucking rage when people don’t do what they’re told…you don’t want to see me angry Harley.” Jace says in a harsher tone.

I’m left speechless, I’ve only ever met the happy loving Jace, I’ve never seen him so uptight and serious, it scares me. This boldness was what I expected to come from Jace from the moment I saw him. This attitude fits him, he’s a big masculi
ne guy covered in tattoos, he’s beautiful yet bad and it's fucking scary! I guess I just warmed up to him being a big cuddly teddy bear but I was wrong…so wrong.

“Do you understand what I ju
st said?” he asks me, I nod and close my eyes. I’m not used to being told what to do by a man, I guess by no one really, my mother wasn’t exactly the strict type and well... I wasn’t around my father long enough for him to actually parent. It’s not like I was a troubled mischievous child, so there wasn’t really a need for me to be lectured. I don’t appreciate the way Jace is belittling me but I’m too scared to say or do anything else besides act like he isn’t there and hopefully he’ll leave. Caleb and his friends used to make sure no one bothered me so I’ve kind of had a sheltered life up until now…guess that’s all going to change.

Jace kisses my forehead and rubs my baby bump saying goodnight to the baby before he leaves the room putting off the light. I find it kind of cute apart from the fact that he went all cave man on me minutes before.

I lay there for a few more minutes listening to the bass from the music playing in the bar downstairs as it vibrates off the floor and windows. I find the sound comforting and fall into a deep sleep.

CHAPTER 9

I wake up a few hours later when someone’s arm wraps around me pulling me into their
warm bare chest. I immediately know its Jace when he places his warm hand on my belly under my shirt and rubs it gently. I hear him let out a deep breath as I place my hand over his, he gently laces our fingers together. If it was any other person I’d be very uncomfortable by this gesture but with Jace I feel content and safe.

“I’m sorry if I scared you.” He says in a gruff voice against my ear sending chills down my spine, I
can tell he just got out of the shower by smelling his minty breath and his fresh body wash that still lingers on his skin. I don’t respond just nod my head. 
What am I supposed to say? It’s okay? Because that wasn’t okay! He scared me…

“I
want you and the baby safe… I know you haven't seen me so serious before but it’s who I am, I’m not the sweet guy you thought I was and I needed you to know that even if you bring out the child in me, I'm not that person and I never will be Harley. I will never hurt you intentionally but I am dangerous and if anyone fucks with what’s mine I
will
destroy them. I get what I want and all I want is to keep you guys safe, so if scaring you into listening to me does the job? I’ll do it. I apologize for watching you but you I didn’t think it was such a big deal. I’ve been thinking about how you looked under those clothes since I met you and I needed to see, I want you to trust me to look and not touch. I was just pissed off because I’ve never been chastised for wanting to look before and you caught me off guard.” He explains.

I’m still stuck on the part where he said he’s been thinking abou
t how I looked under my clothes, eventually I respond, “I'm not as open with people looking at my body as other girls are, especially now that my body is… changing. Caleb is the only guy that’s ever seen me naked, I trust you Jace but I don’t feel comfortable with you looking…” I whisper.

I feel him
move as he sits up and leans on his elbow looking down at me as he asks in shock, “You’ve only had sex with one guy?” I turn to look at him.

“Of course!
I’ve been with him for four years. I haven’t been single long enough to have sex with other guys…it’s always been Caleb.” I say looking at him. I can't see him fully in the dark but I can see his glistening eyes.

“Damn Harley you
are
just as innocent as you look, doing the same guy for four years? Don’t it get boring?” he asks seriously and I start laughing.

"Jace!
”  I slap his arm. “Haven’t you ever been in a relationship? Technically I wasn’t
doing
him for four years, I lost my virginity to him at sixteen and no it wasn’t boring. It was beautiful and exciting, wouldn’t you prefer to be with the same girl you know hasn’t been around rather than sleep with random chicks that have already been taken by the whole club?” I cringe outwardly and he chuckles.

"Being intimate with
one person isn’t always boring, it’s exhilarating and it makes you connect on a whole other level, you teach each other new things and show them what you like.” I laugh and shake my head. “Okay…. I guess for you it’s easy to pick up chicks but imagine not having to go through the effort of finding a girl to hook up with because you already have someone at home waiting for you and no one else?” I look at him as he watches me intently taking in what I’m saying. I can't believe I’m being this open with him, usually I’m too shy to talk about this stuff but he already knows my secrets and I can open up so easily with him.

He laughs and falls back down on the bed rest
ing his head on his folded arms as he looks up to the ceiling. I lie on my stomach and look at him as he talks.

"I’ve never really thought of it
like that before. You are right though... I would rather be with someone that hasn’t been with the entire club and isn’t sleeping with other guys while hooking up with me. Fuck… that just grosses me out! Look what you’ve done, now every time I look at those girls I’m going to wonder how many guys she’s hooked up with.” He lets out a deep breath then settles back into bed and continues. “I’ve never dated girls before, it’s always been about sex and I’m clean I swear, I always get checked out. Yeah it’s not really an effort for me to get the girls, I mean the sluts here so desperately want to be part of this club that they will do anything to get in but they don’t realize that the guys will never make any of them their old lady. I get what you're saying though about coming home to someone waiting just for you, I guess that would be nice.” He says softly as he smiles deep in thought. “I still can’t believe you’ve only ever had sex with that asshole, aren’t you the least bit interested in feeling how it is with someone else? You know everyone is different and has their own...techniques? Holy shit! Is he the only guy you’ve seen naked?  You must have done other stuff with guys before him at least?” he asks excitedly as if hearing this from a girl is news to him.

I laugh,
thankful the room is dark because I’m blushing so hard my cheeks are burning red.

“Gosh… I can’t believe I’m talking about this with you Jace…Ye
s! He’s the only guy I’ve seen naked and no I never touched anyone before Caleb. I never really thought about having sex with anyone else while I was with him but now... I suppose? I don’t know!” I cover my face full of embarrassment. “I guess now that we’re not together I wonder how it would be with someone else and maybe he felt the same, that’s why he slept with Ashley, maybe he was thinking the same thing? I
was
the only girl he’s ever had sex with too. Shit…maybe he
was
bored with me, I never thought of that! Shit…argh…whatever…” I shake my head trying to get the images out of my mind.

“
No, don’t think like that, it’s his loss remember that. He’s missing out on a good thing babe. You are really innocent but that’s good! I like that.” he says as he pulls me closer to him and kisses my head, I wrap my arm over his ripped stomach and rest my head on his chest.

“Okay enough talk about me, how about you, how many chicks have you had sex with? How old where you your first time?” I change the topic.

“My first time? Well I don’t remember much because I was so pissed but I think I was fifteen. I looked much older though and I got a fake ID, snuck into a club with my mates. I don’t know her name but she was
much
older than I, could’ve been in her thirty's, late twenty’s? Anyways it was in the back of her car, I don’t think it was that great because I don’t remember all the details and I can't even tell you how many chicks I’ve been with since because I really lost count.” He chuckles as if this pleases him and I laugh.

“You hoe! You lost your virginity to an old woman in a car! How is that even possible?” I say shocked
. When Caleb and I had sex it was always in a bed under the covers and that was because he liked it that way. Of course I knew people had sex all over the place but it never happened to me.

“Baby? You’ve never had sex in a car? Have you ever done it in any other place beside a bed?” he asks amused by my lack of knowledge.

“This conversation is over! This is getting
way
too detailed." I quickly turn around and lie on the pillow out of his grasp too embarrassed by my inexperience to reply to his question.

“Fuck! You’ve only ever had sex in a bed
?” he teases and chuckles as he leans his chin on my shoulder looking down at me. “What is wrong with that kid? You still have so much to learn babe.” He says as he cuddles me.

“Yeah okay…I’ve only ever done it in a bed. He was always
afraid people would catch a glimpse of me and he didn’t want them to see me that way so we would always wait till we were home in a bed. Maybe I do still have a lot to experience and learn…I don’t know, I really don’t think anyone's going to want a single mother Jace so I don’t think I will have much to worry about in that department.” I laugh it off even though the thought of being alone the rest of my life hurts.

"Babe you are crazy! Y
ou’re beautiful and the fact that you doing this all on your own just shows what an amazing person you are. There’s going to be plenty of guys after for you.” He whispers back rubbing my tummy.

“Thanks….Jace?”

“Yeah baby?” he says in that sexy deep voice.

“Remember earlier today you said you
’re going to be sleeping next to me even when I move to the other room?” I ask him thinking about it.

“Yeah and I am, you don’t have a say in this Harley.” He says with the same tone he used earlier on me.

“I know and I don’t mind, I enjoy knowing you’re next to me when I sleep but I wanted to know… why do you want to sleep by me?” I ask him.

“Harley…when you are
next to me I can sleep easy. You see, the things I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt haunt me and before you came I was unable to sleep more than three hours without waking up from the dreams. I see their faces in my sleep so I prefer no sleep at all. I basically lived on energy drinks and coffee because of the insomnia. That first night you were here, your father told me to keep you in my room because he didn’t want any of the other guys trying something with you before he introduced you to them. To be honest, I didn’t want to sleep next to you but when Grimm tells you to do something - you do it, no questions asked. I was afraid of waking up during one of my dreams and scared I might frighten you, I didn’t want you to see that. That night was the first night I’ve had a full nights rest in years and I knew it was because I had you beside me. That’s why I’m going to be sleeping next to you from now on. I don’t want to have those dreams Harley, I hate them.” He says sadly with a muffled voice as if he’s close to tears. I slowly turn around to face him and sure enough his eyes are shiny. Those dreams must be terrible for it to affect him this way.

“Don’t cry Jace, I would love to be your personal teddy bear
and keep the nightmares away. Everyone needs a teddy at least once in their life and I’ll be yours. You can sleep next to me as long as you want, I’ll always be here for you. Kind of like that girlfriend I told you about, the one at home waiting for you? Yeah well I’ll be that chick... but without the sex. Whenever you want a cuddle or to sleep…I'll be waiting for you and only you Jacey.” I say as I wipe away the tears he’s clearly trying to hide from me, I give both of his cheeks a kiss then I pull him so that his head leans against my chest, I wrap my arms around his big body and run my hand through his damp silky long hair rest my hand over the heavy arm resting over my stomach..

He wraps his arm tighter around
me as I hear him let out a shaky breath., “Thank you for being my teddy babe. You’re already my girl, you just don’t know it yet but if you call me Jacey around the boys I will tickle you till you pee yourself and that goes for telling anyone I cried too. You’re too perfect for someone like me.” he mumbles.

“A
ll your secrets are safe with me ...you are better than you think you are.” I whisper as I continue to run my hands through his hair.

"B
aby if you knew the things I have done, you wouldn’t think so. I’m a terrible person…” he says as he holds onto me tighter and snuggles into the crook of my neck with his forehead now leaning against my jawline. I kiss his forehead.

“
Stop saying that. Go to sleep its late, we can chat in the morning.” I say softly and a few minutes later I already hear his deep breathing as his chest pushes against the side of my body. I smile to myself knowing he’s sleeping peacefully and I’m the reason for it.

CHAPTER 10

I wake up with Jace’s heavy legs wrapped over mine and I can feel his morning arousal pressed firmly against my ass and it’s not small either. I also feel his large hand that he left on my stomach last night is now resting at the curve of my breast with his thumb nestled between my two breasts. Tingles course through me as he continues to hold me firmly against his body. I try wiggling away in an attempt to get him to shift but instead he pushes his body into mine and moans into my ear.

“Jace, wake up.
” I say softly.

“Mmmhmm…”
he moans again.

“Jace…you…you’re kinda…poking me...” I stutter.

He chuckles, “Yeah…I kinda am…” he says through his throaty morning voice then he brings his hand higher on my breast still not reaching my nipple. I let out a squeal as he squeezes gently and I flinch under his touch, I grab his hand to move it away but he won’t budge.

“
Teddy, remember what I said about getting what I want? I want to touch you and I’m going to. You feel too damn good not too. Your skin is so soft…”  He purrs into my ear.

“Oh
… is that my new nickname? Teddy? Aren’t you original….Jacey. I honestly don’t care how much you want to “
touch me
” right now, I’m nauseas and need the bathroom, so unless you want me to chunder on you….move!” I yell at him.

“Oh shit
! Sorry Harley.” He yells as I run out the bedroom and toward the bathroom.

I’ve been leaning over the toilet for about twenty minutes when Jace saunters in. I have no more food to throw up, my throat is raw and I have tears coming from my eyes as I’m once again reminded of the little person growing in me and the person who helped put me in this predicament.

Jace kneels behind me and takes the hair from my hand
. He uses his other hand to rub my back gently like he’s done before, I know he’s trying to help and it makes me cry harder over the toilet. Eventually the nausea subsides and he helps me up so I can brush my teeth. I wash my face and wipe it down with a towel. He leads me to his room and tucks me back in bed, he climbs in the other side of me wrapping his arms around me as he sits holding me.

“
You okay baby?” he asks sweetly.

“
No Jace I’m not okay, how am I going to do this?” I say as I let out deep breath trying to calm myself from the panic attack I’m about to have.

“Baby I told you already, you have us, if you need anything just let us know and we will be there for you. You are part of this family whether you like it or not.
You will never be alone my Harlz, I’ll be here whenever you need me…sex included in that offer, just say the word.” Jace teases and winks. I scoff and smack his chest playfully.

“I suppose I can deal with you being touchy feely if you keep saying sweet things like that to me” I kiss his cheek.

While I’m sitting on the sofa in the lounge a few hours later, Anna strolls in.

“Morning babes! How are you feeling?” She asks as she sits down next to me on the couch with a cup of coffee.

“
I’m all good and you?” I say smiling at her.

“
I’m great, wanted to ask you if you’d like to go shopping with me today, get stuff for your room?” Anna says.

“Just us?” I ask
excitedly, I never got to have shopping days with my mother like all the other girls did.

“Yip.”

“Of course! That sounds fun. Will it be okay if we stop at the college? I want to speak to the student counselor though, I need to find out if they’ll be able to change my enrollment from full time to correspondence. I just think it’ll be easier with the pregnancy and at least I can work as much as possible to pay for all the baby stuff.” I explain.

“Harley you know we are going to help you financially? Your father wouldn’t have it any other way… and you know how he is when he’s determined?
This whole correspondence thing? Is it really because you are pregnant or is it because you don’t want to run into a certain someone when college starts?” she asks me raising her eyebrow.

I sigh knowing she caught me
out, “Okay…I guess it’s a little of both, the thing is I’m just not ready to see them together. I can only take so much. I won’t be able to take seeing them all lovey dovey in their new relationship while I have to deal with what he left me when he threw our relationship down the drain. I know how my dad is when it comes to me but I need to pay my way, especially with the baby, I want to be the one to provide for him or her.” I tell her sternly, she nods her head in acceptance.

“S
peaking of the baby, is it okay if I make you an appointment with a doctor around here? I think it’s best we introduced you to a Doctor in this area, you may even find out the sex of the baby during your next consult.” she says enthusiastically.

“
I can’t wait. Thanks so much” I squeal excitedly giving her a hug.

On the way to the
college my nerves start to kick in as I think about running into either Ashley or Caleb while I’m there. I know everyone is still on break so hopefully they haven’t moved up yet.

“
Don’t be nervous babes, I’ll be here with you the whole time and if I see either of those two dipshits I will deal with them. Don’t stress.” She pats my hand soothing my nerves.

After speaking with the counselor
, she gave me a variety of options. The management degree I wanted to take offers a correspondence course as well as night time classes three times a week due to it being popular amongst people that already work full time. I would only have to attend the night classes three times a week for a two hour session.

Anna said I could work the evening
s that I don’t have college, my schedule works out perfectly and it feels it like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I spent the rest of the day shopping with
Anna, she was determined to spoil me and bought me an entirely new wardrobe. She bought clothes that I would be able to wear to work; most of what she picked out was the type of suggestive clothes that she usually wears and even though it’s not my taste, I’ll wear it if it makes her happy. I pray my father doesn’t have a heart attack when I dress for work tonight. The clothes were sexy; Anna said that I should enjoy my body while I can and since the baby bump isn’t all that evident under loose clothes I decided to take her advice.

It’s time for a change….

All the furniture for my room
will be delivered tomorrow morning and I can’t wait to finally have my own space. We arrive home an hour before the bar is about to open so I quickly get ready for work. I decide to wear a black loose, off the shoulder top, it hides the baby bump perfectly. I pair it with denim shorts, it not too short but I still feel naked with my bare legs sticking out. I look through my duffle bag and reach for the black mid-thigh socks. Looking myself over in Anna’s long mirror, I already feel more confident in what I’m wearing. I pick out a comfortable pair of heeled ankle boots to finish the outfit off.

Whilst doing my hair in Anna’s bathroom, she knocks
on the door.

“Come in.” I shout as I switch off the blow dryer and place it in the draw.

“Wow babes you look hot. Your father is going to kill me!” she says laughing.

I look
her over, she has a tight black shirt on with her cleavage sticking out paired with short red hot pants and a pair of plain black heels. All her ink is on show. “You like?” she says twirling for me.

“
Wow, dads gonna have a fit!” I laugh with her.

“
Here, let me do your makeup and hair.” She says gesturing for me to take a seat on the tall stool.

She
straightens my hair and it falls down my back flawlessly then she takes the front piece where my long fringe is and braids it down the side of my head so that no hair falls in my face. She does a dark smokey eye with red lipstick. I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror, I look much older than my eighteen years and I love it.

She hands m
e a short bar apron that has the clubs bar logo on it, I wrap it around my waist and stick the notepad in. We head to the bar and I notice the entire house is unusually quiet with no one hanging around.

“Where is everybody?” I ask her as I start wiping down tables.

“The boys had business with another club, they should be here later tonight but Mondays are usually a slow night so it’s just you, me and Jesse out here tonight with Toby manning the kitchen.” Anna says as she packs the bar with clean glasses.

“Jesse? Dad actually allows you to work with another guy?” I ask her
confused, I know how possessive and jealous my father can be.

“
Honey, the only reason your father lets Jesse work with me is because he’s gay. Well I got a feeling he’s bi but I won’t tell your father that, he thinks that Jesse flirts with the girls at the bar for better tips." she chuckles and I laugh with her.

She shows me how th
e bar and cash register works, when she shows me how to work the beer taps I ask her, “I can’t hand out alcohol? I’m too young, what if someone catches me serving alcohol.”

“
Harley calm down, no one comes around here asking questions and when you dress up like that you look much older than your real age, besides I had this made for you…” she says digging in her back pocket, handing me a fake ID that says I’m twenty two.

I look at her in
shock, “You are the coolest mom ever!” I giggle looking over at my fake ID.