This Is Your Life (5 page)

 
‘And this is Lizzie by the way,’ she added as Cassie re-appeared down the stairs in her jodhpurs.  ‘She’s staying at the Star.  Dave’s fixing her car.’

Cassie looked
across with interest.  Lizzie’s first impression had been right.  She really was extraordinarily pretty, with golden skin and dark eyes fringed with the blackest lashes.  And that hair was just glorious – waist-length Titian curls, now caught in a heavy plait that she’d looped over. Lizzie put her at about sixteen.

             
‘Hello!  Poor you,’ she said sympathetically, then turned to glare at her mother.

             
‘It was really, really embarrassing Mummy.  I was standing outside for half an hour until Mrs Hepplewhite came along.  And on my own, all that time.  I could have been kidnapped or mugged or anything… Think how guilty you’d have felt… ’

‘I’m sorry Cass
ie.  Honestly, darling. I promise to remember next time...’

‘You always say that
…’  Cassie was not to be placated, and was pulling on her boots when there was a knock at the back door.

‘Hello Cass.  Hi Mrs M…er…’ 
A tall skinny boy stood there looking awkward.  Cassie looked exasperated.

‘Oh Dylan, not now… Felix is coming over and I need to warm Halla up.  And I’m
already late because my useless mother forgot about me…’  Cassie glared at Antonia one final time before stomping out.

Dylan shuffled his feet and went pink.  ‘Ok, well, I’ll er go
then…’

‘I really wish she’d put the poor boy out of his misery,’ said Antonia after he’d gone.  ‘Truly.  If it’s not him hanging around looking lovesick it’s his brother and Cassie’s not interested in either of them, thank God.’

‘That’s a shame, he seemed – nice.’  Gentle, thought Lizzie, and clearly besotted with Cassie.

‘Teenagers,’ huffed Antonia.  ‘Emotional, hormonal and spotty – they’re all the same. 
I’ll open another bottle.’

But Lizzie got up to leave.

‘
Thanks, but I should get back. Thank you so much, for the wine and the shoulder, and sorry I needed it.  I’m not usually like this!’

‘
Oh, better out than in,’ said Antonia matter-of-factly.  ‘And God, if I’d been through what you have, I’d be a raging alcoholic by now.  If you’re still here tomorrow evening, there’s a quiz night at the Star. The highlight of the Littleton social calendar!  We could show those old farmers a thing or two, if you’re game?’  Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

‘
I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere in a hurry,’ Lizzie said resignedly. 

As she walked down the path, Lizzie watched over the fence as cool as a cucumber, Cassie cantered a feisty looking horse around the floodlit school while a small, ferocious German barked orders at her.  They looked like one, as under her with its chin tucked in and its tail aloft like a flag, the little black horse pirouetted and waltzed as effortlessly as a prima ballerina. Whether you liked horses or not, it really was rather pretty, she couldn’t help admitting.

By now
getting dark, as Lizzie walked down the lane, in a weird sort of way she liked it.  It wasn’t the same as London where she’d found herself looking over her shoulder every five minutes or jumping at every shadow that moved. Here, she felt safer.  It was turning out to be quite friendly – well, more or less. Even William, the ranting farmer in the Stranglers t-shirt had forgotten to mutter about ramblers when he stomped past in the opposite direction, glaring distrustfully instead. Antonia was right - he did have quite a nice bum – Lizzie took a sneaky look.  And the Star didn’t look quite so dismal either, as the sun dropped behind the horizon.

By Friday Lizzie had fallen into a new routine.  Deciding she might as well treat this like a mini-holiday, she was waking decadently late for her and sometime before nine, she’d pull on whatever clothes came to hand and wander down for breakfast – only this morning, instead of the barman and his smart-alec comments, there was a tall, angular girl with bright eyes and pink spiky hair that stuck out in tufts.  Over slashed jeans and a black lace vest, she wore a short orange cardigan that clashed horribly with her hair.

‘
Blimey!  You actually staying here?’ she said, looking as surprised as Lizzie.  ‘Kettle’s on.  I suppose I better get you some breakfast.  Oh, I’m Tilly by the way.’  She smiled widely showing the gap in her front teeth.

‘Hi
, I’m Lizzie.  Tea would be perfect, and some toast if it’s not too much trouble…’

Lizzie sat by the window and flicked through the local paper.  There was the usual quota of speeding cars flashing by, and a particularly noisy one went past just as Tilly brought breakfast over.

‘Noisy bastards aren’t they?’  She looked cross, then sat herself down opposite
Lizzie.  ‘Don’t mind do you?  Only I spend so much time on my feet.  I’m a hairdresser. Well, I’m training to be one.  Money’s rubbish, that’s why I work here too.  Bloody knackering it is.  Anyway, you wait till Monday!  The word on the grapevine is that the villagers are going to revolt!  Those cars will think twice once they’ve got stuck behind a flock of sheep…  It takes William half an hour to move his lot from just over the road there to his fields up the other end of the lane.  I think he’s got about three hundred of them… They’re so cute!  Anyway, just think how many cars will be queued up by the time he’s finished!  I’m coming in specially to watch!’

Barely
drawing breath she chattered on.  ‘And Mr Woodleigh’s joining in with his cows.  They’ve been everywhere, his cows – his fences are terrible.  Last year they escaped and stormed the village fete!  Mrs Hepplewhite was upset because they demolished the cake tent before the judging and she was determined to win… Everyone helped to round them up but there’s no hurrying those heifers anywhere.  Oh, I can’t wait!’ she squeaked and jumped up as the phone started to ring.

T
here was a special delivery after breakfast.  A lifeline in the shape of a new mobile.  Katie had charged it, put credit on it and programmed her number into the address book. There was even a text waiting, ordering her to call straight away which Lizzie did, from the privacy of her room.

‘
Katie!  It’s me! Thank you
so
much!’

‘Lizzie!  I’ve had a brilliant idea!  Why don’t I come and join you
for the weekend?  You’re stuck there and I’m not busy now… You see, I had a wedding to go to until the bride did a runner… D’you think there’s any chance of a room?

Lizzie’s
heart leapt.  ‘There are plenty but you can share mine!  It’s huge!  When can you get here?’

‘Well, if I remember rightly, I took the afternoon off to go with a certain bride-to-be
for a manicure and bikini wax, so if I finish here about twelve, I don’t know…I could be with you by six I guess?’

‘Well bring your glad rags
!  Because you and I have a date.  Oh, and Antonia, of course, to the Star’s weekly quiz night. Tonight!’  Lizzie said ecstatically.

‘
Quiz night?  Oh God.  You sound like you’re looking forward to it,’ said Katie, rather worriedly.

Lizzie found herself with yet another glorious sunny day at her disposal.  With more enthusiasm than the previous day, this time she stuffed her mother’s letter in her pocket and heading in the opposite direction to last time, she followed paths through the fields to a sheltered spot by a lake.

T
ime really was a luxury. But an essential one, she’d decided. Too much rushing around made you forget that.  She was lying in the long grass just feet from the water. The peace and quiet were exactly what she’d been looking for and even though she was miles from Roscarn and nowhere near the sea, she could feel it soaking into her. 

How odd
that she didn’t miss Jamie
just a little bit
.  After three years of sharing a home and a life and a bed - but actually that had been the least spontaneous area of their relationship.  Friday and Saturday nights and not exactly earth-moving. It just went to show, didn’t it. 

At least
she’d escaped - by the skin of her teeth. Screwing up her eyes, Lizzie thought about it.  Jamie and his friends had the money and enormous houses, while she was homeless and jobless but free.  But she liked how that sounded and sighing, turned her gaze upwards, feeling slightly as though she was playing truant from some boring history lesson, waiting, any minute now for a voice to boom out and hand her a detention. 

How utterly
self-indulgent it was, just to lie staring at the heavens.  When had she last really looked at the sky, or at the feathery wisps of cloud like spiders’ webs, twisting and turning on the blue.  Lizzie watched the ghostly shapes drifting slowly, her mind emptying and that was when she felt the faintest stirrings of something else. Briefly, madly, she fancied she could hear a whispering, as if the trees were breathing their secret to her. Fleetingly as she lay there, a hint of breeze brushed her skin and suddenly she felt part of something much greater and more powerful, turning her ear to the ground for a second, listening for the drumming of nature’s heartbeat.

A
splash in the lake jolted her from her ponderings, and rolling over, Lizzie fixed her eyes on the clear water.  A dragonfly flitted here and there over the glittering surface, catching the light as it went.  Stalks of grasses waved slightly, barely moving. Here it was again, all around her - that sense of utter peace.  Flopping over onto her back again, she dozed.   

The
sun was low when she awoke.  She took a last look around as she got up.  How beautiful this place was.  All the handiwork of nature, but the grasses framing the lake
just so
, with clusters of wildflowers where the sun reached and wild garlic filling the shade.  There’d be water lilies in the summer – Lizzie could see the first curled up leaves poking through the surface of the lake.  It was as much a work of art as an Old Master. And suddenly, out of nowhere, an idea took root.  Her pulse quickened.  Was she mad to even think about it?  But as she looked around and thought some more, a smile stretched across her face.  She couldn’t wait to talk it through with Katie.

Fortunately the rush hour brigade had dispersed before the familiar shape of the little MG drew up outside the Star, and Lizzie ran outside to meet her. 

‘Lizzie!  You look
- so different!’ Katie studied her friend, lightly tanned and so much more relaxed in such a short space of time.  ‘Oh, it’s
so
brilliant to see you!’  She hugged her, smelling familiarly of her trademark CKOne, before stepping back and looking at her quizzically.

Lizzie
glanced down at the scruffy old jeans which she’d barely noticed. And what was wrong with an old T-shirt when all she was doing was walking and lying in the sun and daydreaming…  Katie by contrast, was dressed in slick, elegant black as she always was. Every bit the city girl, Katie, not one shiny brown hair out of place. 

Linking
her arm through Katie’s, she didn’t even notice how odd it sounded when she said ‘Perhaps we could walk up to Dave’s to get my clothes...’ 

Then she showed Katie to their room.

‘Now don’t expect too much,’
Lizzie warned, fiddling with the clunky lock.  ‘Are you ready?  And here we are!  Welcome to Littleton’s finest!’

‘Erm, lovely,’ said Katie,
taking in the tired wallpaper and the curtains that didn’t quite meet in the middle. She slung her bag on the floor.  ‘Not exactly the Ritz but hey!  Now what does a girl have to do to get a drink round here?  I mean we are in a pub aren’t we! Shall we order something on room service?’  

Lizzie
nearly choked.  ‘Er, round here? I’ll nip downstairs and get a bottle.  Red ok?  It’s slightly less horrible than the white.’

She disappeared and was back in no time
with a bottle and two glasses.  As she poured it, Katie took one and held it towards Lizzie.

‘
Here’s to your new life…long may it last!’

‘T
hat, my friend, is up to Mick!’  Lizzie clinked her glass against Katie’s.

‘Now, spill! 
I can’t believe it but you still haven’t really told me
anything
…’

‘I’m not sure where to start… I suppose
…’  Lizzie thought back.  ‘It was that last day at work.  Tuesday wasn’t it?’  It seemed a lifetime ago.  ‘Anyway, it was just another boring, tedious day, and suddenly I realised I wasn’t excited about anything.  Not about marrying Jamie, or the wedding - any of it. It had all become a chore.  Isn’t that terrible?  Then I had this meeting to go to, and even now, I can’t remember what it was about.  It was like I lost two hours of my life that morning, and when it was over, I had a panic attack.  At least I thought it was at the time, and I ended up leaving early… Actually the whole day was weird.’  Only as Lizzie recalled it did she realise it was true.  ‘I’m beginning to realise Katie, I’ve been missing something for ages.  Probably since before Mum was ill.  I’m still not sure exactly what… Anyway, it all ended up with me finding this.’

She
rummaged around for letter and passed it to Katie.

‘I
do
understand why you did it,’ said Katie slowly, after reading it.  ‘Oh Lizzie, I wouldn’t have blamed you for leaving Jamie anyway, you know that.  I wished you had left him ages ago, but this is brilliant isn’t it?  Kind of reminds you what’s important.  It is strange though, how in all this time, you only found it this week…’

‘Imagine if I’d found it a week later,’
Lizzie said.

‘I never thought Jamie was right for you,’ said Katie.  ‘He sapped the life out of you.  You stopped laughing and doing
mad things.  I know that was partly because of your Mum, but I never imagined you’d marry him…’

‘
Oh Katie…  I’ve thought about so much these last few days,’ Lizzie told her. ‘You wouldn’t believe it!  It’s the crying I should have done a year ago! You should have seen me at Antonia’s! It comes and goes,’ her voice wobbled again. ‘But at last, for the first time, it’s a little easier.  It really does help to talk about it.  And I think I need to.’

‘I always thought you coped so well,’ Katie said softly.  ‘Just the same old Lizzie, life going on as usual.’

‘Well, on the outside maybe.  I only pretended I was fine because Jamie was so unsympathetic.  The one time he saw me cry, guess what he said:
now chin up Eliza, don’t let the side down. 
Can you believe it?  What sort of thing is that to say to someone whose mother’s just died?’  A tear trickled down her cheek.

‘
So what now?’ said Katie, ever practical.

‘
I’m not really sure,’ Lizzie said, ‘beyond this evening.  The quiz night starts in half an hour and I’ve promised to join Antonia against the farmers! And then, once I have my car back, I need to decide what comes next.  I mean, I thought I’d head towards Cornwall of course, but after that, I was thinking… maybe… about being a garden designer… but I’m not sure – it seems a rather big step...’

Katie
’s eyes lit up.  ‘Seriously?  That would be perfect, Lizzie!  You could advertise locally, have a website, start in a small way…it wouldn’t be difficult at all.  Where, though?’

‘I haven’t got that far.’ 
Small steps at the moment - one at a time...
  ‘I – I think I’ll go to Cornwall first, and decide after that.  But you think that maybe it would work?’

‘Absolutely!’ Katie said.  ‘You’ve been designing gardens on paper for years haven’t you – it can’t be that different…’ 

‘
Only that I’ll be on my own,’ said Lizzie slowly.  ‘I don’t know… I need to think about it. Look at the time! I think we should find Antonia.’

Antonia was already halfway through her drink by the time they went down to the bar.  The farmers were gathered round a couple of tables, leaning on their elbows and muttering amongst themselves, throwing hostile glances in the general direction of the girls.

‘Oh excellent!’ said
Antonia, her eyes lighting up.  ‘Had a horrible feeling you’d had a better offer!’

‘
Not much chance of that!  Antonia – this is Katie, my er, matron of honour and my best friend!’

‘Oh Lord… haven’t brought the boyfriend, have you?’

‘No!’  Katie grinned.  ‘I happen to think Lizzie made one of her better decisions, even if her timing was a bit out…’

‘Couldn’t agree more.’  Antonia nodded.  ‘I told her exactly that – should have married the bugger first and got her hands on his money.’

Katie looked at her - then realising she was serious, hooted with laughter.